Just what I need...

Last night was just what I needed. When I get spanked, it's nearly always just before bed, and as always, I got nervous as the hour approached. Finally, I asked Nick if we could postpone it until today. It was later than he'd realized, and after some consideration, he agreed. I had to work today, so I was ready to go to sleep, and I asked him to come tuck me in. I went up to bed, and he followed within a few minutes. He lay down beside me, holding me close, and I confessed to being scared. It had been a while since I'd been spanked hard, and it's always hard for me to get mentally prepared in that situation.

The fact is, I really wanted him to just do it and get it over with, but I couldn't open my mouth to make that happen. Fortunately, my husband is wise. He pulled down my panties and gave me a few solid swats with his hand before getting up to get an implement. He grabbed the strap and came back to the bed. He's said in the past that he doesn't like the strap because he feels like it's hard to control, but he didn't miss a lick last night. He alternated between his hand and the leather, and it wasn't long before my bottom was on fire. I tried to stay still, but I got out of position once. That of course only extended the spanking.

Finally he told me that I was going to get five more and I'd better hold still. A lot of my spankings end that way, a clear "You're getting ___ more" which is a good thing to me. It very clearly tells me that the spanking is ending when he feels like it needs to and not when he's tired of putting me back into position. One thing about it though, the smaller that number, the harder they're going to be. Once he makes that kind of announcement, the spanking moves to a new level of severity either way, but "50 more" has less force per swat than "5 more." Trust me, he made these five count. That strap landed across the middle of both cheeks like a line of fire.

When the spanking was done he held me close until I was calm, and then got behind me and pulled me to my knees. Sex after a serious spanking is always amazing for me because I'm in such a submissive and cared for place. Afterwards he held me some more, then hopped up to find something. When he came up with a tube of some sort I grinned, certain he was holding our lubricating gel. Imagine my surprise when I felt the unmistakable burn of Icy-Hot spread across my well spanked bottom. I looked at him in wide-eyed shock and watched the diabolical glee on his face as his fingers moved with purpose between my cheeks and pushed into my butt hole. I spent the next few minutes squirming beside him while he administered a few hard smacks on my blazing butt.

He's never done such a thing before, and as intensely uncomfortable as it was, it left me deeply submissive and turned on. After a bit he washed his hands and tended to another nearby part of my anatomy with great success. He's decided that I'll be spanked tonight and tomorrow night as well. I'm hosting an informal dinner out for some people I went to high school with on Saturday, and a very sore bottom is just what I need for that night. I tend to obsess over things going right, and he wants me well aware of just how much he loves me and how little, in the grand scheme of things, it matters how well this dinner goes.

I love my husband!

Dropping In...

Just a quick post. I'm supposed to get a thorough spanking tonight. It's not quite punishment, but not exactly light-hearted either - it's intended to deal with several issues. First of all it's going to reset my stress level, currently high from various things I've been dealing with, some of them mentioned previously. Second of all, I've been less than enthusiastic with the house lately. I've made token efforts, but they've been only that, and I need a little stern reminding of how important it is to stay on top of things. Lastly, we have a yard sale planned for this weekend, and there are piles of "merchandise" all over the place. This is going to be a bit of forceful motivation to get everything organized and in place by tomorrow night. I can't say I'm looking forward to getting spanked, but I know I'll be glad for it when it's done. I have some great new links to put up, but I need to get through all of this stuff first.

Gratitude Tuesday

This is a very specific Gratitude Tuesday. I posted a few days ago about a friend who was very likely facing the end of her marriage. Today I'm grateful that that's not the case after all.

Monday she sent me an email that said, "You will not believe what God has done for me!!!"

Of course I emailed her back asking "What?!?! What?!?!?"

The story she told me left me very skeptical at first (not of God's ability in this, but of the story her husband was telling her). She met him yesterday to (she thought) make visitation plans for him with their daughter. What she got when she met him stunned her. He told her that he had some things to tell her, one of which was that the affair and the baby on the way were a complete fabrication. (Now you see why I was skeptical).

Some background information: in the past, he has been unfaithful. Ten months or so ago he became a Christian, and that was the point at which their marriage began to turn around. However, at one point after that he moved back out, although he remained faithful during that time. He is a person who has always struggled with the ability to cope with stress, and he has a tendency to feel worthless when things go wrong and to spiral down to the point where he feels like his family would be better without him. That's what happened when he moved out, and that's what happened last week. Part of the trigger was a birthday party he threw for her that had a few hitches, and the spiral started.

He truly felt like he was unworthy to be a husband and father, but he knew that if he told her that, she would try to make him stay. This time he felt like she would be better off if she got over him and moved on. Back when he legitimately was unfaithful, she told him that if it happened again he was gone, no questions asked. So to keep her from trying to make him stay, he invented a story of more infidelity and a baby on the way.

Now I'm sure you're thinking (as I was) oh right, that's likely. There was always a question on her mind on when this could've happened (since he was really almost always with her or their daughter when he wasn't at work). And she'd seen no sign that there was any kind of cheating on his part (as there had been before). Of course those reasons alone wouldn't be convincing. What is convincing is that the girl he said he had the affair with moved out of the state almost a year ago. He chose her as the star of this story specifically because it was something my friend would be unable to follow up on. The affair just wasn't possible.

Sunday night he found himself in a very scary situation in a bad neighborhood, and he found himself looking death in the face. This experience was enough to bring himself to his senses and make him realize what a gift he was throwing away.

Things obviously aren't totally okay between them, but they've agreed to work things out, and they will go to counseling, both separately and together. They still need a whole lot of prayer, but I just praise God that He has given them (and their daughter) another chance.

Utensil of death...

Like Bethie, I have a very greedy bottom, and anyone who's read here much at all has seen that it's led me to come home with some very interesting toys. Today I picked up this monster. It's a steel spatula/turner covered in 900° resistant silicone. This thing is HEAVY, and as you can see, it has the potential to leave some very interesting patterns. As of yet it's untried, so I've got to stay out of real trouble until I can get a good girl spanking with it and it won't have that new implement appeal for Nick!

Bittersweet...

Morgan had her kindergarten graduation tonight. She looked so pretty and she did so well! I can't believe my baby girl is in the first grade - it makes me so proud and so very sad at the same time. It seems like it was just yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital. All of a sudden I look up and realize that she's headed toward six and 1/2. In October I'll have half a teenager! I turn thirty this year, and it seems like all of a sudden my life is hurtling by.

This has been a sad month for me. A few weeks ago I found out that one of my oldest and dearest friends has developed some frightening neurological issues. She's 28 years old and had two little boys. She's still waiting on some tests results, but the symptoms are disturbing to say the least. Her doctor is saying things like "eventually end up in a wheelchair" and "probably need a pacemaker at some point."

Another close friend is very likely looking at the end of her marriage. Her birthday was Tuesday, and she's been stressed about the big 3-0 for months now. As silly as it is, she's really been worried about this birthday. Over the last couple of years she's had to battle with unfaithfulness on the part of her husband. He seemed to have really turned things around though, and the last nine months had been very good. Wednesday, the day after she turned thirty, he announced that he'd been having an affair until about three months ago, and that his mistress contacted him a few days ago to tell him she's pregnant. This is the third time I've been through this with her, and it tears me apart every time. Hopefully this will be the last. I'm not a fan of divorce, but I think it's time she moved on. She deserves so much better, and I believe there's a great guy out there for her. The saddest part of all is that they have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who doesn't understand why Daddy keeps leaving her.

I'm so very blessed to have an amazing man like Nick, and I thank God for him every day. But I tend to feel guilty having such a wonderful relationship in the face of what she's going through, and I always feel like I'm less effective as a friend in this situation because of it.

I've also had a bit of a disappointment at work. A position came open in another department and I applied for it. It wasn't a position I was in love with, and it was basically a lateral move, but I would've been working literally three minutes from home, and with gas prices that was a real draw. And there would have been room to move up from there, which there's not a whole lot of where I'm at now.

Okay, now I'm not being conceited in saying that I'm overqualified for this position. I've been with the company for over seven years, and in my current job I work on every system I'd use in the one I applied for, as well as quite a few others that go beyond what the new position would require. In fact, my current job is providing support for the one that opened up.

I did some research and contacted the person in charge of placing people, introduced myself, and basically felt pretty good about my chances. The guy in charge faxed me a survey to fill out, and I did this and faxed it back. This morning I got a form email back telling me I failed to meet the minimum requirements for the position. I have to admit, I was a little stunned, so I contacted the guy and asked if he could elaborate on his decision so that I could improve my chances for next time.

It turns out that the survey, which was multiple choice, had a point value for each answer. I aced it, except for the section on sales, which consisted of exactly one question. My current job is in customer service, not really a sales position, so I rated my selling ability in the top half of the population but not the top 20%. I do very well at what sales are involved in my job, but it's just not a big part of it.

That one answer knocked me out of consideration, and once you're denied for a position, you're barred from reapplying for six months. I know that it probably wasn't meant to be, and that's fine. Like I said, I wasn't really in love with the position anyway, but I'm really irritated with the way this whole thing was conducted. To reject a qualified applicant out of hand because of a form survey that takes very little into consideration and because of that prevent them from moving in that direction for six months seems pointless and terribly bad for morale. If I had gotten that answer after an interview, I would have felt that at least I'd had a chance to present myself for consideration, and I wouldn't have been as bothered. I just felt like it was poor form. It left a bad taste in my mouth, and I hate to think of it happening to someone else who may be just as qualified and really, really want the job.

Anyway, enough of my bitching. Nick has promised to schedule an "ass-beating and blow job night" soon, and I can't wait!

Gratitude Tuesday

It's Gratitude Tuesday! Here's it is, short and sweet: I'M GRATEFUL FOR SPANKING!!!!!

I got a very fun little spanking with one of Morgan's belts that Nick found lying around a few minutes ago, and now I have that warm, fuzzy, smiley, horny feeling all over. Spanking adds a rich dimension to our sex life (for me anyway!), but it does so much more.

It gives Nick a way to keep me in line, and a way to ease my heart and mind when stress overwhelms me. It makes me feel safe and loved and sexy. And it's fun! Hooray for spanking!

Spanko fun stuff

Inspired by Bonnie and the always entertaining Generator Blog.

Gratitude Tuesday

Today I want to express my gratitude for the things in my life that, while not on par with my family, are certainly important, and I'm very blessed to have them:

My house. We bought our house 5 1/2 years ago, when Morgan was just six months old. We moved here from a very old and rather rickety trailer (vigorous lovemaking once put one leg of our bed through the floor) that we were renting from my grandfather. The trailer was set far back from the road, and when I was pregnant we were robbed. I never felt safe there again, and it was a huge relief to move into a secure home with neighbors close by.

My car. Believe me, we've had a few vehicles that you couldn't call reliable unless you were referring to their tendency to leave us stranded. It's very nice to have one that dependently gets me from point A to point B.

My job. It's not always fun, and it can be frustrating at times, but it pays relatively well for what I do, the insurance is cheaper than at Nick's place of employment, and I get three weeks of vacation a year. All in all, I can't complain.

My church. We joined our church about a year ago, and it's truly amazing.

My computer. My laptop is my favorite toy, absolutely the best gift Nick's ever bought me. And even better, it's got so many friends in it!

Well those are a few, many more to come in the weeks ahead.

Happy Gratitude Tuesday!

My favorite stat

I found this lovely gem in my stats today. I must confess, I don't know anything about the city of Bratislava or the greater region of Bratislavsky, but they sound promising don't they?

Happy Mother's Day!

Just a quick note...

In the last few days I've had a couple of comments left that were each just a link to a blog. They were actually both kind of interesting, albeit neither were about spanking, but I've removed both comments for one reason: these were blatant attempts to sneak links in without asking me. Now if you've read my blog at all, you know I'm very generous about linking other spanko bloggers. And I have a few links up that aren't to spanking blogs/sites at all. If you feel like I'd be interested in putting your link up, just email me. The link to do so is right there on the right. But please, don't drop a comment just to promote your link. I consider that spamming. If you email me and give me the chance to make the decision, I just might add your site, but if you try to sneak it in, it's going to get deleted.

Links

I've got another link update for you, guys. Included among them, I want to point out, is a blog by a regular commenter here, Paul666*. I'll get the permanent links up very soon.

Angel's Musings

Bratty's World

Curvaceous Dee

Everyday Erotic Moments

Heart Shaped Padlock

Just a Girl in short shorts talking about whatever

Living with Spanking

Mixed Blessings

On My Own

* Tan Her Hide

Gratitude Tuesday - Postponed

I've not forgotten, guys - it's just been a stressful, lonely day, and I'm struggling a bit with the subject manner. I know I have tons to be thankful for, and I am. I just need a day to not think.

Happy Birthday, Grace!!!

Happy Birthday, Grace! We love you!

Ahhhh...

Last night I got that spanking - it was just what I needed! Poor Nick - he injured his spanking hand at work Thursday. A car frame they were working on fell off its support, and he got some pretty bad scrapes and cuts. I offered to postpone until he was all healed, but he sensibly pointed out that he has two hands, not to mention the lovely leather strap.

I just have to point out that he's no slouch with his opposite hand. It didn't take long for him to get my butt nicely toasted, and the strap was just icing on the cake. There was a lot of teasing and stroking, and very quickly I was ready for him to take me.

It's so much nicer to ask for a spanking before it becomes necessary!

Hooray for Memes!

I was tagged by MaggieDear. Yay! I love getting tagged!

Question number 1: What are three of the stupidest things you've done in your life?
Oooo - started smoking.
Started smoking again. ( I want to point out that I also quit again)
Went totally crazy with my spanking fetish with Nick when I first opened up to him. It really put a wedge between us, and it certainly tabled spanking for a long time.

Question number 2: At the current moment, who has the most influence on your life? Morgan - getting her to school and back, feeding, bathing, helping with homework, parties at school - the busy years are beginning.

Question number 3: If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick five people to dine with, who would you pick? My maternal grandmother, Nick's mom, Nick's maternal grandmother, my uncle, and me at age 15 when I was living in despair, convinced I would never have a boyfriend, let alone an amazing husband like Nick. (Okay, maybe I'm taking some liberty with that last one, but somebody really needed to give that girl some hope).

Question number 4: If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?
To know 100 % that any children I will ever have will grow up to be healthy, happy, and saved.
Financial freedom.
To live a long, healthy, peaceful life with Nick by my side, then pass peacefully away together in our sleep when we're very old.

Question number 5: Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should really avoid.

I wish we had a beach and a fantastic mall. I'd advise they avoid the mountains on July 4th, because it will take till August to get through the traffic, and the east side of town late at night.

Question number 6: Name one event that has changed your life.Having my daughter.

Question number 7: Is not a question. It's a command. Tag five other people.

I tag Bonnie, Lady Calliah, Grace, Ree, and Emeraldeyes.

Seriously...

I need a spanking. Not just want, although I do, but NEED. I need a long, hard, stressbuster that takes me out of myself. I've not done anything to deserve a punishment, but I know that let go, I would eventually be in that situation, so I've asked for a hard good girl one, with his hand to start, and perhaps the strap, to realign me. And I'm sure there will be sex afterwards (I certainly hope anyway!), but I need the spanking itself to be all business. He's agreed, although I'm not sure when it will happen. He's on shift right now, which means 12 hour days through tomorrow, and tonight is Lost night, so we'll likely just veg out in front of the TV. But I sure hope it happens before too long!

Gratitude Tuesday - Round Two

I'm going to do Gratitude Tuesday again, but this time it will be a little less structured for me. I loved going through the alphabet, but I think I'd kill myself trying to come up with another round of X's!

SO...today I want to express my gratitude for the big things in my life:

My God - He's everything to me, and He has blessed me with a beautiful life.

Nick - I can't even describe how much I love him - he's my heart!

My daughter - Again, I have no words to adequately describe how much I cherish her.

My parents - They love me, they raised me right, they help me out with whatever they can, whenever I need them, and after almost 39 years of marriage, they still love each other madly. What an amazing example I've had!

My brothers - Life would be so much less full without these two precious boys who've grown into strong, smart, funny, hardworking men.

Nick's family - I lucked out in the in-law lottery. When I hear the horror stories other people have to tell, I shudder - and thank God I love mine!

Spanking - Okay, okay, you didn't think I was going to forget it, did you? It's part of me, and even better, a part of me that gets fed on a regular basis! It's brought me sexual satisfaction, peace in my marriage, and all of you guys!

Happy Gratitude Tuesday!