I found this gem over at Domestic Discipline Diary. Thanks, Janeen!
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Monday, June 05, 2006
Bachelor's Degree
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Wheeee!
I've actually got a bruised bottom! Yippee! Okay, sounds crazy, I know. But I never mark anymore, and I happen to love spanking marks. When Nick first started spanking me I was a tiny little undernourished thing who bruised if you gave me a dirty look, and just his hand turned my fragile little bottom into a mass of bruises. Of course that was 8 years and many pounds ago. Plus, usually I get paddled with rather more frequency than once a month these days, so usually I develop a bit of a tolerance for it, or at least my bottom doesn't bruise like it used to.
But yesterday's run-in with Jokari left me with a considerably large oval shaped reminder in a lovely shade of purple, as well as an ambitious smattering of reddish purple spots all over the rest of the targeted area. Why do I love marks so much? I certainly wasn't very happy while I was getting them. But I needed the spanking, and having visible evidence that it happened is a very erotic reminder to me that Nick loves me enough to have given it to me. And that's always sexy...
But yesterday's run-in with Jokari left me with a considerably large oval shaped reminder in a lovely shade of purple, as well as an ambitious smattering of reddish purple spots all over the rest of the targeted area. Why do I love marks so much? I certainly wasn't very happy while I was getting them. But I needed the spanking, and having visible evidence that it happened is a very erotic reminder to me that Nick loves me enough to have given it to me. And that's always sexy...
Updates
Okay, I've got all kinds of links to update. But first of all I want to say a huge thank you to Bonnie for a lovely post on her blog. Thank you!
Sue has moved her blog to Typepad, so check her out at All Kinds of Everything.
Good Angel has moved to Dangerous Curves Ahead.
Go visit Tigger at A Spanking Good Time.
Storm Rider and Wind Walker have joined blogs at Storm & Wind.
Also, check out a fantastic blog at PaulSez.
Enjoy!
Sue has moved her blog to Typepad, so check her out at All Kinds of Everything.
Good Angel has moved to Dangerous Curves Ahead.
Go visit Tigger at A Spanking Good Time.
Storm Rider and Wind Walker have joined blogs at Storm & Wind.
Also, check out a fantastic blog at PaulSez.
Enjoy!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Renewed...
This morning I got a long hard spanking. Well, it probably wasn't really that hard, but it's been over a month since I'd had a serious spanking, and over three weeks since I'd been spanked even for fun. You could say that my butt wasn't quite as tough as it used to be.
This was probably more punishment than anything else, considering we'd spent the first part of the morning doing some heavy cleaning on the bedroom. I lay on the bed, and Nick pulled down my jeans and panties. He held me close and alternated between his hand, the AngelBrat paddle, and Jokari. It didn't take much to get me in tears, which was exactly where I needed to be. Afterwards he brought me to a fantastic orgasm, and I returned the favor with my lips. It was so much what I needed, and I felt completely renewed and so close to him.
Thank you, Sugar!
This was probably more punishment than anything else, considering we'd spent the first part of the morning doing some heavy cleaning on the bedroom. I lay on the bed, and Nick pulled down my jeans and panties. He held me close and alternated between his hand, the AngelBrat paddle, and Jokari. It didn't take much to get me in tears, which was exactly where I needed to be. Afterwards he brought me to a fantastic orgasm, and I returned the favor with my lips. It was so much what I needed, and I felt completely renewed and so close to him.
Thank you, Sugar!
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
I'm still kickin'
I'm still here - I know I've been pretty absent here for the last week or so. Things have just been incredibly busy. Saturday a friend watched Morgan so that Nick and I could visit a water park we bought season passes to this year. Morgan had never been, and filled with a five-year-old's typical skepticism for all things new, she'd been declaring for weeks that she didn't want to go. Well, we knew that once she actually went she'd be singing a different tune, so when R offered to babysit, we jumped on the opportunity to do the grown-up tour (actually riding big slides, etc...). We had such a blast that we decided to go back the next day after church and take her with us. Of course she loved it!
Since then both Nick and I have been battling the sniffles combined with an attempted uprising of the sinus crud we dealt with in February. Monday I was off, but he had to work, so there wasn't really anything special for Memorial Day.
Spanking has been pretty non-existent for a few weeks now, although hopefully that will change soon, because I'm starting to get pretty antsy, and I can feel myself getting to the point of need.
Since then both Nick and I have been battling the sniffles combined with an attempted uprising of the sinus crud we dealt with in February. Monday I was off, but he had to work, so there wasn't really anything special for Memorial Day.
Spanking has been pretty non-existent for a few weeks now, although hopefully that will change soon, because I'm starting to get pretty antsy, and I can feel myself getting to the point of need.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
A Call to Arms, er, Pens...
Okay, Nick and I are HUGE fans of the ridiculously addictive show "Lost." HUGE fans. And any other fans out there know that last night was the season finale. So tonight, Lost on the brain, I hopped online to see if I could find any Lost spanking stories. And...there...were...none. NONE! Now there are all kinds of manly men and feisty women on Lost (Sawyer and Kate anyone?). And all those whippy jungle switches! So here's my challenge: I'd love for some of the readers here to come up with Lost spanking stories of their own. I'll post (and credit however you choose) any that you send me via email. Or if you have your own blog and would rather post your story there, send me a link and I'll link it here. Get to writin', Losties!
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
New Links...
I've found a few new blogs that I wanted to link. Enjoy!
Thoughts for my Master
Slave
Just Because
Fantastic Spanking
Designing Intimacy
Rhapsody in Red
Twice as Bright
The Thoughtful and Curious Spankee
Where the Girls Are
Thoughts for my Master
Slave
Just Because
Fantastic Spanking
Designing Intimacy
Rhapsody in Red
Twice as Bright
The Thoughtful and Curious Spankee
Where the Girls Are
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Super cool Mother's Day gift
My amazing and somewhat overindulgent husband bought me an iPod nano for Mother's Day! I mentioned the other day that I'd like an iPod, and he came home and suprised me with this today. So I've been downloading all of our CDs all afternoon. It holds 500 songs, and I can't wait to get it filled up. Thank you soooo much, Baby!Sadly very very late...
Okay, way back in March Smart N Naughty tagged me for this, and somehow I missed it. And I looove getting tagged for stuff! Honestly! I'm totally cheesy - sometimes if I don't get tagged, I play along anyway. So of course when I do get tagged I completely miss it. I'm sooo sorry SNN! But I'm going to play now. 
Seven things that make me mad (in no particular order):
1. People who are rude to perfect strangers on the phone. I work in customer service for a large financial institution, and nothing makes me angrier than people who call me, who they've never met or spoken to before, and take out every bit of their poor math skills, timing, judgment, breeding, etc on me. Would you talk this way to your boss, or your pastor, or your neighbor? Probably not, and the very fact that I'm a human being demands that you don't talk that way to me!
2. Reeeeeaaaalllyyy slow drivers.
3. People who think that any form of discipline (corporal or otherwise)
is bad thing for kids.
4. People who hurt kids and call it discipline.
5. Gas prices.
6. Husbands and wives who don't appreciate each other.
7. When Blogger eats my posts. (Yes, I know I'm tempting the fates here).
Seven thing that make me happy.
1. My God.
2. My family
3. Um, spanking.
4. My new ipod nano (thanks, baby!)
5. Snuggling
6. Sex, sex, sex!
7. The lake.
Seven fun things I'd like to be paid for doing.
1. Reading
2. Writing
3. Testing sex toys (although doing for free is pretty great too).
4. Taking random internet memes.
5. Sleeping
6. Watching TV
7. Testing how much is just enough of a good thing.
Hehehe...that was fun - thanks SNN!
Seven things that make me mad (in no particular order):
1. People who are rude to perfect strangers on the phone. I work in customer service for a large financial institution, and nothing makes me angrier than people who call me, who they've never met or spoken to before, and take out every bit of their poor math skills, timing, judgment, breeding, etc on me. Would you talk this way to your boss, or your pastor, or your neighbor? Probably not, and the very fact that I'm a human being demands that you don't talk that way to me!
2. Reeeeeaaaalllyyy slow drivers.
3. People who think that any form of discipline (corporal or otherwise)
is bad thing for kids.
4. People who hurt kids and call it discipline.
5. Gas prices.
6. Husbands and wives who don't appreciate each other.
7. When Blogger eats my posts. (Yes, I know I'm tempting the fates here).
Seven thing that make me happy.
1. My God.
2. My family
3. Um, spanking.
4. My new ipod nano (thanks, baby!)
5. Snuggling
6. Sex, sex, sex!
7. The lake.
Seven fun things I'd like to be paid for doing.
1. Reading
2. Writing
3. Testing sex toys (although doing for free is pretty great too).
4. Taking random internet memes.
5. Sleeping
6. Watching TV
7. Testing how much is just enough of a good thing.
Hehehe...that was fun - thanks SNN!
Friday, May 12, 2006
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Puzzle Fun
Hehehe...the rest of the story...
Last night was SO AMAZING! And to be honest, I kind of thought he might have forgotten what we'd planned. But nope! After we watched our Tuesday night favorites (House and Boston Legal), Nick looked over at Morgan and started making "Don't you look sleepy!" sounds. Of course she was no such thing, but since Mommy and Daddy had commandeered the TV for the last two hours, she was happy to spend some time with the PowerPuff Girls.
We got her set up with the TV, and I fairly skipped up the stairs with Nick close behind. In the bedroom I stripped to my panties and hopped into bed. He got down the AngelBrat paddle and joined me. He got in a few easy swats before I asked him to pretty please because I would really enjoy it start off with his hand.
Now I don't get spanked with his hand very often (excluding the hundreds of random swats I get on a daily basis just for walking by).
And I can probably count on one hand the number of punishment spankings I've gotten with his hand (although they've all been quite effective); so for me, his hand is a very erotic implement. I wasn't disappointed last night. He pulled down my panties and spanked just right, hard enough to really feel it, but right in the sweet zone, not too high or too low.
After getting me nice and warmed up, he put his hand to work another way, stopping occasionally to stoke the fire on my bottom. Pretty soon I was starting to fly, and the Lady Elizabeth bath brush began to sound pretty good. The idea became insistent enough for me to stop and ask him to get it down. He obligingly retrieved it and concentrated on spanking for a bit. It wasn't long until I was begging for his hand back between my legs, and he added that to the spanking. It didn't take too awful much of that combination to send me soaring over the edge.
I'm not absolutely sure, but I think he may have heard Morgan moving around, and he got up and double checked the lock on the door. Either way, when he turned back to the bed I was on my knees with my nicely toasted butt thrust high. He didn't wait for the written invitation. WEG.
It was an incredibly hot and sexy night...thank you, Baby!
Image by ScottyBot
We got her set up with the TV, and I fairly skipped up the stairs with Nick close behind. In the bedroom I stripped to my panties and hopped into bed. He got down the AngelBrat paddle and joined me. He got in a few easy swats before I asked him to pretty please because I would really enjoy it start off with his hand.
Now I don't get spanked with his hand very often (excluding the hundreds of random swats I get on a daily basis just for walking by).
And I can probably count on one hand the number of punishment spankings I've gotten with his hand (although they've all been quite effective); so for me, his hand is a very erotic implement. I wasn't disappointed last night. He pulled down my panties and spanked just right, hard enough to really feel it, but right in the sweet zone, not too high or too low.
After getting me nice and warmed up, he put his hand to work another way, stopping occasionally to stoke the fire on my bottom. Pretty soon I was starting to fly, and the Lady Elizabeth bath brush began to sound pretty good. The idea became insistent enough for me to stop and ask him to get it down. He obligingly retrieved it and concentrated on spanking for a bit. It wasn't long until I was begging for his hand back between my legs, and he added that to the spanking. It didn't take too awful much of that combination to send me soaring over the edge.
I'm not absolutely sure, but I think he may have heard Morgan moving around, and he got up and double checked the lock on the door. Either way, when he turned back to the bed I was on my knees with my nicely toasted butt thrust high. He didn't wait for the written invitation. WEG.
It was an incredibly hot and sexy night...thank you, Baby!
Image by ScottyBot
Friday, May 05, 2006
Burning Rubber...
I want one. Terribly badly. Wouldn't it look great with "AngelBrat" emblazoned across it? And you know, Nick is a car guy...
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Woman...
The other day on Grey's Anatomy, heart patient Denny growled at his (very hot of couse) female doctor Izzy when she tried to give him some medical advice he didn't want. "You're not the boss of me today, woman!"
"See! It's not just me!" proclaimed my pretty darn hot himself husband. "Woman!" is something that Nick says to me a lot. It's never insulting or condescending. It's not said in an I-can't-bother-with-your-name kind of way. It's said in a "I am man, you are woman, and there are certain things that means!" kind of way. And it's SO. FREAKIN. SEXY. When he says that to me I get that sudden drop in my stomach that means here comes horniness! It's the same feeling I get when he calls me Young Lady or Baby Girl. I have a friend that just goes boneless when her husband calls her Shorty. And I get it. I so so so so get it.
It means he loves me, he wants me, and most of all, that he knows that I'm his. Mmmm! This woman is going to go climb in bed with her MAN!
"See! It's not just me!" proclaimed my pretty darn hot himself husband. "Woman!" is something that Nick says to me a lot. It's never insulting or condescending. It's not said in an I-can't-bother-with-your-name kind of way. It's said in a "I am man, you are woman, and there are certain things that means!" kind of way. And it's SO. FREAKIN. SEXY. When he says that to me I get that sudden drop in my stomach that means here comes horniness! It's the same feeling I get when he calls me Young Lady or Baby Girl. I have a friend that just goes boneless when her husband calls her Shorty. And I get it. I so so so so get it.
It means he loves me, he wants me, and most of all, that he knows that I'm his. Mmmm! This woman is going to go climb in bed with her MAN!
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Return to Halcyon...
Well I got that spanking tonight. It turned out to be a lot shorter than I expected, but much, much harder, so I guess the end result was the same. 
It's been a little while since we've used the AngelBrat paddle, and as always when I've had some distance, I'd forgotten just what a punch it packed. I don't know how many I got, mostly because I spent almost the whole time squirming around like I was on fire (which my butt happened to be). But by then end, I had surrendered to the tears, and I held steady for the last 30 or so. That was a few hours ago, and now I'm peaceful and sleepy and more than a little horny.
It's been a little while since we've used the AngelBrat paddle, and as always when I've had some distance, I'd forgotten just what a punch it packed. I don't know how many I got, mostly because I spent almost the whole time squirming around like I was on fire (which my butt happened to be). But by then end, I had surrendered to the tears, and I held steady for the last 30 or so. That was a few hours ago, and now I'm peaceful and sleepy and more than a little horny.
Lucky Me!
I have the honor of being the very first blog reviewed on the brand new Veronica Lane Reviews Sex Blogs. Thank you for a very kind post, Veronica! We look forward to reading about all the fabulous bloggers out there!
Monday, April 24, 2006
Happy Birthday to the two most important people in my life!
Today was Nick's and Morgan's birthday. Morgan turned 5, and Nick turned 27. Morgan (big girl that she is) got mostly clothes from us (and loved them all - such a little fashionista!). We also got her a TV/VCR/DVD player combo for her room in fond hopes that she'll actually sleep there and let is have our bed back. WEG. We didn't do a whole lot of toys this year (she has enough!), but she was very happy with all of her gifts, especially her new "big girl" sunglasses, and Tinker Bell purse.
I got Nick a silve
r bracelet he's been looking for, a gas grill to finally replace the one that went kaput 3 years ago, new Adidas, and Burberry cologne (yummy!). My amazing husband ended up buying me two shirts, a skirt, perfume, sunglasses, and a silver bracelet of my own! 
He's so very good to me!! Happy birthday Sweetie!!!
I got Nick a silve
He's so very good to me!! Happy birthday Sweetie!!!
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Bored
I'm going nuts here. Nick's at a bachelor's party for his old roommate, which he left for pretty much as soon as he got home from work, so I've been basically hanging out doing nothing very interesting today. I worked on the house for a bit, have been playing online off and on all day, and am now back while Morgan's playing in the bath (attached bath, maybe 15 ft. away, door open - I know what that kid can get into as soon as you turn your head.
).
I should have an article up soon on South Coast Pleasure on my writer's page. Amy asked me a week or so ago to write one up on what I love about spanking, which was a fun one to do.
(I've been dying to use that smiley lol). I sent it in this morning. Hope y'all enjoy!
One good thing is that I got to catch up on a few blogs. This little tidbit from Sar cracked me up:
"(The rabbi ate a LOT of the honey baked ham. Tsk and double tsk.) Cowboy said I should have had something else for the man to eat - like a roast or turkey. I asked the rabbi in advance what he wanted and he told me he'd have whatever we were having. I repeated this to the squid who rolled his eyes and said the man was just being polite. Polite? Polite would have been if he asked for the recipe. Tsk. "
And I totally wasn't tagged for this, but I stole it from Bonnie anyway, because it looked like fun:
Twenty years ago, I...
Was in the third grade
Became a Christian
Ten years ago, I...
Was a very bad girl...
Five years ago, I...
Gave birth
Lived in a trailer
Didn't really get spanked.
Three years ago, I...
Wasn't nearly as happy as I am now.
One year ago, I...
Started this blog
Celebrated our 1 year DD anniversary
Celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary
Got promoted at work
So far this year, I...
Had my one year blogging anniversary.
Started 3 other (private) blogs.
Learned a little about HTML.
Am seriously considering a new church.
Trusted someone new.
Have gotten spanked almost enough for this point in the year.
Became a writer/reviewer for South Coast Pleasure.
Am even more in love with my husband.
Yesterday, I...
Had a stupid argument
Cried about it.
Put gas in my car
Refilled my birth control
Today, I...
Ate some spaghetti.
Loaded the dishwasher twice.
Played online.
Took the dirty laundry downstairs.
Had to chase down our dog twice when Morgan accidentally let her out.
Read part of a Glamour.
Tomorrow, I...
Plan to go to church.
Really hope I get a nice long spanking.
Will hopefully get to go shopping for Morgan's birthday.
Will hopefully be DONE with my period so I can GET LAID!
In the next year I...
Want to take a big vacation
Want to be a better, more obedient wife.
Want to pay off some bills.
Want to advance at work.
Anyway, I've puttered around here enough, I suppose. Have a great night!
).I should have an article up soon on South Coast Pleasure on my writer's page. Amy asked me a week or so ago to write one up on what I love about spanking, which was a fun one to do.
(I've been dying to use that smiley lol). I sent it in this morning. Hope y'all enjoy!One good thing is that I got to catch up on a few blogs. This little tidbit from Sar cracked me up:
"(The rabbi ate a LOT of the honey baked ham. Tsk and double tsk.) Cowboy said I should have had something else for the man to eat - like a roast or turkey. I asked the rabbi in advance what he wanted and he told me he'd have whatever we were having. I repeated this to the squid who rolled his eyes and said the man was just being polite. Polite? Polite would have been if he asked for the recipe. Tsk. "
And I totally wasn't tagged for this, but I stole it from Bonnie anyway, because it looked like fun:
Twenty years ago, I...
Was in the third grade
Became a Christian
Ten years ago, I...
Was a very bad girl...
Five years ago, I...
Gave birth
Lived in a trailer
Didn't really get spanked.
Three years ago, I...
Wasn't nearly as happy as I am now.
One year ago, I...
Started this blog
Celebrated our 1 year DD anniversary
Celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary
Got promoted at work
So far this year, I...
Had my one year blogging anniversary.
Started 3 other (private) blogs.
Learned a little about HTML.
Am seriously considering a new church.
Trusted someone new.
Have gotten spanked almost enough for this point in the year.
Became a writer/reviewer for South Coast Pleasure.
Am even more in love with my husband.
Yesterday, I...
Had a stupid argument
Cried about it.
Put gas in my car
Refilled my birth control
Today, I...
Ate some spaghetti.
Loaded the dishwasher twice.
Played online.
Took the dirty laundry downstairs.
Had to chase down our dog twice when Morgan accidentally let her out.
Read part of a Glamour.
Tomorrow, I...
Plan to go to church.
Really hope I get a nice long spanking.
Will hopefully get to go shopping for Morgan's birthday.
Will hopefully be DONE with my period so I can GET LAID!
In the next year I...
Want to take a big vacation
Want to be a better, more obedient wife.
Want to pay off some bills.
Want to advance at work.
Anyway, I've puttered around here enough, I suppose. Have a great night!
Saturday, April 22, 2006
So I could've handled that better...
Today (well, yesterday now) was crappy, as you can probably tell from the Undone post. Here's what happened. My friend that I shared this with came here to read. And she had some questions. And, following my wishes, she asked them. Now R is the type of person whose thoughts just pour out through email, blogging, etc in exactly the order and completeness that they pop into her mind. Nothing wrong with that at all, especially if you're familiar with it (as I am). But sometimes those thoughts come out more bluntly than intended, and, already in a fragile, stressed out state of mind, I reacted badly to some honest questions and comments. And to be fair, she did ask me beforehand if I was up to hearing about what she thought of the blog, since I'd spent the previous 15 minutes spewing out some extremely stressed out PMS fueled emails about life in general. I'm the one who said I wanted to talk about it.
The two big things I reacted so badly to were a concern she put forth about this spanking, the length and intensity of it, and a completely innocent and legitimately separate (but maybe a little poorly timed) question about whether or not we spank Morgan. Now she wasn't trying to imply that any spanking she got would be in the same stratosphere as what I get, but I was a little too willing to take things the wrong way. (For the record, we do, on pretty rare occasions, spank Morgan, but it's a last resort and maybe half a dozen or so swats with the hand over her jeans - meant (successfully) to have more of an emotional impact than a physical one. And I get spanked waaaay more frequently than she does.)
Anyway, I got really defensive really quick, which she read as shutting her down. And sooo, her reaction was to tell me that she didn't want to discuss any part of this with me any more, maybe not ever. Which really hurt, because as anyone here knows, I took a big chance letting her in on this part of us. And with the box now opened, even if we were to never speak of it again, I feel like it would always be there in the back of her mind. Probably 95% of our conversations revolve around our marriages, and now that she knows, I'd feel dishonest and fake with the kind of careful editing I always did before this was in the open.
So, she may or may not come back here (I hope she will), but in case she does, I want to try to address some of the concerns she had. First of all, the big bad 500 swat spanking and other similar incidents:
I think when she first heard that Nick spanks me for more than just sex, she had the idea that it was a sort of "jerk the girl up and bust her 10 or 12 swats for a bad attitude" type spanking. And there's plenty of that too. But I don't always post about them here. Five minutes later the sting is completely gone, and something that short is really just about getting my attention.
Most of the spankings I get (and post about here) run from 100 to 200 swats. Why? Because that's about what it takes to get me to let go of stress, attitude, self loathing, whatever necessitated the spanking in the first place. Do they hurt? Well, yeah - we are talking about spanking here. But they're not brutal, or tortuous, or unmanageable. Nick knows me, my body, and just how much pain it takes to actually register as pain very well, and he has no need or desire to take me beyond where I need to go. The aforementioned "500 swat" spanking was much more about resetting my heart and head than it was about any kind of punishment. And here's something that wasn't in the post but is true almost every time: when it was over, I wanted more. I craved it. I wasn't broken and diminished. I was restored, floating and safe, and very glad that he'd done it.
Maybe the tears bothered her. Tears for me aren't usually so much about the pain as they are about the surrender, which is vital for me. I need to let go of all the crap that's floating through my head, and being able to cry is what lets me do that. And usually once the tears start, things that I didn't even realize I needed to deal with get played out and put away. I can't even describe how light I feel for days after a really hard spanking. It's not about me thinking I'm a bad person who needs to be punished hard and broken. Spanking is just the way that I best deal with stress and the resulting attitude issues. I remember our basketball coach in highschool talking about his ritual for when he was really stressed. He had a big stick that he would just whack the crap out of a tree with, over and over until he'd worked out whatever aggression he had. Me - I liked to have my butt whacked until I'm de-stressed.
Another question she had was about the issue of sex and discipline. I addressed this once before on the blog here, but I want to look specifically at what she asked me. Nick and I usually make love after a serious spanking (and pretty much always after a fun spanking - what else is it supposed to lead too? WEG). Her thought was that by having sex right after it seemed like it was canceling out any discipline in the spanking. A lot of people feel that way and refuse to make love the same night there's been a punishment, feeling that it's best to keep the two completely separate. I understand the concept. It just doesn't apply to us. By the time the spanking is over, whatever issue brought us to that point has been settled. If it hasn't, well, I ask for more (hey - read the archives. It's happened!). And so, when Nick's done what I need him to, we both feel the need to reconnect physically. And if we were settling an attitude issue, it just might be the first purely sweet connection we've had for a few days.
To be perfectly honest, I can get both sex and spanking pretty much whenever I want without there having to be fractious feelings involved. I don't need to brat to get punished, and I just don't go there. I made that mistake a time or two when we first started, and it's just not worth the resentment it breeds. Head games suck.
As far as a punishment making me horny, I'll admit, I'm a total spanko. The thought of my husband in stern, taking care of business, busting my butt mode is HOT! But the spanking definitely hurts when it's happening, mainly because of whatever unpleasantness got me in that position. I'm sorry to be there and I regret whatever I did (or didn't do as the case may be) to get me there. I really do try to avoid the serious ones - usually by the time he tells me to bend over I'm almost sick to my stomach. I hate that I've done something to disappoint him. But once those feelings are dealt with and put away, sure, there's a lot of sexiness there. And um, why not? He is my husband, and if this works for us, then who cares if we don't wait a prescribed time before making love?
Anyway, this has really made me think a lot. I really hope she looks around here some more, if only to have a clear picture of why this makes me happy. And I hope she will ask me any other questions she has. But even if she doesn't, I'd love to hear from some of my readers on this, whether it's a question about DD in general or our relationship in particular. If you'll ask me either in email or in comments, I'll answer here in a post.
The two big things I reacted so badly to were a concern she put forth about this spanking, the length and intensity of it, and a completely innocent and legitimately separate (but maybe a little poorly timed) question about whether or not we spank Morgan. Now she wasn't trying to imply that any spanking she got would be in the same stratosphere as what I get, but I was a little too willing to take things the wrong way. (For the record, we do, on pretty rare occasions, spank Morgan, but it's a last resort and maybe half a dozen or so swats with the hand over her jeans - meant (successfully) to have more of an emotional impact than a physical one. And I get spanked waaaay more frequently than she does.)
Anyway, I got really defensive really quick, which she read as shutting her down. And sooo, her reaction was to tell me that she didn't want to discuss any part of this with me any more, maybe not ever. Which really hurt, because as anyone here knows, I took a big chance letting her in on this part of us. And with the box now opened, even if we were to never speak of it again, I feel like it would always be there in the back of her mind. Probably 95% of our conversations revolve around our marriages, and now that she knows, I'd feel dishonest and fake with the kind of careful editing I always did before this was in the open.
So, she may or may not come back here (I hope she will), but in case she does, I want to try to address some of the concerns she had. First of all, the big bad 500 swat spanking and other similar incidents:
I think when she first heard that Nick spanks me for more than just sex, she had the idea that it was a sort of "jerk the girl up and bust her 10 or 12 swats for a bad attitude" type spanking. And there's plenty of that too. But I don't always post about them here. Five minutes later the sting is completely gone, and something that short is really just about getting my attention.
Most of the spankings I get (and post about here) run from 100 to 200 swats. Why? Because that's about what it takes to get me to let go of stress, attitude, self loathing, whatever necessitated the spanking in the first place. Do they hurt? Well, yeah - we are talking about spanking here. But they're not brutal, or tortuous, or unmanageable. Nick knows me, my body, and just how much pain it takes to actually register as pain very well, and he has no need or desire to take me beyond where I need to go. The aforementioned "500 swat" spanking was much more about resetting my heart and head than it was about any kind of punishment. And here's something that wasn't in the post but is true almost every time: when it was over, I wanted more. I craved it. I wasn't broken and diminished. I was restored, floating and safe, and very glad that he'd done it.
Maybe the tears bothered her. Tears for me aren't usually so much about the pain as they are about the surrender, which is vital for me. I need to let go of all the crap that's floating through my head, and being able to cry is what lets me do that. And usually once the tears start, things that I didn't even realize I needed to deal with get played out and put away. I can't even describe how light I feel for days after a really hard spanking. It's not about me thinking I'm a bad person who needs to be punished hard and broken. Spanking is just the way that I best deal with stress and the resulting attitude issues. I remember our basketball coach in highschool talking about his ritual for when he was really stressed. He had a big stick that he would just whack the crap out of a tree with, over and over until he'd worked out whatever aggression he had. Me - I liked to have my butt whacked until I'm de-stressed.
Another question she had was about the issue of sex and discipline. I addressed this once before on the blog here, but I want to look specifically at what she asked me. Nick and I usually make love after a serious spanking (and pretty much always after a fun spanking - what else is it supposed to lead too? WEG). Her thought was that by having sex right after it seemed like it was canceling out any discipline in the spanking. A lot of people feel that way and refuse to make love the same night there's been a punishment, feeling that it's best to keep the two completely separate. I understand the concept. It just doesn't apply to us. By the time the spanking is over, whatever issue brought us to that point has been settled. If it hasn't, well, I ask for more (hey - read the archives. It's happened!). And so, when Nick's done what I need him to, we both feel the need to reconnect physically. And if we were settling an attitude issue, it just might be the first purely sweet connection we've had for a few days.
To be perfectly honest, I can get both sex and spanking pretty much whenever I want without there having to be fractious feelings involved. I don't need to brat to get punished, and I just don't go there. I made that mistake a time or two when we first started, and it's just not worth the resentment it breeds. Head games suck.
As far as a punishment making me horny, I'll admit, I'm a total spanko. The thought of my husband in stern, taking care of business, busting my butt mode is HOT! But the spanking definitely hurts when it's happening, mainly because of whatever unpleasantness got me in that position. I'm sorry to be there and I regret whatever I did (or didn't do as the case may be) to get me there. I really do try to avoid the serious ones - usually by the time he tells me to bend over I'm almost sick to my stomach. I hate that I've done something to disappoint him. But once those feelings are dealt with and put away, sure, there's a lot of sexiness there. And um, why not? He is my husband, and if this works for us, then who cares if we don't wait a prescribed time before making love?
Anyway, this has really made me think a lot. I really hope she looks around here some more, if only to have a clear picture of why this makes me happy. And I hope she will ask me any other questions she has. But even if she doesn't, I'd love to hear from some of my readers on this, whether it's a question about DD in general or our relationship in particular. If you'll ask me either in email or in comments, I'll answer here in a post.
Friday, April 21, 2006
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