Busy life

So four months have gone by. I'm sorry I've not been updating. I just haven't been able to find the wherewithal to sit down and post. But a lot of things have been happening. 

First of all, the house I mentioned back in February. We didn't get it. We kept working toward getting ours ready to market, and the Realtor called us periodically to find out how close to listing we were. Finally he called in April to tell us the homeowners expected an offer from a particular buyer any day. This would be their very first offer after over a year on the market, so we expected them to take it, which we hated, but we just weren't ready. Then the other offer got delayed. 

Finally the Realtor called and asked me what it was that was keeping us from submitting a contingency offer. I explained that we still had a few things left to do, which we were working to come up with the money for, and we knew a contingency offer would be time sensitive. We didn't want to waste part of that time with our house not yet for sale. He said he felt like they would be open to a lengthier contingency time frame than normal since no other offer had come in, so I told him we would talk about it and pray about it. We finally decided to go for it, and we submitted an offer several thousand dollars below the asking price, with the expectation that they would counter. 

And of course the other offer came in the same day. But they asked the Realtor to come back to both us and the other buyers and ask us to submit our very best offers. So we gave them an offer for the very most we were willing to spend. The next day the Realtor told us he was very sorry, but they had chosen the other buyers. So I was very sad and upset for about an hour.

Then Nick found a very new listing online for a house in close to the same price range with even more room than the one we had just lost. It was For Sale By Owner, so we called the number listed and asked for a showing. We went to see it the next day, and we fell completely in love. Like head over heels. 

It was definitely a project home, as the owners had purchased it to completely renovate and then run out of money after running into some nasty surprises. But they had fixed most of the big things, like a new roof, a new ($20,000) HVAC system with all new trunk lines, new plumbing, a completely renovated kitchen with granite counter tops, all new cabinets, and all new higher end appliances, tile flooring in the kitchen and living room, and new carpeting upstairs.  The husband is in the military, and they bought the home based on the information that he was going to be deployed to Afghanistan. They were going to used his deployment salary to pay for the renovations. They went ahead and started the major renovations using credit with plans to pay it off when his salary came in. Then his deployment got cancelled. By this time they were tens of thousands of dollars in debt with the renovations, so they decided to cut their losses and sell. 

It had everything we wanted and even things we hadn't  been looking for, like a pool and a tennis court (yes, a tennis court). And there was a ginormous craft space with a kitchenette attached to it. Okay, it was a mother-in-law suite, but it would make a dream craft room. And there was a huge detached garage tall enough for Nick to install a car lift in, which has long been on his list of someday dreams. The bedrooms were massive, and there was tons of natural light throughout the whole house.

We loved it so much that, after praying about it, we made an offer that same day. At first they didn't accept it because we weren't on the market yet with our home, but our Realtor talked them into a 90 day contingency contract, and the race was on! Our families came together to help, and we were market ready in 2 weeks. It actually took a few days for the listing to go live because we were waiting on the photographer to come take listing photos, but once it did, we blew up with showings. Like 5 in the first few days. And they just kept coming. We've had 45 showings at this point. But no offers. And our contract ran out last Monday. 

We talked to the homeowners, and they were willing to renew on basically the same terms for another 6 weeks or so. But we wanted to go by and see the home again before we signed a new contract, especially since they did not want to work with our Realtor since they didn't want to have to pay him a seller's commission. As we've only contracted with him to sell our house, not find us another, that was fine with us. But we wanted to take my parents with us to see the house, especially since my mom would be handling all the paperwork on our end if we weren't going to use our Realtor. They really didn't like the house at all, which was disappointing to us, but all they could see was the work left to do. 

It's mostly just finishing work at this point, like laying tile that has already been purchased and would come with the house, putting up trim and hanging doors that are also already there, and installing toilets that are sitting there in the boxes. But there are a couple of major projects too, the most urgent of which would be putting together the completely gutted master bathroom (no small expense). The in ground pool needs a bit of cosmetic work, and we don't know if all the pipes are sound. The upstairs hallway and the stairs need  carpet, and there are several places in the home that need drywall or ceilings installed. We were actually pretty disappointed that they hadn't finished anything since we had first seen it three months prior, but the  wife is very pregnant and the husband is frequently gone with his job, and I guess they figured they had a buyer and didn't need to do anything else.

We could do all the work ourselves with the exception of the pool, but after more prayer and talking, we opted not to renew the contract. We haven't completely ruled the house out by any means, but we feel like God was telling us not to sign anything else until our house sells. Maybe since they have to start marketing it again they will finish up a few projects, and if it doesn't sell soon, maybe they will come down on the price. Or maybe it's not the house for us after all and it will sell to someone else before ours sells. We're still just waiting and praying.

So that's what's happening on the real estate front. The good news is that my house has been pretty much spotless for 3 months straight. The laundry is always all done and the sink is always clean. I've never been such an awesome housekeeper in my life. Wherever we end up, I definitely want to continue the habit, even if I have to be the meanest mom in the world to make it happen. Jack and Daisy are both actually great at keeping things neat now. It's Morgan I have to stay on top of.

Of course now that the house is all clean I am literally perfect (ha!), so there's no reason at all for Nick to bring up anything discipline related. Except of course for the fact that I still desperately need it in my life, but whatevs. I've asked him several times if he's decided not to do it any more, and he always says no, it's just not something we've done "lately". We're coming up on 11 months now since the last punishment spanking, and 9 months since the last spanking at all, which was my wonderful birthday spanking last year. I'm halfway convinced that he really is done with it but just doesn't want to have the conversation so he keeps putting me off. That's probably not a fair assessment, but I'm on my period and not inclined to be reasonable.

We did finally get that night alone on our 17th anniversary last month. It was kind of a mixed bag. The time we had together was wonderful, but the timing was bad. Nick had to work that day, then get up early and go back to work the next day. Plus I was on my period then too, which kind of put a damper on things. We went downtown and had a fabulous sushi dinner, but our plans to explore the downtown area on foot together afterwards got rained out with a vengeance. 

Nick took this last week off, and my mom tried to give us another go at a romantic night alone. That went swimmingly until about 2:30 in the morning when she finally gave up trying to pacify a little boy who badly missed his mom and I had to go get him. But we had been about to go to bed anyway, to sleep since we'd had some crazy good sex on the back deck earlier, rather daring for us these days. :) 

So what else? Nick ended up not getting to join us at church camp this year because they wouldn't give him the time off. which was a huge disappointment. He did drive up every night for the evening meal and service, but it wasn't the same without him. Since he wasn't going to be there all week, I had just planned to drive up daily myself. This was the first year we incorporated a craft time into every day, and I was in charge of it, so I did have to be there for that, but I was afraid it might be hard to manage both little kids in that environment by myself all week. But Nick didn't want me to make the drive every day, both because of the gas expense and because it's kind of a long and sketchy drive road-wise, so he had me stay. Kelly and her two little ones, Logan and Adison ended up staying with me most of the week though, so we traded off sitting so the other could get a shower when we needed to. At 9 months apart, Jack and Logan are best buddies as well as first cousins, so it was good for them to have each other to play with, and Daisy couldn't get enough of 13 month old Adison.

Nick missing camp did mean that he still had that week of vacation, which is why he was able to take it off last week. Vacation Bible School was going on at our church all week, and I wish it had been some other week. It went great and the kids loved all the crafts, but Nick wasn't thinking about it being that week when he requested off, so it wasn't quite the break he was hoping for. But he still got some fishing time in, and it was nice for him to at least not have to show up at work. And we did have that one very nice partial night alone. :)

We're most likely not going to get to go to Texas this year, which makes me very sad. We've been every year since Kate and Will got married with the exception of the year we all went to Sea Island to vacation together. It would have to be in the next 3 weeks or so if we were able to go, and the money is just not there this year. We did get to see Kate and the kids for a week though a few weeks ago when she came in to stay, so it's not like we're going a couple of years between visits. Maybe if the house sells by then we can try to go when the kids are out of school for fall break.

Speaking of school, in 20 days I'll have both a high schooler and a kindergartner, (Sob!) We had Daisy in a one on one preschool program one day a week last school year with Morgan's retired preschool teacher who now teaches like this in her home. Daisy missed the age cutoff for kindergarten by 5 days last year, so she'll be one of the oldest in her class, and we didn't want her to fall behind. She did really great with the in home teaching, and she's reading pretty well and a whiz at math. She'll do great in school, but I'm sad to see her growing up so fast! So far it's looking like she'll be in the elementary school near our current house, which I don't love. Morgan attended there in 5th grade, and the teachers were all very nice, but the school is only rated a 3 out of 10. We didn't put in for any sort of transfer request for her, because we thought we'd be moved by now, and the house we were trying to buy is zoned for the top rated elementary school in our county. 

Morgan on the other hand will be going to the school we want her to attend. We did request a transfer for her, because the other house (well, both other houses actually) were zoned for a school we didn't want her to attend. We were actually surprised to be approved for the transfer, because we were told they're notoriously hard to get, but we sure prayed hard about it, and God answered. I have to trust that He has a plan for Daisy being where she is. When they had kindergarten round up a few months ago we went ahead and pre-registered her at the nearby school because we didn't have permission to go anywhere else, and she really liked what she saw, so I'm sure it will be fine. She'll be close to home, and it will probably just be for one year anyway.

So I think that's all the news that's news. Hope you guys are all doing well!

Cocooned

It never really goes away, you know. That insatiable need, that mild to raging obsession that is always lurking there at the corner of whatever you're doing. I wish that it did. I wish that I could flip a switch and fade it from my psyche, but the very fact that my mind has already haplessly seized on the word "switch" and imbued it with a startlingly fleshed out story line gives lie to the notion. And it's nothing new, this discipline-obsessed incubus that chatters in my ear at every turn. It's been over 6 months since the concept of discipline remotely related to anyone past middle school in this house, and the buzzing in my head has reached a bleak and mournful pitch. 

I hate this. I hate the fact that I can't master this need for mastery, that it pulls at me at every turn in a room where there is no place for it. It's ridiculous, this deep seated longing for boundaries and a regular occasion to smash up against them. And it seems patently unfair, when the man I love with all my heart can't hear the bellowing whispers of this need. And why on earth should he have to? I am not a child. I don't need someone to remind me to go to bed at a reasonable hour, to tell me to remember to eat before I feel shaky with the lack of it, to manage my time so that I'm not constantly running out the door 10 minutes late. So why oh why are these things that I struggle with, and struggle more with in feeling obscurely hurt that no one is stepping in to make me get out of my own way? I'm neither incapable nor a fool, so what exactly is the problem?

And if I am neither incapable nor a fool, neither am I petty enough to act out in a way that is harmful to my marriage. Certainly there are small rebellions, sneaking a lidded drink up to bed when we agreed to keep food off the new carpet, a quick trip to the thrift store while I'm meant to be running out for ground beef, maybe one more round of Trivia Crack when I should really turn out the lights and go to sleep. And each harmless act carries with it a delicious thrill of what if... But I'm not spending the house payment on a new craft cutter, flirting with other men, taking up smoking again. I'm far too in love and filled with a genuine, bone-deep gratitude for what I have already to fire randomly at our marriage in hopes of drawing a response. I love this man, and he is good to me.

What frightens me the most about this need is its insistence in the face of starvation. Go without sex for long enough, and you will, eventually, all but stop needing it. The lack may tell in parts of your life, but it won't haunt and mock you after a while. There is no such relief for me and this commonly bizarre cry for discipline. The clanging bell in my head rings loudest for punishment, not play. While I certainly enjoy an occasional sexy spanking, I can generally take them or leave them. It's genuine chastisement that makes my gears turn, although that arousal comes well after the event, and stoutly depends on the punishment being both real and effective. It seems there's a sixth love language that fits me like a glove. 

I have made it a point to be purposeful in my sexual thoughts, to cast only my husband in my fantasies, and for the most part this is easy. I have no desire for other men, and the best sexual scenario for me in any situation involves only him naturally. But when I feel untended and burdensome, it's because the real life experiences are long MIA, and it becomes hard to get the highlight reel to load. I have to fight the urge to go skipping through the offerings of the internet, a trap I have cause to know too well. Those pictures and stories are usually sordid, and even if they're not, even if they are sweet and modest and heartwarmingly genuine, they aren't mine and his, and they don't have a place in a heart and mind that is desperately grasping to fill a need that is meant only for him. 

I don't have any answers here. I know the instinctual advice is to push communication. Surely just talking things through will solve the issue. Except it won't. It has not and it will not. That's not pessimism, it's realism. He was not made for this, even if he was somehow made for me. And that he was made for me is something about which I have no doubt. But it rarely occurs to him that I might need discipline unless I have done something to make him really angry, and I'm am unwilling to pay the greater, long-term price that comes with being intentional about such a thing. The quandary therefore is this: why would he want to punish me for being a loving, capable, generally well behaved adult? And why would I choose to be anything else when I am, after all, neither incapable nor a fool? When the stress builds and I find myself lashing out, I'm brought to heel with little more than a quiet word. The automatic urge to push, to provoke, crumbles in the face of the realization that he's right of course, and why am I being so unreasonable anyway? It's not fear that backs me down, but inconvenient maturity.

I have no time for games. I don't want a pretend punishment with a wink and a leer. And for many people that is just what they need. But it feels false and pointless to me, a waste of time. I need to feel genuine love and purposeful caring as an impetus to the act, a pointed desire and intention to steer me right. But I've been a good girl all my life, and most days I feel too guilty to fall apart and make all the poor decisions, simply because I know better. How could I dare to be so thoughtless when he has given me all the other desires of my heart? And so I feel the inevitable curling inward, the quiet cocooning against a prodding quest that has no easy grace.

Preparing

I know it's been too long since I've posted here. But I'm still kicking. Life has been busy but wonderful. Christmas was a precious time as always. I got some fun things, but the biggest was a Dyson DC59 Animal with a Home and Car Cordless Tool Kit from Will and Kate. I know it's not exactly a wild and crazy gift, but I was super excited - it's the first decent vacuum cleaner I've ever owned! And it was completely unexpected. Kate has one that she loves and uses constantly, and I've used it at her house. I was thinking it was a Shark and that it also was a steam cleaner, and a few months ago when we were looking for something to buy to use on our laminate flooring I called and asked her what kind she had. She told me it was a Dyson and that it was just for vacuuming, so I pretty much forgot about it since A) Dyson's are crazy expensive and B) we were looking for a steam mop. Anyway, we found a Shark steam mop at Lowe's that we've loved, and we put an actual vacuum on the back burner since our only carpet was in our bedroom and on the stairs. The carpet in both places was pretty sad, and we had a little Shark hand vac, so we decided to just stick with that for now.

BUT, now we have new carpet!! We're smack in the middle of (well hopefully not the middle of, hopefully more toward the end of) getting our house on the market. Last month we found a house that we really, really love. It's already on the market, but it's been sitting there for 11 months now with no offers. In fact, we looked at the listing last year, but at the time they wanted $30,000 more than their current asking price, and it was beyond what we could even consider. But they've come down to within our price range, and their realtor (who will also be our realtor when we list) told us when he toured the house with us that they are not firm even on the lower price, so they may be willing to come down some more. 

One point against it for some buyers is that it is located directly across from the entrance to a rifle range, which scares a lot of people who don't know much about it. But the shooting area for the range is far, far away on the property on the other side of the street and facing away from the house. And it's also 3 driveways down from our community soccer and football fields, which should tell you something about the safety of it. I think the biggest reason they've not had any offers is because of their more or less horrific decorating style. The big dark poofy drapes, excessive floral and gilt, and terrifying 80's furniture is pretty off-putting, but that's their stuff - we're only worried about the house beneath it. And the house itself is awesome. The only cosmetic stuff we would have to change would be switching out a few chandeliers for ceiling fans, replacing the blood red shower surround and matching vanity, and adding a dishwasher. Everything else is perfect, including the fact that it has a ginormous garage for Nick, a huge playroom for Jack and Daisy, a separate room for each kid, 3 bathrooms, generous closet spaces, a massive master bedroom, a laundry room, tons of play area outside, nice landscaping, and........a craft room!!! Can you hear the angels singing? 

It's about 2 1/2 times the size of our current home, but it's well insulated and also has a wood stove to help with heating, and the utility bills are actually pretty comparable to ours here. Property taxes are also about the same. The owners built the house 43 years ago and raised their family there, and you can tell that it's been lovingly maintained. They're retired now and are building themselves a little cabin in the country, so they're anxious to sell. And I LOVE the fact that the soccer fields are just a few yards down the road. Morgan played soccer for a couple of years, and Jack and Daisy will likely do the same. And there's a greenway for walking with a playground at the end of it, as well as a dog park along the way. When Morgan had practices Nick and I would walk with the littles and sometimes the dog, and I really enjoyed it.

Now I know, this house is far from being ours. Especially since we're not even to market yet with our house. But we're close to listing, and as soon as we do we plan to put down a contingency offer. We've already gotten pre-approved for the loan, and our realtor seems to think our house will be pretty desirable in our area. And when it comes down to it, if it's not the house God has for us, it just means He has something better.

But, we do feel led to go ahead and get ours listed, so toward that, we've: put down new linoleum in both bathrooms, given almost everything a fresh coat of paint, had new carpet put down in all three bedrooms, the hallway, and on the stairs, done lots of patching and sanding and painting on random wall dings, put up a nice new light fixture in the bathroom downstairs, begun painting our kitchen cabinets white (oh my gosh I love them, why didn't we do this years ago?), and rented a storage unit, which currently holds about 50% of our belongings. We've still got to finish the cabinets, paint the ceilings, paint the kitchen, lay the linoleum in the kitchen (which is in our garage waiting on us to finish the ceiling paint), clean out the garage, clear out some brush and stuff at the side of the house, and hire someone to paint the back of the house. Right now we're in the middle of an ice storm, so the outside stuff is off limits for the moment, but we're working hard to get the rest done.

And guys, I've been doing so much better with keeping stuff clean! Granted the kitchen is in chaos right now, but that's because it's under construction. But the bedrooms and bathrooms always look nice. And the living room is more or less always within 15 minutes of being clean, now that all the furniture from the rest of the house that was moved there during carpet installation has been moved back.

So what else has been happening other than house stuff? Well, Nick and I had an unexpected and totally awesome date night Dec 30. We took the kids up to visit with my parents one afternoon, and they offered to keep all three and sent us out the door! We had gift cards for The Chop House  as well as for a movie, so we enjoyed an amazing dinner and went to see The Mockingjay Part One, and even squeezed in a quick trip to Tuesday Morning in between! 

We got our income tax return, which is mostly gone now, but we were able to use it to pay some bills, pay my parents back for some money they had let us borrow last year, rent the storage unit for a few months, and do some repairs on Nick's truck. The bills we paid will especially be helpful as they would have all been due on his next check this Friday. Please be in prayer for us, because he used a couple of sick days to deal with removing our old carpet and flooring and then being here while the new carpet went in, which would have been fine, but then his place of business has been closed for the last two days because of the ice storm, so his paycheck will be taking a huge hit, and we still have a number of other bills to pay. But we are just trusting God and praying - He always shows up!

Oh, something kind of funny (in retrospect) happened last month. Nick and I had made arrangements for someone to watch all three of our kids overnight. His dad and stepmom were taking Morgan and Jack, and my parents were taking Daisy. This is not common. In fact, other than that night, it has never happened. That was Jack's first (and so far only) sleepover. And prior to his birth, the only time Daisy had been away from us overnight was when I was in the hospital during my pregnancy with Jack. That means that Nick and I had not had a whole night alone in over 5 years.

Now we didn't have any big romantic plans. We just needed the kids out from under foot while we (he) installed the linoleum in the bathrooms and painted. But still, we were looking forward to the night, blasting our music from the 90's and painting in our underwear if we wanted, and who knew where the night might lead?

That night our church youth group went ice skating, and Morgan, her bestie Allie, and Allie's boyfriend were all going. I was to pick them up afterwards, then drop them all off where they were supposed to be. Now normally, Allie rides the bus home with Morgan on Friday and we drop her off at home Sunday night after church. I joke that we have custody of her on weekends, although really her parents are a bit presumptive about leaving her with us. It kind of gives us an extra mouth to feed almost half the week since they never send her any money to eat on, and I never get a call from her mom asking if it's okay for her to stay.  But normally it's fine. Truly. She's not a problem, and we're her only access to church since her parents don't attend anywhere. If it was a major issue, I would have a talk with her parents, but generally it's not a problem and she's welcome in our home.

But a few days before, Morgan had gotten grounded, and she had told Allie that she wouldn't be able to stay over that weekend, although she was still welcome to attend the youth event and church services with us. Allie was fine with this and understood, but apparently her mom assumed she would still be staying with us for the weekend. So after the ice skating, I picked the 3 kids up and dropped off first Allie's boyfriend, then Morgan, saving Allie for last because she lives just down the road from our neighborhood. 

On the way home, she had tried to call her mom multiple times to tell her she was on her way, but couldn't get an answer. I had mentioned several times while the kids were in the car that Nick and I were going to be alone overnight for the first time in over 5 years, and there was never any question that she would be going home. But when we got to her house, it was locked up tight as a drum, all the lights out. Allie doesn't have a key to the house, nor does she know the alarm code, and her parents turn off their phones when they go to bed (which it turns out is before 10:30 PM). After dozens of call and texts to both parents and 20 minutes or so of standing in the freezing cold while multiple doorbell rings as well as increasingly aggressive knocks on the door went completely unanswered, Allie even tried knocking on her brother's window to no avail. It was 24°F out there, people. Even had I been willing to leave her there to fend for herself if it had been warm (I wasn't), there was no way I could even think about driving off in any circumstances with it so cold. So I sent her to the car to warm up while I tried one more time to wake someone inside. I called Nick and told him what was going on so that he would be prepared (ie. not painting in his underwear when we got there), and drove her home with me.

Bless her heart, she stayed up most of the night cleaning and organizing Morgan's room while we worked (her idea, not ours!). I think she felt pretty bad about the whole thing, although of course I couldn't be mad at her. Her mom on the other hand, I was pretty put out with. Even if she had been supposed to spend the night with us (which she hadn't), what if there had been an emergency? What if she'd been in a car wreck or been injured ice skating? In my book it's pretty inexcusable to make it so that your kid can't reach you in an emergency, especially when you've not verified where they're going to be overnight! We got a text from her mom about 5:30 the next morning full of apologies, but of course by then it was too late.

It would be just our luck though that we worked so hard to get overnight care for all three of our kids and ended up having someone else's lol. The good news is that Jack did well overnight at his grandparents' house, and they expressed a willingness to keep him again sometime. So maybe we'll eventually get that night alone after all.

DD has been more or less MIA around here. In the last 2 years there have been 10 serious spankings. The last discipline of any sort was over 5 months ago. Not that I'm keeping some kind of tally, but I do post about it here every time it happens, and it's a little sad for me to look back and realize just how sparse it's been. I think it just leaves me feeling a little...untended. I know that right now we are extremely busy, and the DD dynamic is always the first thing to go. Or maybe not the dynamic, per se, because he's still the guy in charge, but it feels more like it's staying that way because I want it to rather than because he's enforcing it. And I guess that's really the way it should be. And it's not that I actually want a spanking. As long as it's been, I do still remember just how much they hurt. I think I just miss knowing that the boundaries are real and that they are solid and hurt to run into. Bah, this is stupid. I know it's a pot best left unstirred, and besides, all our "stirrers" are in storage. I think it's just the fact that I'm generally pretty well behaved and it's not something that's ever really discussed, or at least if I bring it up he just kind of nods in acknowledgement and basically refuses to contribute anything else to the conversation. It kind of makes the whole thing feel like a figment of my imagination. But I suppose 10 years into it there's not a whole lot about it we need to discuss. Meh. I won't be bringing it up.

What else? Daisy's stomach has been bothering her again, so I guess we will try seeing her doctor again. Tons of tests and visits last go round didn't turn anything up, but she's with a new pediatrician now, so maybe they can get to the bottom of it. Jack took a flying leap off Daisy's bed and smashed his poor little nose into Morgan's bed last week. It bled forEVER, and he had a bit of a bruise, but he doesn't seem to have broken it, and the bruise has more or less disappeared. 

Jack turned three last month (me sobbing quietly into a pile of tiny little baby clothes). We didn't have resources to do a party this year, but my parents gave us the money to take the 5 of us to Chuck E Cheese's, and it was the greatest experience of his young life. :)

Hmm, I think those are the highlights. Anyway, I'm off to do more housework!

Holiday fun

Hi, guys! Just popping in for a minute. Thanksgiving was wonderful! The food was wonderful, and it was such a sweet time with family! I'm actually just about done with Christmas gifts, if you can believe it. I was able to do some careful shopping, and I was able to get some really great buys, so I'm having to make very little this year. 

God has been taking care of us as always. Sunday on the way into church, we were discussing in the car how we were going to be able to make it through the pay period since Nick had just gotten paid two days earlier, and we were already at the end of our money just with bills and both needed gas in our vehicles, not to mention groceries. We just prayed about it, and when we got to church, our head deacon handed Nick an envelope with his name on it. Inside was an unprecedented, VERY much unexpected check for $750. The church had decided to give a one time Christmas gift (of varying amounts I think) to several of the people who serve in our church, including our piano player and her bass player husband, our youth pastor, and Nick, who runs our sound booth for every service and creates all the CDs and DVDs for our media ministry. This is not necessarily going to be an every year kind of thing, but it was such an incredible blessing this year!

I've also gotten several photo shoots recently, and just tonight Nick got a job for some mechanic side work. God is so very good to us, and I need to get back to posting regularly so that I can share (and later remember!) just how very much He blesses us!

Tonight was Nick's work Christmas party, and while it wasn't the best year by any means, it was still really nice to have a few hours out kid free with him.

Last night I went up to bed a bit early because I had to get up early today for our Ladies Craft Meeting at church. I was still awake though a little while later when Nick came up, and I was pleasantly surprised to feel him curl  around me and began to explore. Next thing I knew, he had flipped me onto my stomach and was giving me a very hot spanking, followed by equally hot sex. Good night indeed. :)

I'm off to bed for now. Have a great night, all!

Lover Our Lurkers Day 9

Hi, guys. I know I'm quiet here lately, and I'm afraid I'm a bit of a lurker myself these days, but I'm still here nonetheless! Today we celebrate Love Our Lurkers Day for the 9th year. This day was started by Bonnie to welcome all our readers and give a bit of encouragement to those who've maybe never said hello to just, well, say hello! These days LoL Day is hosted by Hermione, and who also does a great job hosting The Spanko Brunch on Sundays, also started by Bonnie many years ago. I've participated every year except for LoL6 back in 2011 when my laptop was in the shop and I didn't have a way to post.

I've been blogging here for almost a decade now, and I've met so many awesome people, some of whom are now my friends in real life too! I know that when I first started exploring the spanking community online I was very shy, and I know many of you probably are too. But you won't find a nicer, more welcoming, and helpful group of people anywhere. Come on out and say hi, even if you just want to do so anonymously. I'd love to hear from you!

Catching up, and a birthday spanking to remember.

It looks like it's been over a month since my last post, and you can blame Jamie and Claire. Well, partly. I may be halfway through Drums of Autumn, the fourth book, which means that I have devoured approximately 2700 pages in the last 3 1/2 weeks. But, honestly, I can't blame them entirely. 

I finally found the kids a new pediatrician, something I've been trying to accomplish all year, so I had to deal with well visits and immunization catch ups for Jack and Daisy. Quick(ish) summary: last fall our longtime pediatrician group quit taking our insurance. We decided to go with the one Robert and Faith use, but they wouldn't see new patients till the New Year, so we were in limbo for a bit. When I was able to schedule an appointment finally, they set it for the 3rd week of January for Jack to get his 24 month immunizations. Then both he and Daisy got really sick, and they agreed to see them both early the next morning at 8 AM. But that night they spiked scary fevers, so we took them to an urgent care office. They both had double ear infections and strep like symptoms, and the urgent care place wrote them prescriptions. So first thing in the morning I called the peds office to cancel the appointments, but they didn't turn their phones on till 8:30, 30 minutes after our appointment (weird, right?), and the answering service said they could not get them a message. So I called back when they turned on the phones in the office and explained the situation. The nurse was super understanding and assured me they wouldn't count it as a no show since they were unavailable to be notified. And they told me that they would call me the day before to remind me of Jack's previously scheduled appointment, still several weeks out.

Right before that appointment, our pipes burst, and we spent two days cleaning everything up. The next day (Friday) was his appointment, but I thought it was on the coming Monday, and they never did the reminder call. So on Monday morning I called to confirm the time, and they told me that we had missed the appointment, and they would not see Jack at all as a patient, because this was our third no show. I explained again the situation with the original appointments and told them that I had been assured that these would not be considered no shows since I had done my best to let them know before my appointments. She agreed to ask the doctor to reconsider in light of the extenuating circumstances, but I've never been able to get her to call me back on it, despite bringing it up during every visit with Daisy (who oddly enough could still get appointments). Daisy only saw the nurse practitioner, so I never actually met the doctor. Anyway, I finally had enough and changed to the pediatrician Kelly and Grant use, and we LOVE them!

So when I took Daisy to her well visit a couple of weeks ago, it turned out that one of her ear piercing sites was infected. They had to get the earring out so it could heal, and it was terribly painful and traumatic for her (and me watching!). (But the doctor and nurses were fantastic). The plan was to get it re-pierced after it healed, but she ended up being so afraid of it getting infected again that she's opted to wait until she's older. Ah well, at least when she does get them redone she'll have plenty of earrings on hand, because she got about 40 pairs for her birthday.

So what else? Kelly's birthday was the 29th, and I made her a couple of pairs of earrings. Will's birthday was the next day, and I made him a Dopp kit. Then Daisy's birthday was the 5th. Five years old! I can't even believe it! I made her several pieces of jewelry (but no earrings lol), and we bought her a baby doll that looks just like Grant and Kelly's baby girl Madison. 

We also got her a couple of other things, but we didn't give them to her till the 11th, when she had her very first official birthday party! We've always done little family celebrations, but this was the first one with friends invited, and it was awesome!

All the girls attendees got to adopt a baby doll and take home lots of dolls accessories besides, and the boys all got stuffed animals. It was a pretty cheap party to put together, and she had the time of her life!

My birthday was Friday, and it was a pretty good day! Usually my birthday kind of sucks, but not this year. My friend Ann stopped by to see me and brought pumpkin spice lattes and donuts, and Nick had some gorgeous flowers delivered! I got some cool craft supplies, some clothes, and a gift certificate for a manicure. Yay! And my parents even kept all three kids so Nick and I could go out for a birthday dinner.

And Sunday night...I got a birthday spanking! The last time I had a birthday spanking was 2007! But this year I got up the nerve to send Nick a text telling him what I wanted out of it, and I hit send before I could chicken out. Here's what it said:

So here are my thoughts on a birthday spanking. I know it's a silly and sometimes sexy little tradition, but I think that's not what I need. I think I need something that is more of a course setter for the year to come, something to help me refocus and recommit. So I am happy with 37 (or 38 as the case may be), although if it goes farther I may not be completely opposed. But I'm thinking maybe the spencer paddle (or maybe that's a mistake) over jeans, at least as long as I can cooperate. And holy crap I'm almost 11 years into this, when the heck am I going to stop feeling so shy and awkward trying to talk to you about it? Sorry, I'm a huge dork.

That was Saturday, and one reason I sent it then was because I knew one of Morgan's friends was spending the night that night, so he wouldn't be able to do it right away. I needed some time to acclimate myself to the idea. Sunday night though we sent the kids to bed at 9:00, and I went upstairs to shower and to spend some time in the 18th century with my Kindle while Nick watched a show I wasn't interested in. 

After the show went off, he joined me upstairs and asked if I was ready for my birthday spanking. Of course by then I had totally chickened out, it having been over a month since my last spanking, and knowing that I had basically told him I wanted this to be a rather more serious experience. I did a bit of reasonable arguing, and told him that after all, I hadn't actually done anything, so we could really just skip it. Fortunately he refused to let me back out of it, telling me that either I could take my birthday spanking or he could come up with a few good reasons why I actually deserved a hard spanking and punish me for those. It's true enough that he had a few of those to hand, so I wisely opted for the birthday spanking instead, and he told me to get the paddle. I balked at this, because well, by now I was truly nervous, but he insisted, and when I asked which one he wanted, he asked me did he need to read the text to me. So, resigned, I pulled out the Spencer paddle. 

Per my text, he allowed me to keep my jeans on, but he seemed quite determined to make it a memorable experience. He spanked hard enough for me to lose count, but he said he stopped at 38. Then he said, "Unless you wanted TWO to grow on -" and gave me an extra hard swat that had me squealing and twisting. Then he let me do a bit of complaining about how terribly hard he'd spanked me and how much my bottom hurt, but I went on a bit far, and, not quite half playfully he decided another session wouldn't come amiss, and he spanked me again, this time even harder. 

He then had the nerve to go on about how easy he'd been on me "pants still on, not that many, and not all that hard." He was teasing me a bit there, watching my reaction, especially to the "not all that hard" part, and I actually had to shove my face into the pillow to keep from protesting his assessment. I've no doubt at all though that had if I had opened my mouth to disagree I would have found myself getting spanked again. 

After the birthday spanking was over, he said, "Okay, that's the birthday spanking, now for your punishment."

"What?!" I yelped, whirling away from him.

"Well, I did tell you to put away the laundry on the chair downstairs, didn't I? You weren't supposed to have it there in the first place, and you said you would put it away last night, but it's still there, isn't it?"

Yes, sir," I admitted grudgingly. "But you just spanked me, and my bottom is really sore! Please don't punish me right now!" I could see then that he was teasing me again, at least about spanking me for it right then, although he was serious enough about the laundry. He told me he wasn't going to spank me for it that night, and he told me to take my pants off. At that point things took a rather delicious turn, but those memories are just for me and him.

Today my bottom was quite sore and a little bruised, and sitting was painful in a very good way. It was just exactly what I needed. Just before we went to sleep I asked him if he was really going to spank me again the next day for the laundry, and he told me that depended on me. If he came home and the laundry on the chair was still there and the dirty clothes upstairs had not been carried down, he would give me a spanking, sore bottom or not. Needless to say there was nary a sock in sight when he got home today. :)

A New Addiction

So it was only a few days ago that I was introduced to the Outlander series. I had heard of it in passing, but it honestly didn't sound interesting to me. Then I read a post by Rogue where she mentions it along with showing an art poster depicting a rather interesting scene from the first book. Needless to say, my interest was piqued, so I did some research and thought perhaps checking out the TV series would be worthwhile. Fortunately we have Starz on our cable package, and I was delighted to see that there were already 6 episodes available. I really wanted to watch the series with Nick, but he didn't seem too interested. Fortunately he gave it a chance for me, and after the first episode we were both truly hooked. We watched the first 4 hours last night and the next 2 hours tonight. And now we're trying to reconcile ourselves to the fact that we have to wait till Saturday for the next episode. I'm holding out very little hope that any of the books will be available any time soon at our library, so I'm thinking I may need to head to our used book store sometime soon to trade in some old books for a used copy of as many of the series as I can find.

Nick's heritage is Scottish, and when he was a kid his grandparents took him to the Highland Games every year. I admit, Jamie and Claire have me quite stirred up with fantasies about my own rugged Scotsman, and I've let Nick know I'll have him in a kilt before it's done. :) 

As I've not read the books yet, I'm not sure, but I think the episode where Jamie spanks Claire for running away must be coming up relatively soon. I know that at the very least it's been filmed already. And yes, I'm looking forward to it, although I'm a little nervous to watch it with Nick. Not because I'm afraid it will stir him to reenact it :), rather the opposite actually. I'm afraid it may appear abusive, when what I've read of the scene doesn't come off that way to me. It seems to me that she ended up with a much longer and harder spanking than she had to because she refused to cooperate, something I've done myself many times, and I think she deserved every lick (as did I). I just don't want Nick to see something like that and it make him feel like that sort of thing is brutal and it maybe color his view of spanking in our own relationship. That's probably a silly fear almost 11 years into DD, but the last spanking I got ended probably before it should have because he felt like he was being too hard on me. Truthfully, I was rather unhappy in the moment, but even at the time I knew I needed more, and I wasn't even tender 5 minutes after he stopped.

Anyway, I'm off to see if I can find a source for his clan's tartan. :)

An Answer

So. We didn't get the house. Which is a disappointment, but also not. Because I know that, however sad I am about not getting in this house, God has something else, something inevitably better, in mind for us. This morning the guy called me and told me that he had misfigured (by quite a bit it seems), and our payments would be about $200 a month more than the absolute most, stretching-it-maybe-even-more-than-we-should payment we could afford. And he still really wanted to sell it to us (but not badly enough to lower the price apparently lol), but I had to tell him that we just have to walk away at that payment amount. In a way, it's almost a relief that it was so far out of reach, because if it was like $50 too much, then we would have been really tempted to still buy, even if it put us in a precarious place financially. So anyway, it seems that's God's answer on this, and we're just going to continue to trust in His timing and provision. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Just dying over here a little...

Oh my gosh, guys - this is killing me! Sorry for the lack of update, but I don't really have one yet. We met with the seller Monday evening, and it seemed to go well. We told him what our payment had to be and what our house should bring him in rent. He was cautiously optimistic that he could get the numbers within our budget, and he made plans to come see our house yesterday. Monday night we went home and cleaned like mad, and all day yesterday I polished and dusted and hung curtains and did everything I could think of to make the house as appealing as possible. And he never showed up. Finally around 6:30 I called him. He apologized and said he had been covered up all day and had meant to call me but hadn't had the chance, and promised to come by today. A little while ago my mom called to tell me he had called her for my phone number (which we gave him, but I guess he didn't have it on him), and that he had to run an errand first but plans to come by afterwards. So right now I'm just trying to contain the kids and keep the house clean till he gets here, and please pray, pray, pray that he likes our house and can make the numbers work for us if this is what God intends. Hopefully I'll have an answer soon.

A Forever Home

Guys, I know it's been ages. Life has been so busy, but very good for the most part. On August 26 our sweet Daisy girl asked Jesus into her heart, which has been the BEST news!

She's such a precious girl, and I'm so proud of her. Today after church she decided she wanted her ears pierced (something she's been toying with for a while), so we took her and got it done, and she was SO brave!

I got spanked last Saturday morning. Housework stuff again, although there way have been some other stuff mixed in there. He woke me up digging in the toy chest for the doggin bat, and within a few seconds I was over his knee with my panties down. I can't say I was terribly cooperative, but it was a rather rude awakening.

We have had to deal with some drama with Morgan recently. There's this kid who goes to her school. We'll call him Joe. Joe is 13, but he's major trouble. He's been an on again/off again boyfriend to Morgan's best friend Allie, and just through his interaction with her he's proven himself to be manipulative, mean, unfaithful, and a liar. In fact, there have been several occasions where we've curtailed the time Morgan and Allie spent together because of Joe's influence on Allie. Well, last week we found out that he had been grabbing Morgan's breasts on the bus, despite her telling him to stop, and also spreading some nasty rumors about her when she wouldn't agree to some explicit requests he made of her. We immediately contacted the school about the breast grabbing, and because there were witnesses, they suspended him for 5 days. She's riding the bus while he's on suspension, but we plan on driving her in and picking her up once he comes back. I would appreciate everyone's prayers though that he doesn't try to harass her any further (and also that her friend Allie will finally see the light about him!).

There's another matter that we seriously need and would really appreciate your prayers on. Okay, (somewhat) quick back story: A bit less than 5 years ago, a few months after Daisy was born, there was a house that came up for sale. This house was much bigger than ours, and it was located just above my parents' house (a positive for us). We loved just about everything about the house - the style, the room, the lot. It was also originally built by a contractor as his personal home, and he went far above and beyond the requirements for making the house well built, sturdy, and well insulated. It was a foreclosure, so there was the thought that maybe we could get it for less than it was worth, which would have to be the case for us to afford it. I remember walking around the yard, holding hands with Nick and telling God that we would really, really love to have this house, but that it would absolutely have to be His doing for it to happen.

It turned out that there were a couple of problems. First of all there was something wonky with the way the title was filed, causing some issues with buying it. Then the bidding went completely out of our range at that time. But the guy who bought it was a title lawyer who was able to untangle the title issues, and we thought, well, maybe this is God's way of clearing the way for us to buy it down the road. So we kind of put it out of our minds. 

A year later, the guy sold the house to his father-in-law, who is in real estate, and also happened to be the guy who bought my Papaw's farm from my mom after he died. He lived in the house for a couple of years, and he did some landscaping we would have wanted to do, and put in beautiful real hardwood floors. Then last year he offered to sell it to us for a great price if my mom would write off the balance of the money he still owed on the farm. Beyond the fact that my mom just couldn't afford to give away what was basically her retirement to help us get the home of our dreams, we would have never let her do that. So we let it go again.

But now the guy wants to retire and move back home to the county he's from, and he wants to be out of the house by the first of the year. And he's interested in selling it to us. And he is willing to buy our home from us to use as a rental property as part of the deal. And we want this SO SO SO much. And God has worked some serious miracles in the past few months to put us in a much better position to be a contender for this house. But there are so many things that will have to go just perfect for this to happen. First of all, he's going to have to come down on the price by a good bit. Which sounds like a huge obstacle (and it is!), but we happen to know what he has in the house, and if he would just come down to that, then we could afford it. He claims that he will be happy to get back out of it just what he has in it. The problem is, he's kind of inflating the number he's giving us for what he's spent on it, and although we know better, calling him on it is not going to work in our favor. He also has to agree to buy our house for a decent price, which we're not too terribly worried about. 

And there are things that favor him in doing this deal with us. Like he will get a rental property out of it, and he also won't have to worry about selling his house on the open market (which is not so great right now), possibly delaying by months or longer his plan to move back home for good by the new year. But he's a guy who likes to make money (not criticizing), and this deal would not be a real moneymaker for him.

We would benefit by far more than he would. Not only would we be be getting our dream home, but we also wouldn't have to worry about getting our current house market ready, although there are a few minor repairs we would take care of anyway. But a cash buyer (which he would be) means no inspection process and having to fix every ding and scratch. It would also put us very, very close geographically to my parents, which is not such a huge deal now, but likely will be in the coming years when they will start to need assistance on a day to day basis. My mom is not in great health as it is, and I would like to be convenient to her should she need me to be, a likelihood I don't like to contemplate but can't deny. It will also make it easy for Nick to mow their yard for them when the time comes. 

This would be our forever home. As it sits it has the same number of bedrooms and bathrooms our current house has, but there's a huge finished basement the size of the rest of the house, already plumbed out for another bathroom and just waiting for us to turn it into a master suite, a laundry room, a bathroom, a craft room (!!!!!) and a small guest bedroom, all of which we could do with minimal cost and the help of my father-in-law the carpenter and my dad the former plumber.

This is not an impossible deal, but it will definitely be God working if it goes through, and we know that if it does not happen the way we're hoping, it's because He has a better plan. Worst case scenario, it doesn't happen and we stay in our current home, for now or from now on. And it's warm and solid and cozy, even if it is a bit cramped. We are so very blessed either way. So what I'm asking is for you all to pray that God's will be done here, and that if that plan does not include us getting this house, that Nick and I will be filled with peace and contentment and the assurance that He is still in control.

In about 17 hours we have a meeting with this gentleman, and hopefully we will know then whether or not we need to let this dream go. We're going to lay out for him what we hope to do and what we have to have to make that happen. If he doesn't agree, then we have to walk away. Please, if you are a praying person and don't mind do so, set an alarm on your phone for 7 PM EST and send up a prayer for God's sovereign will over this meeting and the whole situation. Love you guys!

Life lately and a meme

Ohhhh, this drives me crazy! I had this whole post typed up, then it disappeared. Like I have all this time to post and all! Anyway, let me try to hit the high lights:

Texas was great, lots of fun - Houston Museum of Natural Science, NASA, Kemah Boardwalk, TopGolf, shopping, swimming, bowling, eating, movies, hanging out with family. We left here July 26, the day after VBS and got there just after midnight Sunday morning. We left Texas the following Saturday afternoon and got home early Sunday morning. It was a wonderful trip!

Friday night Nick and I got to have a real live date night while Robert and Faith watched the kids.

My mom had a heart cath yesterday morning to check for blockage. She's had sudden, frequent weak spells for the last few months, and they were afraid it was her heart. The great news - not her heart. The not so great news - we still don't know what's causing them. So the search continues.

No spanking anytime recently, although heaven knows I tried to make it happen Friday night! But we ran out of time, and Nick is aware, so maybe it will be on the agenda sometime soon.

I found this meme over at Bonnie's new blog (Aren't you exited she's back? You didn't know? You should go check her out!) Anyway, I love memes, so I thought I'd play along.

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I think that was my sister-in-law, so that would be a no.
2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Incorrect, and that's sort of a presumptuous way to ask a question, don't you think?
3. Have you taken someone's virginity? Nick and I lost our virginity together on our wedding night.
4. Is trust a big issue for you? It's certainly very important.
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? I sleep with him every night
6. What are you excited for? Some prints of pictures I took of the kids to arrive.
7. What happened tonight? I fried up a whole lot of chicken.
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? Yes, have some respect for yourself!
9. Is confidence cute? Absolutely
10. What is the last beverage you had? Sweet tea
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? I would say 4
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? I do, but I don't know that they technically qualify as skinny on my non-skinny body.
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Nick has to work that day, so probably just hang out and unwind.
14. What are you going to spend money on next? probably groceries.
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? if by going out with you mean being married to, then yes.
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? probably in some small ways. I'm working on getting more organized.
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Nick
18. The last time you felt broken? I would say a couple of months ago
19. Have you had sex today? Nope
20. Are you starting to realize anything? There are a lot of these questions
21. Are you in a good mood? Sure, I guess so
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? I don't even like to swim with blue gill!
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? No, mine are blue and his are hazel
24. What do you want right this second? A large grape cream slush with Nerds candy from Sonic (Try it. You'll thank me.)
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Depends upon the circumstance
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Well, it's what my natural color used to be before I started going gray, if that counts.
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Fortunately, I don't have that problem
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Something Nick said.
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Most do, but not everyone
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Boy? That would be Jack, so no.
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? After all these years, I certainly hope so
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No, but I generally only have it if we go out to a nicer restaurant.
34. Listening to? The dishwasher running
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Very seldom, although I do enjoy a freshly sharpened pencil.
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? He's asleep in our bed
37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Maybe not real love, but I do believe you can have an instant connection. I definitely had that with Nick, and he tells me he had it with me too.
38. Who did you last call? My mom
39. Who was the last person you danced with? Jack.
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? It was a goodnight kiss.
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Um, April maybe? I think it was at Morgan's birthday party.
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? Yes, both of them
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Sure, many times.
44. Do you tan in the nude? I don't tan. I burn and peel, so I try to stay out of the sun unless I'm well protected.
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? No
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No
47. Who was the last person to call you? My mom.
48. Do you sing in the shower? Occasionally
49. Do you dance in the car? Sometimes with Morgan
50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? By a professional photographer would be the day Jack came home from the hospital.
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Some are, some are not
53. Is Christmas stressful? It has been in recent years, but I'm hoping it will be less so this time around.
54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yes
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? blackberry
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? A wife and mom (winning!)
57. Do you believe in ghosts? No, but I do believes in angels and demons
58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? Yes
59. Take a vitamin daily? No, but I should.
60. Wear slippers? No, but I wear flip flops pretty much always unless I'm in bed or in the shower.
61. Wear a bath robe? No
62. What do you wear to bed? panties and a tshirt.
63. First concert? Metallica, 1998
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target for fun stuff, Walmart for practical stuff
65. Nike or Adidas? Whichever is cheaper at the time.
66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? honey roasted peanuts
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? I'm not a huge fan, but I do kind of like that one that was in The Hunger Games movie.
69. Ever take dance lessons? No
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? I think I'll hang onto my mechanic husband. Although he did get offered a job teaching auto mechanics at a local high school the other day. It was too much of a pay cut for him to consider, but I have certainly enjoyed entertaining a few fantasies about my husband the stern teacher!
71. Can you curl your tongue? Yes. Jack learned to do it the other day too, and he was so proud of himself!
72. Ever won a spelling bee? Yes
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Sure
74. What is your favorite book? There are so many, but I'll always love Gone With the Wind.
75. Do you study better with or without music? Probably without
76. Regularly burn incense? Not regularly, although we used to when we were first married.
77. Ever been in love? Yes
78. Who would you like to see in concert? The Avett Brothers
79. What was the last concert you saw? I can't even remember
80. Hot tea or cold tea? Iced
81. Tea or coffee? Tea
82. Favorite type of cookie? Milano Lemon
83. Can you swim well? Reasonably so
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes
85. Are you patient? I try to be
86. DJ or band, at a wedding? We didn't have either
87. Ever won a contest? Yes
88. Ever have plastic surgery? Nope
89. Which are better black or green olives? Black on pizza/other dishes, green to eat by themselves.
90. Opinions on sex before marriage? I'm glad we waited.
91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room.
92. Do you want to get married? Not again

July so far...

Did everyone have a nice 4th of July? Ours was quite lovely. We actually went to my parents' house the day before for a cookout, and it was a lot of fun having all 6 of their grandkids under one roof, especially since 5 of them are 4 years and under. :) Of course they're all together every week at church, but it was nice to have them where they could get down and play and make lots of noise. The actual 4th we went up to Nick's grandparents' cabin on the lake. It was wonderful! We had great food, fishing and swimming, and when it got dark, some of us went out on the pontoon boat and watched the fireworks going off all over the lake. 

I've really missed the cabin. We spent our honeymoon there, and every June for years we would go back for a family June birthday party and then stay for several days to celebrate our anniversary. For the last three years Nick has used his free week of vacation for church camp, so we've not gotten to stay for the week since 2010, and in 2011 we just had a weekend there. This was the first year at least as long as we've been married that they've not had a June birthday party, which was sad.

This year he gets 3 weeks vacation, and we were so looking forward to having a week there again. Unfortunately, since Nick's grandfather passed away, his grandmother has been getting more skittish about life in general, and she told us at Easter that she didn't think she was going to let anyone stay up there anymore. When Nick's dad opened the cabin up for the season there were some plumbing problems that had appeared over the winter, and I guess she's paranoid that someone will tear something up and Nick's grandfather is no longer here to fix things. This is disappointing to be sure, but we're hoping and praying that she will come around. 

Saturday we took the kids to the mountains and just walked around and had fun as a family, which was such a precious gift. God has been so good to provide us some financial ease recently, and it was wonderful to be able to have time with family on all three days and not have to scramble for money for gas or food to take to the celebrations.

Another blessing was that my parents found a killer deal on an upgraded washer and dryer a few weeks ago, and they passed their old set on to us. Obviously it was used, but definitely an upgrade to our washer and dryer, both of which were close to wearing out entirely. We were hoping to make it to next income tax return time so that we could buy a new set, so this was a real blessing. It's actually made laundry a much more pleasant chore. :)

I did end up getting a spanking after all. He planned to get to it Friday night after the kids were in bed, but he fell asleep on the couch. Then he planned to handle it Saturday night, but we got home late, and when he was ready to do it and go to bed, the girls were still awake (although they were in bed). So he decided that he would set the alarm early and do it before church. He was quite prepared to wake me up and paddle me (a rude awakening indeed), but his alarm also woke the girls up, and they came piling upstairs (saved by the bell!). 

Finally Sunday night the stars aligned and he took me upstairs to meet my fate. Forty or so swats with the Patty paddle from Cane-iac over my jeans might not sound so bad, but 4 months is a long time to go between spankings, and I was definitely on fire from the start. But it was exactly what I needed, and I've rediscovered my motivation for housework since lol. Now if I could just rediscover the same motivation to get to bed on time!

Anniversary Week

How's everyone doing? It's been a busy couple of weeks for us. After camp I had to get 4 photo sessions finished, as well as an Etsy order filled, and several birthday gifts made, some of which I'm still working on.

Mine and Nick's 16th anniversary was on the 26th, which was a Thursday. He had to work that day, and that evening we had a memorial service to attend for a friend from church who lost his battle with cancer earlier that week, so there wasn't really any time to celebrate. But after the memorial service, my mom and dad did take both Morgan and Daisy home with them, so we took Jack and went and had a lovely dinner together.

The next day Nick told me to meet him after work for a surprise. I took the kids shopping at a Burke's Outlet and found a cute outfit to wear on our date for a great price. Then I dropped the kids off at my parents' house and headed out to meet Nick. He surprised me with a yummy dinner of fish tacos and an art class! It was one of those places where you all paint the same thing and follow along with the instructor, and you can bring food and drinks to enjoy while you paint. I did one of these classes a couple of years ago with a girlfriend and had a blast, and I'd mentioned several times how much I wanted to do one with Nick, so this was an awesome surprise! The instructor offered an option to split the painting with your partner so you didn't take two mostly identical paintings home to the same house, so I painted the left side of the scene on my canvas, and Nick painted the right side on his. The painting we did was loosely based on Van Gogh's Starry Night, which I've always loved. We'd love to do this for our anniversary every year if we can. How cool would it be to someday have all those paintings to represent our years together?

Theoretically, there's supposed to be a spanking in the near future, but honestly I think he may have tabled it. He first mentioned it a couple of weeks ago, and I think maybe by this point he's decided not to do it, which is fine with me!

We've got VBS coming up in a few weeks, and I'm in charge of crafts again, which should be fun. And after that we go to Texas! Yay - I can't wait! Anyway, I'm off to bed. Have a great 4th of July!

Hello, remember me?

Gosh, it's been over a month since I posted here! Life has been full and very blessed. God really showed up in a big way at the end of last month and put some things in place for us financially that I could have never imagined. I can't go into details here, but suffice it to say we have a bit more breathing room now.

We just got back from a week at church camp, and it was awesome! We had 13 kids saved, and many more make renewed dedications to Christ. One of the girls who got saved is one of Morgan's very best friend, and I couldn't be more pleased with what a change it already seems to have made in her!

Jenni commented a couple of weeks ago and asked if there's been any spanking lately. The short answer is no. There was one kind of threatened before we went to camp, but I think he's probably let it go since he didn't have a chance to deal with it before we left. Also, I've been a bit sick since we got back, which always seems to happen when we go on vacation of any sort.

Right now I've got some catching up to do here at home, as well as work on some photo shoots and make some birthday gifts. Hopefully I'll get a chance to pop back in here before too long. :)

Mother's Day, etc.

Hi, guys. I know I've been really absent here lately. I've not forgotten about the blog - I've just been really busy. Morgan's party went really well. There were tons of crafts, and everybody had a lot of fun. 

Easter was spent at Nick's grandmother's house, which was nice. I made Daisy's Easter dress, which turned out surprisingly well, along with a matching one for a doll, and she loved them both.

At the beginning of the month Kate and Will went to the Kentucky Derby and left Maddox and Kit here with family for the weekend. They actually came in on the 1st, and Kelly went into labor the same day. Kit and Maddox were supposed to stay with my in-laws, but they had Logan at their house while Kelly was in the hospital. Maddox is 4 and can be kind of a handful, and Logan is 19 months old and right in that crazy toddler stage, so they had Maddox stay with us, and Morgan stayed there with Kit and Logan. It was fun to have him stay with us, but exhausting.

The new baby girl is precious and perfect, and I even got to be there when she was born, something I didn't expect.

I've been doing some things to further my crafting, which I won't go into here, but it's keeping me busy.

Mother's Day was...kind of sad. Money is non-existent for us right now, so I didn't expect any gifts from Nick or the kids, and I was really, truly okay with that. But there wasn't much in the way of celebration at all. Morgan was frankly sullen when Nick told her to load the dishwasher so I could fix lunch.  I made Mother's Day gifts for Faith, Kelly, and Melanie, which I do every year, or at least as long as they've been pregnant or mothers, which started two years ago for Kelly and last year for Faith and Melanie. And I don't do that because I expect something back - I really don't. But I had to ask each of them later on if they opened their gifts before I even got a thank you, which made me feel a little...unappreciated. 

To be honest, it wasn't that bad of a day. Even if my sisters-in-law and my friend didn't remember me on Mother's Day, my sweet mom got me a stationary set, and my in-laws got me a geranium, which was precious and unnecessary. And God has blessed me so very much. Right now there is a family on my Facebook feed living the final days of their five-year old son's losing battle with cancer. There's a blog I'm following written by a midwife who just spent her first Mother's Day missing her baby girl who lived 6 hours and died in her arms a few months ago. She's facing a return to her job this month where she will work every day caring for women with healthy pregnancies while she mourns the loss of her own child. We may not have been able to go out for a fancy Mother's Day lunch or dinner, but there was food to put on the table, and it was delicious, even if I had to cook it.

I told Nick tonight that I really think what would help tremendously is for us to have more date nights. We've actually not had one since last year, which is not great considering we're almost halfway through May now. But my parents have been watching Robert and Faith's baby Liam a lot. He's not crawling yet, which makes him an easy baby to watch right now, which my crazy two year old is certainly not. Not that Jack is poorly behaved - he's not. He's just, you know, two. And Morgan of course watches herself but she's not really much help with the other two. Daisy wants my mom to actively play with her, and well, there are three of them in all, and it's just a lot more work.

Nick's dad and stepmom have never really been great about babysitting for us, although they love the kids. But even so, they babysit Logan for Grant and Kelly quite a bit, and with the new baby girl they've been helping even more, which leaves no time for us, should they even by willing. A couple of weeks ago when Nick came home Jack was literally hanging off my neck and Daisy had thrown herself into my lap where she was trying to rock herself like a baby in my arms. He took one look at me and told Morgan she was watching them for a few minutes while we took a walk. We just went around our neighborhood and Morgan complained about it on Facebook while we were gone, but that 20 minutes alone with Nick did me a lot of good. I think we need to try harder to carve out more stolen moments like that.

Anyway, how have you guys been? Anything cool happen for Mother's Day for you?

Happy Easter!

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Happy Easter, everyone! I know I've been absent around here. I've had my hands full, but when I get the chance I'll pop back in. The party went great, and I've got lots of things to report. See you soon!

Answered prayers

Thank you so much for all your prayers. God did indeed come through for us. My mom and dad were able to let us borrow the money we needed, and they even gave us an extra $100 to go on that does not need to be repaid. 

Another item on my prayer list lately was that God would provide a way for us to make it to Texas this year. As I've mentioned, we go every year to spend a week with Kate and Will and their kids. It's always a dear luxury, because gas alone is usually $500-$600. Add in possibly a hotel on the way down (it's about a 15 hour trip), not to mention snacks for the road and a meal or two on the way, and we're in pretty deep financially just getting there and back. One year Kate and Will flew us down, one year we drove down with Grant and Kelly and split the gas, and the last couple of years we've been able to take out a loan from Nick's 401K to make the trip. But this year we're still paying back previous loans, and we're struggling more than ever to just make ends meet. 

We had talked about it, and come to the realization that we were more than likely not going to be able to swing it this year. This was an especially big disappointment, because it was going to be just us this year. Because Kelly's baby is due this month and they will have two babies under two, she and Grant decided to skip the trip this year. We knew we would miss them, but we were also really looking forward to having Kate and Will all to ourselves for the first time ever. 

A couple of days ago Nick was talking to Kate, and he let her know that we would not be able to make it this year. She immediately told him to go ahead and ask for the time off and that they would make sure we were able to come. He told her that it was not a plea for money (and it wasn't! But we did need to let them know sooner rather than later so that they knew they wouldn't be hosting us that week). In the end he left it as planning to go down with the stipulation that we would let her know if we needed the help.

It's been hard for both of us to let go of our pride when it comes to accepting help, whether from my parents or his sister or anyone else. But God has certainly humbled us over the years, and taught us that often when we are in a position to need the help, He's using the situation to also bring blessings to the people who are following His lead to provide that help.

Anyway, I'm headed up to bed soon. Love you guys!

Prayer Request

Hi, guys. Things are good here, just working through my still growing to-do list. :) I do have a favor to ask of you. If you're a praying person, I sure could use your prayers this weekend. Tomorrow I have to go pay a car payment. Monday I have to pay a house payment. I don't have the money for either one, and I have no idea where it's coming from. If I can pull together $300 this weekend (somehow??), it will cover the car payment, but that leaves the (even bigger) house payment, and I am OUT OF TIME on both. Nick's next check also has more than usual that has to come out of it, and it will be short a day through no fault of his own, although that's a story for another day. Please pray with me that God provides for these needs. I know that He can do this, and I have faith that He will. 

We've been here before. I mean right here. Just a few months ago in fact, and God showed up in a big way. I know that He can do it again. I want you guys to know that I appreciate being able to come here to people that really care about me, and it means the world to me that I can ask you guys to pray with me and know that you will! Thank you all! :)

The past couple of weeks...

So just a quick post to catch up on the couple of weeks. Let's see...Kelly's baby shower was the 9th of this month. I had planned all kinds of things to make for her. Unfortunately for my timeline (but not for our church), we had revival at church the week before, which kind of killed any crafting time I had. The revival was over Friday, but I had some errands to run Saturday and Nick was also working, so I didn't get any real time at the sewing machine until that night after the kids were asleep. One thing Kelly had actually requested was one of these:

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I made one for both Faith and Melanie a few months ago, and they loved them, so I did one for Kelly too. Then I started on some burp cloths. A few months ago my trusty iron that I got for my wedding quit on me. I was going to go buy one, but my mom, frequenter of estate auctions, had several, so she just gave me one of her extras. It had been working great, so when I plugged it up that night I was expecting no trouble. But when I took my fabric to the ironing board several minutes later, it was stone cold. No amount of turning it off and on or cord wiggling or new outlet trying could coax the least bit of heat from it. So I found myself heading to Wal-mart at 1 AM to buy a replacement. I went back and forth and finally decided on one of the least expensive models. When I got back home and opened it, I was most irritated to find that the whole tip of the iron plate was broken off! I couldn't see myself making another trip, so I just used it as it was and decided to return it the next day.

I did the carrier handle cushion, two burp cloths, and three skirts. Nick, who had fallen asleep on the couch, woke up about 4:30, just after I finished the first skirt. I told him my whole iron saga, and he didn't seem terribly upset that I was still up. He headed up to bed, and I told him I would be up shortly. Unfortunately, shortly turned into 6:30. 

The next day at lunch Nick asked me what time I'd come to bed, and he wasn't happy with the answer, especially since we had all ended up oversleeping and missed church that morning. (Not entirely my fault I don't think. It was Daylight Saving Time change weekend, and he overslept too!) But I didn't realize I was in trouble until that evening.

Nick runs the sound booth during our church services, so it's rare for us to get to sit together. Occasionally we will shoot each other short texts (generally not during the preaching). This was the conversation we had:

(Me) So sleepy...

(Him) Maybe if you went to bed at 2 instead of 6:30...

(Me) Possibly

(Him) Probably

(Me) I'm unconvinced.

(Him) Later I'll show you.

(Me) Nah, I'm good.

(Him) Too bad. It's already been earned.

(Me) You're no fun.

He didn't get a chance to do it for a couple of days, but finally Wednesday night at bedtime he had me come up with him. There was some lecturing, and I did plenty of assuring him that I was sorry and that I understood why I have a bedtime and why it doesn't work for the family for me to stay up all night, but there was no real question that I would be getting a spanking. He got a new tactical belt for Christmas, and he decided to try it out. It was the first time I've ever been spanked with a nylon belt, but it was very thick and stiff, and every bit as painful as leather. It was also very loud. I don't know how many licks I got, but enough to make me very glad when it was over. 

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The good news is that Kelly loved all her stuff. I was also able to make her a few of the other things on my list (before bedtime!) and take them to her at church Wednesday. All the pictures of the stuff I gave her at her shower include her in them, so I can't post them here, but I did think to snap a picture of the items I made later: another skirt, two pairs of shoes, a nursing scarf (the gray fabric) and a diaper clutch (to keep a few diapers and a small case of wipes in for quick changes on the go).

Friday I got to go to Melanie's house along with Kelly and one of her friends, and Melanie taught us the basics of crochet. It's something I've wanted to learn for ages, and it was a lot of fun having some girl time. 

On Saturday Morgan had her first soccer game. They lost, but only by one point, and her team is quite good this season. Afterwards we went to McDonald's and let the kids play on the play equipment. Jack and Daisy had a blast, and of course Morgan was too cool to play on it, but was gracious enough to climb up in there to keep an eye on Jack for us. Morgan has been struggling lately with some teen angst issues, and they've been manifesting themselves in some unhealthy ways. She's started doing a bit better, but I would really appreciate your prayers for her (and us as we parent her!). 

Saturday afternoon I did three month pictures for Brandon and Melanie's baby boy J, and it was exhausting! Fortunately my sweet husband fixed dinner for me. :)

Sunday night there was huge drama. Daisy...cut her hair! And I don't mean a little bit. She basically butchered it. Nick flipped out. He was furious! I wasn't thrilled about it either, but well, it's kind of something a lot of three and four year olds do at one time or another. I called Nick's stepmom (who does our hair), and she agreed to come and try to fix it the next day. When she saw it, she was kind of taken aback, but I told her we knew it was going to have to be pretty short, so she waded in. There were spots that were less than an inch long, so she ended up with a pixie cut, almost exactly like Maggie Gyllenhaal here, but a little shorter around the ears:

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Guys, I wish I could post a picture here, because she looks so freaking CUTE! I was resigned to it because it was better than the cut she gave herself - I didn't expect to love it! She has these big huge Disney Princess eyes like Katy Perry, so she still looks very girly, and with her dimples she looks like a mischievous woodland sprite, or a miniature Audrey Hepburn (although Audrey didn't have those dimples)! I'm sure we'll let it grow back out, but for now I'm glad we were forced into a cut we would've never had the nerve to get on our own!

Today Elizabeth came over for a while. She had laundry she needed to do and no money to do it (they use a laundromat), and I needed help unburying my kitchen table (which is going to get me spanked again if it's not done by Friday). So I let her use our washer and dryer, and she helped me clean. 

I've got so much stuff to do in the next few weeks! A list:

Skirts (2) for craft exchange

Shoes for craft exchange

Ring for craft exchange

Pillow Cover for craft exchange

Acorn Pillow for craft exchange

Pack gnome figurine and ribbon for craft exchange

10 xl pom poms for cupcake liners/garland

Make cupcake garland

Make 15 makeup bags

String washers for washer necklaces

Make 15 Rosettes for necklaces

String Rosettes

Make 15 Leather Bow Barrettes

Make brush pouch for nail brushes

Make pillowcase shirt for Morgan

Finish J's pictures

Easter bunnies for Logan, A, and J

Make shirts into short sleeves for Maddox

Leather envelope, Knot Bracelet and leather barrette and bracelet for Kit

Mail Easter stuff for Maddox and Kit

Make Daisy's Easter dress

Mother's Day gifts - stitch markers, dish cloths (crocheted)

Order of three pillow covers for Faith.

Anyway, I'm off to bed so I can get some rest and got some of this stuff done!