A nice weekend

Yesterday and today was this year's marriage conference at our church. It was a really great experience, and I very much enjoyed this time with my husband. Last night we had a talk about the role spanking plays in our marriage, and I think I've finally gotten a pretty good handle on what my needs are in that regard. The other night Nick got out some of our Cane-IAC stuff and we played around for a bit with it. Everything was wonderful, but I just wasn't much in the mood to play, and we didn't go very far with it. Since then I've really been thinking about it, and I've realized that more often than not, spanking during sex is not really what I want and need.

Now this is not me announcing that I'm no longer a spanko, because that's definitely not the case. I've just finally come to grasp that spanking for me primarily meets a deep need for safety and discipline. And while nothing gets me going like the thought of being spanked, when it's not actually addressing an issue (whether punishment, warning, or just plain stress management), it kind of...trivializes it. I don't know if that's really the best way to put it, but it's like I need it to be a situation where he's meeting an actual need of mine, not just smacking my butt, for it to be fulfilling for me.

That doesn't mean that I don't sometimes love to be spanked in bed - I do. I guess I just need for it to have context. The best sexual spankings I've ever gotten have been after hard punishment spankings, when I'm feeling safe and loved and taken care of and feel the second spanking as a continuation of the first, with all the guilt feelings dealt with and out of the way.

I think I managed to communicate this to Nick, hopefully better than I seemed to have conveyed it here, and I think it was a generative conversation. Anyway, that's just the way I feel, the rest of you can feel free to have all the fun, sexy, context-free spankings you want. As for me, I think (hope maybe) there will be something a bit more serious in my near future.

In the cool new stuff category, Nick bought me this very cool shirt at the marriage conference.

And I've totally fallen in love with and highly recommend this website. I got my first orders today, and I'm very impressed! A friend emailed me the link, and I thought, well that's just too good to be true. But I did some research, and everything pointed to a very legitimate company. So with Nick's okay, I took a chance, and I was very pleased! I will definitely be a repeat customer!

Eh...

So right now I'm trying to pull myself out of a pointless funk. Nothing tragic has happened or anything, I'm just feeling low. I've been doing laundry for days, but I can't seem to get on top of things with the house, and work has proven especially frustrating lately. The other night Nick pulled out some of our Cane-IAC stuff and gave it a try, although it didn't go very far. I'm talking literally one whack with each. That's not to say that it was Nick's fault. I just didn't feel up to playing.

Here's the rub. I need to be spanked. I might even deserve to be spanked. I've shown a stellar lack of motivation lately, and I've been shopping more than I should have (probably more than Nick knows). But I can't ask for it right now. Asking for it would negate it, because what I need right now is discipline, not good girls or even stressbusters, and I need for it to be discipline that I don't have a choice in. I guess I need for him to notice that my priorities have gotten out of whack and that I've not been feeling my boundaries, and to

Happy Memorial Day!

Bleh

Sorry I've not been on here more, guys. It's been a busy few weeks, and I've just felt kind of, well, as the title says - bleh. I'm just running low on patience with life in general, work, bills, the constant boundary pushing Morgan seems to be engaging in, and, of course...laundry.

Seriously, how does it happen? I work my butt off to get it all done, then I turn around and next thing I know it's taking over the bedroom.

Nick has been more than patient with me, but I guess what I need is maybe less of that. I know I need to be spanked, would feel better for it, but right now I just don't want it (I know - crazy, right?). We've got a bunch of new toys that haven't even been waved at me, and I know that almost any one of them would do the trick. I just can't bring myself to try to make it happen. With me, the longer I go without being spanked, the less I seem to need it on the surface, although the lack tends to manifest itself in my general outlook.

Anyway...bleh.

New Dining Room Table, Anyone?

Mail Order Intimidation

I got my Cane-IAC order today! What a package! The paddles are everything I hoped for and more, but even better, the Cane Master and Mistress had included a few unexpected freebies for us to try! First of all was a very cool leather riding crop, which I actually knew about because their May special is that one comes free with every order over $35. Also, they sent me a Delrin Ever Ready Cane, a Delrin Cane 5 strand MR OTK (scary stuff, that one!) and a gorgeous green blindfold scarf! Part of the Oak Paddle Value Set was a 5 strand rattan Mr OTK, and it looks like it's going to be a lot of fun! For service and quality, not to mention price, I'd recommend Cane-IAC to everyone!

I also got a chance to finally experience my recently purchased yellow silicone spatulas. That's right - I got spanked! And it wasn't even about the laundry! (Although that may be looming). Nope, it was a good girl spanking,. and it was very, very good. Put me right to sleep! Yum!

Should I be nervous?

Maybe, but I'm actually quite excited! A couple of days ago Nick let me place an order from Cane-IAC as a Mother's Day gift, and I can't wait till it gets here! I've ordered a Patty Paddle and an Oak Wooden Paddle Set. The prices are extremely reasonable, and I couldn't have had better communication with the owners so far. I'm off to do some laundry!

Happy Birthday Grace!!!

To an awesome friend and fellow blogger!

Blessings

Whew! It seems like ages since I've had a chance to sit down and really post! Let's see, what's been happening in my life? Well, about a week and a half ago, the day before Nick's and Morgan's birthday, I called Nick while he was at work, and he said, "I have some news." Okay, he didn't say good news, so I'm thinking, okay, what now?

"Well, you know how my raise was supposed to be on this paycheck? It's not going to be." Okay, this was cause for minor panic, because this was the birthday shopping paycheck, but I just kept listening. "It's not going to be on this paycheck, because it's going to be on the next one, and it's not going to be what I was expecting - it's going to be more!"

Yippee! They went through and re-evaluated everybody in the shop and gave everybody more money, Nick included. So his raise went from 12% to 21%, just like that! So, while I had to do some juggling because it wasn't on the check I was expecting, obviously this is much better in the long run! Also, I got a raise myself the other day (much smaller, but a raise nonetheless), and it will also show up on this check.

In other news, Nick bought a motorcycle a couple of days ago. This was a mixed emotion decision for me. I'm awfully worried that he'll get hurt on it, but it's something he's always wanted, and his raise will more than cover it. I just have to leave him in God's hands and trust Him to take care of him. Money-wise it will pay for itself. Right now it costs us about $15 a day for him to drive his truck to work and back. Riding the bike will cut that by about 80%.

Right now it's just sitting, because he has to get a whole laundry list of things before he can ride: insurance, a helmet, a jacket, a license, a tag, not to mention take a motorcycle safety course he promised me he would sign up for before getting his license. It's driving him nuts to have to leave it sitting, but he's being relatively patient.

As for spanking, there's been pretty much zero going on. We've had good intentions, but life has intervened lately. It's definitely on the list though!

Happy Birthday Theresa!

I hope you had a great day, sweetie!