Staying Afloat

Guys, this month, and thus this year - it's been HARD. I mean crazy stressful! Let me see, a few of the high(low)lights:

A couple of weeks ago, when pretty much the whole country was frozen, our pipes burst and pretty much flooded the garage. Our washer and dryer are out there, and we have an old playpen out there where I try to keep all the laundry waiting to be washed. Unfortunately, the day before, Morgan and Daisy decided to "clean" Jack's room, and I don't even want to talk about why there were so many clothes on the floor in there, but they took every single piece of clothing, including some of Jack's new stuff from Christmas that had been knocked down from where I had it stacked until I could clear drawer space, and threw it all out into the garage on the floor in front of the washer and dryer. (I know my sentences are too long. I'm seeking help for it.)

So all of that stuff was soaked in extremely frigid water, and I had no idea how to stop the leak. Morgan and I started hauling all the wet laundry into the bathtub downstairs, and since Nick was at work an hour away, I called my dad. He came immediately and went into the scary crawl space under the house and turned the water off. By this time Nick was on his way to Wednesday night church, so my dad had me call him to come home instead. He came on home, and between the four of us (me, Nick, Dad, and Morgan) we got the pipes repaired (Nick and Dad) and all the laundry up and the water shop-vacced out of the garage (me and Morgan). That was the 8th. 

The 11th Daisy's best friend was having a birthday party, so I whipped up a few hair bows for a birthday gift, and we headed out the door to Chuck E. Cheese. It had warmed up drastically by then, so I was wearing flip flops (which I kind of live in) when I stepped out onto our wet front porch. My feet shot out from under me, and the right one jammed up under the bottom of the porch railing. I nearly passed out, but I kept it together, and once I could breathe and manage to stand, I went inside to change so that we could leave.

My foot was actively throbbing all day, and by the end of the night I was concerned that I might have broken the...top...of it (whatever that's called). I don't have health insurance, but I do have several nurse friends who convinced me via Facebook that I really needed to get it x-rayed. The kids were all in bed by then, so someone needed to stay with them. I called my mom to see if she would come sit with them so Nick could drive me in case they gave me something that would prevent me from driving myself home. Instead my dad came down and drove me across town to the hospital. James works there as a surgical tech, and he smoothed the process for me a bit, getting me fast tracked, bringing me a pillow and something to drink, etc. X-rays revealed that it was just badly bruised and swollen, which was good news except for the fact that I could have just stayed home and avoided the ER bill. Better safe than sorry, I suppose.

Both the little kids had been sick all weekend, so my dad and I took them both to the pediatrician on the following Monday (the 13th). Can you tell my dad is my hero? He went to 3 different doctor's visits with me this month. This was a horrible visit, both kids feeling terribly bad and violently opposed to any sort of examination. It turned out that they both had double ear infections.

Daisy had gotten her referral to a GI doctor the previous week and seen her on Friday, the day before the birthday party. It was really more of a consult, and the doctor set up an appointment for a lower intestine barium scan the following Friday. She also sent me home with a little plastic vial and instructions to collect a stool sample. This was not something I was looking forward to, but we do what we have to for our kids, right? Unfortunately she was not producing anything to uh, sample. I stalked this kid for 5 days. Finally, this past Wednesday, she yelled at me to let me know she was ready. While I was "collecting" and pretending I was in a happier place, Jack managed to get hold of not just my Macbook, but a cup of tea that I didn't even know was in the room (it was Daisy's).

Morgan came home from school just then to find him sitting on a soaked couch, splashing away in the puddle that surrounded my laptop. The lid on it was closed, so she grabbed it and yelled to me to tell me what happened. I was a little tied up, so I made sure she had gotten it away from him and finished what I was doing. When I got in there it really didn't look like anything had gotten inside it, so I set it aside while I cleaned up the tea. It was a couple of hours before I had a chance to mess with it, and when I tried to turn it on, nothing happened. Opening up the case revealed that tea had definitely gotten inside. That was really just the end of my rope. That day I had dealt with sick kids (Jack had thrown up - on me - more than once), collecting poop, piles of laundry, and fighting siblings. Plus I was supposed to meet a photography client in two days with a CD of her pictures (which I needed my Mac for), and an Etsy client wanted a custom pillow cover (which I also needed my Mac for). To make things worse Nick and I were snapping at each other, because he'd had a crappy day too (not as crappy as mine I daresay). I took it to the computer repair place I use and it's the logic board - $900 to repair.

This past Friday I took Daisy in for her barium test. She had to drink this awful chalky liquid, but she did pretty well. When I woke up that morning my right eye was kind of red and crusty. This is what it looked like then:

Two days later I was in all kinds of agony, and it looked like this:

Sorry the second one looks kind of insane. I was trying to get it as open as I could because I was texting it to my cousin, who is a nurse practitioner and was kind enough to call me in a prescription for some antibiotics. I was finally able to put my contacts back in today.

Today I got thrown up on twice (once yesterday and several times earlier in the week). Yeah, it's been a little rough.

BUT, there have been good things too. Some of them really good. I got a call one day last week from our water company telling me someone had paid our bill for us anonymously. It didn't take too much investigating to figure out it was my parents. :)

James showed up Tuesday and handed me $50 to help offset the cost off all the co-pays and prescriptions.

I called my mom Thursday morning to ask if she could stay with the kids so I could take my computer to the repair shop to see if it could be saved. She showed up a couple of hours later with a relatively inexpensive but brand new and fully functional HP laptop, all for me, courtesy of her and my dad. I was able to use it to fill my Etsy order and get it to the customer on time. They've also bought both food and medicine several times for my little family this week.

The computer repair place said my hard drive is still good, and they can move all my data over for $89. I'll pick it up this Friday and most of that cost will be covered by the CD order.

My photography client was incredibly cool about the whole situation and didn't mind waiting another week for her CD. I still had all of her raw files on my camera as a backup, so I hadn't lost them either way, but I would have had to re-edit all of them, and with the pinkeye I couldn't stand to look at a computer screen for more than a few minutes.

We were able to fix the pipes for less than $1 since my dad had a couple of pipe pieces that fit, and all we had to buy were a couple of copper joints. And we got all the wet laundry washed before it mildewed.

Daisy's lower intestine scan came back clear, and her stomachaches have become fewer and farther apart, so now we're just waiting on her next doctor visit.

So there have definitely been blessings too.

That said, I'm wound a little tight these days, and I'm feeling a little unmoored relationship-wise. We've been a bit in survival mode around here, and my very contagious pinkeye has just been the latest thing to keep us from getting close. The truth is, I miss my husband, and I miss very much feeling the comforting bounds of his authority. The day after my last post he apologized and told me that he'd known what I needed but hadn't felt like dealing with it. I can't say that that didn't hurt a little, but he was trying to stay afloat himself. I guess I've just been doing and taking care of so much at home myself lately that I'm missing a reminder that he's in charge and I actually don't have all the responsibility myself.

He's going to be staying home from work tomorrow because he's gotten sick himself in the last few days, so I don't think there will be any sort of discipline forthcoming, but I will be glad for the time with him, even though I hate that he's not feeling well.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. Thank you all for all your thoughts and prayers!

Excuse me while I scream.

Today was a really hard day. This whole last week was bad, but today was especially awful. There was poop and vomit and fighting children and endless messes and a possibly fried Macbook, whch I can't even think about without needing to cry. I could use a stress relief spanking in the worst way, but it's been 18 months since I've gotton one of those, despite hints and outright saying I needed it, so apparently that's not going to be an option. So what I'm saying is, if you could send up a prayer for my heart, my sanity, and my Macbook, I would really appreciate it. I sure do need it.

A super long dear diary post all about the last month.

I've been trying to get here to post for a few days now, and I'm finally getting a moment to sit down and do it. This post will probably be long and filled with details on gifts, so feel free to skip if it doesn't interest you. But I try to get all this stuff down because it serves as a record of our lives for me. :)

December is always busy for me, and this year was no different. I had a couple of different sewing jobs - five different winter skirts with matching hair bows, and a hem on a formal dress for the same customer. It was for a girl I graduated high school with. She has a 13 year old daughter who's pretty severely autistic, and the formal was for a special needs pageant (which she won in two categories I'm pleased to report). The skirts were because, at her physical age, it's hard to find clothes in her size that are appropriate to her developmental age. She's very much into things that most 5 year old girls are interested in, so it was fun to watch her reaction when I delivered the skirts made from material she chose. She was thrilled with them all, and her mom was equally happy.

I also had a couple of photo shoots, one for Brandon and Melanie's new baby boy, and one for a customer I've done several previous shoots for. And I had several Etsy orders too, including one on the 21st that had to be made from scratch and received on the other side of the country by Christmas Eve. 

And of course there were all the Christmas gifts to be made. Probably the most time consuming were the Christmas stockings I made for nearly everyone in our families, and well as Brandon, Melanie, and their new baby. My mom helped with cutting out the pieces since it's hard to spread fabric out to cut with a toddler running around, but I did the sewing, as well as hand painting the names on all of them. I think they turned out fabulous, and everyone loved them. 

Besides the 26 stockings, I also made: 5 shirts (2 applique and 3 stenciled), 5 stuffed whales, 9 corn bags (flannel pouches filled with cracked corn - stick them in the microwave and they make wonderful heat/therapy packs), 7 pairs of earrings, 10 necklaces, 12 wine glass charms, 2 zipper pouches, 1 skirt, 7 scarves, 2 blankets (one for new baby Liam and one for Morgan), 1 bracelet, 24 stamped note cards, a taggie security blankie, a bunch of baby bows/headbands, peanut brittle, candied pecans, 2 paracord bracelets, 4 paracord key fobs, 20 or so wax and cotton fire starters, and 2 pillows. I also ordered 9 personalized photo calendars for the guys and Nick's grandmother, and I think I almost worked harder on them than on the stockings. But they were a huge hit, and I will be doing them every year if I'm able. It will be easier next year, because I already have all the dates saved and can just update with new photos.

Nick and I never do much for each other in the gift category at Christmas just due to time/money constraints. But he did get me a $40 gift card to Joann's (yahoo!), and I got him a sweatshirt, made him a calendar and one of the paracord keyrings, and tracked down Youtube videos of all the songs on an album he wanted, then converted the audio tracks to mp3s for him. 

With my gift card I was able to order a jewelry tool I've had my eye on forever (can't wait till it gets here!) and buy some fabric and other sewing goodies. I made myself two awesome infinity scarves out of some of the material, and I've gotten multiple compliments on both of them. :)

Our Christmas celebrations went as follows: my cousin's house for my extended family on the 21st, my parents' house on the 23rd, Nick's aunt's house for his extended family on the 24th, our house Christmas morning, then his dad and stepmom's house after we were done at our house. 

From us the kids got:

Morgan - a blanket, 2 necklaces, 3 pairs of earrings, a scarf, a corn bag (she and Daisy sleep with them literally every night), a pillow, a Loom Bands set (found on Amazon for about $4 a few months ago!), and several shirts from Aeropostale that my mom bought on Cyber Monday for a great deal and gave to me to give her. Mom also made her a couple of pillows and a set of curtains for her room and sent them to our house for her to open.

Daisy - a skirt, a scarf, a necklace, a corn bag, a toy camera, a stuffed whale, a Foofa shirt (that turned out embarrassingly lame I think, but she loved it anyway), a like new Butterfly's doll that I found at the Goodwill for $1 (total score - they sell these dolls at Cracker Barrel for $20. She wanted one for months before we finally got her one back in August while we were on vacation), two Disney Baby Princess dolls (found for a great price at Aldi of all places), and a toy vacuum cleaner that was actually a hand-me-down from my cousin's little boy.

Jack - a whole bunch of toys handed down from my cousin. She did this for us last year also, going through all her son's toys right before Christmas to get rid of the ones he wasn't playing with and passing them on to us to help fill out Jack's gift list. I also got him a Plex beanie baby, and made him a matching Plex shirt. The beanie baby was a sort of hit, but he went nuts over the shirt, which cracked me up. He's worn it several times since Christmas, and every time he's tried to help put it on and proudly pointed at the applique on the front for anyone who would look. :) He also got a toy camera like Daisy did.

In other places, the kids got lots of clothes and shoes mostly, although my mom did get them all some non-clothing stuff. Morgan got about 6 scarves, which she loved, and Will and Kate sent her just a crazy amount of gorgeous name brand pieces. They also sent shoes and clothes for Daisy and Jack, every single item perfect as always. Nick's dad is also in the process of making a very nice set of bunk beds for Morgan's room. He's a very accomplished carpenter, and they look great so far. Morgan's big Christmas wish was a room makeover, thus the pillows and curtains and blankets. The bed is her grandparents' contribution. They kids also got small gift cards to Walmart (Jack), Old Navy (Morgan), Chick-Fil-A (all three), and Carmike Cinemas (all three). We took them to eat and see Frozen on New Year's Eve, which was very cute.

I couldn't tell you everything Nick got, although I know there were jeans and shirts and socks and a jump box (to jump off a dead car battery), a couple of pocket knives, and a basket full of edible goodies made by Kelly. Also a gift card to Bass Pro Outlet.

I got: from my parents - boots, a shirt, a purse, a recipe organizer, 2 books (one sewing and one on organizing for dummies lol), a pair of scissors, a hair barrette/bun maker thing, pajamas, and a sweater; from Nick's parents - makeup powder, eye liner, lip liner, lip gloss, socks, and an electric can opener; from Kelly and Grant - a ribbon organizer basket with two cute spools of ribbon, a pair of earrings, a gorgeous ornament wreath, and some hair bands; from James - a $25 gift card to Hobby Lobby (the most magical place on earth!); from Robert and Faith - a $25 steakhouse gift certificate (for me and Nick together); and from his cousin who drew my name - a Mary Kay mini Satin Hands set and a $25 gift card to Hobby Lobby (can you tell she knows me?). We also together got a huge bag of meat (steaks, burgers, etc - possibly weird, but so awesome) from my aunt, a huge box of Christmas cookies from my cousin, and a big basket of goodies like bread and hams and blocks of cheese and hot cocoa and chocolates and crackers, etc. from my parents. 

Let me tell you, if you're ever stumped for what to get someone for Christmas, a big basket of hearty snacks for the next day is hard to beat. My mom and dad did this last year too, and it's so awesome when you wake up the next day, with no energy to cook and no money left to eat out, to be able to have something quick and easy and filling to munch on! And if you shop sales and coupon, it doesn't have to be expensive, either!

The biggest Christmas blessing came a few days later from Kate and Will. We're always just crazy tight by the end of the year, and this year was the worst it's ever been. I knew that we would need about $1000 more than Nick's last check of the year was likely to be to just pay the bills, let alone buy gas and groceries. And the check after that (the one coming this Friday) would be particularly short due to the way the holidays fell this year, so we would need to supplement that one by several hundred dollars as well. 

When there's a holiday at most jobs it means full pay for a day off, or maybe even a bonus. At his job they get 8 hours pay, which sounds quite fair, except he works on commission, and being at a car dealership, they get paid for the number of hours an order is supposed to take (which sets the price for a service that the customer pays), not the number it actually takes. Which means that if they are quite good at their job (which Nick is), then an 8 hour ticket might only take them an hour or two of actual labor. This means that on an average day they might clock 12-15 hours in the time they're there, so an 8 hour pay day is actually a loss. Normally it works out that Christmas is on one paycheck and New Year's is on another, but this year they both fell within the same pay period, so his upcoming check will have two short days on it.

A few weeks ago I got particularly down and stressed about our finances. I was praying and searching for God's voice on it, and getting very frustrated with myself for not having more faith. I called Robert and asked him if he could come and talk with me about it. One advantage to having my brother as my pastor. :) So he came by, frozen Coke in hand for me since his wife is a sweetheart and suggested it.  Since my mom had stopped by when he showed up and he knew I wouldn't feel comfortable talking in front of her, he asked if she would watch the kids while I ran to Wal-Mart with him. Then we left, and had a lovely talk and some prayer, and he bought me a strainer I was idly admiring at Walmart and picked up my tab at the post office when I went to mail an order out. I felt much better when he dropped me back off. 

We still had no real prospects in sight, but I felt more at peace and sure that God had a plan. Kate had texted me and let me know that their gift for us was in the mail and to keep an eye out for it. It had not arrived by Christmas, but a few days later it came - a check for $2,000! It was enough to pay our bills, including a few to help out on the upcoming payday, as well as buy gas and groceries. We didn't really do anything out of the ordinary with it, other than to buy a new lunch box for Morgan and a few bottles of deeply discounted lotion for me, and take the family out to eat once. Nick and I also got to go out to eat once by ourselves, our fourth date night of the year. :)

At this point we're back to broke, but the bills are paid, there's a little gas left in the car, and we have food in the house. :) And I know that God is still continuing to provide, as He always does!

A few weeks ago I was in a very minor car accident. More of a hit and run, actually. I was on my way to Wednesday night church and somebody swerved into my lane and clipped my driver's side mirror. It's frustrating, because our insurance will only pay after a $200 deductible which is likely higher than we can replace the mirror for, but it could have been so incredibly much worse that I can't complain too bad. No one was hurt, and nothing but the mirror was damaged at all (although it's pretty much toast).

Daisy and Jack have both been battling some intestinal issues lately. Jack has had a number of vomiting episodes, although they have come with no attending symptoms, and almost always after he's been laughing really hard or crying a lot. So I'm thinking he maybe is triggering them with the laughing/crying. Daisy on the other hand is a little more worrisome. 

A few months ago the kids' insurance plan changed networks to one that their longtime pediatrician won't accept. We picked out a new pediatrician (the same one Faith and Robert use and love), but she was not accepting new patients until the new year. Back in September Daisy had a stomachache that went on all day, along with a fever. That was before the insurance change, but it was a Sunday, so the ped's office was closed, and she was in so much pain that she was actually asking to go to the doctor, so I took her to the ER. 

They ended up doing an xray, telling me she was, er, backed up, and giving her an enema. That seemed to do the trick for a day or two, but soon she was in pain again, so I took her to the pediatrician. They just told me to give her laxatives and sent us home. Unfortunately that didn't do anything for her. By the time it became a serious issue again, we were between peds, so back to the ER we went, for the exact same outcome.

Fast forward to a few days before the end of the year, and she was crying in pain again, and vomiting this time. So I took her back to the ER again. This time the xray showed no blockage, so they gave her something for the vomiting and told us to see her pediatrician for a referral to a GI specialist. She has an appointment this Tuesday to go in and get that referral, so please be in prayer that we will be referred to a good one that takes her insurance, and that it will be something easily fixed and not serious. I'm worried that maybe she's developed a food allergy or intolerance, which we've been blessed enough to have never dealt with before, so I'm hoping it's not that, although that would certainly be preferable to something more serious.

Also of note, Jack turned two on the 2nd. Waaah! My tiny baby is growing up on me! We had cake and ice cream at my parents' house, and he went nuts over all the hand me down toys from my cousin that I saved for his birthday. He's definitely his father's son. He's nuts about anything with wheels, and he can figure out anything mechanical in a flash. He got a little tool kit for Christmas with a toy drill and plastic screws, and he was drilling the screws down into the hole with no help whatsoever. The day Robert came over and Mom kept the kids, she turned her back for a minute and caught him on the kitchen table trying to run a piece of fabric through my sewing machine, which he had managed to turn on and start. :) She about had a heart attack!

The other day Nick and I had a small talk about DD. I started to feel really hurt and frustrated and unimportant because he's backed off on a couple of spankings lately, and we didn't really have any acknowledgment of our 10 year DD anniversary on New Year's Eve. But I recognized that I was letting myself spiral, and after some prayer and reasonable conversation with myself I brought it up at a good time and we had a civil conversation about it. He's agreed to try to be more consistent, as well as to help me with some other things like staying on top of going to the gym. 

Anyway, as promised, this was a super long dear diary post all about the last month, and I'm a bit past my bedtime, so I'm off to bed. Good night all!