Two blog posts in one night? What, what? I know, call me crazy. But earlier I was reading back through my archives, and I came across a bunch of memes I had done. Mostly they made me realize how very good God has been to us! On almost every one that had a "what do you wish for" type question, the answer is something that God has since blessed me with, whether a new camera, a better/bigger car, a new baby (or two), or being a stay at home mom, God had been showering me with blessings for literally years, and it was really neat to see!
But anyway, one post was a list of 100 random facts about (not just) me, and besides bringing back some great memories, it really made me giggle. So I thought I'd do another one.
1. I'm kind of madly in love with Pinterest.
2. I still haven't mailed Nick's sister and her family's Christmas presents to Texas.
3. This is really shameful and embarrassing, but shipping is crazy expensive for it!
4. Jack has the same name as a character on Lost.
5. That character is not Jack.
6. He was also not named after Lost - we just really like the name we chose.
7. I seriously miss Lost.
8. I play Farmville.
9. I wish I could stop, but I can't seem to let it go.
10. I suck at growing things in real life.
11. We're going to Sea Island, Georgia in August.
12. Nick's sister and brother-in-law rented a condo for the whole family there.
13. Nick's dad is obsessed with giving people birthday spankings.
14. This really creeps me out because spanking is not something I want to associate with my father-in-law.
15. One year he literally chased me around a car trying to give me one.
16. Nick had to intervene and it was awkward.
17. We're trying to potty train Daisy.
18. It's not going very well.
19. Morgan is a school safety this semester.
20. This means that she is one of a group of kids that ensures the kids who get picked up by parents get in their cars.
21. It also means she gets to go to Washington D.C. in June.
22. Jack is the only baby I've had who enjoys a pacifier.
23. His pacifiers are personalized with his name on them.
24. They were a gift from my cousin.
25. Nick is going to be a counselor at church camp in June.
26. Morgan will be going too.
27. I'm a little panicked at the thought of being alone all week with a toddler and an infant.
28. I have a pair of Reef flip flops that I wear literally every day, even in my house.
29. They were bought to replace an identical pair I bought for our trip to Hawaii and wore out wearing all through my pregnancy with Daisy.
30. I seem to get pregnant every time I buy a new pair.
31. Hmmmm....
32. I was a little sad to leave my six week postpartum visit just because I love my OB/GYN so much.
33. She's an AWESOME doctor.
34. Nick's sister who's pregnant now, my brother's wife who was pregnant, and the pregnant wife of an old friend of mine all go to her.
35. Nick's other sister used to go to her too when she lived in this state.
36. I made necklaces for me and Daisy to wear on Easter.
37. I made Morgan one like mine for her birthday.
38. My phone is a Samsung Infuse. It's an Android, and I LOOOOVE it.
39. I think Androids are 10,000,000,000,000 times more awesome than iPhones.
40. A few days ago I bought a Lightscoop, and it's awesome!
41. That was not an affiliate link.
42. I hate doing dishes more than I had doing laundry.
43. I need to do both tomorrow.
44. I really should be in bed, but tomorrow is kind of a day off, so I think I'm okay.
45. Right, honey?
46. Jack will be 4 months old on Wednesday.
47. He still wears newborn clothes, but he's outgrown preemies.
48. He still wears newborn/preemie diapers, although we're almost out of them.
49. A couple of weeks ago I got a card from his NICU nurses wishing us well and thanking us for letting them take care of him.
50. They were all awesome, and I'd like to take him by to see them soon.
51. Daisy has started watching a lot of Dora the Explorer.
52. This has led to her playing Swiper the Fox.
53. This means she likes to grab something you don't want to lose, throw it, then shout "You'll NEVER find your shoe/book/hat/remote! Muahahahahaha!"
54. It's pretty hard to be stern when she does this.
55. All three of my babies have blue eyes.
56. Morgan's are the same shade of light blue as Nick's and the same shape and size as mine.
57. Daisy's and Jack's are my shade of dark blue, but they are HUGE. Daisy looks like a Disney princess with hers.
58. Daisy's favorite book is Llama Llama Mad at Mama.
59. I have yet to take the serger and embroidery machine I got for Christmas out of their boxes.
60. This is due to a lack of space rather than a lack of desire.
61. Nick and I are praying that if it is God's will, He will someday allow us to buy the house Nick lived in part of the time we were dating.
62. That house currently belongs to the mother of one of Nick's two best men.
63. It has the most perfect layout for our family I could imagine, not to mention an awesome yard and back deck.
64. The owner lives there alone, and her three kids have tried to talk her into selling and moving to a condo for years.
65. I'm eating Kraft Peppermint Jet Puffed Mallow Bits right now.
66. That's right - straight out of the container.
67. Tonight I set my blog to send Nick copies of all future posts (with his permission).
68. When I walked by the bathroom last night, the vanity counter top was spread with an even layer of toothpaste.
69. This is not something I requested.
70. Daisy was also minty fresh.
71. I was walking past to get Jack's bathtub, so I guess it's good I was already in the bathing children mindset.
72. We got our (hopefully) final doctor's bill. For both of my hospitalizations as well as Jack's NICU stay, we have to pay $300 total.
73. This is much better than the $33,000 pre-insurance.
74. I forgot to make the bed today.
75. I plan to do some sewing tomorrow.
76. I want to make an apron and some change pouches.
78. I made Daisy a skirt last week with the most adorable elephant patterned corduroy.
79. I also made her a matching headband.
80. She wore them both to church Sunday and people wanted to gobble her up!
81. Jack has entered the jabbering while kicking and waving stage.
82. Daisy has developed an alarming habit of dropping random objects into your drink when you aren't looking.
83. The other day Nick got to the bottom of his big plastic cup of tea and found four AA batteries.
84. He seems to be none the worse for the wear.
85. Morgan is sweating us hard for a cell phone.
86. It's not going to happen.
87. Even though she's the only 5th grader on the PLANET without one.
88. Next month her class is going on a field trip to the middle school to tour the classrooms, hallways, lockers, etc.
89. I'm feeling a little verklempt about this.
90. I still haven't finished cleaning out Jack's room.
91. I feel guilty about this.
92. The magnet on my refrigerator says "I need some stress relief", but it should probably be the one that says "I need some motivation."
93. I can hear Daisy down the hall talking to the dog.
94. We put her to bed asleep hours ago.
95. Apparently she woke up.
96. I'm really hoping she goes back to sleep.
97. I'm glad I'm almost finished with this.
98. I can hear Nick snoring.
99. I think it's time to join him.
100. I'm calling it a night.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Catching up a bit...
Hello, everyone. Hope you're all enjoying spring! It's been gorgeous here, although we did have a nasty storm yesterday. Nick has been enjoying some golf lately. He started to really get interested in it last year when he played in a charity tournament for Morgan's old school. He played again this year with Robert, Grant, and a guy from our church, and they had a ton of fun. He and Robert have been hitting the driving range every chance they get.
Looking back, I realize I've left out all kinds of blessings and family events over the last few months. Let's see, back on this post I mentioned that we needed a new roof. With everything that happened with me going in the hospital and then Jack's NICU stay, it kind of got put on the back burner. Finally, toward the end of January when things kind of started to get settled down, we looked into what we needed to do. The main issue was that we really didn't have anything to spend out of pocket, so we were hoping that the roofing company would be willing to do the work for what the insurance paid after our co-pay. Also, we were dealing with the issue of trying to get the payment from an insurance company we no longer used.
God's hand was truly on the process from start to finish. Not only did the insurance company not balk at paying, but the roofing company was happy with the amount, and they put on much nicer shingles than we had before, exactly, in fact, what we would have chosen if money was no object. They had the old roof off and the new one on in about 4 hours on February 20, which just blew our minds.
THEN, about a month after all that awesomeness, we got an unexpected extra check from the insurance company. It turns out that they had decided to send a little extra (like almost $1100.00 extra). We were very surprised, and it came at a very good time, but we didn't want to cheat the roofing company out of anything (or have them come after us if we didn't turn it in to them!). So we prayed about it, and I called them and told them I needed to see if we were paid in full with them because we had gotten another check from the insurance. Now when the adjuster had come out, they had included in the estimate some damage that we didn't have the roofers repair (a small water stain on the living room ceiling as well as repainting in there). The roofing company assured me that we were paid in full, and even sent me a paid in full letter for our files.
Nick's sister Kate and her family came in from Texas the weekend we got the new roof and stayed for 5 days. We had so much fun with them, and we were able to take the kids to the aquarium, as well as to play putt-putt and a very nice dinner (all of which they paid for). That weekend Nick's other sister and her husband also made an announcement - they're expecting their first baby! We're super excited for them, and they're due the day before Daisy's birthday. We found out a couple of weeks ago that they're having a boy, and I can't wait to throw her a baby shower.
We did have some sad news a few months ago. Robert and his wife Faith, who announced their first pregnancy in December, lost the baby just a few weeks after Jack was born. She was just about 8 weeks along, but it was truly heartbreaking. What made it even harder was that the miscarriage happened the weekend she helped throw my baby shower for Jack. She didn't feel well during the shower, so we sent her to go lie down. The day after the next (Monday), she went to the doctor and they were unable to find a heartbeat. This is the brother who is our pastor, and I can truly say that they have shown such an amazing testimony during an incredibly difficult time. I pray that God blesses them with a baby sometime very soon.
Speaking of brothers, my other brother James (the one who's been living in L.A.) moved back in February, and he now lives about 3 minutes away from me! He was living out of state for about a year and 1/2 for his work, and I've missed him so much! It's so good to have him home!
Oh! Another cool thing - for the last 3 months I've been taking part in a monthly girls night out. The first Thursday of the month I go out to eat with a group of other women, most of them also married with children, and I can't even tell you how incredibly much fun this has been. One of the women is a girl I went to school with, ironically enough one that I had a VERY volatile friendship with during high school, with much more fighting that friendliness. All these years later we're great friends, and Nick and the kids and I actually went to a family game night at her and her husband's house last month. We don't have all that many friends who are in the exact stage of life with are in (married with 3 kids, all younger than teenagers), so it was a lot of fun to spend some time with them, and Nick got to meet some of the wives I've been spending girl's night out with.
Easter was lovely as always. I kind of went nuts with matching our clothes, but we all wore black/gray, white, and yellow, and I have to say, we looked pretty great together. We had dinner at Nick's grandparents' house, and Jack was the star of the show. :)
The 21st I had a photo shoot. It was my first since the baby was born, and it was pretty intense. It was at a special care facilty for some pretty severely disabled patients, and they were very challenging to work with. That said, it was a blessing to be chosen for such an opportunity, and I have such respect for the workers who spend their days caring for these very special patients.
The 24th was Nick and Morgan's birthday. My baby girl is eleven years old! We had a small family get together, and it was a lot of fun. I can't believe another year has passed!
And speaking of Nick, I'm so very proud of him! He decided at the new year that he was going to make some healthy lifestyle changes, and he used part of our income tax return to buy bicycles for me and him. I've sadly not had much opportunity to ride mine (um, new baby!), but he's been taking his to work with him and faithfully riding on his lunch breaks. He's also gone on a few ride events, and he's been eating a lot healthier too. He's dropped some noticeable weight, and I'm so impressed with him for sticking with it!
What else? In March Nick and I got to have a real live date night! My in-laws kept Morgan overnight, and my parents kept Jack and Daisy for the evening so that we could have dinner and go see opening night of The Hunger Games. Nick and I absolutely loved the books, and I have to say that they did an awesome job with the movie. We can't wait till the next one comes out, and we already have it planned as a date.
Anything else? Oh yeah - our old, faithful, much used gas grill finally bit the dust earlier this month, right at the beginning of grilling season. I mentioned it on Facebook and my friend Denise commented and said that we could just have hers. I couldn't believe it, because hers was in great shape, but she's single and lives alone and just never uses it, so she passed it along to us! Our dishwasher also had to be replaced. Fortunately we were able to get one reasonably priced, and it should be here on May 1st. Unfortunately I'm revisiting my dishwasherless newlywed days until then, but I think I'll live. :)
Nick has picked up a bit on the discipline side of things, although there's not been any actual spanking. He has, however cracked down on my tendency to stay up all hours of the night, and it just feels really good to feel him there setting some boundaries.
Anyway, I know this has been a long, rambling post. But I kind of had my head stuck in the sand there for a while, and I wanted to get all this down. :)
Looking back, I realize I've left out all kinds of blessings and family events over the last few months. Let's see, back on this post I mentioned that we needed a new roof. With everything that happened with me going in the hospital and then Jack's NICU stay, it kind of got put on the back burner. Finally, toward the end of January when things kind of started to get settled down, we looked into what we needed to do. The main issue was that we really didn't have anything to spend out of pocket, so we were hoping that the roofing company would be willing to do the work for what the insurance paid after our co-pay. Also, we were dealing with the issue of trying to get the payment from an insurance company we no longer used.
God's hand was truly on the process from start to finish. Not only did the insurance company not balk at paying, but the roofing company was happy with the amount, and they put on much nicer shingles than we had before, exactly, in fact, what we would have chosen if money was no object. They had the old roof off and the new one on in about 4 hours on February 20, which just blew our minds.
THEN, about a month after all that awesomeness, we got an unexpected extra check from the insurance company. It turns out that they had decided to send a little extra (like almost $1100.00 extra). We were very surprised, and it came at a very good time, but we didn't want to cheat the roofing company out of anything (or have them come after us if we didn't turn it in to them!). So we prayed about it, and I called them and told them I needed to see if we were paid in full with them because we had gotten another check from the insurance. Now when the adjuster had come out, they had included in the estimate some damage that we didn't have the roofers repair (a small water stain on the living room ceiling as well as repainting in there). The roofing company assured me that we were paid in full, and even sent me a paid in full letter for our files.
Nick's sister Kate and her family came in from Texas the weekend we got the new roof and stayed for 5 days. We had so much fun with them, and we were able to take the kids to the aquarium, as well as to play putt-putt and a very nice dinner (all of which they paid for). That weekend Nick's other sister and her husband also made an announcement - they're expecting their first baby! We're super excited for them, and they're due the day before Daisy's birthday. We found out a couple of weeks ago that they're having a boy, and I can't wait to throw her a baby shower.
We did have some sad news a few months ago. Robert and his wife Faith, who announced their first pregnancy in December, lost the baby just a few weeks after Jack was born. She was just about 8 weeks along, but it was truly heartbreaking. What made it even harder was that the miscarriage happened the weekend she helped throw my baby shower for Jack. She didn't feel well during the shower, so we sent her to go lie down. The day after the next (Monday), she went to the doctor and they were unable to find a heartbeat. This is the brother who is our pastor, and I can truly say that they have shown such an amazing testimony during an incredibly difficult time. I pray that God blesses them with a baby sometime very soon.
Speaking of brothers, my other brother James (the one who's been living in L.A.) moved back in February, and he now lives about 3 minutes away from me! He was living out of state for about a year and 1/2 for his work, and I've missed him so much! It's so good to have him home!
Oh! Another cool thing - for the last 3 months I've been taking part in a monthly girls night out. The first Thursday of the month I go out to eat with a group of other women, most of them also married with children, and I can't even tell you how incredibly much fun this has been. One of the women is a girl I went to school with, ironically enough one that I had a VERY volatile friendship with during high school, with much more fighting that friendliness. All these years later we're great friends, and Nick and the kids and I actually went to a family game night at her and her husband's house last month. We don't have all that many friends who are in the exact stage of life with are in (married with 3 kids, all younger than teenagers), so it was a lot of fun to spend some time with them, and Nick got to meet some of the wives I've been spending girl's night out with.
Easter was lovely as always. I kind of went nuts with matching our clothes, but we all wore black/gray, white, and yellow, and I have to say, we looked pretty great together. We had dinner at Nick's grandparents' house, and Jack was the star of the show. :)
The 21st I had a photo shoot. It was my first since the baby was born, and it was pretty intense. It was at a special care facilty for some pretty severely disabled patients, and they were very challenging to work with. That said, it was a blessing to be chosen for such an opportunity, and I have such respect for the workers who spend their days caring for these very special patients.
The 24th was Nick and Morgan's birthday. My baby girl is eleven years old! We had a small family get together, and it was a lot of fun. I can't believe another year has passed!
And speaking of Nick, I'm so very proud of him! He decided at the new year that he was going to make some healthy lifestyle changes, and he used part of our income tax return to buy bicycles for me and him. I've sadly not had much opportunity to ride mine (um, new baby!), but he's been taking his to work with him and faithfully riding on his lunch breaks. He's also gone on a few ride events, and he's been eating a lot healthier too. He's dropped some noticeable weight, and I'm so impressed with him for sticking with it!
What else? In March Nick and I got to have a real live date night! My in-laws kept Morgan overnight, and my parents kept Jack and Daisy for the evening so that we could have dinner and go see opening night of The Hunger Games. Nick and I absolutely loved the books, and I have to say that they did an awesome job with the movie. We can't wait till the next one comes out, and we already have it planned as a date.
Anything else? Oh yeah - our old, faithful, much used gas grill finally bit the dust earlier this month, right at the beginning of grilling season. I mentioned it on Facebook and my friend Denise commented and said that we could just have hers. I couldn't believe it, because hers was in great shape, but she's single and lives alone and just never uses it, so she passed it along to us! Our dishwasher also had to be replaced. Fortunately we were able to get one reasonably priced, and it should be here on May 1st. Unfortunately I'm revisiting my dishwasherless newlywed days until then, but I think I'll live. :)
Nick has picked up a bit on the discipline side of things, although there's not been any actual spanking. He has, however cracked down on my tendency to stay up all hours of the night, and it just feels really good to feel him there setting some boundaries.
Anyway, I know this has been a long, rambling post. But I kind of had my head stuck in the sand there for a while, and I wanted to get all this down. :)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Yeah, about that...
Yesterday I spent all day mentally working myself up to shutting down the blog. I spent time researching what I needed to do to take down the posts, then time actually taking them all down. By the time Nick was home I was done with that, but I still needed to put up my last post. So I fixed dinner and got everybody fed and got the baby settled in his swing, then finally curled up on the couch to write.
At some point Nick asked me what I was doing. I just wanted to get it done without talking about it anymore, so I told him I was just playing around online.
"You're writing your Dear John Blog letter aren't you?"
Big internal sigh, but I said, "Yes, I'm putting up a final post."
"What's it say?"
"You can read it after I post it if you're curious," I said. I finished up and set the laptop on the ottoman and told him I was going to go take a shower. By this time he was deeply involved with his new Tiger Woods PS3 game. His (and Morgan's) birthday is the 24th, and we had bought the game system and game for his birthday gift.
I headed upstairs and climbed into a hot bath and let myself have the opportunity to shed some private tears and just let it go. I thought I was good to go by the time I got out, but once I got dressed afterwards I lay down on the bed to rest my eyes just for a minute, and the tears started back again. Finally I got my game face on and went downstairs to tuck the girls in.
Once I'd spent a few minutes telling a bedtime story I rejoined Nick in the living room. He was still playing his game, and the laptop was right where I'd left it, so I assumed he hadn't read my post. I picked up my phone and read the comments by PK and kiwigirl. He asked what I was doing, so I told him I was reading a couple of comments.
"I just saw the one," he said. Ah, so he had read it.
"There's another one now." He just kind of shook his head at me, like he thought I was being silly.
"Do you think I did the right thing?"
"I told you last night I didn't think you should take it down."
He did NOT!
"You did NOT!"
"Yes I did."
"You certainly did not. What you told me was that you just weren't going to ever be able to do what I needed without me asking and-"
"I told you that it was a part of you and you should keep it up. It's an outlet for you."
It was at this point that my sanity took itself off to a distant corner of my mind to throw up its hands and scream a bit.
"Honey, it's not been much of an outlet for me for a long time." And you never told me to leave it up! I added silently.
Anyway, at that point it was getting late, so he turned off his game. I handed him the baby to take up while I locked up the house. When I got upstairs I expected him to already be under the covers half asleep, but he was lying sideways across the bed playing with Jack. I lay down beside them and we spent a few minutes playing with our sweet boy and talking about how very blessed we were that God had allowed him to be so healthy and perfect. There are two craft bloggers I follow that were pregnant at the same time as me, although I was due several months before them. Both of their babies came early and only lived for a short time, and my heart just aches for them.
Finally he looked at me and said, "I'm sorry I've not been meeting your needs."
"Honey, I'm the one who's been asking you to be someone you're not, and I'm sorry."
"This is a part of who you are."
"I know that, but I've got no interest in being a burden on you."
"You're not a burden on me."
"What do you think I should do here?"
"I think you should put the blog back up."
Oh.
Okay.
"I promise to try to do better meeting your needs," he said. There was other stuff, but that was the gist of it. Then we put Jack down in the little bedside carrier he sleeps in and we made love. And yes, there was some spanking.
And yes, I feel a little ridiculous. And relieved. And grateful. And in retrospect I do remember him telling me the night before that it was a part of who I am, but I was trying so hard to stay strong and focused on letting go that I never heard him say he thought it would be a mistake to delete it.
So, I guess you guys are stuck with me.
At some point Nick asked me what I was doing. I just wanted to get it done without talking about it anymore, so I told him I was just playing around online.
"You're writing your Dear John Blog letter aren't you?"
Big internal sigh, but I said, "Yes, I'm putting up a final post."
"What's it say?"
"You can read it after I post it if you're curious," I said. I finished up and set the laptop on the ottoman and told him I was going to go take a shower. By this time he was deeply involved with his new Tiger Woods PS3 game. His (and Morgan's) birthday is the 24th, and we had bought the game system and game for his birthday gift.
I headed upstairs and climbed into a hot bath and let myself have the opportunity to shed some private tears and just let it go. I thought I was good to go by the time I got out, but once I got dressed afterwards I lay down on the bed to rest my eyes just for a minute, and the tears started back again. Finally I got my game face on and went downstairs to tuck the girls in.
Once I'd spent a few minutes telling a bedtime story I rejoined Nick in the living room. He was still playing his game, and the laptop was right where I'd left it, so I assumed he hadn't read my post. I picked up my phone and read the comments by PK and kiwigirl. He asked what I was doing, so I told him I was reading a couple of comments.
"I just saw the one," he said. Ah, so he had read it.
"There's another one now." He just kind of shook his head at me, like he thought I was being silly.
"Do you think I did the right thing?"
"I told you last night I didn't think you should take it down."
He did NOT!
"You did NOT!"
"Yes I did."
"You certainly did not. What you told me was that you just weren't going to ever be able to do what I needed without me asking and-"
"I told you that it was a part of you and you should keep it up. It's an outlet for you."
It was at this point that my sanity took itself off to a distant corner of my mind to throw up its hands and scream a bit.
"Honey, it's not been much of an outlet for me for a long time." And you never told me to leave it up! I added silently.
Anyway, at that point it was getting late, so he turned off his game. I handed him the baby to take up while I locked up the house. When I got upstairs I expected him to already be under the covers half asleep, but he was lying sideways across the bed playing with Jack. I lay down beside them and we spent a few minutes playing with our sweet boy and talking about how very blessed we were that God had allowed him to be so healthy and perfect. There are two craft bloggers I follow that were pregnant at the same time as me, although I was due several months before them. Both of their babies came early and only lived for a short time, and my heart just aches for them.
Finally he looked at me and said, "I'm sorry I've not been meeting your needs."
"Honey, I'm the one who's been asking you to be someone you're not, and I'm sorry."
"This is a part of who you are."
"I know that, but I've got no interest in being a burden on you."
"You're not a burden on me."
"What do you think I should do here?"
"I think you should put the blog back up."
Oh.
Okay.
"I promise to try to do better meeting your needs," he said. There was other stuff, but that was the gist of it. Then we put Jack down in the little bedside carrier he sleeps in and we made love. And yes, there was some spanking.
And yes, I feel a little ridiculous. And relieved. And grateful. And in retrospect I do remember him telling me the night before that it was a part of who I am, but I was trying so hard to stay strong and focused on letting go that I never heard him say he thought it would be a mistake to delete it.
So, I guess you guys are stuck with me.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Whatever happened to that AngelBrat girl?
It's the question on everybody's mind.
Snort!
Honestly, I don't know if anybody's even reading this post, but I felt like I should put it up anyway. I've been a faithful follower of numerous bloggers over the years whose blogs have just gone dark, or worse, disappeared altogether without a word of explanation, and I always wondered and worried a bit about them.
It's no secret that DD related posts have been few and far between around here. The fact is, I have an amazing husband. He's kind and generous and funny and faithful. He's given me three beautiful children, and he works very hard so that I can stay home with them. But things have reached a point for me that the lack of DD activity has started to make me lose my joy in the very precious relationship God has blessed me with.
It's been eight years since we first embarked upon the journey of domestic discipline. Nick has never been completely on board with it, although bless his heart he's certainly tried. But in the last 12 months I've been spanked one time, and it's apparent that it's time to be realistic about my expectations. Last night we had an honest and frank conversation about it, and it seems that there's no way to reconcile my needs in this regard with what he's able to do. By that, I mean that I need him to initiate discipline when I need to be disciplined, and he's not a mind reader with a natural instinct to spank. He told me that he's happy to do it if I ask him to, but that defeats the purpose for me, and I refuse to waste one more day expecting him to be someone he's not instead of appreciating the wonderful man he is.
I hesitated to put this up, because I've had countless people email me over the years to tell me they follow me and to ask for my advice on how to introduce DD into their own marriages. I don't want this to discourage anyone out there who's struggling on their own journey. If you can make it work for you, it's certainly worth it, but if you can't, don't let it steal your joy in the marriage you have.
I'm not naive enough to think that taking down 1200+ blog posts is going to turn my desires off like a switch. If only it could be so easy. I know that there will be a mourning period for me, and I think I'm prepared to face it. I can only hope that with time it will ease off. But I felt like I needed to take this definitive step to place some closure on things for me. I love my husband with all my heart, and it's not fair to either of us for me to hang onto something that's only fostering resentment.
I'll be leaving this post here for a number of reasons. For one, I don't want to have this URL taken over by some porn site, something I've seen time and time again when other blogs have closed down. But also, I've met a lot of wonderful people on here over the last 7 years, some of whom I'm now privileged to know in real life, and deleting the blog completely would feel a bit like burning down your old hangout. If there's something in particular you want to see from the past, you can probably find a lot of the older stuff via the Way Back Machine.
I love you all - thank you for all you've meant to me.
Snort!
Honestly, I don't know if anybody's even reading this post, but I felt like I should put it up anyway. I've been a faithful follower of numerous bloggers over the years whose blogs have just gone dark, or worse, disappeared altogether without a word of explanation, and I always wondered and worried a bit about them.
It's no secret that DD related posts have been few and far between around here. The fact is, I have an amazing husband. He's kind and generous and funny and faithful. He's given me three beautiful children, and he works very hard so that I can stay home with them. But things have reached a point for me that the lack of DD activity has started to make me lose my joy in the very precious relationship God has blessed me with.
It's been eight years since we first embarked upon the journey of domestic discipline. Nick has never been completely on board with it, although bless his heart he's certainly tried. But in the last 12 months I've been spanked one time, and it's apparent that it's time to be realistic about my expectations. Last night we had an honest and frank conversation about it, and it seems that there's no way to reconcile my needs in this regard with what he's able to do. By that, I mean that I need him to initiate discipline when I need to be disciplined, and he's not a mind reader with a natural instinct to spank. He told me that he's happy to do it if I ask him to, but that defeats the purpose for me, and I refuse to waste one more day expecting him to be someone he's not instead of appreciating the wonderful man he is.
I hesitated to put this up, because I've had countless people email me over the years to tell me they follow me and to ask for my advice on how to introduce DD into their own marriages. I don't want this to discourage anyone out there who's struggling on their own journey. If you can make it work for you, it's certainly worth it, but if you can't, don't let it steal your joy in the marriage you have.
I'm not naive enough to think that taking down 1200+ blog posts is going to turn my desires off like a switch. If only it could be so easy. I know that there will be a mourning period for me, and I think I'm prepared to face it. I can only hope that with time it will ease off. But I felt like I needed to take this definitive step to place some closure on things for me. I love my husband with all my heart, and it's not fair to either of us for me to hang onto something that's only fostering resentment.
I'll be leaving this post here for a number of reasons. For one, I don't want to have this URL taken over by some porn site, something I've seen time and time again when other blogs have closed down. But also, I've met a lot of wonderful people on here over the last 7 years, some of whom I'm now privileged to know in real life, and deleting the blog completely would feel a bit like burning down your old hangout. If there's something in particular you want to see from the past, you can probably find a lot of the older stuff via the Way Back Machine.
I love you all - thank you for all you've meant to me.
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