The Party

So we had The Slumber Party. And for the most part it went very well. There ended up being 9 girls in all counting Morgan and Daisy, which ended up being the perfect number. 

The girls flipped over the zipper pouches and hair bows, and they had a blast making the bottle cap pins, glass stone magnets, tie dye shirts, and canvas bags. My mom had balloons and streamers, and a gorgeous food table set up. She got some great gifts (almost all of them One Direction themed, which was just fine with her!), and they had fun playing her One Direction trivia game.

The crafts stretched out until almost 2 AM, at which point we left the life center and went over to one of the Sunday School rooms for a photo shoot. Two of the guests were the granddaughters of a very sweet old man in our church who runs the video camera recording all the services. He also takes the pictures for our church directory, and he's had his backdrop and lights set up there at church for months. He very nicely gave me permission to use them to do a shoot with the girls, and they ate it up!

After the photo shoot I set them up with the first movie (I rented Parental Guidance and Diary of a Wimpy Kid). There was a small amount of drama surrounding one particular girl (we'll call her Allison). She had caused a little bit of an argument earlier in the evening too. Allison is a mostly latchkey kid. She's an only child, her mom and stepdad both work jobs that have frequent overnight shifts, and she spends a lot of nights alone in her house - not exactly an ideal situation for a 12 year old girl. 

She can be really abrasive and overbearing, but to me at least it seems fairly obvious that it comes from constantly searching for attention, and she really is a sweet kid underneath. A couple of months ago on the bus she tripped and landed on a boy sitting down. He shoved her, she shoved him back, and he punched her in the face and bloodied her nose! A boy did this! But the real outrage was that the bus driver didn't do anything at all other than to call the boy an idiot! For the next few weeks, every time she got on the bus, most of the kids would pull their shirts up over their faces, hiding their eyes from her "ugliness" until she would sit down and one of the little monsters would give the all clear. (This story honestly makes me angrier and angrier every time I think about it. It makes me think I could put a few of those paddles upstairs to some very good use!). Anyway, she finally reported it to the principal (since the bus driver wasn't doing anything about it), and Morgan went with her to sign a incident witness report. The school sent it to the police department as a bullying incident, and I don't think there's been a problem since. 

Anyway, Morgan is a friend to her, but she can be pretty hard to deal with sometimes, and Morgan didn't want to invite her to the party. I made it a very strong suggestion that she include her on the guest list, and despite the few random moments of friction, I'm glad we included her.

Saturday morning my mom let me sleep for a few hours while she made breakfast - chicken and biscuits and pancakes. When I got up we made the hair clips along with some door hangers my mom had come up with, and by then the parents had started to show up. That's when I started looking for my keys...

And looking, and looking, and looking! I couldn't find my keys anywhere! I finally had to call Nick to come and bring me a spare, and when he came we kept looking. We tore the place apart, even rooms we hadn't been in. We called the two girls who had already left and had them check their bags in case they had gotten scooped up by mistake, and we had all the girls still there go through their things. After 3 and 1/2 hours (!) of searching we gave up and finally had to admit that it looked like someone had taken them. 

I'll be perfectly honest, we all thought Allison had taken them. She didn't want to go home (she rode with me), and she was really the only one there who would have done such a thing. Also, in the course of looking for them, one of the other girls checked Allison's purse and found the phone charger that another girl was missing. (Of course it's entirely possible Allison thought it was hers and put it in there). On the way home I assured all the girls in the car (3 plus Daisy and Morgan) that if someone had taken them as a joke they wouldn't get in trouble, but I really needed them back. Just before I dropped them off I told them that if they came across them it would be great if they would just drop them in our mailbox.

Sunday at church we all looked again, but no luck. It was seriously stressing me out! There were keys to both of our vehicles, and the house, not to mention that $24 key chain I got spanked over!

Allison usually comes over in the mornings to wait for the bus with  Morgan, so I was hoping she would drop the keys in the mailbox when she came. But when I went to get the mail there was nothing there but bills. Then this afternoon my mom called. She was putting up some of the craft supplies she brought, and there in the bottom of the bag were my keys! 

Talk about relieved! And very glad that none of us had actually come out and accused Allison! Still, I called her and told her that we'd found them and thanked her for helping us all look on Saturday. :)

Anyway, that was our weekend. I hope yours was great!

Birthday Week (and a non-birthday spanking)

We're having a very busy week here. Yesterday was Nick's and Morgan's birthday! Nick turned 34, and Morgan is now a great big 12 years old! Tuesday night Nick's dad and stepmom came over and brought pizza and cake to celebrate since we had church last night. Yesterday afternoon Morgan's best friend Lola and her family took Morgan out for ice cream, and after church Nick took us all out for dinner with part of his birthday money.

Today we went out to Kelly and Grant's house so I could do Logan's 6 month pictures, and Kelly fixed us all dinner. Tomorrow is Morgan's big birthday party! We don't really do "friend" parties much around these parts, but 12 is a big year - almost a teenager! I wanted it to be memorable for her, so she's having her first ever slumber party.

We're actually holding it at our church, because we don't have the room to accommodate a dozen or so preteen girls. Everybody is bringing pillows and sleeping bags, and they'll camp out in the church nursery. We've chosen that room because there is a bathroom, not to mention a flat screen TV with a built in DVD player for the movies. :)

I've got big plans for the night - besides the movie(s), the girls will tie-dye tshirts, make hair bows, make bottle cap pins, and make glass stone magnets, and decorate canvas bags. They'll also each pick out a pearl and wire combination for me to make them a ring. I've made an assortment of boutique bows and zipper pouches for them to also take home as party favors. We'll have pizza, chips, popcorn, and quesadillas for dinner, and pancakes for breakfast. 

The best part is that I don't have very much money in any of it. I bought $6 worth of printed felt for the zipper pouches, and $3 in supplies for the bottle cap pins. My mom is providing the canvas bags, and the rest of the craft supplies I had on hand already. I did buy a $6 box of clips for the hair bows because I didn't have enough to do them all, but most of them will end up being used for bows to put in my Etsy shop. And I'll have to buy a pack of magnets for the glass stone magnet project, but with a Hobby Lobby coupon it will be less than $5. All in all I'll have less than $20 in favors and supplies.

My biggest expense will be the pizza and drinks, but my mom provided all the rest of the food. The guest list has been kind of fluid. I initially told her she could invite 10 girls, but she came up with 13 she couldn't choose between. 6 of those weren't able to make it, so she added 3 more, and we're back at 10. Daisy is incredibly excited about it all, and she can't wait for "Sissy's party". 

Nick will hang out with Jack for the night, and my mom and dad are spending the night at the church with me to help me supervise/cook.

I got spanked Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I was already in trouble for not doing the chores he told me to do on Friday. But I made it worse by staying up late Monday night. Nick fell asleep on the couch, which is not entirely uncommon. What was uncommon was that he woke up at 4:30 in the morning Tuesday morning to find me sitting on the other couch on the computer. I wasn't exactly trying to disobey him, but I admit that I wasn't trying too hard to obey him either. I guess I just figured that since he hadn't really been making a big deal out of the curfew he maybe didn't feel that strongly about it, and I have to confess that I didn't really think I'd get caught. 

Anyway, he was furious, which caught me a little off guard, but I very quickly realized that I had gotten myself in deeper trouble. At that point he just wanted to go to bed for a couple of hours before work, and he told me he wasn't going to deal with me right then - the implication being that he would certainly be dealing with me later.

Later turned out to be just after midnight Wednesday morning, just into his birthday. I was pretty nervous about this one. I actually came right out and asked him not to spank me, something I never do. With his belt in hand he calmly listed all the reasons he was going to spank me anyway, then proceeded to do just that. 

To be honest, I was relieved when he picked up his belt instead of opening the toy chest to get the new paddle. Not that the belt doesn't hurt, but wood is generally a lot more painful. But this time he really put his back into it. I almost always get spanked bending over or laying on the bed, which puts me right in front of the dresser mirror, and it sure looked like he was swinging as hard as he could. It certainly felt like it. He always spanks hard, but direct disobedience is a hard line for him, and I've never been spanked so hard with a belt. I shudder to think what it would have been like if he'd used the paddle and pulled down my jeans and panties.

After it was over I cried and pouted a bit, then curled up beside him, and he held me for a while. Eventually I asked him why he'd decided not to use the new paddle, and he said "What new paddle?" Apparently he'd missed my last blog post, lucky for me.

Anyway, it's almost my bedtime, and I'm not about to miss it, so I'll say goodnight!

A great deal on a bad idea...

I used to buy spanking toys all the time. I couldn't walk down the kitchen aisle at, well anywhere, without snagging a wooden spoon or a silicone spatula. The Dollar Tree especially was a treasure trove of inexpensive pervertibles, and Walmart's cosmetics and toiletries department seldom failed me. But not these days. A part of it of course is that I don't really have the money for non essentials a great deal of the time, but mostly it's that well, we have just about everything we can think of. I don't have a tawse, or a loopy johnny (and don't want one thank you very much), but we're really pretty much full up with the sort of implements we're likely to use.

But Friday I came across something I couldn't pass up (although I very probably should have, and I'm sure I'll live to regret it soon enough). I had stopped in at our local Goodwill in hopes of finding Nick some decent shorts to wear. The weather has finally turned warm here, and just the other day he went through every pair he owns only to discover that every last one of them is way too big on him now! He's lost about 50 pounds now, and he's definitely seeing a difference.

Anyway, no luck on the shorts that day; but my mom had given Daisy a couple of dollars so that she could shop, so we ended up in the toy section. And that's where I saw this:

If you'll look closely at that last picture you'll notice the 50¢ price tag. Like an idiot I brought this thing home. It's currently upstairs in our toy chest, although I don't anticipate it staying there for long. The same day I bought it I ended up staying out running errands longer than I meant to, and I came home to a very angry husband doing the chores I was told to get finished while he was at work. Robert and Faith were coming over for dinner and a movie, and were due to arrive at any time.

We managed to get the house looking mostly respectable before they arrived, but that night in bed when I apologized for not having things done, Nick told me we would be taking care of it later. I asked and was assured that I'll be getting spanked. I just hope that if the new paddle comes out he'll let me keep my jeans - I'm not sure I'll be able to stay put if he doesn't. Either way I deserve it, and I'm going to do my best to cooperate.

I'll leave you with this sweet picture of Jack watching his daddy mow the yard a couple of weeks ago. :)

Jokari Auction

I have a love/hate relationship with our Jokari paddle. But it's one of Nick's favorites, it's always effective, and it makes a sturdy and well crafted addition to our toy box. I got ours off Ebay 8 years ago, and I think it was about $10 plus shipping, which was a pretty good deal for it. Well, right now there's an Ebay auction here for a lot of 4 of them. Bidding runs through tomorrow, and right now it's at $9.99 plus shipping (roughly another $10) for all four. If this wasn't birthday week for Nick and Morgan I'd buy them and send them out to my favorite bloggers, because heaven knows we don't need another one! The rubber grips on three of them look pretty rough, but they could be easily removed. Anyway, it's a great deal, and I wanted to pass it along - I hope one of you gets it!

                 

I know, I know, I just posted!

But I recently got back in touch with my friend Joannie of Joannie Discusses DD, and I wanted to mention her forum Joannie and Friends. I don't maintain a link list on this blog for personal reasons (which you can read about here if you'd like), but I think Joannie's blog and forum are both invaluable resources for all DDers, but especially those starting out, and it's worth stepping outside my own policy for. I don't get to frequent the forum much these days just because of a lack of time, but once upon a time I was there every day, poring over every new post and finding myself over and over in other members. Prior to opening her own forum Joannie was very active on the SpankSpot sites, associated with Bethany's Woodshed, for which she still writes. (By the way, the link to her fiction store is at the bottom of my sidebar, and she's a terrific writer! PK, you might even see if she has something she'd be willing to donate to Fantasy Fridays.)

As someone very new not just to DD, but to the idea that there were other people with my needs out there, I was drowning in all the crazy websites and pure porn out there in my search for, well, normal people. I knew that the things I was finding were not really what I was looking for, and it was such a relief the day I found my first spanking forum. Now I'm sure there are a lot of them out there these days, but you'd be hard pressed to find nicer, more helpful folks than the ones on Joannie and Friends. 

I think it's terrific the number of DD blogs that are out there, but they tend to be less of a two way conversation than a monologue (which is fine). Forums give you the opportunity to post your questions to a whole bunch of more experienced people, as well as to people who are in your same boat and may be looking for the same answers you are. 

Joannie took a break from blogging and cut back on her forum participation for a bit while dealing with the care, and then the loss of her mother, but she's come back to both now, and if you're looking for wise words, friendly ears, or just some great stories, you ought to check her out!

All about Nick

I found this fun meme over at Daisychain's!

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
If it's Sunday afternoon, a horribly cheesy 80's or 90's action movie while I take a nap. If it's Saturday, one of his car shows. Monday and Tuesday are anyone's guess, although probably something from the DVR. Wednesday we watch Criminal Minds, Law & Order: SVU, CSI, and Psych, although we record them because we have church and usually only get through a couple of them before bed. Thursday we watch whatever we didn't get to on Wednesday, and lately Hannibal, and Friday just kind of whatever's on. I know it seems like we watch an awful lot of TV, but we don't really have money for date nights these days (and babysitting is almost harder to come by than money), so this is kind of our bonding time. Most of it's after the kids are in bed anyway, and by that time we just want to veg out and relax.
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
Ranch, always.
4. You go out to eat and have a drink, what does he order?
Used to be sweet tea the vast percentage of the time, but usually it's water these days.
5. Where did he go to high school?
That's a bit personal for the blog, but it's the same high school attached to Morgan's middle school (which was also his middle school).
6. What size shoe does he wear?
size 10 1/2
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Classic cars. But more realistically, he has a collection of model cars.
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
Barbecued pork.
9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
Barbecue, although not necessarily sandwiches.
10. What is his favorite cereal?
He actually likes quite a few cereals, although I don't buy them as often as I should. But a few are Frosted Flakes, Raisin Bran, Strawberry Frosted Mini Wheats. Really though he's a bigger fan of Pop Tarts.
11. What would he never wear?
I'm going to go with Skele-Toes. (not an affiliate link)
12. What is his favorite sports team?
He's not a sports fanatic (for which I've always been grateful), but he does love golf and cycling, although those are not team sports. He also enjoys our college football team, but he doesn't get crazy about it.
13.Who did he vote for?
I know, but I try to keep politics off the blog.
14. Who is his best friend?
I am, and he is mine.
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?

I wash clothes and tend to leave them piled up on the chair in our living room (guiltily looking to my left...).
16. What is his heritage?
Scotch-Irish
17. You bake him a cake for his birthday:
Boston Cream Cake.
18. Did he play sports in high school?
He played football.
19. What could he spend hours doing?
Browsing Reddit.
20. What is one unique talent he has?
He's a terrific artist, although he doesn't give himself enough credit.

Dental Surgery

Our youngest girl had dental surgery yesterday. (By the way, that outfit on the baby doll belonged to her baby brother at one time). Early in the morning I took Jack out to stay with Nanny, and Papaw loaded up in the back of the car beside a very nervous little girl. We headed down to the children's hospital and went through admitting, and before long we were in a room. Her vitals looked great, although she was scared of having her blood pressure taken and wearing the pulse oximeter.

Before long they came and gave her Versed (or happy juice as they called it). She thought they'd said they were bringing apple juice, so she was a little disappointed when they showed up with the medication, lol. It took about 10 minutes for the happy juice to kick in, at which time they took us all upstairs. She was absolutely delighted by the fact that they wheeled her whole hospital crib onto the elevator.

My mom had sent her a present to occupy her, which turned out to be a little diary and pen set. She was feeling pretty darn relaxed by this point, so she was content to sit and draw me "a lovely rose". My dad was so attentive and loving with her, and quick to introduce himself as Papaw to every medical or dental professional who stopped by to talk with us. Of course he loves all our kids, but he tends to pay extra attention to Daisy because he's afraid that as the middle child she'll feel left out. Of course she's one of the cutest kids I've ever known, so there's not much chance of that happening!

After a while they wheeled her back and sent us to the surgical waiting lounge, and Dad went down to the cafeteria and bought breakfast for me and him. Because she was too frightened at her office visit to really let him do a thorough examination, the dentist was kind of guessing at what would need to be done. After about 45 minutes he called the lounge to speak to me, and it turned out that they needed to do work on 4 teeth they hadn't planned on touching. The only other option was to just pull them, definitely not the ideal solution because not only did they need to be there to maintain the shape of her dentition, but they were also her four upper front teeth!

There was also a financial issue - obviously there would be a charge to do this unanticipated work. But I really felt that we needed to get it all fixed, so I told him to go ahead and restore them and we would come up with the money somehow.

About an hour later he came out to let us know he was finished. He said that everything had gone well, and that she had done just great. And happily, there were a few teeth he had thought would have to be repaired that didn't need work after all, so it looks like rather than owing him more money, we may actually have some coming back to us! All in all though, it was still a lot of work - 3 pulpotomies and 10 crowns! And of course fillings under all the crowns.

We went back down to her room at this point to wait for them to bring her back from recovery. After about 45 minutes they wheeled her in, but she was sound asleep, although they did say she had come out of anesthesia before she fell asleep. By this time Robert had come by to see her.

They had warned us that she might be combative when she woke up, but that wasn't really our experience. She kept touching her teeth, especially the front ones because the crowns made them a little thicker, but mostly she was just tired and a little discontent. By the time we got to leave though she was happy to have a ride down in a wheelchair with a grape Popsicle in her hand.

My mom brought Jack back to our house along with a big pan of baked spaghetti for our dinner. Daisy has done great with pain management. She cried a little when Morgan helped her brush her teeth before bed, so we gave her the Tylenol with Codeine they prescribed, but she's only had to have it once since then. Today she got a Get Well card in the mail from an older couple at church and was over the moon excited. :)

Anyway, I'm so glad it's done!

Meme......mememememememe!

Today was...well it was one of those days. For example, I decided to give Jack and Daisy a bath. So I take Daisy's diaper off (she still uses diapers overnight, although she usually wakes up dry). And I sat down on the closed toilet seat to run the bath. Every summer we deal with these little black ants, but they usually try to come in through the back door downstairs. When I turned on the water in the tub about 5 million of these little bastards come pouring out from behind the faceplate behind the drain lever.

So I ask Daisy to find me a cup, and she hands me this little square Rubbermaid type bowl. So for the next 20 minutes I run the water, wash ants down the drain, turn the water off, wait, turn it back on, wash the resulting stampede of ants down the drain, turn it off, etc. etc.

At one point I put down the bowl (which Daisy picks up) and start trying to video this fiasco for Nick. A minute later I smell something and turn around to find Daisy with her hand outstretched, waiting for me to take the bowl, which she pooped in when the urge hit and she was standing there without a diaper.

It was then that I decided to just take them downstairs and give them a bath in that bathroom. Anyway, the whole day has been kind of like that, so as a reward, I'm going to pull out a mindless meme from 4 years ago and repost it with my new answers.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I barely got to brush my teeth today - I don't actually remember looking in the mirror.

2. How much cash do you have on you? Not one red cent.

3. Whats a word that rhymes with 'Door'? Shore

4. Favourite planet? Pluto - I'm not giving up on you, little man!

5. Who is the 4Th person on the missed call list on your cell phone? Nick

6. What is your favourite ring tone on your phone? Right now I don't have anything but the standard ones on there.

7. What kind of top are you wearing? one of Nick's tshirts.

8. Do you label yourself? sometimes

9. Name the brand of shoes you are currently wearing? Yellow Box

10. Bright or dark room? Bright, unless I'm trying to sleep!

11. What do you think about the person who took this meme before you? Well, it was me, so I'm going to say I think she could use a short vacation.

12. What does your watch look like? I have about 6 watches, all of which need the batteries replaced. I need to get that done. But they're almost all silver Fossil or Relic watches with blue faces.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching TV with Nick.

14. What did your last text message say? Yes I'll call you later.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? Gosh, we used to have them here when I was a kid, but I haven't seen one in years.

16. What's a word you say a lot (not yes or no)? Stop! (kids)

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? Nick

18. What was the last furry thing you touched? Lucy, our dog.

19. How many drugs have you done in the past three days? None. But I've been tempted.

20. Favourite age you have been so far? I think 35 has been pretty good so far.

21. Your worst enemy? laundry

22. What was the last thing you said to someone? I love you.

23. If you had to choose between a million bucks and the ability to fly, what would you choose? I'd go for flying. I'm pretty sure I could qualify for some high paying jobs if I could fly.

24. The last song you listened to? I don't actually remember. Something that Morgan was blasting on her iPad I'm sure.

25. What's your favourite number? 7

26. Where did you live in 1987? with my parents since I turned 10 that year!

27. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? I don't ever really use vending machines these days, but if it's outside a store I'd tell someone inside.

28. If you had to get a tattoo, what and where? I have one, but my next one will probably be a butterfly on the back of my neck.

29. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? French.

30. Are you touchy feely? With people I love I am.

31. Name three things that you have on you at all times? my ear rings and several rings.

32. When was the last time you WROTE a letter to someone and mailed it? I don't know if it counts as a letter, but I try to include a hand written note with all of my etsy orders, and I mailed one of those out yesterday.

33. Can you change the oil on a car? Nope - I married a mechanic!

34. How far back do you know about your ancestry? a couple of hundred years.

35. When showering, do you start the water and then get in, or get in and then start the water? Get in, but I always take a bath and shave first, so I'm already in when I start the shower. Although tonight I'm thinking I'll just be showering if I even brave that!

36. Do you moan in the shower like the people on the Herbal Essences adverts? No, but I do use Herbal Essences. I especially loved the way it smelled back in the 90's, so much so in fact that several years ago I bought a little perfume roller bottle of an impressively close knock off scent by this company. (Not an affiliate link)

37. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex? Yes.

38. Have you ever been forced to share the shower with one of your siblings? No, that would be creepy, although I was not quite four when my brother was born, so my mom would bath us together when I was really little.

39. How old do you look? Younger than my age I think.

40. How old do you act? Definitely younger than my age.

41. What was the last song you sang? Probably Patty Cake. :)

42. Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed? open if it's a quick kiss, closed if it's a long sexy one.

43. What is the sexist thing about Condoleeza Rice? Her poise.

44. Who's the sexiest famous woman alive? I'm a fan of both Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence for this one.

45. Who's the sexiest famous man alive? Sean Connery.

46. Does every family have a crazy uncle? Probably a crazy relative of some kind. Mine used to have a crazy aunt, but she passed away 4 years ago.

47. Does playing the guitar make a man/woman more attractive? Definitely.

48. Have you ever had sex in a tent or sleeping bag? Yep, in fact, there's a good chance Morgan was conceived in a tent.

49. What about in a boat? Hmmm...no. Many times in and at the lake, but never actually in a boat.

50. Should guys wear pink? Not according to Nick, although sometimes I think it looks nice.

And to end on a positive note, we got Daisy's dental appointment set up today, and they can see her this coming Tuesday, so that's an answer to prayer!

Three Word Meme

I got this one from Hermione.

The idea is to use exactly three words to answer each of the questions, so here goes.

1. Where is your cell phone? In my pocket.
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend? No thank you.
3. Hair? Needs touching up.
4. Your mother? Blesses us daily
5. Your father? Still my hero
6. Your favorite item(s)? Camera, Macbook, Kindle
7. Your dream last night? I don't recall.
8. Your favorite drink? Iced sweet tea.
9. Your dream guy/girl? My husband Nick.
10. The room you are in? My small kitchen.
11. Your fear? Losing loved ones.
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? A bit thinner.
13. Who did you hang out with last night? Husband and kids.
14. What are you not? A morning person.
15. What's outside your window? Gloomy wet day.
16. One of your wish list items? External hard drive.
17. What time is it? Five nineteen exactly.
18. The last thing you did? Comforted the baby.
19. What are you wearing? Jeans, tshirt, flipflops
20. Your favorite book? Margaret Mitchell's masterpiece.
21. The last thing you ate? Orange jelly bean.
22. Your life? Blessed beyond belief.
23. Your mood? Really pretty good.
24. Your car? Silver Toyota Sequoia.
25. What are you doing at this moment? Writing this meme.
26. Your summer? Ready for it.
27. Travel plans? Texas, lake, camp
28. What is on your TV screen? Nick Jr. Cartoons
29. Last time you cried? Almost two weeks.
30. School? Glad I'm done!

So it was a long day...

Today was a long day. It started out with Morgan missing the bus. This is far from the first time this has happened, but I can't blame it entirely on her. Apparently she asked me multiple times if I would drive her in, and in my fairly unconscious state I agreed. Of course I have no recollection at all of this. What I do recall is her waking me again at 7:42 asking if I was ready to take her. The bus leaves at about 7:45. I was still trying to fight my way out of sleep, and had no idea what she was talking about. And of course Jack (whom she had brought up a little while earlier) was sound asleep on my arm. Poor little guy has been feeling puny the last few days, and I had no intention of dragging him out for no good reason.

Anyway, I sent her out the door, but the bus was pulling away without her as she walked out. Honestly I didn't feel awake enough to safely drive her, and like I said, I didn't want to get Jack out, so I had her ask her best friend Lola's grandmother across the street (Lola lives with her) to take her in. That sounds really presumptuous when I write it, but she leaves about that time of morning anyway, and we help each other out frequently when one or the other of us needs help with the kids. Anyway, she was kind enough to help me out, which I made sure to call and thank her for later in the day.

Daisy spent the night with my parents last night (it was her first sleepover without her sister I think). She's still battling her virus, but I think my mom wanted to give me a break since Jack is not feeling well either. He's been dealing with digestive issues since he's recently switched over to whole milk (as opposed to formula), plus he's had a fever off and on and seems like he might have picked up what Daisy has.

Daisy has also been dealing with problems with her teeth. This is something that runs in my family. My dad told me that his dentist told him that he has calcium deposits in his teeth that make them weaker and more prone to cavities. I've had to have extensive work myself. 

When Morgan was five she had enough problems that they wanted to send her to the local children's hospital so she could be put to sleep and have all the work done at once. We were ready to do it, but the balance not covered by insurance was due up front. It was $1800, and they wouldn't take payments. Unfortunately we just didn't have it, so we had to pass on the procedures. We're paying for it now as she's had about 5 appointments for fillings so far this year.

Anyway, Daisy has multiple problem teeth (we brush, I swear!), and when we took her to the dentist she was too scared to even let him properly examine her. Even with that he could see several things that need to be addressed. The only real option is to go the children's hospital route again, so at that visit plans were made to submit the request to her insurance. They told me it would take about 30 days to hear back. At the time she wasn't having any pain, so we waited. And waited. And waited. And a couple of weeks ago she started occasionally complaining that something sweet would make her tooth hurt. Then this week it suddenly got much worse. To the point that she's having problems eating much of anything that isn't super soft and lukewarm.

I called the dentist's office yesterday. It's been a couple of months since that first visit, but it turns out that their initial request for pre-approval was inexplicably rejected. They resubmitted it (which is what took so long), and had coincidentally just gotten back an approval that day. It's the same situation this time around, only this time the balance due is $1200. Fortunately my parents are able to let us borrow the money, and the office is going to call the hospital in the morning to schedule a date. The worrisome part is that they told us the average wait time is two weeks to a month. Please be in prayer that they can get her in much sooner, because I can't imagine her having to suffer through this for very long.

My dad brought her home about 12:30 today, and she napped a lot of the afternoon. Then about 3:40 I got a call. It was Morgan (who should have been on the bus by this time). She was calling to tell me the strap on her sandal had broken and asking if I would come pick her up since she had missed the bus (because she didn't want to ride it with a broken shoe and went to call me instead of getting on the bus like she should have). Okay, this really pissed me off, because, good grief, why would she think me coming to get her would be any better than just riding the freaking bus home?! Anyway, I had to load both sick littles up and drive to school to get her. 

We've dealt with the bus issue multiple times. She hates riding the bus because she doesn't like some of the kids on there. And we've checked and double checked that it's not a situation where anyone is hurting her or threatening her. That we would definitely be on top of. It's really just random kids being obnoxious (and not just to her), and like it or not, there are jerks everywhere, and she just has to learn to deal with them. Profanity and typical junior high boys humor bothers her, but she's going to face that one way or another. Nick and I have talked about it, and we both feel that just so long as it's not directed at her or manifesting itself in bullying, it's best for her to learn to handle herself, knowing that if she faces anything that needs adult attention she can most certainly come to us for support. 

I opted not to go to church tonight with two sick babies, and instead spent the time trying to unbury my kitchen table from underneath my crafting supplies, but it was a swim upstream between Jack and Daisy. Nick goes straight to church from work on Wednesdays, and today was Faith's birthday, which meant cake and ice cream after the service. All of this put him coming home around 9:00, and man was I glad to see him!

Anyway, at then end of the day, I'm awfully glad I got to be here for my kiddos (even the one that can't seem to catch a bus!), and I'm happy to haven gotten to put a hot meal in front of my amazing, hardworking husband. And now I'm happy everyone is asleep. :)

Hey, guys - just a quick note for those who have asked to let you know that my rings are up in my shop. :)

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter, everyone! It's just a few hours into this blessed day, and I'm headed up to bed in a few minutes, but I wanted to put up a quick post. I've found that this blog has been such a resource to me as a record of our lives, and I hate going too long without posting. (Not that I don't sometimes go too long, but I just hate when I do).

There was a little excitement earlier this week. Wednesday night at church my mom mentioned that she'd like to keep the kids for me for a few hours the next day so that I could have some time alone for housework or whatever else I needed, and Nick mentioned that he was planning to participate in a ride with a local bicycle shop the next day after work. So Thursday I took the kids up to my parents' house around 2:00. I expected to have them back home around 8:00, so I dropped them off and headed to the Dollar Tree to do some last minute Easter basket shopping. I was on the hunt for some of these sunglasses for Morgan.

These are apparently the sunglasses to have among the 6th grade set, and she's collected about 6 different pairs so far. They're not terribly expensive most places, but when I heard about the Dollar Tree stocking them with their spring stuff I immediately made plans to blow ten bucks on becoming the coolest mom EVER. Unfortunately several trips to different locations only yielded a single lonely pair.

Anyway, besides the point. I had finished my nearly fruitless shopping trip and was almost back home, looking forward to a few hours to spend cleaning house kid free and coming up with a tasty dinner, when my mom called. She said that Daisy was sick, running a fever and saying over and over that she was "so tired", not at all typical for my rambunctious three year old. My dad would be bringing them all home shortly, so with a sigh I headed on home myself.

When they got home she was running a fever, but it kept fluctuating between 100.4 and 102.8. She was also very lethargic. I put in a call to her pediatrician's after hours line and waited for a call back. When the nurse on call rang, I explained that she had a fever and seemed really lethargic, and asked if I needed to go ahead and treat the fever or if I needed to maybe bring her in. She'd fallen asleep by then, so with the nurse on the line I tried to wake her. She would open her eyes, but she wouldn't engage with me, and she kept going back to sleep. I could tell she was sick, but I wasn't really expecting the nurse's emphatic advice to call 911.

Honestly, it didn't seem quite that serious to me, but her reaction certainly ratcheted up my concern, so I called Morgan back home from where she was playing next door so she could watch Jack. I tried to call Nick, then remembered that he was on his bike ride and probably would be out of touch. I called my mom, who was stuck at home with only my dad's old truck, which she's not great at driving. She called my dad and Robert, who were out doing church visitation. I also tried to call my in-laws to come stay with  the kids, but my MIL thought it was Morgan calling and didn't answer because she was busy.

My dad called me in the car and told me he and Robert would meet me at the hospital. Then finally my dad reached Nick who immediately called me. By this time Daisy was awake and talking, although she still felt obviously unwell. When we got to the hospital I met my dad and brother and got her checked in at the ER. Her vitals were all great, and the ER staff seemed a little surprised that I'd brought her in. Anyway, long story a tiny bit shorter, it turned out she has some sort of virus, and they sent us home with instructions to treat it with fluids, rest, and ibuprofen for the next 5-7 days.

Meanwhile, I had told Nick to just go home to the kids (since I had been unable to reach anyone to come watch them). He arrived home to find my mom (who had managed to get the truck running and in gear) sweeping the living room and his dad and stepmom entertaining Jack. They had dropped by on their own and were terribly upset to find out that the call they hadn't answered was me calling for help. Anyway, it all ended well, although our girl is still feeling under the weather.

Today (er, yesterday I guess) Morgan and I went to an Arbonne party at our friend Melanie's house. There were free foot baths and facials, and the consultant turned out to be a girl I went to school with for 11 years but that I hadn't seen in about 18. Melanie also asked me to bring some of my Etsy inventory, and I sold $20 worth, a nice little bonus.

Jack is walking quite well now, and he just gets cuter every day! It's hard to believe he'll be 15 months old on Tuesday. I gave the kids their Easter baskets tonight, and he was so adorable exploring his. Most of what was in all of them was thrift store stuff, but they were all so grateful and thrilled with it all!

Tomorrow (well, today) we will go to church, then to Nick's grandmother's house for Easter dinner. It will be her first without Nick's grandfather, and I think it will be a little sad for all of us. It's a sweet thing to know though, that because our Savior rose that first Easter, we will see him again!

Anyway, I'm off to bed - may you all have a blessed day!

Spanko Survey

This Spanko Survey came from a now defunct blog long ago. I'm a sucker for memes, so here goes!

1. Have you ever gotten spanked?
Well, yes.

2. Do you like to be spanked?
Generally no. I know that sounds like the wrong answer, but most spankings I get are disciplinary in nature, and they wouldn't be very effective if I enjoyed them. I do appreciate them (at least once they're over), but I can't say I enjoy them. Now we occasionally do play, and I very much enjoy getting spanked then.

3. Are you bad?
No, not really. I honestly hate to upset/frustrate/disappoint Nick, so I rarely do something wrong deliberately. Most of my spankings stem from laziness or poor time management. The rare exception is when it's been so long since I've been spanked that my attitude starts to spiral out of control. When I get to that point I get really stressed and snappish and usually end up picking a fight despite knowing better.

4. Are you spanked over your pants, or do you get spanked with your pants and panties down?
This has changed back and forth over the years. There was a time when he always, always, always pulled my pants down, or made me do it myself. Then he went for a long time rarely spanking on my bare bottom. These days it really depends on why I'm getting spanked, but if I'm in any kind of real trouble they generally come down.

5. What is your favorite thing about spanking?
Well, obviously there's a sexual element to it for me, but I guess the best thing for me is how loved and taken care of it makes me feel. And I guess referring to DD in general, I love the security it has given both of us in our roles in our marriage. I'm proud to say that Nick wears his authority and the respect I show him with ease, and that wasn't always the case. When he sees friends of his whose wives treat them like children, it doesn't stir up resentment because he can relate - he feels sympathy for them, but he knows his wife thinks more of him.

6. Do you get spanked hard?
Not as hard as I used to, but for whatever reason I just can't take as much as I used to be able to take. It's still hard enough to get his message across.

7. What position are you in when getting spanked?
Most of the time bending over the side of the bed, but occasionally lying on the bed on my stomach.

8. What do you like to be spanked with?
In my fantasies, usually the Spencer paddle, the Jokari paddle, the Cracker Barrel paddle, the Cane-Iac Jr paddle, or just about anything wooden. In reality they all hurt like hell and deliver a serious punishment. I guess his belt is the implement that is the sexiest in execution, but it can hurt plenty bad too.

9. Who spanks you?
My husband

10. How long does the spanking last?
Once upon a time he didn't get the paddle out for less than 50 swats, and it was usually many, many more. Several times we've topped 1000 in one session. But these days it's rare for me to get more than 50, and 100 is almost unheard of. I think sometimes more would do me good, but I have a hard time staying still for the ones I get.

11. When is the last time you got spanked?
Friday night.

12. Do you spank yourself?
I have on occasion

13. Do you have a spanking fetish?
Um, yes.

14. After your spanking is over, do you still act bratty later on?
Nope. If I get spanked for an attitude issue, it pretty much fixes it right up.

15. How hard do you get spanked?
This seems repetitive, but hard enough for me to learn my lesson.

16. Have you ever gotten your bottom belted?
Yes, but it's not something he uses all that often.

17. Have you ever gotten paddled?
Yes, more than anything else.

18. Have you ever gotten spanked in public?
Not like a real, full blown spanking, although I've gotten plenty of random swats.

19. What do you get spanked with the most?
It's pretty evenly split between several wooden paddles. He goes through stages where he tends to use one more than others, but the last few spankings I've gotten have all been with different paddles.

20. On a scale of 1-10, how much would you say your spankings hurt?
 Most of them are a solid 9, but the last 10 or so swats are always about an 11.

21. Do you feel you deserve it?
I probably deserve it more than I get it.

22. What do you get spanked for?
Usually letting the house get out of control or an attitude issue.

23. How many times have you gotten spanked?
572. No, I'm kidding - I have no idea. A lot though.

24. Have you ever gotten spanked in front of your friends?
I've gotten a swat or two, but nothing serious.

25. Have you ever gotten caned?
A couple of times. We've got several canes, but Nick rarely uses them. I'd actually not mind trying them again.

26. Do you like the pain of a spanking?
Nope!

27. Have you ever gotten spanked with a wooden spoon?
Yes

28. Have you ever gotten spanked with a hair brush?
Yes, but more often with a bath brush.

29. Is there something spanking related you'd like to try that you never have?
Once Nick told me that he was pretty lenient on me (which is true), and that I really wouldn't want to see him be really strict. I've always kind of wanted to spend just one day, or maybe a weekend with him doing just that, not letting me get by with anything, disciplining me for every single little thing I do wrong. I wouldn't want to live that way all the time, but I would really like to experience it just once. I've also kind of always been curious about being put in the corner before/after/during the middle of a spanking.

30. Have you ever asked to be spanked for something you did wrong?
I have, but it's been a long time.

31. Is spanking a big part of your every day life? It's something I think about a lot, but it's not really a big part of it.

32. Do you get spanked more than once a day?
I have before, but it's not a common occurrence.

33. How often do you get spanked? As often as Nick thinks I need it, which generally translates to about once every 1-2 months. I personally think I earn it more often, but it's not up to me.

34. Is your butt red and sore afterwards?
Yes

35. Have you ever gotten spanked with a sneaker?
No

36. Do you believe in spanking?
That's a weird question. Yes?

37. Have you ever been spanked so hard that you started to cry?
Many times.

38. At what age did you start getting spanked?
I did get spanked (a few times) as a kid, but as an adult, at age 20.

39. Do you think spanking is a good punishment?
It's certainly effective for me.

40. Have you ever gotten spanked for swearing?
No, but I have made a spanking worse by swearing in the middle of it.

41. Do you think spanking is fun?
It can be.

42. What does your spanker say to you before your spanking?
Usually "turn around" or "bend over".

43. Have you ever gotten spanked for getting bad grades?
No

44. Have you ever gotten spanked for no reason at all?
Not really

45. Have you ever gotten spanked by a teacher?
Once, in the 2nd grade.

46. Do you want a spanking right now?
Not particularly, but I need to go to bed if I don't want one tomorrow.

47. Do you get lectured during a spanking?
Not really during, but Nick usually lectures me before and sometimes after spanking me.

48. Have you ever gotten spanked with your butt in the air?
Yes

49. Have you ever gotten spanked so hard your butt was swollen?
Many times

50. Have you ever watched someone else you know getting spanked?
No. I sadly don't have any RL friends who are into it (although I think seeing someone I know get spanked would probably be uncomfortable for me).

51. Do you hate spankings?
Only when I'm actually getting them. :)

52. Have you ever spanked someone?
Not really, although I've swatted a girlfriend a few times for fun. And I've whacked Nick on the butt with my hand a few times, but I wouldn't dare try to really spank him.

53. How many people spank you?
Just one. :)

54. Have you ever been spanked with more than one implement?
Yes

55. Have you ever gotten spanked for lying?
Yes

Good grief that was long! Anyway, I'm off to bed. Good night!

Straightened Out

So I'm still working on getting the house in order. But yesterday was payday for Nick, which meant it was bill paying/grocery shopping day for me. And I had to mail out an Etsy order (thanks, D!), and return some library books (he decided not to spank me for the late fees after all, so I didn't want to push my luck). And my mom wanted me to bring the girls out to visit while I ran errands.

Anyway, Nick usually gets home around 6:00, but it was just after 7:00 by the time I got home myself. I was a little apprehensive, because I knew that the house was looking a little rough. It really is like swimming upstream with a one year old and a three year old home all day, but I try to make sure that he comes home to at least a clean living room, a made bed, and a navigable kitchen. Ideally I want to have all the common areas spotless for him, but I've still got some work to do to make that happen on a regular basis. 

When I got Jack out of his car seat he was badly in need of a diaper change. I had just changed him before going in the last store, but he was apparently having some tummy troubles. I brought him in and inwardly groaned - the house looked worse than I remembered. The big chair in the living room was loaded with laundry (clean laundry though), the couch cushions were all over the place, and the kitchen was a disaster. Nick was clearly unhappy.

I changed Jack, who was uncharacteristically fussy, and held him for a bit to get him settled. After a few minutes I gave him to Nick and brought Nick a snack to feed him while I unloaded all the groceries. That took a while, then I put a pizza in the oven for dinner. While the pizza baked I straightened up a bit, then served us both. While we were eating, my mom called to tell me she would be bringing the girls home in a little while. 

We sat and watched TV while we ate, and after we were both done, Nick said, "Let's go upstairs for a few minutes." Now I'm no idiot - I knew exactly what he had in mind.

"The girls will be home really soon," I tried.

"That's why we're going up now," he answered, pointedly turning the deadbolt on the front door. 

Resigned, I got up off the couch and trudged up the stairs behind him.  When I got to the bedroom I headed straight to the bathroom. I always have to pee first. I could hear him rummaging through the chest at the end of the bed. When I came out he was holding a paddle he hasn't used in years. He actually made this one himself many years ago. It's relatively lightweight, but it burns like fire. He lectured me for a bit, then told me to turn around and bend over. I bent over the bed, and he pulled my jeans and panties down over my protests. 

He may have gone easy on me when he spanked me last time, but he didn't make the same mistake this go around. He was fed up this time, and he made sure I knew it. I couldn't hold still, and after getting out of place a few times and getting spanked harder each time, I asked if I could please lie across the bed. I thought I might be able to stay put a little better with my feet off the ground. He agreed, but it didn't do much good, and I was still struggling to stay put. Finally he told me I was getting 10 more just so long as I could hold still for them, but if I moved again he would keep going. I ended up getting 11 more. 

When he was done he put the paddle up and told me that I could join him downstairs when I had composed myself. Then he spent the next 45 minutes helping me fold laundry. Today I did better, although I've still got a lot of work to do. 

After we got the kids to bed last night we spent some sweeter time together. I'm so incredibly blessed with him. ❤

The Craft Show

Hey, guys. I'm sorry I've not gotten to respond to comments on the last post until now - it's been a crazy week. The items in the pictures were as follows: 

1. and 2. Satin flowers that were made into either hair clips or brooches, as well as a few headbands.

3. 4. and 7. Leather embellished headbands.

5. Leather rose brooches.

6. Hair bows.

The hair bows (including the skull one) were $4.00 each, and they were my best seller, although I do still have the skull bow. I ended up making a ton more of those, some other hair bows, some little felted wool zipper pouches, some wood name blocks, and these little tin boxes lined with felt and containing a miniature baby, baby bottle, and teddy bear. I also had a few of my pillow covers, although I didn't really have room to display them very well. Here is a heavily cropped picture of my table. FYI, the person in the picture isn't me - it's actually the girl who told me I couldn't bring my rings. I kind of think she put me beside her so she could make sure I wasn't trying to sell them lol.

I worked literally all night - I didn't make it to bed at all. So it was a pretty rough day, but it was a moderate success. I sold some of nearly everything, but taking into account the booth fee and all the materials (not to mention time and effort!), I think I pretty much broke even. The organization hosting is still very new (this was only their second event), so I think it will get bigger and better as they hold more events. I'm not terribly upset - I can list the items I didn't sell in my Etsy shop as soon as I have time, and if it doesn't sell there I'll have a jump on stocking the next show in July (if I participate). 

I've decided for now though to just box up almost all of my crafting stuff until I (hopefully one day) have a craft room. I love doing it all, but I just don't have the room for it right now. My living room is clean (along with my kitchen counters) thanks to Nick, who not only watched the kids and cleaned house while I was gone, but had dinner waiting when I got home. But my kitchen table is quite literally buried under a mountain of ribbon, fabric, various sewing and crafting tools and machines, etc. 

I've been trying hard to bring in a little bit of income, but I've realized that the effort and time I'm putting into that can be much better spent just working to make the house run smoothly and taking care of my husband and kids. That's the job God has given me at this season of my life, and if I concentrate on doing what He wants me to do, He will take care of our income needs.

Anyway, I've got to get to bed. Our brand new TV keeps randomly turning itself off and then back on, so we've got a repairman coming in the morning. 

She's crafty...

The house is a mess, the kitchen table looks like a bomb went off on it, the children have eaten way too many Uncrustables in the last few days, and I've been threatened with a spanking more than once (which frankly would probably do me and Nick both good). It's officially craft show week around here. I've got tons of stuff left to make, and to top it off the head of the organization running the event decided just a few days ago that she won't allow me to sell my wire wrapped rings there because "there are already enough jewelry vendors". Nevermind that none of them are selling anything like these, or that I've got a pretty decent investment in time, materials, and displays for the several dozen I already had made before she made this sudden decision, or that they are a part of my shop, which is what I paid to have a booth for.

Anyway, at this point I'm working hard to fill out my inventory with other items, but I wanted to take a moment to post and share a few pictures of some of the things I am taking.

In other news, Jack is doing just fabulously well in his own bed! The first night he cried for about 15-20 minutes before he went to sleep, the next night it was about 10, then the next night 5. The next couple of nights he cried when I laid him down, but he was quiet by the time I got back to the living room. Now when I put him in his bed he turns right over on his side and snuggles down without a peep!

He's also pushing through his first molar (upper left), and he's started trying to walk. We've seen him toddle between the couch and the love seat at home (about 3 1/2 feet). My mom watched him in the nursery at church tonight, and when I went to get him after the service, she said "Why didn't you tell me he could walk?!"

"Well, he hasn't really been, just a couple of steps," I told her. "Well he walked all the way across the room a few minutes ago!" she said.

Last week Kate and Will randomly sent us a card in the mail. It said that they were at the mall and wondered if we needed anything for the kids, so they just got us a gift card so we could get whatever we needed. Inside was a $150 gift card to The Children's Place! Morgan and Daisy spent the night with my parents that night, so Nick and I took Jack and had dinner then hit the mall!

This is what I got:

It got us Easter outfits for both Jack and Daisy (and Daisy's goes perfect with lace Easter dress my mom already got for Morgan), as well as some much needed church clothes, shoes, and pajamas for Jack. Plus, because we spent $150, we got two free stuffed bunnies, which will go in their Easter baskets. Jack wore the straw fedora to church Sunday and some of the older ladies actually screamed when they saw him lol. 

Oh yeah, and it's my 8 year blogaversary today (er, yesterday technically)! It's also still Ask Me Anything March, so keep those questions coming!

AMA Post Three

This question comes from an anonymous reader:

Where did you meet Nick? Where was your first date?

Nick and I met when he started working at the grocery store where I worked. He was 17 and I was 18, and I really do remember the first time I saw him. He was wearing khaki pants, a white button down, and a tie. I myself was wearing an attractive blue and white striped polyester cashier's smock, but he swears he remembers the moment he first saw me and was instantly intrigued.

The truth is, we didn't start dating for a couple of years. He actually only worked there for a few months, but during that time we grew to be good friends. I have sweet memories of hanging out with him on my break while he played a new Metallica song for me, and we used to rock out every time he worked, listening to music in the computer room where it was my job to cash out the cashiers at the end of their shifts.  

After he moved on to another job, several months went by without me seeing him. Then one night he showed up at the store with a few of his friends. I remember just how he looked, sitting on the tailgate of his blue Chevy Blazer, wearing a plaid shirt, a pair of shorts, and a worn out ETSU cap, and I remember just how delighted I was to see him. I had recently lost some weight, and he told me how good I looked and enveloped me in a big hug.

From that point it seemed like we ended up in the same group a lot. One night a mutual friend invited me along on a group camping trip. It was less an actual camping trip than an all night ramble that took 15 or 20 of us all over the area, from a random field where we all just hung out together to a search for a haunted house to a group swim in the lake. Getting out of the lake, Nick and I huddled together in a towel, and it felt so good to have him wrap his arms around me. Sitting together in a friend's Jeep in the field, he told me he and some friends were planning on going to the mountains to swim in a few hours and asked me if I wanted to come with him. I said yes, and so our group trip turned into our first date. 

By the time we headed to the mountains I had been awake for around 30 hours, so the whole trip had something of a dream like quality to it. It's kind of funny - Kate went with us on that trip, but it was years before I remembered that detail. One thing that I've always remembered seems really insignificant, but it stuck out to me - We were listening to a CD we both liked, and I wanted to listen to a particular song, and he wanted to listen to a different one. At this point in my life I was pretty used to attention from guys, and I was also pretty used to getting my way. He was very polite about it, but he refused to skip the song he wanted to listen to to listen to mine first. I pouted a little bit, but truthfully it impressed me that he wasn't putting up with my crap.

Within a few weeks we were spending hours on the phone, and one night he asked me to officially start dating. Frankly he caught me off guard. It had only been within the last year or so that I had really blossomed and started attracting a lot of attention from guys. Unfortunately a lot of those guys were less interested in my personality and more interested in my newly slender body. Truthfully the confidence that gave me was shallow, and at the core I was still a deeply insecure girl. I automatically distrusted anyone who showed an apparent interest in me for me, unable to really believe that I was worth it if there was no fooling around involved. But I really cared for Nick (and in fact had already started falling in love although I couldn't see it then), so I agreed to start dating.

It was only about a week later, during a hot and heavy makeout session in a friend's basement that I knew I had to break up with him. I was so afraid that the precious thing we had was headed toward something cheap and meaningless, something unworthy of us and that would end up hurting him, and the thought terrified me. Breaking up with him was the hardest thing I'd ever done, but I really thought I was protecting him. 

That was at the end of summer. He was awfully hurt, and he withdrew from me. I missed him terribly, but I tried to move on, and I dated another guy for a little while. As it turned out though, Nick and I just couldn't quit each other. Nick was the first person who had ever kissed me with anything other than pure lust, and those kisses were food for my soul. We found ourselves stealing moments alone when we could, and that Christmas we kissed passionately under the mistletoe while his roommates stared with unabashed glee. It all seems terribly innocent now, but we were both virgins, (and I was determined to remain one until marriage), and the urgency in our embraces was heady and dangerous stuff to me.

By the beginning of the year the tension of the situation had run me ragged. During some of our many hours long phone conversations, I somehow found myself sharing my fascination with the idea of being spanked, and on New Year's Eve he gave me my first grown up spanking. This added another layer of seduction to it for me and left me reeling with how vulnerable I was with the need for him. I wanted him unbearably, but I just couldn't resign myself to the thought that I could be good for him. I believed myself to be too wild (ha!), and I just knew that I would hurt him if we started dating again. January 22, 1998, things came to a head for me. On my lunch break, I stopped to see our closest mutual friend - I'll call him Brad. I told him that I was going to have to pull away from Nick, that I felt like I was leading him along and that he couldn't handle our friendship any more. Brad's response absolutely knocked me flat. He told me straight out that I was the one that couldn't handle the friendship, that Nick knew just what he wanted, and I was the one who was scared. 

When I left his house (by the way, this is the same house I that I mentioned we'd like to buy), I was very irritated with him, but he'd given me a lot to think about. The rest of the night I prayed that God would show me how to let him down easy. What He showed me instead was how very devastated I would be if I never got to be close to Nick again, never got to hold or kiss him again. And I thought about every other guy I'd ever been interested in, and it was abruptly clear to me how very little it would affect me if I never saw any of them again. 

Late that night, Brad came in to buy cigarettes. Bursting with joy at the knowledge that this was really it, I'd finally realized who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I asked him where Nick was. Back in those days we spent almost every night at the Waffle House down the road, and he was there eating. I asked Brad if he could tell him to come down and see me. Brad was clearly hesitant, convinced I was about to break his heart, but he agreed to pass along my message. 

Almost as soon as he left, my manager came out and told me she didn't need me for the last hour of my shift and I could leave, an incredibly rare occurrence. She didn't have to tell me twice, and I bounced out the door and into my car, headed toward Waffle House and my destiny. Brad saw me walk in, and it was with a look of alarm that he watched me take Nick's hand and ask him to join me outside.

Once we were outside I literally pushed Nick up against the wall and demanded "You know what?" "What?" he asked, looking a little alarmed himself. "This not being able to keep our hands off each other stuff is going to have to stop!" "Um, okay, I - " "Because" I interrupted him "I'm not going to be able to control myself around you if we're going to be dating!" At that point my tongue was down his throat, and when I pulled back he looked like someone had just told him he'd won a lottery he didn't know he had a ticket for. When we walked back inside holding hands and grinning like idiots, Brad looked like you could have knocked him over with a feather. 

It only took us another 6 weeks to get engaged, and 5 months and 4 days after that fateful night we walked down the aisle. This June we will celebrate 15 years of marriage.

Anyway, I know that was really long and drawn out and encompassed a little more than just our first date, but it was fun to reminisce. :)

Thanks, Anonymous! I'm still open to questions!