Up on the Soapbox

It's a fact: there are ignorant people out there. More than a few. I know that there are only a few of you reading right now, because this blog has, temporarily, gone private. The reason for that is the ridiculous article making waves in mainstream media about "Christian Domestic Discipline." 

I told myself I was going to take the needed precautions with our privacy and just go on about life without giving the article another thought, because, no matter how many times I run up against it, that crap makes me MAD! So most of the time I ground myself from browsing the hate-filled comments, because there's nothing I can do to change anyone's mind and I might as well not make myself crazy over it.

But I just have to point out a few things. First of all, the article itself was a joke. I don't know Chelsea and Clint, and they're relatively new to the community, but just a quick look at their site will show you that the relationship portrayed in the piece is not the relationship they have. And they made clear to the reporter that what they practice is not "Christian Domestic Discipline", although you certainly would think differently from her reporting. But plenty of bloggers have dealt with that discrepancy, including Chelsea and Clint, so I'll move on. 

A couple of things really burn my biscuit here:

First of all, the way CDD, or more broadly, DD wives are portrayed. Let's just put aside for a moment the fact that this reporter and the more mainstream media (Huffington Post, Fox  News, The View, for example) are portraying the men we love and adore as abusers. Let's talk about how they make us wives out to be cowed, overly dependent, completely lacking in self esteem, and just plain stupid! 

The clips I saw of it being discussed on the air drew the same kind of hatred and vitriol as I would expect directed toward someone presenting an argument that children are fair game for predators. And not just toward the husbands, but toward the wives too!

Look, there are certainly situations where abusive men use DD or CDD as a vehicle for their rage and abuse. Those men should absolutely be locked up and their wives given help. And in nearly 10 years of the lifestyle, I've run across a few of those situations. But they were by far the exception and not the rule. The women I've met through TTWD are by and far the happiest, smartest, most well rounded, courageous, well put together, and cherished women I know. And I would venture to say that a good 75% of the DD wives I've had contact with were the ones to bring DD to the table. And most of them had to fight for it, myself included!

Here's the second thing: Christian Domestic Discipline. Please don't get me wrong - I don't have a problem with the concept itself, at least not in its entirety, although it doesn't describe what we do in our marriage, and there are aspects of it that I do take issue with. What I have a problem with is the fact that the media and most of the responding readers are taking DD and Christianity and using them to each indict the other. I've read comments along the lines of "This is what's wrong with Christianity - they use God to justify abuse." Or "These people are just playing sex games, and they're trying to dress it up as something else to satisfy their Christian standards."

I want to be clear that I very strongly disagree with the main principle of Christian DD, which I understand to be that a discipline relationship is something that God commands for a marriage. I'm very outspoken about the fact that I'm a Christian. But I don't believe that spanking your wife is a God given right. Do I believe that God commands that the husband be head of the household? Absolutely. Do I believe that the wife should be submissive to the husband? Sure do. But I believe that unless it is something that the wife is on board with, physical discipline is not okay. 

What? Really? Yes, and here's why: God tells us to be submissive to our husbands, but He does not tell our husbands to chastise us, unlike the very clear verses that speak of chastising our children. I believe that God is the one who deals with disciplining both husband and wife for getting out of line. 

So why do I believe that DD is okay then? Because God's command to the husband is to love the wife, and for so very many of us, myself included, that is the very best way they can love us. (Also, if the wife is not consenting to it, then guess what  - that's not loving her as yourself!) Completely outside of DD, Nick is an amazing husband. He's funny and thoughtful and protective, he's a great provider, and a faithful lover. And all of that is awesome. But the fact that he is willing and able to reign me in and settle me down when I need it fills a part of me that I know from experience is empty and untethered without it. 

When I go too long without being spanked I tend to find myself drifting, unfocused and vaguely unsatisfied. This is a part of who I am. I spent a lot of years praying that God would change it about me, not because it was causing me to be "abused", but because I felt like it was a real hassle for Nick. Eventually when I realized that nothing was changing inside me, I began to pray that if God intended for me to have these needs, that He would please bring Nick to a place where it was something he was willing to meet in me. And guess what? He did.

Anyway, I think a lot of the perception problems people have with CDD is that the way it's presented, it takes the consent out of the hands of the one being spanked. And in some situations that's actually the case. And that tends to read as a little "culty". But truthfully, I think that in most CDD marriages, the wife is every bit as on board with it as the husband, if not more. And what it really comes down to is that DD is different for each of us, and we each have to do what works in our individual marriage. If you believe in your heart of hearts that God is commanding you to submit to spankings in your marriage, then you go and live your marriage according to your beliefs! Or if you believe only that God commands you to follow your husband's leading, but spanking adds a richness and dimension to that dynamic, then go forth without a moment's guilt! And if you feel like submitting should never, ever include consequences imposed by your husband, that's okay too. 

I hate having the blog private, and I do appreciate the handful of you out there who are still reading. I just think it's abominable that the reporter put out such a patently false piece, and the rest of the media took it at face value and brought their own torches and pitch forks. I do think that in a few weeks it will be like no one ever heard of this woman, the witch hunt will be over, and we can all come out of hiding.

Thanks for reading.

5479 days ago...

5479 days ago I married my best friend. When I finally stopped trying to run my own life and find the right guy on my own, God allowed me to see what was right in front of me. When I look at him I can see just how very much God must love me to have blessed me with someone so very amazing. He works so hard to provide for our family, and to allow me to be a stay at home mom to the crazy awesome kids he gave me. He is a strong leader, a faithful husband, and a caring father. All those little girl dreams of a someday husband never came close to imagining the man who would wait for me at the end of the aisle in that little country church 15 years ago. I love you, Nick, forever and ever. 

Going private (for a while)

Guys, for a little while, anyway, I'm going private. If you're getting this in your RSS feed, shoot me an email and I'll send you an invite. I really feel like all the uproar over the news articles will die down soon and we can all get back to normal. But for the time being I have no wish to share our personal choice with anyone who isn't already privy to them. 

Prayers for a precious little one.

Been praying for Christina and Jim's little girl, guys. I know they'd appreciate it if you would do the same.

Camp

You guys - camp was amazing! We had 51 kids there, and let me tell you, God showed up in a big way! We had 14 saved, and one called to preach. And about those 14 - number 13 was on Friday morning, and it was Morgan's best friend Lola, which was awesome. Now Morgan made a profession of faith a couple of years ago. That said, my girl has just not shown any evidence that it was real for her. I love her with my whole heart, but she's been a pretty tough to handle preteen attitude-wise, and she's shown less than no interest in church or anything spiritual. Nick and I (as well as her grandparents, aunts, and uncles) have been praying hard for her for a long time, just waiting for God to really get a hold of her.

Friday night after the service she came to me, just generally upset about things in her life that make her unhappy, not really anything specific, but I had an idea that God was working on her heart. She insisted that yes, she was saved, but she really seemed to be trying to convince herself as well as me. I told her that only she and God know her heart, and that if she said that was the case, then I would take her word for it. I spent some time just telling her how much God loves her, and that it seems like she had been running from Him. I told her that I don't know His will for her life, but I could promise that if she would just surrender to Him, He has so many amazing things in store for her. At that point she kind of eased her way out of the conversation, and I could just see the conviction in her. But it was not the time to push, so I let her walk away, and I just kept praying. 

About 4 hours later, all the campers were in bed, and Robert, Nick, Grant, and one of the other counselors were all hanging out with me in my cabin, discussing the week. Suddenly we heard someone outside, then we heard Faith say (through the screen window), "We have some good news!" A few seconds later she ushered Morgan and Lola into the cabin. Morgan was crying so hard she could barely talk, but she managed to tell me that she had asked the Lord to come into her heart and given her whole life to Him! Hallelujah and praise God! This child was broken in the Spirit, something that was very much missing two years ago, and my heart just soared! 

There could not have been a better end to the week, and I'm amazed at the change in her in just the few days since it happened! There were so many kids who met with Jesus while we were there, and time and time again our counselors walked up on impromptu prayer meetings - young people going to God because they wanted to, not because it was on the schedule! 

Sadly my friend Ann didn't get to spend the week with me after all, mostly due to some medical issues, but she did get to come up for the service a couple of times. Even without her though, I had a great time, and we're literally counting down the days till next year!

Busy weekend, busier week

You guys left me such sweet comments on my last post - it really lifted my heart! Thank you!

We did indeed go to the lake on Friday. We weren't sure we would get to as the weather forecast looked pretty rainy. But we had a really lovely few hours, and by the time it started turning cloudy the littles were ready to head home anyway. 

Friday night our church held an all night prayer meeting for the upcoming youth camp. They asked people to sign up to come and pray for 15 minute shifts. Nick and I hadn't signed up, mainly because we weren't sure what to do with the kids that late. But as the day wore on we really felt like we should try to go in and do our part. Nick texted Robert to ask what shifts were still open, and he texted back that they needed people for 4:45, 5:00, 5:15, 5:30, 5:45, 6:00, and 6:15. Sigh. But honestly, we're young and healthy, and there was really no good reason to skip it. Robert and Faith, along with Brandon and Melanie were there all night to fill in where there was no one signed up. So I asked Nick if I could stay up and edit pictures from the lake while he napped on the couch for a while. He agreed, and I woke him at 4:00 in the morning for his shift. 

He went in and did his turn, and he got back about 5:45 and stayed with the kids so could go. I got there about 6:10, and my sweet parents were there at the alter, heads bowed. I went up and began to pray. I heard my dad get up about 6:15, but when I finished at 6:30, my mom was still praying. But she was near the back of the church, stopping at each pew to pray for by name the families who sat in each different pew every week. I'm so very blessed with my parents. We've not always gotten along (namely those years when I knew it all lol), but my heart just fills up with how much they love me and my little family.

Saturday we naturally slept late, and it was nice to snuggle up with my husband for longer than usual. After a while we got up and headed up to the cabin for the June birthday party. It's always a sweet time up there, although to be honest Jack was ALL OVER the place, which stressed Nick's grandmother out, which stressed Nick out, which stressed ME out. Plus Daisy was down on the dock fishing with Grant, and she fell in. Thank God Grant dove in after her and got her out in a flash! It was very scary though, and I was just about at the end of my rope.

Eventually I stuck Jack in the car and just took off for a little while. The cabin is close to a very quaint, very old town, so I drove around a bit until Jack fell asleep, then went back to the cabin. Once back, I took him to a spare bedroom to try to prolong the nap, and ended up falling asleep with him. By the time I woke up it was nearly time to leave, and I was ready to be home myself by them. 

Sunday morning I was exhausted, so I sent Nick to church without me. I skipped the evening service as well because I was still packing everything for camp. I don't like to miss church, but I'm about to head into a week of twice a day services, and I really did have to get everything put together. 

Camp starts in about 12 hours, and there's no internet service out there, even on my phone, so I'll be out of contact until Saturday evening. We covet your prayers this week as we work to minister to young hearts.

Love you guys!

God's blessings

This week is a real struggle for us financially. Nick and I are both stressing a bit, and I know that when that happens, the best thing for us to do is stop and pray, and praise God for His many blessings. We've already done the stop and pray part, so I just want to put it out here how very much God already has blessed us lately.

The biggest blessing was of course that Nick passed both of his ASE tests on Thursday. But it didn't end there - on Friday I got a text from Nick with some great news! That morning he went in to his immediate manager to give him the paperwork showing he passed the tests, then went back to his work area. A few minutes later his manager called him back in and told him that he had been looking back over the shops records and 1) Nick is always, always, always the workhorse of the team, consistently pulling in more hours than anyone else, and 2) that he (the manager) has been keeping a book of every car that came back because of a technician's mistake, and Nick has not had one single entry! Because of this, he is getting a 50¢/hour raise!

This is especially significant, because no one at the shop has had a raise in 5 years. Once upon a time passing each test netted you 25 cents on the hour, but that has not been the case for a very long time. In fact, several very good employees have gone and asked for raises several times over the last year, and they've all been turned down, so he wasn't expecting anything.

And almost more than the money, I appreciate the fact that they've acknowledged just how hard a worker and how valuable an employee he is to them! I know just how much he's worth, and a 50¢ raise doesn't begin to encompass it, but it's definitely high praise in this economy, and I'm so proud of him!

Another blessing was that my mom and dad brought by a few things today. They're forever showing up with a couple gallons of milk (the kids go through about a gallon a day) along with fruit, mac n cheese, bread, whatever they think we might need (this is something we never ask them to do btw). But today, along with the milk, they brought a new pair of capris for me (I never get new clothes - wheee!), two lovely dresses for Daisy, and a brand new Costco membership card for me!

We used to have a Sam's Club membership that we renewed when we could afford it. But it expired last year right around Christmas, and we just didn't have the extra. They built a Costco in our city sometime last year, and we were kind of considering going with them instead. In fact, Nick and I took a tour of the facility a few weeks ago, and we were impressed with what we saw. The main issue though was that the membership cost $100, as opposed to Sam's which cost $40, and we really couldn't afford either one.

A few weeks ago one of the daily deal sites offered Costco memberships for $50 each, and it came with $50 worth of fabulous coupons, several for completely free products. I knew we couldn't do it right then, even with the discounted price, but I called my mom to tell her about it, since she had shown some interest in maybe getting a membership herself. She called me the next day and told me that she had purchased a membership for each of us, and that the cards should be coming shortly! I'm so excited about it!

Let's see, what else? My parents have a pontoon boat they got for a good price from a friend a few years ago. It's been ages since we went out on it, a couple of years at least. Friday Nick is off and we're going to take the kids out on it and make a day of it - something we're really looking forward to! The next day is Nick's family's annual June birthday gathering at the cabin up at the lake. I actually thought it was this past Saturday and that we'd missed it, so I was relieved to find out it's this week.

I think this year's party will have a tinge of sadness to it. It's the first since Nick's papaw passed away, and he was always such a big part of it. The cabin actually belonged to him and Nick's grandmother, and he spent just about every warm day that wasn't a Sunday up there fishing. Nick's grandmother is also one of the ones celebrating a birthday this month, and it will be her first as a widow. And Nick's dad's birthday is the day after hers, so I think it will be a bit sad for him too to have it without his dad, not to mention the proximity to Father's Day.

Two days after the birthday gathering we will be leaving for church camp! We're really excited about this! We're bringing 13 kids just with us, and Morgan is really stoked to have so many of her friends there with her. And speaking of friends, my best friend Ann is going to stay the whole week with me! Her two boys are going as campers, and she decided to tag along and share a cabin with me, Daisy, and Jack. I can't even tell you how excited about this I am! It's been 15 years since we had a sleepover, and I could sure use the girl time!

Anyway, as you can see God has been so very good to us, and I have so much to praise Him for! I would really appreciate your prayers for my sweet husband (and for me!), because as obvious as God's provisions for us are, we're still quite human, and sometimes we let the stress get to us. Also, Nick's hands are still unimproved, so that's still something we're praying about as well.

Anyway, I'm off to bed - good night all!

Hooray!

You guys - he passed BOTH tests! And I can't even tell you what an obvious God thing this was. Not saying anything at all bad about Nick, but he just did NOT have as much time as he needed to study. At. All. In fact, he only got to crack the study book on the second test yesterday. And these tests are hard! Not only is the material complicated, but the questions are purposely confusing. Perhaps that's to make sure the test takers are really using their investigative skills, but I'm more inclined to think that it's because if you pass they refund ALL of your money. Yep - his whole $98 is coming back to him, which means he can use it to register for the next two tests!

Thank you so much to those of you who stopped to pray - it really helped! The kids and I stopped what we were doing every half hour and prayed for him during the testing, and he was sure praying all the way through!

God is so good!

*Edited to correct myself - I was confused on the refund issue. Nick just let me know he will get reimbursed, but it will come from work, not the testing company. 

Just a quick request...

I would really appreciate it if those of you who pray would send up a prayer for Nick today. He will be taking his ASE tests this evening, and he's really nervous about them. Thank you!

Catching up

I hope you all had a great Memorial Day! We didn't really do anything on the day of because Nick had to work (boo!), but on Saturday we joined a good friend of his for a family cookout/camp out by the river. The kids had a blast, and we all really enjoyed ourselves. 

Daisy rocked her new hot pink tankini from Aunt Kate, Morgan made a few new friends, and this guy ran and ran and ran and picked up and threw every ball he came across. We usually get his hair cut every couple of weeks but Nana (Nick's stepmom, who cuts our hair) was on vacation last week, so he missed a cut. I think I'm going to have her start leaving it a little longer on top, because this fuzzy baby head charmed people for miles around, his mama included!

My parents unexpectedly took the girls overnight tonight, so after Nick got off work we went and had dinner using a gift card he got as a tenure gift from work. Money is crazy tight right now, so this was a really neat blessing, and I loved the time with just my guys.

Nick's hands are still not healed, but I got that spanking tonight. It turns out that his left (dominant) hand is not nearly as bad, and his problem is more with his pinch grip than his ability to hold onto something (like a paddle) with his whole hand. Either way, he was plenty able to get his point across.

When he was ready for bed he asked me if I was ready for the spanking, and after minimal hemming and hawing I obeyed and followed him upstairs. He pulled out one of the paddles he made - this one:

He had me bend over the bed, and he gave me 51 over my jeans (because he seems to think "one to grow on" is not just for birthday spankings). He spanked hard, as always, but I managed to stay in place through the whole thing. Then as he was putting the paddle back in the chest he spotted a riding crop and gave me one quick hard lick with it, just because he "hadn't used it in a while."

Afterwards, he apologized for making me wait so long, and I apologized for making him need to do it at all, and we snuggled up till he fell asleep, which is where I'm headed now, because it's bedtime!

Temporarily Handicapped

My friend Elizabeth posted this as her Facebook status and tagged her husband the other day. She's one of my very few friends that I've ever talked to about spanking (although in less than explicit detail), and I knew she was kind of into it. But it amused me to see her put it out there like that.

Around here all the implements are getting a bit dusty, but I've been promised a spanking on the serious side of things, mostly having to do with my seeming inability to follow through and finish some of my chores. I'm great at getting started, but I have a tendency to leave the clean laundry neatly folded on the chair in the living room rather than putting it away, and the kitchen table got stalled about 15 minutes away from being completely clean.

Right now though Nick is experiencing a curious inability to spank. I think I've mentioned that he got a ridiculously nice road bike from Kate and Will for Christmas, and he rides it a lot, especially now that the weather is getting warm. A couple of years ago when Kate and Will sold their lake house, they got rid of the (very nice) mountain bikes they had there by sending them home from Texas with Grant and Kelly. Will's had needed a little bit of repair work done, so they've sat unused in Grant and Kelly's basement. Some of Nick's coworkers are really into mountain biking, so Nick asked Grant if he would bring the bikes to us so Nick could see about repairing them, and maybe borrow one to use to go riding with some of the guys from work. 

Yesterday was their first ride, and Nick had a lot of fun, although he said it was much harder than he expected. Unfortunately he sustained some sort of injury to his hands, likely to do with gripping the handlebars too tightly during the constant jarring, and he's got very little grip strength in them right now. It's bad enough that it takes real effort for him to turn the key to start his truck. 

We've done the research online, and it seems to be a pretty common injury for beginner mountain bikers, with the prescription just being time and rest. So no more biking for a few days, and certainly no spanking. While I'm glad enough to put off a punishment, I'd really appreciate your prayers that he heals quickly. He's fortunately not in any pain, but just the inability to hold a grip could pose a real problem when he goes back to work on Monday. 

Anyway, that's what's going on around these parts. Hope things are going well for you guys!

A minute to breathe

I feel like it's been forever since I've put up a real post. It's just been so busy here. But right now Jack (sweet, busy, unstoppable, into-everything-even-stuff-you-didn't-know-you-had Jack) is passed out asleep on the couch, Morgan is at school, Daisy is painting a picture in the kitchen, the ground beef for supper is thawing in the microwave, and there's a load of laundry in both the washer and the dryer. So I'm going to sit down for a minute with my big tumbler of sweet tea and blog for a -

***We interrupt this peaceful moment to bring you the following real life sequence of events: Daisy got done painting and wanted a bath urgently. At this point my mom called to chat. Approximately one minute into the conversation Daisy got too impatient to wait any longer for her bath, so she began frantically yelling from the kitchen and leaning on the baby gate, which immediately fell, and the resulting crash woke Jack. I got off the phone with my mom, got Daisy in the bath, and got a fresh bottle for Jack, who of course showed zero interest in going back to sleep at this point. He wanted nothing more in life than to sit on my lap and drink his milk. So I attempted to pick the computer back up, but he wasn't having it, and at this point I could see Morgan walking home from the bus stop, so I had to go unlock the front door for her. 

She came in and started rummaging for a snack. She brought me our sole carton of strawberry yogurt and asked if she could have it, which Daisy heard from the bathroom and began loudly demanding that she wanted it for herself. She's honestly not usually this rude and demanding, but I guess every three year old has a selfish day now and then. I asked Morgan if she would rather have a brownie instead of the yogurt, which she was happy to do. 

This is when Daisy decided she needed out of the tub, so Morgan went and got her out for me since I had Jack. When Daisy followed Morgan to the living room wrapped in a towel and saw Morgan with the last of the brownies she decided to try to rip them out of her sister's hands. I immediately stopped her and made her apologize.***

 That's been up to the last few minutes. Currently Jack has allowed Morgan to settle him down with his bottle and blanket on the other couch, Morgan is playing music on her iPad, and Daisy is climbing back and forth from the back of the chair to the stairs. 

Me? I'm just trying not to attract any of their attention. I know that this is one of the hardest seasons of parenting, and just knowing that makes it a little easier. But I'm pretty stressed and exhausted these days. Nick has started going on bike rides after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Wednesday nights we have church, and of course all day on Sunday. Saturdays if he's off, he's busy doing things like working on cars or taking off the trash, or mowing the yard, all things I understand and appreciate. He's also studying for his ASE tests right now, which takes up the rest of his free time, and it's absolutely essential that he has this time to prepare.

The truth of it though is that I'm seriously needing some down time.

***Just got back from cleaning up the mostly full cup of strawberry yogurt, which Daisy left on the entertainment center and Jack dumped completely upside down on the floor, splattering the whole side of the couch in the process.***

Money has been very tight lately, but what I wouldn't give for $25 and a whole kid free day to spend thrift store hopping! Less expensively, but no less costly, I know I could use a good spanking, but it's not in me to ask right now, and Nick has enough to deal with as it is. 

***Pause to put Jack's diaper back on.***

I'm not managing my time or my stress very well, although I have been sticking with my bedtime pretty closely, at least as far as actually getting in bed.

***Pause to put Jack's diaper back on again. Try to locate the ringing cordless phone. Try to locate the no longer ringing cordless phone. Page the phone. Find it in my pocket. Call my mom back. Pass the phone to Morgan and try unsuccessfully to convince Jack and Daisy that the other couch would be much more comfortable than Mommy's lap. Change Jack's diaper. Watch helplessly as Daisy knocks my Macbook off the couch. Get up and go put Jack on the other couch. Daisy runs off to try to climb the baby gate in front of the stairs. Jack gets up to join her. ***

On another topic, did everyone have a nice Mother's Day? Mine was good. Nick took us out to lunch after church, and Morgan helped me cook the hamburgers that night for dinner. I made all the gifts this year. Excuse my crappy photo backdrops - I was just trying to grab a few quick shots before bedtime the night before:

Infinity scarves for Mom and Nick's stepmom.

 Burlap wreath with handmade flowers for Nick's stepmom.

 Burlap wreath with handmade flowers for Mom using the fabrics from her kitchen makeover.

 You are my sunshine canvas art for Kelly.

 Upcycled mason jar vases for Mom (the blue one) and Nick's stepmom (clear).

***Pause to put Jack's diaper on......again, this time a fresh one.***

Pillow covers (I made one for both) for Faith and Melanie who are both due end of November/beginning of December.

***Pause to run upstairs to retrieve Jack, who bypassed the baby gate by wriggling through the banister.***

I sent Kate this leather and suede banner (which can also be found in my shop).

***Pause to get Jack down from the surround sound box and reset the controls so that the TV works again. Run to the kitchen to retrieve the bottle he tossed through the window.***

Not pictured was Nick's grandmother's gift, which consisted of a set of 16 blank notecards similar to these:

Source

Except mine were bigger and a little more elaborate. I used hearts, flowers, and butterflies, and each one was unique with multiple shapes. I made her some for Christmas, and she asked me if she could buy some more from me (like I'm going to charge her). 

***Pause for Jack to climb up on my lap and shove his whole hand in my mouth.***

I also included a 3x5 magnet of Jack (free from Shutterfly) three singed satin poppy pins, and three 8x10 photo collages (free from Walgreens), one of my kids, one of Kelly's baby, and one of Kate's kids. I packaged everything but the 8x10s up in a handmade felt zipper pouch. 

We gave her stuff to her on Friday. We all had hair appointments with Nick's stepmom, and she always has the appointment right before us, so I knew we'd see her then. Speaking of hair appointments, I got mine cut short (which I always end up doing come spring), and we got Daisy's cut too. This was her first major haircut. It's just above her shoulders, and it's SO CUTE!.

In other news, I've got these in my shop now:

***Pause to answer the phone, which Daisy has just taken away from Jack. It was my mom calling to let me know that Jack had managed to turn the phone on and dial her.***

And it's now a solid three hours since I started this blog post, so I'm going to say goodbye and try to get dinner done before Nick gets home from his bike ride.

Guess what!

I'm over at Heart and Soul today! Come check it out!

40 Questions

I was looking back through my archives and found this survey. So, obviously I've posted it before, but it was 8 years ago, so I'm pretty sure most readers haven't seen it, and a few of my answers have changed anyway. Feel free to copy if you'd like!

40 question survey

1. Have you ever finished off the popcorn and ate the junk from the bottom of the bag? Nope! I'm not really a fan of microwave popcorn. I generally need my popcorn to have caramel or white cheddar, or if I'm really lucky chocolate AND caramel!

2. Have you ever had sex in a tent? Yes. I'm fairly certain Morgan was conceived in one. :)

3. Have you ever had a secret crush on a teacher? Yes, although I didn't recognize it as a crush at the time.

4. Do you own more than 100 cd's? Nope. We have maybe 10, but we've got several thousand songs on iTunes. This survey is showing its age lol.

5. Have you ever been so drunk that you have passed out? Yes, a few times, but not in many many years. My entire drinking career spanned a few months when we first got married. I never tasted alcohol until I was married, but I wanted to know what all the fuss was about, so with Nick there to take care of me I indulged a few times. It only took once getting really, really sick followed by a nasty hangover the next day to convince me that there were better things to waste my money on.

6. Have you ever dated a goth? No.

7. Have you ever regretted a date? Yes.

8. Have you ever seen a ghost/ufo? No/no.

9. Have you ever done anything you could be arrested for? Yes.

10. Have you ever done anything you could go to jail for? Not unless they took skinny dipping REALLY seriously.

11. Have you ever broken a bone? I broke my wrist when I was five.

12. Have you ever crashed a car? Yes, a few times, although only once seriously.

13. Have you ever fallen off a bike? Yes - a very painful and dramatic memory of when I was six. I wiped out in our driveway and cut my knee pretty badly. My mom had company over and was less hysterically alarmed than I thought she should be, so outraged and indignant, I swore immediately that I would not ride again until I was seven. I pushed my bike into the garage, leaned it against the wall, and didn't touch it again until my seventh birthday, when I climbed on it and ventured out again. I try to remember that story these days when Morgan is red-lining on the drama meter.

14. Have you ever refused a date because of what your friends might think? No.

15. Have you ever listened to a song and cried? Yes. "Still in Love with You" by Brooks and Dunn tore me apart when I was 16 and the object of my unrequited desire was graduating high school and going off to college. I run into him occasionally these days at alumni functions, and I can't imagine what I ever saw in him. 

16. Have you ever seen your favorite band/singer perform live? Yes! We saw Metallica in Nashville.

17. Have you ever been found sleep walking? No.

19. Have you ever watched a Tomb Raider movie without being aroused at some point? Yes. Once upon a time I thought Angeline Jolie was pretty hot stuff, and she's certainly still beautiful, but I'm not really aroused by women. Indiana Jones on the other hand...

20. Have you ever dated someone a decade older than you? No.

21. Would you date someone a decade older than you? No, but only because I'm happily married (incidentally to a man 18 months younger than me). If I were single I wouldn't have a problem with a 10 year age difference.

22. Have you ever sent a prank call or email? No.

23. Have you ever been pregnant or gotten someone pregnant? Yes.

24. If not, would you like children? I love my children madly, but unless God has some crazy plan I don't know about, we're all done.

27. Have you ever had major surgery? One outpatient surgery.

28. Are you afraid of the dentist? Not so much afraid - I just hate going.

29. Do you have a tattoo? Yes.

30. Have you had any piercings done (not including the ears)? I've had my belly button pierced.

31. Have you ever been pooped on from the sky? I'm going to have to go with no on this one. But as a mother of three I've been pooped on from ground level a time or two.

32. Do you like scary movies? Not horror movies of the Jason and Freddie genre, but I love to watch psycho-thrillers with Nick right beside me.

33. Do you like your job? I LOVE my job!

34. Do you get along with your parents? Most of the time. My mom and I occasionally get on each other's nerves, but I was just telling Nick the other day how as the years have gone by we've become better and better friends. It's a rare day when I don't at least talk to her on the phone 2 or 3 times.

35. Do you still have all your grand parents? No. My last one passed away 5 years ago.

36. Have you ever had a date with someone you met online? No.

37. Do you ever wish you could relive your childhood? High school, maybe - knowing what I know now. But probably not.

38. Have you ever beat up your computer? No, but I've been tempted.

39. Have you ever watched The Goonies more than twice in a day? No. I'm notorious for never having seen numerous old movies (E.T., Dirty Dancing, any of the Star Wars movies, for example). My parents never took us to the movies when I was growing up for whatever reason, and we didn't have cable until I was almost out of high school (and then only basic cable - no movie channels). I did, however, finally watch The Goonies with Nick, but I've only seen it the once.

40. Have you ever wondered why you fill this crap in time after time? I'm kind of a sucker for memes.

Yes or No Meme

This one came from Bas, Sunny, PK, and about 50 other people, so I'm jumping on. :)

Have you ever:

Shot a gun?  Yes
Watched someone die?  No
Served on a jury?  No, but I was called once. They excused me though because Morgan was a baby, and I worked nights, so I was the only one there to watch her during the day.
Flown on a plane?  Yes
Swam in the ocean?  Yes
Cried yourself to sleep?  Yes
Been camping in a trailer/RV? Yes
Rode on an elephant?   No, but I watched James ride one at the zoo when he was about 2.
Rode on a camel?  No
Been lost?  Yes
Eaten just cookies or cake for dinner?  Yes
Been on TV?  No, well unless you count congregation shots of our old church, whose services used to be aired locally.
Been on the Radio?  Yes, once when I requested a song for Nick.
Been in a car accident?  Yes, probably close to a dozen, although most were not my fault, I wasn't driving in all of them, and only one was serious.
Donated Blood?  Yes
Got a speeding ticket within the last 12 mos.?  No
Gotten a piercing (not ears)?  Yes, I had my belly button pierced many years ago before we were married, but it came out when I started showing in my pregnancy with Morgan.
Gotten a tattoo?  Yes
Flew in a hot air balloon?  No, but I've always wanted to.
Flew in a helicopter?  No, but again I always wanted to. Nick was going to have us taken up for a trip over the mountains several years ago around our anniversary, but the weather turned nasty.
Gone parasailing?  No, but it always looks like great fun.
Been on a jet ski, snowmobile or dune buggy?  Yes, a jet ski. I've never even seen a snowmobile - we never get enough snow here to warrant one. And I've never ridden in a dune buggy, but I rode in numerous go karts as a kid.
 

The Party

So we had The Slumber Party. And for the most part it went very well. There ended up being 9 girls in all counting Morgan and Daisy, which ended up being the perfect number. 

The girls flipped over the zipper pouches and hair bows, and they had a blast making the bottle cap pins, glass stone magnets, tie dye shirts, and canvas bags. My mom had balloons and streamers, and a gorgeous food table set up. She got some great gifts (almost all of them One Direction themed, which was just fine with her!), and they had fun playing her One Direction trivia game.

The crafts stretched out until almost 2 AM, at which point we left the life center and went over to one of the Sunday School rooms for a photo shoot. Two of the guests were the granddaughters of a very sweet old man in our church who runs the video camera recording all the services. He also takes the pictures for our church directory, and he's had his backdrop and lights set up there at church for months. He very nicely gave me permission to use them to do a shoot with the girls, and they ate it up!

After the photo shoot I set them up with the first movie (I rented Parental Guidance and Diary of a Wimpy Kid). There was a small amount of drama surrounding one particular girl (we'll call her Allison). She had caused a little bit of an argument earlier in the evening too. Allison is a mostly latchkey kid. She's an only child, her mom and stepdad both work jobs that have frequent overnight shifts, and she spends a lot of nights alone in her house - not exactly an ideal situation for a 12 year old girl. 

She can be really abrasive and overbearing, but to me at least it seems fairly obvious that it comes from constantly searching for attention, and she really is a sweet kid underneath. A couple of months ago on the bus she tripped and landed on a boy sitting down. He shoved her, she shoved him back, and he punched her in the face and bloodied her nose! A boy did this! But the real outrage was that the bus driver didn't do anything at all other than to call the boy an idiot! For the next few weeks, every time she got on the bus, most of the kids would pull their shirts up over their faces, hiding their eyes from her "ugliness" until she would sit down and one of the little monsters would give the all clear. (This story honestly makes me angrier and angrier every time I think about it. It makes me think I could put a few of those paddles upstairs to some very good use!). Anyway, she finally reported it to the principal (since the bus driver wasn't doing anything about it), and Morgan went with her to sign a incident witness report. The school sent it to the police department as a bullying incident, and I don't think there's been a problem since. 

Anyway, Morgan is a friend to her, but she can be pretty hard to deal with sometimes, and Morgan didn't want to invite her to the party. I made it a very strong suggestion that she include her on the guest list, and despite the few random moments of friction, I'm glad we included her.

Saturday morning my mom let me sleep for a few hours while she made breakfast - chicken and biscuits and pancakes. When I got up we made the hair clips along with some door hangers my mom had come up with, and by then the parents had started to show up. That's when I started looking for my keys...

And looking, and looking, and looking! I couldn't find my keys anywhere! I finally had to call Nick to come and bring me a spare, and when he came we kept looking. We tore the place apart, even rooms we hadn't been in. We called the two girls who had already left and had them check their bags in case they had gotten scooped up by mistake, and we had all the girls still there go through their things. After 3 and 1/2 hours (!) of searching we gave up and finally had to admit that it looked like someone had taken them. 

I'll be perfectly honest, we all thought Allison had taken them. She didn't want to go home (she rode with me), and she was really the only one there who would have done such a thing. Also, in the course of looking for them, one of the other girls checked Allison's purse and found the phone charger that another girl was missing. (Of course it's entirely possible Allison thought it was hers and put it in there). On the way home I assured all the girls in the car (3 plus Daisy and Morgan) that if someone had taken them as a joke they wouldn't get in trouble, but I really needed them back. Just before I dropped them off I told them that if they came across them it would be great if they would just drop them in our mailbox.

Sunday at church we all looked again, but no luck. It was seriously stressing me out! There were keys to both of our vehicles, and the house, not to mention that $24 key chain I got spanked over!

Allison usually comes over in the mornings to wait for the bus with  Morgan, so I was hoping she would drop the keys in the mailbox when she came. But when I went to get the mail there was nothing there but bills. Then this afternoon my mom called. She was putting up some of the craft supplies she brought, and there in the bottom of the bag were my keys! 

Talk about relieved! And very glad that none of us had actually come out and accused Allison! Still, I called her and told her that we'd found them and thanked her for helping us all look on Saturday. :)

Anyway, that was our weekend. I hope yours was great!

Birthday Week (and a non-birthday spanking)

We're having a very busy week here. Yesterday was Nick's and Morgan's birthday! Nick turned 34, and Morgan is now a great big 12 years old! Tuesday night Nick's dad and stepmom came over and brought pizza and cake to celebrate since we had church last night. Yesterday afternoon Morgan's best friend Lola and her family took Morgan out for ice cream, and after church Nick took us all out for dinner with part of his birthday money.

Today we went out to Kelly and Grant's house so I could do Logan's 6 month pictures, and Kelly fixed us all dinner. Tomorrow is Morgan's big birthday party! We don't really do "friend" parties much around these parts, but 12 is a big year - almost a teenager! I wanted it to be memorable for her, so she's having her first ever slumber party.

We're actually holding it at our church, because we don't have the room to accommodate a dozen or so preteen girls. Everybody is bringing pillows and sleeping bags, and they'll camp out in the church nursery. We've chosen that room because there is a bathroom, not to mention a flat screen TV with a built in DVD player for the movies. :)

I've got big plans for the night - besides the movie(s), the girls will tie-dye tshirts, make hair bows, make bottle cap pins, and make glass stone magnets, and decorate canvas bags. They'll also each pick out a pearl and wire combination for me to make them a ring. I've made an assortment of boutique bows and zipper pouches for them to also take home as party favors. We'll have pizza, chips, popcorn, and quesadillas for dinner, and pancakes for breakfast. 

The best part is that I don't have very much money in any of it. I bought $6 worth of printed felt for the zipper pouches, and $3 in supplies for the bottle cap pins. My mom is providing the canvas bags, and the rest of the craft supplies I had on hand already. I did buy a $6 box of clips for the hair bows because I didn't have enough to do them all, but most of them will end up being used for bows to put in my Etsy shop. And I'll have to buy a pack of magnets for the glass stone magnet project, but with a Hobby Lobby coupon it will be less than $5. All in all I'll have less than $20 in favors and supplies.

My biggest expense will be the pizza and drinks, but my mom provided all the rest of the food. The guest list has been kind of fluid. I initially told her she could invite 10 girls, but she came up with 13 she couldn't choose between. 6 of those weren't able to make it, so she added 3 more, and we're back at 10. Daisy is incredibly excited about it all, and she can't wait for "Sissy's party". 

Nick will hang out with Jack for the night, and my mom and dad are spending the night at the church with me to help me supervise/cook.

I got spanked Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I was already in trouble for not doing the chores he told me to do on Friday. But I made it worse by staying up late Monday night. Nick fell asleep on the couch, which is not entirely uncommon. What was uncommon was that he woke up at 4:30 in the morning Tuesday morning to find me sitting on the other couch on the computer. I wasn't exactly trying to disobey him, but I admit that I wasn't trying too hard to obey him either. I guess I just figured that since he hadn't really been making a big deal out of the curfew he maybe didn't feel that strongly about it, and I have to confess that I didn't really think I'd get caught. 

Anyway, he was furious, which caught me a little off guard, but I very quickly realized that I had gotten myself in deeper trouble. At that point he just wanted to go to bed for a couple of hours before work, and he told me he wasn't going to deal with me right then - the implication being that he would certainly be dealing with me later.

Later turned out to be just after midnight Wednesday morning, just into his birthday. I was pretty nervous about this one. I actually came right out and asked him not to spank me, something I never do. With his belt in hand he calmly listed all the reasons he was going to spank me anyway, then proceeded to do just that. 

To be honest, I was relieved when he picked up his belt instead of opening the toy chest to get the new paddle. Not that the belt doesn't hurt, but wood is generally a lot more painful. But this time he really put his back into it. I almost always get spanked bending over or laying on the bed, which puts me right in front of the dresser mirror, and it sure looked like he was swinging as hard as he could. It certainly felt like it. He always spanks hard, but direct disobedience is a hard line for him, and I've never been spanked so hard with a belt. I shudder to think what it would have been like if he'd used the paddle and pulled down my jeans and panties.

After it was over I cried and pouted a bit, then curled up beside him, and he held me for a while. Eventually I asked him why he'd decided not to use the new paddle, and he said "What new paddle?" Apparently he'd missed my last blog post, lucky for me.

Anyway, it's almost my bedtime, and I'm not about to miss it, so I'll say goodnight!

A great deal on a bad idea...

I used to buy spanking toys all the time. I couldn't walk down the kitchen aisle at, well anywhere, without snagging a wooden spoon or a silicone spatula. The Dollar Tree especially was a treasure trove of inexpensive pervertibles, and Walmart's cosmetics and toiletries department seldom failed me. But not these days. A part of it of course is that I don't really have the money for non essentials a great deal of the time, but mostly it's that well, we have just about everything we can think of. I don't have a tawse, or a loopy johnny (and don't want one thank you very much), but we're really pretty much full up with the sort of implements we're likely to use.

But Friday I came across something I couldn't pass up (although I very probably should have, and I'm sure I'll live to regret it soon enough). I had stopped in at our local Goodwill in hopes of finding Nick some decent shorts to wear. The weather has finally turned warm here, and just the other day he went through every pair he owns only to discover that every last one of them is way too big on him now! He's lost about 50 pounds now, and he's definitely seeing a difference.

Anyway, no luck on the shorts that day; but my mom had given Daisy a couple of dollars so that she could shop, so we ended up in the toy section. And that's where I saw this:

If you'll look closely at that last picture you'll notice the 50¢ price tag. Like an idiot I brought this thing home. It's currently upstairs in our toy chest, although I don't anticipate it staying there for long. The same day I bought it I ended up staying out running errands longer than I meant to, and I came home to a very angry husband doing the chores I was told to get finished while he was at work. Robert and Faith were coming over for dinner and a movie, and were due to arrive at any time.

We managed to get the house looking mostly respectable before they arrived, but that night in bed when I apologized for not having things done, Nick told me we would be taking care of it later. I asked and was assured that I'll be getting spanked. I just hope that if the new paddle comes out he'll let me keep my jeans - I'm not sure I'll be able to stay put if he doesn't. Either way I deserve it, and I'm going to do my best to cooperate.

I'll leave you with this sweet picture of Jack watching his daddy mow the yard a couple of weeks ago. :)

Jokari Auction

I have a love/hate relationship with our Jokari paddle. But it's one of Nick's favorites, it's always effective, and it makes a sturdy and well crafted addition to our toy box. I got ours off Ebay 8 years ago, and I think it was about $10 plus shipping, which was a pretty good deal for it. Well, right now there's an Ebay auction here for a lot of 4 of them. Bidding runs through tomorrow, and right now it's at $9.99 plus shipping (roughly another $10) for all four. If this wasn't birthday week for Nick and Morgan I'd buy them and send them out to my favorite bloggers, because heaven knows we don't need another one! The rubber grips on three of them look pretty rough, but they could be easily removed. Anyway, it's a great deal, and I wanted to pass it along - I hope one of you gets it!

                 

I know, I know, I just posted!

But I recently got back in touch with my friend Joannie of Joannie Discusses DD, and I wanted to mention her forum Joannie and Friends. I don't maintain a link list on this blog for personal reasons (which you can read about here if you'd like), but I think Joannie's blog and forum are both invaluable resources for all DDers, but especially those starting out, and it's worth stepping outside my own policy for. I don't get to frequent the forum much these days just because of a lack of time, but once upon a time I was there every day, poring over every new post and finding myself over and over in other members. Prior to opening her own forum Joannie was very active on the SpankSpot sites, associated with Bethany's Woodshed, for which she still writes. (By the way, the link to her fiction store is at the bottom of my sidebar, and she's a terrific writer! PK, you might even see if she has something she'd be willing to donate to Fantasy Fridays.)

As someone very new not just to DD, but to the idea that there were other people with my needs out there, I was drowning in all the crazy websites and pure porn out there in my search for, well, normal people. I knew that the things I was finding were not really what I was looking for, and it was such a relief the day I found my first spanking forum. Now I'm sure there are a lot of them out there these days, but you'd be hard pressed to find nicer, more helpful folks than the ones on Joannie and Friends. 

I think it's terrific the number of DD blogs that are out there, but they tend to be less of a two way conversation than a monologue (which is fine). Forums give you the opportunity to post your questions to a whole bunch of more experienced people, as well as to people who are in your same boat and may be looking for the same answers you are. 

Joannie took a break from blogging and cut back on her forum participation for a bit while dealing with the care, and then the loss of her mother, but she's come back to both now, and if you're looking for wise words, friendly ears, or just some great stories, you ought to check her out!

All about Nick

I found this fun meme over at Daisychain's!

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
If it's Sunday afternoon, a horribly cheesy 80's or 90's action movie while I take a nap. If it's Saturday, one of his car shows. Monday and Tuesday are anyone's guess, although probably something from the DVR. Wednesday we watch Criminal Minds, Law & Order: SVU, CSI, and Psych, although we record them because we have church and usually only get through a couple of them before bed. Thursday we watch whatever we didn't get to on Wednesday, and lately Hannibal, and Friday just kind of whatever's on. I know it seems like we watch an awful lot of TV, but we don't really have money for date nights these days (and babysitting is almost harder to come by than money), so this is kind of our bonding time. Most of it's after the kids are in bed anyway, and by that time we just want to veg out and relax.
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
Ranch, always.
4. You go out to eat and have a drink, what does he order?
Used to be sweet tea the vast percentage of the time, but usually it's water these days.
5. Where did he go to high school?
That's a bit personal for the blog, but it's the same high school attached to Morgan's middle school (which was also his middle school).
6. What size shoe does he wear?
size 10 1/2
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Classic cars. But more realistically, he has a collection of model cars.
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
Barbecued pork.
9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
Barbecue, although not necessarily sandwiches.
10. What is his favorite cereal?
He actually likes quite a few cereals, although I don't buy them as often as I should. But a few are Frosted Flakes, Raisin Bran, Strawberry Frosted Mini Wheats. Really though he's a bigger fan of Pop Tarts.
11. What would he never wear?
I'm going to go with Skele-Toes. (not an affiliate link)
12. What is his favorite sports team?
He's not a sports fanatic (for which I've always been grateful), but he does love golf and cycling, although those are not team sports. He also enjoys our college football team, but he doesn't get crazy about it.
13.Who did he vote for?
I know, but I try to keep politics off the blog.
14. Who is his best friend?
I am, and he is mine.
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?

I wash clothes and tend to leave them piled up on the chair in our living room (guiltily looking to my left...).
16. What is his heritage?
Scotch-Irish
17. You bake him a cake for his birthday:
Boston Cream Cake.
18. Did he play sports in high school?
He played football.
19. What could he spend hours doing?
Browsing Reddit.
20. What is one unique talent he has?
He's a terrific artist, although he doesn't give himself enough credit.