35

Today was my birthday. To be honest, it didn't start out that great. Historically it tends not to, although I usually have a great day the day after. Jack took an out of the ordinary nap late yesterday evening, woke up around midnight, and was up and very active until almost 6:00 this morning. Of course Daisy got up with Morgan at 7:00 and came up to snuggle and wish me happy birthday, very sweet of course, but I was barely conscious. Fortunately Jack was well asleep by then, so after getting Daisy some breakfast, I was able to get her settled in bed with Jack and me watching TV, and I was able to doze off and on for a few hours between random, half asleep conversations with her.

Now before anyone votes me worst mother of the year, she was perfectly safe and happy watching educational preschool programs right beside me, and I was very easily woken if she needed me. I also had the bedroom door locked so there was no danger of her wandering the house, and it was very easy to unlock from the outside in case of an emergency.

Anyway, that was my morning and part of my afternoon. After I got up I did some laundry and worked some on the house. Morgan got a little pissed at me because I wouldn't let her invite all her friends in to throw me an impromptu birthday party. But frankly I felt like crap from lack of sleep, and I didn't feel like spending my birthday entertaining a bunch of 11 year old girls, although the way I worded it was that I just wasn't feeling up to having company right then.

We attend Wednesday night praise services at our church, so I got us all ready and out the door, and we were actually on time for once. Church was good, my mom and dad gave me a card with $50, and after the service Nick took me out to dinner with the kids. Robert and Faith joined us. One blessing was that I had a great coupon that let the kids eat free, so even though we got dessert (yay chocolate molten cake!), it was about $15 cheaper than we could usually eat there.

As far as gifts, I got the $50 from my parents, a bottle of lotion from Nick's grandmother a couple of weeks ago, and the Hobby Lobby gift card from Kate last week. Morgan also gave me a collage she had made from pictures she cut out of magazines. I do think my in-laws and possibly James and Grant got me something, although I've not seen any of them. And Nick will bring me home a birthday gift tomorrow. He did buy me a frozen coke on the way home from church. :)

At church a lady who just loves Daisy and Jack brought Daisy a stuffed unicorn (that she immediately fell in love with) for her birthday and Jack a stuffed monkey toy to attach to the car seat handle just because.

Another neat thing was that my aunt and cousin visited my parents today and gave them several large boxes and bags of baby clothes and craft supplies for me. Some of it I'll pass on, but there were some very cool things in there, including lots of elastic (something I use a lot of) and tons of vintage trim and lace. As far as the baby clothes, my cousin's son and Jack are a season apart birth-wise, but because Jack is so small for his age (at almost 10 months, he's still in 0-3 months onesies and 3-6 months in almost everything else), most of it will still work. There were a lot of 12 month/12-18 month items that will fit him next summer, fall, and winter.

I did ask for a birthday spanking, but we got home from dinner pretty late, so maybe tomorrow. Either way, I'm loved and blessed.

Little blessings

Happy Birthday to my brother James! (Not that he'll be reading here).

Today I looked at our bank account and realized that a draft I wasn't expecting had come out, overdrawing us a little. It wasn't fraudulent, just something I didn't realize was coming out yesterday. The blessing was that the bank didn't charge us an overdraft fee (not sure why, but I'll take it), and we had enough cash on hand to put in and prevent anything else from overdrawing it.

I went by the shelter again today to look for Pancho (still missing), and he wasn't there, which likely means he's still around here somewhere with a girlfriend. Please do be in prayer though. He's the best dog we've ever had, and I'd really hate to lose him.

I was able to get a bunch of clothes put away and the living room cleaned by the time Nick got home, despite a middle of the day trip across town to get the bank deposit and visit the shelter, so that was nice.

Anyway, I'm off to take a stroll around the neighborhood and call for Pancho. Have a great night!

Bruises and blessings

Ah, well, I'm sitting on a very tender bottom right now. The kids all went down at a reasonable hour, so at one point Nick gave me a look and pointed upstairs. I considered playing dumb, but that seemed to be a pretty futile path, so I trudged upstairs to await my fate.

When he came upstairs he looked sternly at the 2 baskets of unfolded clothes sitting on top of our toy chest. I was hoping this might inspire him to reach for his belt instead, but he just moved the baskets and opened the lid to choose a paddle. I'd not been paddled in months, so I couldn't think of any of them that wouldn't be awful. I was surprised though when he pulled out the novelty paddle I bought in Jekyll Island. It looked sturdier to me than I remembered. He told me to turn over, so I got up and bent over the side of the bed.

He took hold of the waistband of my jeans and started spanking me. It hurt - a lot! But I managed to stay still, and after 30 swats he stopped. I thought he was done, but he pulled down my jeans and panties. "Please don't, please don't, please don't," I whispered. "You're getting 10 of these - if you hold still. If you move you'll get more." Now, it'd been a while since I'd been spanked at all, months since I'd been paddled, and oh, a year and a half since I'd last gotten spanked on my bare bottom. Can I just say that I can't remember anything hurting worse than those 10 swats? I did managed to hold still though.

I don't have to worry about that paddle anymore though. It turns out that last swat cracked it.

After the spanking was over he lectured me a bit, then took my pants and panties the rest of the way off and proceeded to have his way with me, as he put it. :) Afterwards I rolled over onto my stomach. He smacked my bottom with his hand and said, "It's been a while since I've seen that." "What?" "You've got a blister." Sure enough, I'm bruised and blistered, all thanks, I'm sure, to those last few with my pants down. Anyway, I'm glad that it's done, and even more glad that he followed through with it, as awful as it was to get. I know I needed something to get me in gear, and I want to to better with things.

In keeping with the somewhat theme of the month, I do have some blessings to report:

Morgan has been part of a months-long feud between herself and one of the neighbor girls (ironically enough the one Nick and I like the best). Anyway, for whatever fickle pre-teen reason, the feud ended today, and they're best friends again.

Nick got into some poison ivy the other day, and it's driving him nuts. Today he called me from work ready to claw his face off and asked me to see what we could do to get him some prescription strength medicine for it. He does have insurance, but all doctor's visits are paid out of pocket until the (very high) deductible is met. Fortunately my cousin is a nurse practitioner, and she was able to call in a prescription for him without him needing a doctor's visit, and it cost us all of $3.28

James' birthday is tomorrow, and I never know what to buy him. Nick watched the kids for me though so that I could go to our local used book store and trade in some old books for store credit. Fortunately I was able to not only find a couple of books that I know he'll enjoy, but I also found several for my dad for his birthday in December and Christmas.

Have a great night!

Church, family, and missing puppy

Today was another lovely day at church. After the service we enjoyed a great lunch with family and friends at a favorite sushi place.

From there we stopped by the animal shelter. Sadly our much loved dog Pancho has been missing for a couple of days, and we were seeing if perhaps animal control had picked him up. He wasn't there, which was actually somewhat of a relief, because getting him back would have involved some expense if he had been. Honestly, he's done this a couple of times before, and both times there was a girlfriend involved, so I'm pretty sure he's off getting his doggy groove on somewhere. That said, we would really appreciate your prayers that he comes home soon. Morgan especially is worried sick.

After we got home Nick and I took a quick nap with Jack, then we all headed back to church. Nick has been running the sound booth for the church for a couple of months now. One of the ministries at our church is that they provide for free as many CD and/or DVD copies of each service as you request. There are a number of members who pass them out to friends/family members/shut-ins. With the revival just ended there were a ton of requests to get caught up on, so after the service I helped him get them all packaged and separated.

From there he went home and the kids and I went to Wal-Mart for toilet paper, shave gel, etc.

Nick had planned on spanking me tonight, but Jack was a live wire and Morgan was having problems getting to sleep for worrying about the dog. So it's been put off for another day at least, but he does very much mean to get to it.

It's just over 10 weeks till Christmas, so I'm ratcheting up my gift making planning. My main concern is Will, Kate's husband. I always find him hardest to  get for just because he has everything already, and he's so far out of our league financially that I feel like most things I can come up with that I can make or afford would be kind of cheesy or pointless. Last year I got him some coasters, and I made him some etched glass steins with mustaches on them. But his very favorite gift was a bucket full of candy bars, so I plan on repeating that this year. He has a huge sweet tooth, so I'm going to make some peanut brittle too, but beyond that I'm not terribly sure. I'm toying with the idea of making matching father/son bow ties for him and Maddox, but I'm not sure how he feels about bow ties, or matching your kid for that matter. I do plan on making a bow tie and matching bow tie onesie for Grant and Logan, who got to come home from the hospital yesterday, by the way.

Anyway, that was today, blessings and just life in general.

Have a great night!

Restful Saturday

Today was a restful day for a very nice change. For once, no one came upstairs to wake me up to take them to school because she missed the bus, or climbed into bed with me to ask "Is it time for the sun to be up?"

Nick went out to my parents' house this morning to work on my dad's truck for him, and he brought the girls back home with him this afternoon. Jack did wake up early, but when I put him in bed with me he snuggled down and went back to sleep.

After Nick and the girls got home Nick mowed the yard while Morgan played with the neighbor girl and I took Daisy and Jack to the store with me to pick up a couple of things we forgot last night, like hamburger buns and cheese slices. When I got back I fixed pork burgers (a new experience for us, but I think we'll probably have them again some time) and mac n cheese, always a favorite with my two littlest ones.

Jack pushed through tooth number 4 today. He's growing so fast!

After we ate, Nick put in The Avengers. I had a little bit of a headache, so I lay down on the couch, and before I knew it I was asleep. Sleeping in and a nap in one day! And it wasn't even my birthday!

Have a great night!

Busy Friday

Today was a busy day, but it was nice. Nick was off, so we ran some errands. To start with, Morgan missed the bus this morning - grrrr!. But the good news was that since Nick was home I didn't have to drag Daisy and Jack out with us when I had to drive her in. 

She was supposed to have 2 boxes of sugar cubes for a school project today. She mentioned this Tuesday, and I went to Wal-Mart to find her some. Unfortunately they were sold out, and with Logan's birth the next day, I didn't give it another thought until she brought it up at 11:30 last night. This was frustrating, but we'd all been distracted, so I told Nick I would try to go find some, then promptly forgot about it. I got Jack to sleep and was getting ready to turn in myself a couple of hours later when I remembered. I REALLY didn't want to go out then, but I also didn't want her to fail the project, so I dragged myself to the car. Unfortunately 2 stores and a phone call to a third later it became apparent that pretty much every place nearby was sold out.

Anyway, when I drove her in this morning I stopped at a store that was closed when I went out last night, and we found one lone box. I bought it for her, which apparently saved the day.

When I got home Nick had to leave to go get his hair cut, then he had some scrap metal to take off. He made about $170.00 from the scrap metal, which was a HUGE blessing. When he got back from the scrap yard he took all the trash off to the dump, then he, Jack, Daisy, and I went for lunch.

We had Mexican, which was awesome, right up until Daisy got a chip caught in her throat. In the process of us trying to dislodge it, she threw up right on my shirt and jeans. So. Gross. But she could've seriously choked, and she didn't, and Nick generously gave me his shirt (he was wearing a t-shirt underneath), so it was definitely not as bad as it could have been.

After lunch we went home to meet Morgan coming home from school (and so I could change!), then headed to the hospital to see the new baby and take some hospital pictures.

From there we went to church for the last night of revival, where my parents unexpectedly offered to take both girls home overnight. Normally I'd jump all over a night alone, but he'd been fussing at me about my car off and on all day and had made a point of telling me I was still on the hook for a spanking, so it made me understandably nervous to have the house basically to ourselves. But both girls were super excited about it, so I let them go.

After church, Nick agreed to do some much needed grocery shopping with me. By the time we got home and I got something for him to eat and got all the groceries put away, he was mostly asleep on the couch (which is where he is right now). So anyway, it seems I got a pass for the night. I'm off to try to wake him up enough to get him up the stairs and into bed. 

Day 11

Today was nice. I got to spend a little bit of time editing photos, and I found at least one really gorgeous shot each of Morgan, Daisy, and Jack.

Daisy seems to be showing interest in her potty seat on her own, although we've only had one successful "landing" to date.

Revival continued at our church, and I was especially blessed by the service this evening.

After the service we stopped by the hospital to see Kelly, Grant, and Logan, which was very sweet.

As an added bonus, an old friend from high school gave birth there also yesterday, so I got to stop by and see her and hold her precious, tiny baby girl.

While I was in her room, I saw who was probably my very favorite nurse during my 16 days in the hospital with Jack. She remembered me, and I sent her to Kelly's room to see Jack. When I was there yesterday, I also took him by the nurses station and then down to the NICU to see a couple of the nurses he had when he was born. They remembered him and were thrilled to see him. :)

I also got to spend a few minutes texting a friend I met via my blog, and it looks like we might get to meet in person in a few months.

There's still been no spanking, although we have been busy. Nick's off tomorrow, but we have a number of errands to run, so I'm not really expecting it to happen then, or necessarily even at all at this point.

On a random note, tonight I took Daisy to the bathroom at the hospital to change her diaper. I reached down to pick her up, and she jumped up at the same moment, driving her head into my right cheekbone. It was painful enough that I just stood there with my face in my hands trying to slow breathe through the pain for a minute. Daisy said, "It's okay, Mommy! I'm your best friend!" which, I'm not going to lie, made it feel a little better. :) Anyway, I'm sporting a nice bruise on my cheek, so I'm anticipating a few "Who punched you in the face?" queries. Ah, motherhood.

Baby Blessings

A big blessing today!

Kelly and Grant welcomed little Logan this evening. Things didn't go quite as planned - Kelly's labor wasn't progressing, and she had to have a cesarean - but everything went very well, and they now have a healthy 8lb 9oz, 21 3/4 inch baby boy with the famous family dimples.

Day 9

Today was overall pretty good. 

First of all I got my birthday gift in the mail from Kate - a $50 gift card to Hobby Lobby! This was especially awesome to me not only because it's one of my very favorite stores, but also because it was something I couldn't use to pay bills. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for a birthday gift that helps with the budget too. But a good portion of the time, any money I get for my birthday ends up going to help pay the bills (not complaining - Nick's had the same thing happen to him too), and any gift cards I get end up getting saved to use as/toward Christmas gifts for other people. It was amazingly wonderful to get to go and do some guilt free craft shopping just for me!

I took Daisy to the doctor today. About a month ago she had strep throat, and she seemed to have a lingering cough from it, so I wanted to have her checked  out. Everything was just fine, and the cough seems to be just from some mild allergies.

We had another great church service tonight.

My mom gave me $20 just to help out tonight. It helps us more than she knows, because as of right now that's the entirety of our money until next Friday. That said, I KNOW God is going to provide for us this week and next.

I got the bank to agree to order us some free checks on our new account since the old one got hacked.

In just a few hours Kelly and Grant will be heading to the hospital to welcome little Logan to the family!

Day 8

Today's blessings include:

A wonderful revival service at church tonight.

Being able to get the kitchen and living room swept and mopped and the couches vacuumed out. (That might not sound like much, but try it with a three year old and a very mobile baby sometime.)

Morgan did NOT miss the school bus this morning, something that happened a couple of time last week.

Caramel Apple Sugar Babies. These are seasonal, only available around Halloween, and I wait for them all year!

A trip to Wal-Mart by myself. All I bought was deodorant for me and Nick, 2 pieces of poster board for Morgan, and rice crackers for Jack, but it was nice to get out of the house alone for a little bit.

A couple of lovely um, encounters with my sexy husband yesterday morning and last night.

On the generally silent DD front, I think I'm going to get spanked. Nick told me a couple of days ago that we were going to have a talk about the house and the car (which I keep cleaning out, I swear! I have no idea where all the stuff in it keeps coming from!) I asked him last night if he meant we were actually going to talk about it, and I got a very emphatic NO. That said, we do have revival at church all week, which means by the time we get home we're scrambling to get dinner made and eaten/homework done/clothes laid out, and it's later than usual by the time the kids are in bed. I won't say I'm expecting him to forget, but I will say that I won't be completely surprised if he does. Either way, I'm trying to get the housework done, and I do appreciate him calling me on it.

Sweet Sunday

Today I was blessed by:

Two wonderful Homecoming services today at church.

A fabulous Homecoming dinner.

Supper out with my family and church folks this evening.

Daisy looking super adorable in her outfit I made her for her birthday.

A lovely Sunday afternoon nap with Nick and Daisy while Morgan watched Jack.

A quick post

This is going to be a quick one, because I need to get to bed, but today I'm thankful for:

Already owning a baby gate since Jack is officially on the move!

Getting some of Jack's room cleaned out and some outgrown clothes boxed up to be passed on.

Nick getting to leave work early today.

Nick bringing home Jet's pizza!

Getting to take a nap with Nick, something that very rarely happens, except on the occasional Sunday.

Good night!

Happy Birthday, Daisy!

Oh my goodness, what precious things to be grateful for today!

Three years ago we were blessed with a baby girl we were told we would never have. Today she is a beautiful, smart, articulate little girl, and a world class big and little sister!

We had a small family gathering for her birthday, and she got SO MUCH awesome stuff!

She loved all the stuff I made her.

My cousin's little boy loved his fort kit.

Nick's paycheck went into the new account instead of the old (wrong) one.

I have a lovely bed in which to go and lay down this sleepy head!

Good night all!

Day 4

Today I'm thankful for:

This adorable set of clothes Kate sent Daisy today for her birthday. I love all of it, and she definitely needed a winter coat! The hair bow is one I had in my shop. When I saw how well it matched, I just had to pull it out and make it a birthday gift!

 

That everything that we did successfully cleared our old bank account without the bank accidentally returning anything.

Morgan was worried because she didn't have anything for Daisy for her birthday. We still have the ladder we borrowed from my dad, so I used it to get in the attic and find a few of Morgan's old dolls and other toys. She was really excited to pick some things out to give her sister!

The joy I've gotten out of Daisy's adorably specific birthday requests. "What do you want for your birthday?" has been consistently answered with "A strawberry cake with yellow icing! And candles! And balloons! And presents!" She's talked all night about the strawberry cake with yellow icing she's getting tomorrow. :)

In August we were invited to my cousin's little boy's birthday party. He's 8 weeks older than Daisy, and this particular cousin has done so much for me and my family. Sadly we were all sick at the time, so we had to forgo the party. She's bringing her little boy to Daisy's small family get together tomorrow, and I made him a deluxe fort kit for his (very late) birthday gift. I'm glad to get to see them, and I'm glad to get his present done!

Kelly was due today, but still no Logan. I'm pleased to report though that she at least has an induction scheduled, so if she doesn't go into labor before then, we'll welcome her and Grant's first son next Wednesday.

Off to bed!

Day 3

Today's blessings include:

Jack got his third tooth today. :)

Nick got an unexpected package in the mail today from his uncle. It was a big shoebox full of golf balls and tees! His uncle is an avid golfer and had a bunch of extras he wasn't going to use (so he said). Nick loves to play golf, so this was a really neat surprise!

I got a bunch of baby doll diapers made last night, so that finishes up all of Daisy's birthday gifts.

Elizabeth and her husband and kids came to church tonight. They've only recently started attending, and it blesses me every time they come.

Robert gave Nick some shoe laces tonight at church. That may seem really silly, but the laces on Nick's black dress shoes were falling apart, and I'd been having a ridiculously hard time finding a pair that weren't big flat ones made for tennis shoes.

We got our new debit cards today. I pay a lot of our bills online or over the phone using mine, and I was concerned they wouldn't get here before pay day.

Have a great night!

Graituesday

Today I am thankful for:

My parents came by earlier and dropped off some much needed milk as well as a few other treats for the kids.

I got to take a short nap this evening - a rare treat for me!

The precious slobbery baby kisses Jack planted all over my face (and arms, and knee, etc).

That Morgan didn't have any homework tonight, always a relief.

That I got to hang out with Nick and watch one of our favorite shows together.

That I still have my parents. A dear girl I went to school with has had to make the heart wrenching decision to have the hospice turn off the machines on her dad tomorrow morning.

Finding some really neat ideas for handmade Christmas gifts.

My bed!

Too blessed to be depressed

A couple of years ago I started the month of November out focusing on being grateful for the many, many blessings in my life. I tried to post every day (and mostly succeeded), taking the time to put down the things I was thankful for that day. That exercise was a blessing in itself to me, because it did a quick job of turning my attitude around at a time when I was struggling with some things. I think it's past time to try it again.

Today I'm thankful for:

God's hand on our bank account. A few days ago I pulled up our account and noticed a check with a weird check number for $29.95. I knew we hadn't done anything for that amount, so I looked into it a little further. It turned out to be fraudulent, which meant we had to close the account and open a new one, something we REALLY didn't want to do. We've had this account for over a dozen years. I had my debit card number memorized, we had plenty of checks, Nick's direct deposit goes in there, and everything from my Itunes to my Paypal to my car insurance is connected to it. Not only that, but we were going to be down to $25 once all the legitimate stuff cleared not counting this fraudulent charge! Wait, I promise I'm getting to the gratitude part! First of all, we caught it before anything bigger was taken. Second of all, the bank is going to credit us the 29.95. Third, they opened us a new account quickly, so it definitely could have been worse.

Yesterday Nick's aunt, cousin, and great aunt, all of whom we rarely get to see, visited our church. The reason was a sad one - his great aunt's brother-in-law passed away and they wanted to gather as a family after church for lunch. But it was still wonderful to see them. Also, we didn't have any money to go have lunch with them, but my precious parents, anticipating the need, handed Nick $50 at church so that we could join them after all.

We were out of both diapers and formula today, and God provided a way for us to get both. Plus He gave me a great deal on the diapers!

Jack, who will be nine months tomorrow, is officially crawling.

Nick was off today. Normally he works Mondays, but he worked Saturday for a coworker, so I got to enjoy being with him today!

I had a coupon today for a free molten chocolate cake at Chili's, one of my favorite desserts of all time. Nick and I had some errands to run while Morgan was in school, so we stopped and got it with Daisy and Jack. He gave Jack a taste of it, and it was the cutest thing ever! He got this huge smile, then his eyes rolled back in his head like he was just in heaven, and he started giggling out loud. Best food reaction ever! :)

Nick helped me fold a lot of the laundry today.

Our ceiling fan in the living room is really high up. Like we need a ladder to change the bulbs. Two of the four bulbs had been burned out for a couple of weeks, and it was driving me nuts! (I hate a dim room!). Tonight my dad let us borrow his ladder so Nick could change the bulbs. Finally, light!

This laundry detergent. Everybody I've ever met who tried to make their own laundry detergent said that even if it worked for a couple of weeks, pretty soon their clothes just weren't getting clean. I tried this one because A. it was dry, not liquid, which I thought might make a difference, and B. the women who run http://www.howdoesshe.com/ are geniuses. I've been using it for MONTHS now, and it works even better than the most expensive brands I've tried, even on Nick's dirty mechanic's clothes. In fact, I gave some to my mom, who is super picky about laundry, and after trying it, she made a big batch for herself!

I got to get my hair colored last week. My mother-in-law does it for me for free at her shop, and I felt 10 years younger getting all that gray out!

 

I'm also thankful that Jack is finally asleep so I can go take a shower!

 

Have a great week!

What would you do?

First of all, I was looking at some of my posts about family and friends, and I realized I really need to come up with a better way of referring to them all than just by initial. It's confusing to even me that way, so I've come up with (fake) names for all of them, and I put a sort of key up on the right. I'm going to go back through and try to fix them in all the old posts.

Anyway, my friend PK is currently faced with the scenario of her daughter asking to read some of her erotic (spanking) stories. I wish her all the best of luck, and I'm glad I'm not in her shoes right now!

It got me to thinking about the few times I've shared TTWD with anyone. The thing is, finding something that just makes you so, well, happy, you just want to share it with the people you love. It's such a deep part of you that it can start to feel almost...dishonest if you aren't telling your sister/best friend/dieting buddy this amazing part of your life that makes you feel special and giddy and sexy and taken care of and finally true to yourself. And while it's wonderful and right that you can find so much support out here in blogland, it can make it seem easier than it is to find that kind of support in the people who love you in real life.

The first person I ever told (the only one I've ever directed to my blog) was my friend Alicia. Now let me first say that I stood by Alicia through her husband's multiple stints of depression, drug use, infidelity, and abandonment. I spent hours sitting and praying with her and days emailing back and forth about it, and I opened my home to her to spend the night when she didn't feel safe in her own home. None of that is to brag on me at all, just to say that I kind of expected her to be at least a little open-minded and non-judgemental. And she was - just so long as she thought it went only so far as I Love Lucy did.

But when she read my blog, the blog I was so very proud of and directed her to with great vulnerability and trust, she told me she felt so sorry for me that I thought so little of myself that I believed I deserved such treatment. I've never in my life wished so much that I could unshare something. It not only hurt me deeply, but it infuriated me that she was basically saying Nick was abusive. My husband! That experience truly burned me on full disclosure, and I basically told her that I was really sorry she misunderstood the situation, that I didn't think I would be able to ever talk about it with her again, and that I would appreciate it if she just forgot everything I'd told her.

The second person in real life to find out about the blog was my brother Robert. Yes, the one who's our pastor. He was not our pastor at the time, although he was only a couple of months away from it when it happened. At the time I had a Facebook profile for AngelBrat. I didn't have any mutual friends between it and my RL profile, but apparently helpful Facebook will suggest any profile accessed using the same IP address to all the friends of any other profile using that IP. So when his wife got a friend suggestion for AngelBrat, they clicked on over, probably wondering who on earth they might know with a profile picture consisting of spanking artwork. As it turned out, it was me!

He sent me a text asking if I knew that setting up a Facebook profile for my blog would have those results. I assumed he was talking about my photography blog, but nope, it was this one! His take on it was that what we did was nobody's business but ours and God's, and he promised to keep it private. To this day he's not brought it up, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate his discretion as well as his non-judgemental attitude.

The only other person who sort-of knows is my friend Elizabeth. And she doesn't know about the blog. She just knows that I enjoy being spanked (as apparently she does a bit herself), and that we have a crapload of spanking toys. I did hint though that sometimes it's more because I need it than because I want it, and she was pretty quick to say that she wasn't on board with that. Whether she meant that she wasn't on board with it for herself or for anybody at all I don't know, because I pretty much abandoned ship on the conversation at that point.

Truthfully, I would love to have a friend in RL that I could just sit down with over coffee and be real with about this stuff. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be in the cards.

As for the situation PK is dealing with, I'm well aware that I could be facing that sometime in the (hopefully distant) future. Having come across some very unambiguous internet history a few months ago, I'm pretty convinced that Morgan has the same interests. At the time I checked with Nick to make sure it wasn't him looking stuff up. Sadly it was not, because I totally could have worked with that lol. But I had to go and have an excruciatingly awkward conversation with my 10 year old daughter about what sorts of things are not okay to look at online and what sort of skewed impression that sort of search is likely to give her. I guess in a way I'm glad I had the opportunity (even if forced into it) to talk with her about it. When I was around her age my mom found some spanking stories I had written, and her reaction made me want to crawl inside myself with shame.

Neither Morgan or I wanted to be having the conversation, but I told her that I did understand her interests, and that those were not things to be ashamed of, but rather to be fully explored someday with her husband if they so choose to do. I also told her that a lot of the things out there online didn't depict anything close to a loving relationship, and that they were not the sorts of things God had in mind for her heart and her marriage. I also told her that if she were to do anymore such searches, I WOULD know!

She did ask me once why I had all those things in the chest at the end of our bed, and I just told her that it was a private space that she did not need to be getting into, but that there are things that are meant to be just between husband and wife. Anyway, if she ever gets up the nerve, I expect her to one day come and ask me if Nick spanks me. I guess I'll just be honest with her if and when the time comes. My biggest fear would be that it would cause her to think badly of her dad.

So have you told anyone in real life? How did it go? Do you regret it, or do you wish you had told them sooner?

Birthdays and babies...

Well here's a novelty - 4 posts in one month! So, not a whole lot going on here this week, which is actually a nice change. :)

Daisy's 3rd birthday is next Friday, so I've been sewing and crafting for that. Money is short right now, but fortunately she's too young to not still be impressed with handmade things. :) We did buy her a baby doll, this one to be exact:

I've been busy making her accessories to go with it, including a diaper bag, changing pad, bib, burp cloth, wipes case (complete with wipes cut from an old pillow case), extra diaper (just one so far, but I want to make more), and baby ring sling. None of it's really professional grade, but I think she'll like it all.

We also have her another doll. I almost hate to tell the story behind this one, but here goes. Several weeks ago there was this random dog that had the run of the neighborhood. Nobody knows where he came from, but he was pretty much a nuisance (and I'm not a person who minds dogs running loose just so long as they're well behaved). One day I happened to go outside and there was this dog in our yard with a naked Our Generation doll in his mouth. It's hard to be sure without the clothes, but I think it was this one. Anyway, I grabbed the doll and shooed him away, thinking I was rescuing it for some poor little neighbor girl.

The thing is, I've not been able to find who it belongs to. Morgan is friends with about all the girls in our subdivision, and none of them have claimed it. So it seems to be looking for a home. It was pretty much undamaged, just a barely split seam under the right arm, and no teeth marks at all, so I think he must have not had it for long when I found him. I ran it through the washing machine, then managed to get the hair straightened out using some of the girls' detangler (although pulling her in and out of the hall closet to show everybody but Daisy what I've done with her has been hell on the hair). Then I went to work on some clothes.

I had some sweet pink paisley corduroy that I'd been hoarding saving for something special, so I made Daisy and the doll matching skirts. I added some decorative stitching in black around the hem on each. Then I found black t-shirts on clearance for $2.50 at Wal-Mart. I grabbed 3 - one for Daisy, one for the doll, and an extra (because you can never have too many plain t-shirts for a little girl). I was quite proud of myself, because I managed to follow this pattern, and make a little black shirt for the doll to match Daisy's, even managing to reuse the trim on the neckline and sleeves (I promise the sleeves are even, but one was bunched up in the picture).

Then I followed this tutorial using one of a pair of Dollar Tree knee socks and made her an adorable pair of argyle tights. Now if only I could find some matching ones for Daisy! Wal-Mart has just come out with a new line of 18" dolls, and the accessories are really inexpensive, so for $1.99 I was able to finish the outfit off with a pair of black mary janes.

                                  (Please ignore my messy craft area)
I also made them both matching headbands in two different styles. One is a big ruffled flower on an elastic band, and the other is a pink and black woven headband. A few months ago I found blank plastic headbands to fit 18" dolls for $4.49/dozen here, and I'm really tickled with how they came out.

Anyway, that's the totally redneck story of what I'm affectionately calling "The Yard Doll", but I really do think she'll love it. Morgan has about 7 of these dolls, including two real live American Girl dolls (one from her Aunt Kate and one that she saved up for), and Daisy is always wanting to play with them. She has a cheap one of her own that I got on clearance at Wal-Mart a while back, but when one falls in my lap for free I can hardly turn it down.

Potty training is going abominably. Morgan was almost three when she potty trained, but she wasn't this close! The sad part is, I think she was ready last winter, but we wanted to wait till after Jack was born and she was used to having a new baby in the house before we tried. Then we knew we were going to Georgia at the end of July, and we didn't want to put a newly trained toddler through a nine hour car trip, so we waited again. At least I can take comfort in knowing that her cousin Maddox is 4 months older than her and still not 100% on it himself.

We keep expecting to get a call from Nick's sister Kelly any time now. Her due date is next Thursday. Her birthday is actually Saturday, so we're kind of thinking it might happen then, if only because it seems to run in the family. Her dad was born the day after his mom's birthday, and Morgan was born on Nick's birthday. For that matter, Daisy was due the day after my birthday, but she came a couple of weeks early.

Anyway, that's the randomness that's happening here. Hope you guys are having a great Autumn!

So after vacation...

By the time we got home that Sunday night, I was feeling pretty sick. Like the type of miserable sick where you feel like someone is constantly poking you with a stick and just won't let you rest. Within a couple of days the kids were sick too. Yep, all three of them. Jack had actually woken up with crusty eyes Sunday morning, but he seemed to feel fine, so I just made plans to take him to the doctor when we got back.

By the next morning (Monday) it had developed into a full blown cold, and I took him in to the doctor. They said it was a little bit of conjunctivitis and a cold, and prescribed him eyedrops. By Tuesday night he was running a high fever (105.5). I called the nurse on call, and she told me to bring him in the next day. When we got to the pediatrician's office they put a pulse-oxygen monitor on him and were concerned enough with his oxygen levels to give him 2 separate breathing treatments there in the office before sending us to the children's hospital for xrays. I had both girls with me (Daisy had developed a cold and an ear infection by this time). My mom came and picked up the girls, and I headed to the hospital with Jack. Nick met us there.

Bless his heart, Jack was so miserably sick, still running a fever and throwing up every time they tried to give him Advil. Finally they xrayed him and came back saying they thought it could possibly be pneumonia. They started him on antibiotics and admitted him. I sent Nick home once we got settled because he was supposed to work the next day. Meanwhile at my parents' house, Daisy had gotten very, very sick herself, fever, coughing, vomiting, the whole nine yards.

By the morning Jack was feeling so much better. Nick called in to work and came by. The respiratory specialist came by early and told us that it was apparently something viral and not pneumonia, because the antibiotics had almost cleared up the area on the xray that they thought was pneumonia, and that he would probably be able to go home before lunch time. This turned out to be wishful thinking, only because it was close to 5PM by the time we could get a doctor to show up and release him.

My parents brought the girls home and we spent the night resting. We had a follow up appointment for Jack the next day, and I called and got an appointment for Daisy too. It turned out that she had conjunctivitis too, as well as a bad cold, so they prescribed eye drops for her too. By then my cold had mostly gone away except for the fact that my right ear was completely blocked. Nick insisted I go see someone, so I went to a walk-in clinic, and it turned out I had an ear infection. $135 later I walked out with a prescription for antibiotics and a freshly irrigated right ear (a thoroughly unpleasant experience).

By the time I went to pick the kids up (Mom had watched them while I went to the clinic), Morgan was complaining of ear pain. It was too late to get her in to see the pediatrician that day, so when Nick got home he took her down to the same walk-in clinic where she was diagnosed with, yep, an ear infection. Fortunately Nick managed to avoid getting sick, thanks I'm sure to the tons of prayers we were all sending up. Unfortunately my parents both got sick the next week, my mom with pneumonia, which was pretty rough on her.

Morgan started school (middle school!!) on the 14th, so the 13th I spent attending her orientation. I can't believe my baby is in middle school! I spent all that week cleaning house getting all the vacation stuff unpacked (finally) and working on stuff for my sister-in-law Kelly's baby shower I was throwing her with Kate. Kate and her two kids came in on Wednesday (the 22nd). It was really nice to get to see them again so soon after vacation. Usually we see them maybe twice a year if we're lucky.

Now I got an embroidery machine with part of the money Will and Kate gave us for Christmas last year, and it had been sitting unopened in my closet since January due to a lack of time and space to open it up and learn how it worked. But I got all my craft stuff consolidated and my kitchen table nice and clear and decided to get it out and play with it. I actually wanted to use it to embroider my nephew's name on a sweet little tote bag to give to Kelly at the shower. So I open it up and put it all together and realize the foot pedal is missing. Then I realized the front accessory tray was also missing. And all of the bobbins. And the training CD. So I call Wal-Mart up and tell them this embroidery machine I bought as new (NOT as an open box/floor model!) was missing some pieces. So they tell me to bring it down. Then they tell me they can't help me since I bought it more than 90 days ago, even though I had just opened it. This made me furious, not because of the return policy, but because they had clearly accepted it as a return from someone and boxed it back up and stuck it out on the shelf as brand new without even bother to check that the major structural components were in the box!

They suggested I call the Brother Company, but they were no more help. They said that since it had been more than 30 days all they could do was sell me the missing parts and waive the shipping charges. So I took it down to our local Sew N Vac to see if they could find at least a foot pedal for it. They sold me a used one for $25. Unfortunately I still couldn't get the machine to work.

By then I needed to concentrate on the baby shower, so I gave up on the tote bag. The baby shower was on the 25th at our church, and it wasn't super fancy, but it was still very cute. Kelly loved it, and she got a ton of great stuff, and we all got to spend some extra time with Kate and kids, so it was a win all around.

After Kate went back home I turned back to my embroidery machine. I ended up taking it back down to Sew N Vac where the nicest guy ever worked on it for a hour for me, replacing yet another part (this one damaged, not missing) and charging me a grand total of 19.99 plus tax. It now works great, and I just need to buy some stabilizer so I can embroider more stuff!

Life's been mostly pretty calm since then. We went up to the cabin for a fish fry the Saturday before Labor Day. Daisy came down with strep throat that weekend, although she's all better now. Business has picked up some in my etsy shop, which it pretty neat. Kelly's baby is due in 14 days, and Daisy will be 3 in 15 days. Where on earth has the time gone?

Speaking of time, I don't know if you knew this, but it's only 13 1/2 weeks till Christmas. Proceed panicking.

I'm just saying...

Vacation

So I know it's been well over a month since I posted, but I have a good excuse! We've had a crazy busy (and just plain crazy!) few weeks!

Before I get into all that, I want to mention that there was a real live spanking in July, the 22nd to be exact. It was completely unexpected but much appreciated since it was a stress buster/get focused spanking rather than a punishment. Nick asked me to join him upstairs where he took off his belt and gave me a good 35 or so licks, just enough to really set my butt on fire. And it's a good thing he did, because I've sure needed that de-stressing in the bank with everything that followed.

Not all of it was bad - in fact most of it was awesome, but it was still a lot to experience.

The day after I got spanked Vacation Bible School started at our church. Nick and I both helped, which was a first for me at this church and for him anywhere, and we had a blast. My mom and I were in charge of the crafts, something I'm always happy to help with. My friend Elizabeth and her husband had been visiting our church a bit, something that really thrilled me, and Elizabeth had signed up to help with the crafts too. Unfortunately she had been dealing with some personal demons for the previous couple of weeks and decided that she just was not in a frame of mind to be of any help. I understood, but it did make things a little hectic! As it turned out, she was able to come and help after all Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, which was nice. I ended up bringing a couple of little girls from our neighborhood all week. It's been really neat to be able to share our church with them, and I'm glad Morgan is so happy to invite them.

On Saturday, the day after VBS, we left for the beach! This was, hands down, the most amazing vacation of our lives! Nick's parents and Kelly and Grant went with us. We drove about halfway there Saturday and stayed in a little Microtel. If you're looking for a nice, clean, inexpensive place to stay overnight, I highly recommend the Microtel chain. We stayed in one once before on our way to Texas one year, and it was just what we needed and no more (which means we also didn't have to pay for extras we wouldn't use!).

The next day we rolled into Sea Island, Georgia, where we checked into The Cottages at The Cloister and stepped into another world. Kate and her husband sold their lake house last year and joined this amazing vacation club. The Cloister at Sea Island is one of the destinations on it, and they took us all there this year instead of having us visit them in Texas. (For the record, I don't know who the people in the picture below are, but they weren't with us).

It's hard for me to even describe how incredible this place was. This is not the sort of world we live in normally, that's for sure! Please don't think this post is bragging, because this was just an amazing gift for us, and definitely not the type of trip we could afford in a million years. I'm going to talk about it a lot here, just because I want to remember it forever, so feel free to skip the rest of the post if you want. ;-)



Sunday: We checked in at the Cloister and were taken to our cottage. It was amazing! This was the room Nick and I shared with Daisy and Jack (ignore the random stuff, we had just unloaded everything).

 

 

 

Morgan and Kit camped out on the couches in the living room.

 

That night we had dinner out and then just kind of hung out and relaxed.

Monday: Morgan and Kit and Kate (the sister hosting us) went horseback riding with Nick's parents. The rest of us slept in, then everybody but me went to the beach. I took the opportunity to go shopping by myself (well, with Jack) for a bit, hitting up a couple of craft stores and a mall, where I bought Nick a few golf shirts. While I was out Nick called to let me know that there had been a waterspout (small tornado) spotted on the ocean and that I needed to stay put in the store until things were clear, so I enjoyed taking my time in the stores. We had dinner at the cottage that night.

Tuesday: We went to the beach, then Kelly and I went and had mani-pedis, a rare treat indeed for me! That evening we had dinner at a delicious barbecue place. That night we went crabbing on the beach, which mostly consisted of Morgan and Kit chasing every crab they saw and squealing and running when they chased back. :)

Wednesday: I woke up unusually early and decided to grab Morgan for some early morning shelling. We didn't honestly find that many cool shells, but there was about a million horseshoe crabs, both dead and alive, and Morgan was fascinated with them. It was a very sweet time with my oldest girl, something I wish I had more of. That afternoon Nick and Grant went golfing at the historic Cloister Lodge. They had an AMAZING time, and I'm so tickled for them that they got to play there. Will arrived that evening as he'd had to work until then.

Thursday: We went on a fishing trip, which was really neat. I didn't do any fishing myself, because I was taking pictures, but Nick, Daisy, Morgan, and their cousins all caught stuff, including several sharks and sting rays. On our way back through the hotel from the yacht club, would you believe we ran into President Bill Clinton?! It was the craziest thing ever, and it really brought home to me and Nick just what an amazing caliber of resort we were at! It turns out he was there to play golf and plant a tree on the hotel grounds, something numerous Presidents have done in the past. That night Will treated us all to dinner at the Lodge, which was insane! The actual restaurant name was Colt and Alison, and let me just say that Daisy's meal from the children's menu consisted of milk with a grilled cheese sandwich and a fruit cup and it cost roughly $15. Dinner for the 12 of us came to about $1200.00.

Friday: Nick and I got to go spend some time just walking around the grounds of the hotel, which was gorgeous!

 

 

There was a kind of luau style luncheon put on by the hotel that day, which was neat. We spent the rest of that afternoon and evening enjoying the pools.

Saturday Kelly and Grant decided to head back home because Grant teaches Sunday School at our church. (I don't know if I mentioned it, but they joined our church in July, which was awesome)! The rest of us headed to Jekyll Island to the Georgia Sea Turtle Center. Daisy and Maddox (Kate's 3 year old son) especially enjoyed it.

Nick and our 3 stopped at a really neat old bookstore on the way back. Unfortunately I didn't really get to explore it because about 4 minutes after we got there Jack peed on Nick's shirt. Nick offered to let me keep looking while he went to the car, but I could tell that he was pretty grossed out, so I paid for our souvenirs and joined him in the car. We went to a nearby beach shop, and I bought him a clean shirt. While I was there I found a little novelty spanking paddle, which I also bought. We've not gotten a chance to use it, but it's not terribly sturdy anyway. That night we went to see a lighthouse, which was neat, but we got caught in a thunderstorm, which cut the visit short.

Sunday: This was our last day, so it was mostly spent packing up. We all had one last lunch together, then said our goodbyes and headed home.

So that's our vacation. I'll end the post here, since it's been terribly long, but I have more to post later!