A quick post

This is going to be a quick one, because I need to get to bed, but today I'm thankful for:

Already owning a baby gate since Jack is officially on the move!

Getting some of Jack's room cleaned out and some outgrown clothes boxed up to be passed on.

Nick getting to leave work early today.

Nick bringing home Jet's pizza!

Getting to take a nap with Nick, something that very rarely happens, except on the occasional Sunday.

Good night!

Happy Birthday, Daisy!

Oh my goodness, what precious things to be grateful for today!

Three years ago we were blessed with a baby girl we were told we would never have. Today she is a beautiful, smart, articulate little girl, and a world class big and little sister!

We had a small family gathering for her birthday, and she got SO MUCH awesome stuff!

She loved all the stuff I made her.

My cousin's little boy loved his fort kit.

Nick's paycheck went into the new account instead of the old (wrong) one.

I have a lovely bed in which to go and lay down this sleepy head!

Good night all!

Day 4

Today I'm thankful for:

This adorable set of clothes Kate sent Daisy today for her birthday. I love all of it, and she definitely needed a winter coat! The hair bow is one I had in my shop. When I saw how well it matched, I just had to pull it out and make it a birthday gift!

 

That everything that we did successfully cleared our old bank account without the bank accidentally returning anything.

Morgan was worried because she didn't have anything for Daisy for her birthday. We still have the ladder we borrowed from my dad, so I used it to get in the attic and find a few of Morgan's old dolls and other toys. She was really excited to pick some things out to give her sister!

The joy I've gotten out of Daisy's adorably specific birthday requests. "What do you want for your birthday?" has been consistently answered with "A strawberry cake with yellow icing! And candles! And balloons! And presents!" She's talked all night about the strawberry cake with yellow icing she's getting tomorrow. :)

In August we were invited to my cousin's little boy's birthday party. He's 8 weeks older than Daisy, and this particular cousin has done so much for me and my family. Sadly we were all sick at the time, so we had to forgo the party. She's bringing her little boy to Daisy's small family get together tomorrow, and I made him a deluxe fort kit for his (very late) birthday gift. I'm glad to get to see them, and I'm glad to get his present done!

Kelly was due today, but still no Logan. I'm pleased to report though that she at least has an induction scheduled, so if she doesn't go into labor before then, we'll welcome her and Grant's first son next Wednesday.

Off to bed!

Day 3

Today's blessings include:

Jack got his third tooth today. :)

Nick got an unexpected package in the mail today from his uncle. It was a big shoebox full of golf balls and tees! His uncle is an avid golfer and had a bunch of extras he wasn't going to use (so he said). Nick loves to play golf, so this was a really neat surprise!

I got a bunch of baby doll diapers made last night, so that finishes up all of Daisy's birthday gifts.

Elizabeth and her husband and kids came to church tonight. They've only recently started attending, and it blesses me every time they come.

Robert gave Nick some shoe laces tonight at church. That may seem really silly, but the laces on Nick's black dress shoes were falling apart, and I'd been having a ridiculously hard time finding a pair that weren't big flat ones made for tennis shoes.

We got our new debit cards today. I pay a lot of our bills online or over the phone using mine, and I was concerned they wouldn't get here before pay day.

Have a great night!

Graituesday

Today I am thankful for:

My parents came by earlier and dropped off some much needed milk as well as a few other treats for the kids.

I got to take a short nap this evening - a rare treat for me!

The precious slobbery baby kisses Jack planted all over my face (and arms, and knee, etc).

That Morgan didn't have any homework tonight, always a relief.

That I got to hang out with Nick and watch one of our favorite shows together.

That I still have my parents. A dear girl I went to school with has had to make the heart wrenching decision to have the hospice turn off the machines on her dad tomorrow morning.

Finding some really neat ideas for handmade Christmas gifts.

My bed!

Too blessed to be depressed

A couple of years ago I started the month of November out focusing on being grateful for the many, many blessings in my life. I tried to post every day (and mostly succeeded), taking the time to put down the things I was thankful for that day. That exercise was a blessing in itself to me, because it did a quick job of turning my attitude around at a time when I was struggling with some things. I think it's past time to try it again.

Today I'm thankful for:

God's hand on our bank account. A few days ago I pulled up our account and noticed a check with a weird check number for $29.95. I knew we hadn't done anything for that amount, so I looked into it a little further. It turned out to be fraudulent, which meant we had to close the account and open a new one, something we REALLY didn't want to do. We've had this account for over a dozen years. I had my debit card number memorized, we had plenty of checks, Nick's direct deposit goes in there, and everything from my Itunes to my Paypal to my car insurance is connected to it. Not only that, but we were going to be down to $25 once all the legitimate stuff cleared not counting this fraudulent charge! Wait, I promise I'm getting to the gratitude part! First of all, we caught it before anything bigger was taken. Second of all, the bank is going to credit us the 29.95. Third, they opened us a new account quickly, so it definitely could have been worse.

Yesterday Nick's aunt, cousin, and great aunt, all of whom we rarely get to see, visited our church. The reason was a sad one - his great aunt's brother-in-law passed away and they wanted to gather as a family after church for lunch. But it was still wonderful to see them. Also, we didn't have any money to go have lunch with them, but my precious parents, anticipating the need, handed Nick $50 at church so that we could join them after all.

We were out of both diapers and formula today, and God provided a way for us to get both. Plus He gave me a great deal on the diapers!

Jack, who will be nine months tomorrow, is officially crawling.

Nick was off today. Normally he works Mondays, but he worked Saturday for a coworker, so I got to enjoy being with him today!

I had a coupon today for a free molten chocolate cake at Chili's, one of my favorite desserts of all time. Nick and I had some errands to run while Morgan was in school, so we stopped and got it with Daisy and Jack. He gave Jack a taste of it, and it was the cutest thing ever! He got this huge smile, then his eyes rolled back in his head like he was just in heaven, and he started giggling out loud. Best food reaction ever! :)

Nick helped me fold a lot of the laundry today.

Our ceiling fan in the living room is really high up. Like we need a ladder to change the bulbs. Two of the four bulbs had been burned out for a couple of weeks, and it was driving me nuts! (I hate a dim room!). Tonight my dad let us borrow his ladder so Nick could change the bulbs. Finally, light!

This laundry detergent. Everybody I've ever met who tried to make their own laundry detergent said that even if it worked for a couple of weeks, pretty soon their clothes just weren't getting clean. I tried this one because A. it was dry, not liquid, which I thought might make a difference, and B. the women who run http://www.howdoesshe.com/ are geniuses. I've been using it for MONTHS now, and it works even better than the most expensive brands I've tried, even on Nick's dirty mechanic's clothes. In fact, I gave some to my mom, who is super picky about laundry, and after trying it, she made a big batch for herself!

I got to get my hair colored last week. My mother-in-law does it for me for free at her shop, and I felt 10 years younger getting all that gray out!

 

I'm also thankful that Jack is finally asleep so I can go take a shower!

 

Have a great week!

What would you do?

First of all, I was looking at some of my posts about family and friends, and I realized I really need to come up with a better way of referring to them all than just by initial. It's confusing to even me that way, so I've come up with (fake) names for all of them, and I put a sort of key up on the right. I'm going to go back through and try to fix them in all the old posts.

Anyway, my friend PK is currently faced with the scenario of her daughter asking to read some of her erotic (spanking) stories. I wish her all the best of luck, and I'm glad I'm not in her shoes right now!

It got me to thinking about the few times I've shared TTWD with anyone. The thing is, finding something that just makes you so, well, happy, you just want to share it with the people you love. It's such a deep part of you that it can start to feel almost...dishonest if you aren't telling your sister/best friend/dieting buddy this amazing part of your life that makes you feel special and giddy and sexy and taken care of and finally true to yourself. And while it's wonderful and right that you can find so much support out here in blogland, it can make it seem easier than it is to find that kind of support in the people who love you in real life.

The first person I ever told (the only one I've ever directed to my blog) was my friend Alicia. Now let me first say that I stood by Alicia through her husband's multiple stints of depression, drug use, infidelity, and abandonment. I spent hours sitting and praying with her and days emailing back and forth about it, and I opened my home to her to spend the night when she didn't feel safe in her own home. None of that is to brag on me at all, just to say that I kind of expected her to be at least a little open-minded and non-judgemental. And she was - just so long as she thought it went only so far as I Love Lucy did.

But when she read my blog, the blog I was so very proud of and directed her to with great vulnerability and trust, she told me she felt so sorry for me that I thought so little of myself that I believed I deserved such treatment. I've never in my life wished so much that I could unshare something. It not only hurt me deeply, but it infuriated me that she was basically saying Nick was abusive. My husband! That experience truly burned me on full disclosure, and I basically told her that I was really sorry she misunderstood the situation, that I didn't think I would be able to ever talk about it with her again, and that I would appreciate it if she just forgot everything I'd told her.

The second person in real life to find out about the blog was my brother Robert. Yes, the one who's our pastor. He was not our pastor at the time, although he was only a couple of months away from it when it happened. At the time I had a Facebook profile for AngelBrat. I didn't have any mutual friends between it and my RL profile, but apparently helpful Facebook will suggest any profile accessed using the same IP address to all the friends of any other profile using that IP. So when his wife got a friend suggestion for AngelBrat, they clicked on over, probably wondering who on earth they might know with a profile picture consisting of spanking artwork. As it turned out, it was me!

He sent me a text asking if I knew that setting up a Facebook profile for my blog would have those results. I assumed he was talking about my photography blog, but nope, it was this one! His take on it was that what we did was nobody's business but ours and God's, and he promised to keep it private. To this day he's not brought it up, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate his discretion as well as his non-judgemental attitude.

The only other person who sort-of knows is my friend Elizabeth. And she doesn't know about the blog. She just knows that I enjoy being spanked (as apparently she does a bit herself), and that we have a crapload of spanking toys. I did hint though that sometimes it's more because I need it than because I want it, and she was pretty quick to say that she wasn't on board with that. Whether she meant that she wasn't on board with it for herself or for anybody at all I don't know, because I pretty much abandoned ship on the conversation at that point.

Truthfully, I would love to have a friend in RL that I could just sit down with over coffee and be real with about this stuff. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be in the cards.

As for the situation PK is dealing with, I'm well aware that I could be facing that sometime in the (hopefully distant) future. Having come across some very unambiguous internet history a few months ago, I'm pretty convinced that Morgan has the same interests. At the time I checked with Nick to make sure it wasn't him looking stuff up. Sadly it was not, because I totally could have worked with that lol. But I had to go and have an excruciatingly awkward conversation with my 10 year old daughter about what sorts of things are not okay to look at online and what sort of skewed impression that sort of search is likely to give her. I guess in a way I'm glad I had the opportunity (even if forced into it) to talk with her about it. When I was around her age my mom found some spanking stories I had written, and her reaction made me want to crawl inside myself with shame.

Neither Morgan or I wanted to be having the conversation, but I told her that I did understand her interests, and that those were not things to be ashamed of, but rather to be fully explored someday with her husband if they so choose to do. I also told her that a lot of the things out there online didn't depict anything close to a loving relationship, and that they were not the sorts of things God had in mind for her heart and her marriage. I also told her that if she were to do anymore such searches, I WOULD know!

She did ask me once why I had all those things in the chest at the end of our bed, and I just told her that it was a private space that she did not need to be getting into, but that there are things that are meant to be just between husband and wife. Anyway, if she ever gets up the nerve, I expect her to one day come and ask me if Nick spanks me. I guess I'll just be honest with her if and when the time comes. My biggest fear would be that it would cause her to think badly of her dad.

So have you told anyone in real life? How did it go? Do you regret it, or do you wish you had told them sooner?

Birthdays and babies...

Well here's a novelty - 4 posts in one month! So, not a whole lot going on here this week, which is actually a nice change. :)

Daisy's 3rd birthday is next Friday, so I've been sewing and crafting for that. Money is short right now, but fortunately she's too young to not still be impressed with handmade things. :) We did buy her a baby doll, this one to be exact:

I've been busy making her accessories to go with it, including a diaper bag, changing pad, bib, burp cloth, wipes case (complete with wipes cut from an old pillow case), extra diaper (just one so far, but I want to make more), and baby ring sling. None of it's really professional grade, but I think she'll like it all.

We also have her another doll. I almost hate to tell the story behind this one, but here goes. Several weeks ago there was this random dog that had the run of the neighborhood. Nobody knows where he came from, but he was pretty much a nuisance (and I'm not a person who minds dogs running loose just so long as they're well behaved). One day I happened to go outside and there was this dog in our yard with a naked Our Generation doll in his mouth. It's hard to be sure without the clothes, but I think it was this one. Anyway, I grabbed the doll and shooed him away, thinking I was rescuing it for some poor little neighbor girl.

The thing is, I've not been able to find who it belongs to. Morgan is friends with about all the girls in our subdivision, and none of them have claimed it. So it seems to be looking for a home. It was pretty much undamaged, just a barely split seam under the right arm, and no teeth marks at all, so I think he must have not had it for long when I found him. I ran it through the washing machine, then managed to get the hair straightened out using some of the girls' detangler (although pulling her in and out of the hall closet to show everybody but Daisy what I've done with her has been hell on the hair). Then I went to work on some clothes.

I had some sweet pink paisley corduroy that I'd been hoarding saving for something special, so I made Daisy and the doll matching skirts. I added some decorative stitching in black around the hem on each. Then I found black t-shirts on clearance for $2.50 at Wal-Mart. I grabbed 3 - one for Daisy, one for the doll, and an extra (because you can never have too many plain t-shirts for a little girl). I was quite proud of myself, because I managed to follow this pattern, and make a little black shirt for the doll to match Daisy's, even managing to reuse the trim on the neckline and sleeves (I promise the sleeves are even, but one was bunched up in the picture).

Then I followed this tutorial using one of a pair of Dollar Tree knee socks and made her an adorable pair of argyle tights. Now if only I could find some matching ones for Daisy! Wal-Mart has just come out with a new line of 18" dolls, and the accessories are really inexpensive, so for $1.99 I was able to finish the outfit off with a pair of black mary janes.

                                  (Please ignore my messy craft area)
I also made them both matching headbands in two different styles. One is a big ruffled flower on an elastic band, and the other is a pink and black woven headband. A few months ago I found blank plastic headbands to fit 18" dolls for $4.49/dozen here, and I'm really tickled with how they came out.

Anyway, that's the totally redneck story of what I'm affectionately calling "The Yard Doll", but I really do think she'll love it. Morgan has about 7 of these dolls, including two real live American Girl dolls (one from her Aunt Kate and one that she saved up for), and Daisy is always wanting to play with them. She has a cheap one of her own that I got on clearance at Wal-Mart a while back, but when one falls in my lap for free I can hardly turn it down.

Potty training is going abominably. Morgan was almost three when she potty trained, but she wasn't this close! The sad part is, I think she was ready last winter, but we wanted to wait till after Jack was born and she was used to having a new baby in the house before we tried. Then we knew we were going to Georgia at the end of July, and we didn't want to put a newly trained toddler through a nine hour car trip, so we waited again. At least I can take comfort in knowing that her cousin Maddox is 4 months older than her and still not 100% on it himself.

We keep expecting to get a call from Nick's sister Kelly any time now. Her due date is next Thursday. Her birthday is actually Saturday, so we're kind of thinking it might happen then, if only because it seems to run in the family. Her dad was born the day after his mom's birthday, and Morgan was born on Nick's birthday. For that matter, Daisy was due the day after my birthday, but she came a couple of weeks early.

Anyway, that's the randomness that's happening here. Hope you guys are having a great Autumn!

So after vacation...

By the time we got home that Sunday night, I was feeling pretty sick. Like the type of miserable sick where you feel like someone is constantly poking you with a stick and just won't let you rest. Within a couple of days the kids were sick too. Yep, all three of them. Jack had actually woken up with crusty eyes Sunday morning, but he seemed to feel fine, so I just made plans to take him to the doctor when we got back.

By the next morning (Monday) it had developed into a full blown cold, and I took him in to the doctor. They said it was a little bit of conjunctivitis and a cold, and prescribed him eyedrops. By Tuesday night he was running a high fever (105.5). I called the nurse on call, and she told me to bring him in the next day. When we got to the pediatrician's office they put a pulse-oxygen monitor on him and were concerned enough with his oxygen levels to give him 2 separate breathing treatments there in the office before sending us to the children's hospital for xrays. I had both girls with me (Daisy had developed a cold and an ear infection by this time). My mom came and picked up the girls, and I headed to the hospital with Jack. Nick met us there.

Bless his heart, Jack was so miserably sick, still running a fever and throwing up every time they tried to give him Advil. Finally they xrayed him and came back saying they thought it could possibly be pneumonia. They started him on antibiotics and admitted him. I sent Nick home once we got settled because he was supposed to work the next day. Meanwhile at my parents' house, Daisy had gotten very, very sick herself, fever, coughing, vomiting, the whole nine yards.

By the morning Jack was feeling so much better. Nick called in to work and came by. The respiratory specialist came by early and told us that it was apparently something viral and not pneumonia, because the antibiotics had almost cleared up the area on the xray that they thought was pneumonia, and that he would probably be able to go home before lunch time. This turned out to be wishful thinking, only because it was close to 5PM by the time we could get a doctor to show up and release him.

My parents brought the girls home and we spent the night resting. We had a follow up appointment for Jack the next day, and I called and got an appointment for Daisy too. It turned out that she had conjunctivitis too, as well as a bad cold, so they prescribed eye drops for her too. By then my cold had mostly gone away except for the fact that my right ear was completely blocked. Nick insisted I go see someone, so I went to a walk-in clinic, and it turned out I had an ear infection. $135 later I walked out with a prescription for antibiotics and a freshly irrigated right ear (a thoroughly unpleasant experience).

By the time I went to pick the kids up (Mom had watched them while I went to the clinic), Morgan was complaining of ear pain. It was too late to get her in to see the pediatrician that day, so when Nick got home he took her down to the same walk-in clinic where she was diagnosed with, yep, an ear infection. Fortunately Nick managed to avoid getting sick, thanks I'm sure to the tons of prayers we were all sending up. Unfortunately my parents both got sick the next week, my mom with pneumonia, which was pretty rough on her.

Morgan started school (middle school!!) on the 14th, so the 13th I spent attending her orientation. I can't believe my baby is in middle school! I spent all that week cleaning house getting all the vacation stuff unpacked (finally) and working on stuff for my sister-in-law Kelly's baby shower I was throwing her with Kate. Kate and her two kids came in on Wednesday (the 22nd). It was really nice to get to see them again so soon after vacation. Usually we see them maybe twice a year if we're lucky.

Now I got an embroidery machine with part of the money Will and Kate gave us for Christmas last year, and it had been sitting unopened in my closet since January due to a lack of time and space to open it up and learn how it worked. But I got all my craft stuff consolidated and my kitchen table nice and clear and decided to get it out and play with it. I actually wanted to use it to embroider my nephew's name on a sweet little tote bag to give to Kelly at the shower. So I open it up and put it all together and realize the foot pedal is missing. Then I realized the front accessory tray was also missing. And all of the bobbins. And the training CD. So I call Wal-Mart up and tell them this embroidery machine I bought as new (NOT as an open box/floor model!) was missing some pieces. So they tell me to bring it down. Then they tell me they can't help me since I bought it more than 90 days ago, even though I had just opened it. This made me furious, not because of the return policy, but because they had clearly accepted it as a return from someone and boxed it back up and stuck it out on the shelf as brand new without even bother to check that the major structural components were in the box!

They suggested I call the Brother Company, but they were no more help. They said that since it had been more than 30 days all they could do was sell me the missing parts and waive the shipping charges. So I took it down to our local Sew N Vac to see if they could find at least a foot pedal for it. They sold me a used one for $25. Unfortunately I still couldn't get the machine to work.

By then I needed to concentrate on the baby shower, so I gave up on the tote bag. The baby shower was on the 25th at our church, and it wasn't super fancy, but it was still very cute. Kelly loved it, and she got a ton of great stuff, and we all got to spend some extra time with Kate and kids, so it was a win all around.

After Kate went back home I turned back to my embroidery machine. I ended up taking it back down to Sew N Vac where the nicest guy ever worked on it for a hour for me, replacing yet another part (this one damaged, not missing) and charging me a grand total of 19.99 plus tax. It now works great, and I just need to buy some stabilizer so I can embroider more stuff!

Life's been mostly pretty calm since then. We went up to the cabin for a fish fry the Saturday before Labor Day. Daisy came down with strep throat that weekend, although she's all better now. Business has picked up some in my etsy shop, which it pretty neat. Kelly's baby is due in 14 days, and Daisy will be 3 in 15 days. Where on earth has the time gone?

Speaking of time, I don't know if you knew this, but it's only 13 1/2 weeks till Christmas. Proceed panicking.

I'm just saying...

Vacation

So I know it's been well over a month since I posted, but I have a good excuse! We've had a crazy busy (and just plain crazy!) few weeks!

Before I get into all that, I want to mention that there was a real live spanking in July, the 22nd to be exact. It was completely unexpected but much appreciated since it was a stress buster/get focused spanking rather than a punishment. Nick asked me to join him upstairs where he took off his belt and gave me a good 35 or so licks, just enough to really set my butt on fire. And it's a good thing he did, because I've sure needed that de-stressing in the bank with everything that followed.

Not all of it was bad - in fact most of it was awesome, but it was still a lot to experience.

The day after I got spanked Vacation Bible School started at our church. Nick and I both helped, which was a first for me at this church and for him anywhere, and we had a blast. My mom and I were in charge of the crafts, something I'm always happy to help with. My friend Elizabeth and her husband had been visiting our church a bit, something that really thrilled me, and Elizabeth had signed up to help with the crafts too. Unfortunately she had been dealing with some personal demons for the previous couple of weeks and decided that she just was not in a frame of mind to be of any help. I understood, but it did make things a little hectic! As it turned out, she was able to come and help after all Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, which was nice. I ended up bringing a couple of little girls from our neighborhood all week. It's been really neat to be able to share our church with them, and I'm glad Morgan is so happy to invite them.

On Saturday, the day after VBS, we left for the beach! This was, hands down, the most amazing vacation of our lives! Nick's parents and Kelly and Grant went with us. We drove about halfway there Saturday and stayed in a little Microtel. If you're looking for a nice, clean, inexpensive place to stay overnight, I highly recommend the Microtel chain. We stayed in one once before on our way to Texas one year, and it was just what we needed and no more (which means we also didn't have to pay for extras we wouldn't use!).

The next day we rolled into Sea Island, Georgia, where we checked into The Cottages at The Cloister and stepped into another world. Kate and her husband sold their lake house last year and joined this amazing vacation club. The Cloister at Sea Island is one of the destinations on it, and they took us all there this year instead of having us visit them in Texas. (For the record, I don't know who the people in the picture below are, but they weren't with us).

It's hard for me to even describe how incredible this place was. This is not the sort of world we live in normally, that's for sure! Please don't think this post is bragging, because this was just an amazing gift for us, and definitely not the type of trip we could afford in a million years. I'm going to talk about it a lot here, just because I want to remember it forever, so feel free to skip the rest of the post if you want. ;-)



Sunday: We checked in at the Cloister and were taken to our cottage. It was amazing! This was the room Nick and I shared with Daisy and Jack (ignore the random stuff, we had just unloaded everything).

 

 

 

Morgan and Kit camped out on the couches in the living room.

 

That night we had dinner out and then just kind of hung out and relaxed.

Monday: Morgan and Kit and Kate (the sister hosting us) went horseback riding with Nick's parents. The rest of us slept in, then everybody but me went to the beach. I took the opportunity to go shopping by myself (well, with Jack) for a bit, hitting up a couple of craft stores and a mall, where I bought Nick a few golf shirts. While I was out Nick called to let me know that there had been a waterspout (small tornado) spotted on the ocean and that I needed to stay put in the store until things were clear, so I enjoyed taking my time in the stores. We had dinner at the cottage that night.

Tuesday: We went to the beach, then Kelly and I went and had mani-pedis, a rare treat indeed for me! That evening we had dinner at a delicious barbecue place. That night we went crabbing on the beach, which mostly consisted of Morgan and Kit chasing every crab they saw and squealing and running when they chased back. :)

Wednesday: I woke up unusually early and decided to grab Morgan for some early morning shelling. We didn't honestly find that many cool shells, but there was about a million horseshoe crabs, both dead and alive, and Morgan was fascinated with them. It was a very sweet time with my oldest girl, something I wish I had more of. That afternoon Nick and Grant went golfing at the historic Cloister Lodge. They had an AMAZING time, and I'm so tickled for them that they got to play there. Will arrived that evening as he'd had to work until then.

Thursday: We went on a fishing trip, which was really neat. I didn't do any fishing myself, because I was taking pictures, but Nick, Daisy, Morgan, and their cousins all caught stuff, including several sharks and sting rays. On our way back through the hotel from the yacht club, would you believe we ran into President Bill Clinton?! It was the craziest thing ever, and it really brought home to me and Nick just what an amazing caliber of resort we were at! It turns out he was there to play golf and plant a tree on the hotel grounds, something numerous Presidents have done in the past. That night Will treated us all to dinner at the Lodge, which was insane! The actual restaurant name was Colt and Alison, and let me just say that Daisy's meal from the children's menu consisted of milk with a grilled cheese sandwich and a fruit cup and it cost roughly $15. Dinner for the 12 of us came to about $1200.00.

Friday: Nick and I got to go spend some time just walking around the grounds of the hotel, which was gorgeous!

 

 

There was a kind of luau style luncheon put on by the hotel that day, which was neat. We spent the rest of that afternoon and evening enjoying the pools.

Saturday Kelly and Grant decided to head back home because Grant teaches Sunday School at our church. (I don't know if I mentioned it, but they joined our church in July, which was awesome)! The rest of us headed to Jekyll Island to the Georgia Sea Turtle Center. Daisy and Maddox (Kate's 3 year old son) especially enjoyed it.

Nick and our 3 stopped at a really neat old bookstore on the way back. Unfortunately I didn't really get to explore it because about 4 minutes after we got there Jack peed on Nick's shirt. Nick offered to let me keep looking while he went to the car, but I could tell that he was pretty grossed out, so I paid for our souvenirs and joined him in the car. We went to a nearby beach shop, and I bought him a clean shirt. While I was there I found a little novelty spanking paddle, which I also bought. We've not gotten a chance to use it, but it's not terribly sturdy anyway. That night we went to see a lighthouse, which was neat, but we got caught in a thunderstorm, which cut the visit short.

Sunday: This was our last day, so it was mostly spent packing up. We all had one last lunch together, then said our goodbyes and headed home.

So that's our vacation. I'll end the post here, since it's been terribly long, but I have more to post later!

Independence Day

Did everyone have a nice 4th of July? We did, for the most part. We spent the afternoon/evening at my parents' house having dinner and enjoying their pool with family and a couple of family friends. Sadly there were no fireworks this year. It's been so incredibly hot and dry that our county banned them this summer. Actually, a house on my parents' road burned to the ground this past Sunday, although there were no fireworks involved to my knowledge. It was a really beautiful home, one Nick and I have always admired, and it makes my heart ache for the family that lost so much.

There was some...friction before we went to my parent's house. Morgan had spent the night with my parents, so she was already out there. Now I will be the first to admit that the house has been in kind of rough shape lately. And in fact, Nick had promised to spank me for it a few weeks back, but that never happened. And I've been reaching that stressed-out/no-focus/really-need-an-attitude-adjustment stage. And Nick has been getting more and more irritated with the state of things as well as my attitude. And I truly have been trying to get it back in order, but frankly I've not been very successful, and my attitude about just about everything had really started to spiral.

Anyway, there was an argument, the details of which don't really matter, but the gist of it was that I had not been holding up my end of the bargain with this whole "you go out and work while I stay at home and be a homemaker" deal. And I muttered something along the lines of "You don't exactly keep all your promises yourself."

There was about 5 seconds of silence while I continued to fold laundry, and then I heard his laptop snap shut. The next few minutes are kind of a blur, but before I knew it he had his belt off and was not so nicely insisting I get myself up the stairs. I do remember refusing, on the grounds that Daisy and Jack were home, but really mostly because I was mad. Then he threatened to spank me right there in the living room, which got me moving, because while Jack, at 6 months is too young to care and Daisy was off playing somewhere, I certainly didn't want her to come in and find mommy getting her bottom blistered. Even then, though, I was pretty defiant, and I got a couple of good licks on the way up the stairs in response to the constants stream of back talk that was coming from my mouth.

Once upstairs he bent me over the bed and really laid into me. By this time I was crying, but mostly because I was pissed at him, although I didn't really have a good reason to be, other than maybe because he really hadn't followed through on the previously promised spanking, and now I was getting it, but not on my terms. There was a lot of me getting out of position and telling him to stop and to leave me alone, but he stayed firm with it and kept spanking hard. And at one point in the middle of it he said, "I don't like having to do this, because I love you," and I shot back, "No, it's because you don't care." And that caught his attention. There was more spanking, and when it was over he left me there to get myself composed, but later he told me that he he really does care. When he told me that, we were about to leave for my family's house, so I asked him if we could please talk about it later.

That night when we went to bed I brought it up again. He apologized for being so mad when he spanked me, and I told him that he didn't need to apologize, that I'd needed it, and that was part of the problem. He asked what I meant, and I explained that, having told me that he wanted to continue with DD, when he promised a spanking and then didn't follow through, it really did feel a lot like him not caring. And I told him that when I get to the point where I really need the reset button pushed, my hands are kind of tied if he won't deal with me when I need it. When I'm still in the reasonable stage, I refuse to purposely make him mad just to get him to discipline me. And because I certainly don't enjoy punishment spankings, it's easy enough for me to not push the issue in the moment, even if I know I need it. But if he just keeps blowing it off, eventually I get to the point where I'm rebellious and disrespectful, not to force a spanking, but just because my attitude has devolved to that point. Frankly, at that point, I want a fight, not a spanking, but a fight is not going to solve anything.

Anyway, I told him that I was sorry he'd had to spank me, but that I was glad he had followed through, and I think it really hit him just how the lack of follow through before had affected me.

So that was our Independence Day. How was yours?

5,114 Days Ago...

...I married my best friend. I love you, Nick. Thank you so much for sharing the last 14 years with me. Here's to many, many more. ♥

Birthdays, blessings, and pink hair

Hello, everyone. First of all, I've had to turn the CAPTCHA back on for the comments. Blogger's spam filter is great, so the spammy comments don't come through on here, but I get around 10 a day in my email, and it's driving me nuts.

So things have been going great around here. Nick had a wonderful time as a worker at church camp, and there was one saved. It's just made my heart full to see how much my wonderful husband has grown in the Lord over the past few months. He even led devotions for his cabin one night, something that was way out of his comfort zone, and I'm so proud of him!

Morgan didn't have as great of a time, but I think it was mostly because she went from Washington into camp without even a stop at home in between, and she was exhausted. I'm hoping she enjoys it more next year.

Okay, I know I'm always talking about how much God provides for us and blesses us. And this is true. But I want to talk for a minute about what happens when I stop trusting and get out of His will. A couple of pay periods ago, we were short. Really short. So I asked Nick if he thought we should pay our tithe (something we make a real effort at doing every pay period), and he told me no. Now to be perfectly honest, I felt like this was a mistake, but I knew all I needed to worry about was being obedient to my husband. So I prayed that God would honor my obedience and protect our bank account. And for a number of days that's just what He did. There were transactions that should have cleared days earlier, but they held out there for no natural reason, and our balance stayed in the positive.

Then one day I went out of my way to call one of my friends and gossip about a mutual acquaintance. It was unkind and uncalled for, and I knew as I was making the call that I was doing something I shouldn't. But I did it anyway. And just like that I stepped out of God's will and out from under His umbrella of protection. That night all those transactions that were hanging out there cleared the account and overdrew it. And even worse, it turned out that our account, which for 10 years has offered 5 waived overdraft fees per year, had been changed without our knowledge to only waive one overdraft fee. So not only did the account overdraft, but we got hit with some stiff fees as well.

Our bank agreed to waive a couple of them, but we still had to pay $70, and we had to go get a cash advance to cover the overdraft, something we've not had to do in a very long time.

Now you would think we would learn our lesson. Unfortunately, the next paycheck was just as short, and we made the same foolish decision to hold back our tithe. Once again, we went overdrawn, this time the very day before the next payday, which was this past Friday

Finally, we came to our senses, and when we went to church a couple of days ago we had our tithe check ready. And I'm not going to lie, it was still hard. Nick's check was better than usual, but we were still short on bills (in no small part because of the overdraft and check advance fees we'd had to pay). But I couldn't wait till that collection plate came around this time. I didn't know where the money for the rest of the bills was coming from, but I knew that we were doing what we were supposed to finally, and we could count on God's provision.

I told Nick that I was going to need more money no later than Tuesday (today) to pay the phone, internet, and electric, and asked him to pray about it. Last night a guy came by and bought Nick's Fairlane (he put it up for sale a while ago), cash in hand. I had to smile as I paid those bills today. God is always right on time!

Now, a couple of things I want to be clear on: God doesn't need my money. He wants my obedience and my trust. And I don't believe that God is punishing us when we don't pay our tithe, but I do believe that when we choose to disobey we remove ourselves from His hand of protection. I'm not telling anyone here what to believe on the matter of tithing - I'm only sharing my experiences. And these are experiences that we've had a number of times over the years.

On another subject, our Father's Day was wonderful! There are a number of June birthdays in my husband's family, including his dad's and his grandmother's, and for years we've had a June birthday party up at his grandparent's cabin on the lake, the one where we spent our honeymoon. It turned out that the only day most of the family was able to get together for it was on Sunday, so after church we all went up for a cookout/birthday/Father's Day celebration.

This was the first time Nick's grandmother has gotten to hold Jack as she's been sick every time we've seen her since he was born. She was in great grandmother heaven cuddling his sweet little body, and he rarely left her arms. For gifts Nick made cornhole board sets for his grandparents and his dad, and I made the corn bags to go along with them. Nick's dad had made sets for the church to take to camp, and Nick had done the artwork on them. They were a huge hit at camp (they even had a Final Four style tournament), and they were just as big a hit as birthday/Father's Day gifts.

I took Jack and Daisy to the doctor last week. Daisy just hadn't been feeling well for a couple of weeks, nothing we could pinpoint, but noticeable enough to set my mommy senses tingling. It turns out she has mono. This shocked me to say the least (she's not exactly running around kissing boys at two), but her doctor said that about half of all kids in the States catch it before they reach school age; it just goes undiagnosed a lot of the time. Fortunately she seems to be on the tail end of it and has already perked up a lot.

Jack was just due for a checkup and a couple of shots. He's a bouncing 11lb 12oz now, and he's 23 1/2 inches long. That's 8lb 1oz and 6 1/4 inches since birth! For the record, Daisy is now 3' 1" and weighs 32 lb. :-)

There's been a new girl move in next door, and she and Morgan are already fast friends. She even came to church with us Sunday. It made me happy that she moved in, because the family that just moved out had 3 kids, and Morgan and Daisy both played with them.

Morgan and I got pink streaks put in our hair, and I'm kind of in love with them.

Let's see, what else? In a little over a month we leave for the beach with Nick's family! It will be great to see his sister and her kids and husband. They are the ones who live in Texas. We usually go there for our vacation, but they sold their lake house right after our visit last year, so this year they booked everyone accommodations on Sea Island. We've never been, but it looks like it's going to be gorgeous, and Nick is dying to get out on the golf courses.

Just before we leave for the beach will be VBS at church. My friend Elizabeth and I are helping out a lot with the crafts, and I can't wait! A couple of weeks after we get back from the beach Kate and I are throwing a baby shower for Kelly.

Oh, and I'm supposed to be getting spanked, although there's not really been an opportunity to take care of it. I'm afraid I kind of let the house get to "red alert level", and although I've gotten it a bit back more under control, Nick says that there are still going to be consequences.

Anyway, I think that's all that's been happening around here. Hope you guys are well!

Catching up

Holy crap! How did almost a month go by? Life here has been trundling along as usual. Jack is still doing great. He's somewhere around 11 pounds now, probably a bit over. I take him for his next checkup next Tuesday, so they'll weigh him then. I'm still able to squeeze him in most of his newborn clothes, but I won't be able to for much longer.

Our dishwasher finally came. I got my dad to come over and install it while Nick was at work, and it works just great. It's wonderful to not have to do them by hand anymore!

There have been a couple of spankings promised, although none delivered since the one I posted about last month.

Memorial Day Kelly and Grant hosted the whole family for a cookout and pool party. This is the first year Daisy has really been old enough to enjoy a swimming pool, and she's absolutely enthralled. I think I mentioned that Kelly is expecting a baby in October (the day before Daisy's birthday actually), and they found out it's a boy, so Jack will have a little boy cousin his age to pal around with growing up! :)

Morgan went on her Safety Patrol trip to Washington DC this past weekend and had a good time for the most part. Unfortunately the other 5th grade girls in her room were all apparently obsessed with sex, and she was really uncomfortable with a lot of their conversation, as well as some of the games the other girls played (mostly things like french kissing inanimate objects, etc, harmless stuff really, but still inappropriate). This has Nick and I both disturbed, although I do feel like it's a good thing that she feels comfortable coming to us and telling us it upset her. I've tried to keep the lines of communication open to her for any questions she has about puberty, sex, etc. I know that realistically, if she has questions, she'll get the answers somewhere, and I would rather it be from me than from classmates with questionable morals, or heaven forbid certain sites online. I just don't remember being nearly so obsessed with things like that as a fifth grader, but times have apparently changed.

My dad wants me to contact the school board, but honestly, all that will accomplish is making her a target. The school year is over, so the school board can't really address the issue anyway, especially since all of these girls have now left elementary and will be going to the middle school next year. I talked with Morgan about it, and gave her some ideas of responses she can use if she's ever in that situation again, and told her how proud of her I am for knowing what kinds of conversations/games are not appropriate for her age, and for standing her ground even though the other girls gave her a hard time about it.

This week she's at church camp, and this year Nick went along as a counselor. It really surprised me when he volunteered, because he's just not the type of guy to feel comfortable in that kind of job, but he's been having a blast. Morgan didn't get back from DC until yesterday evening, so I had to take her up to camp myself, and then I took Daisy and Jack back tonight to join them for the evening meal and service.

Money has been incredibly tight the last few weeks (sadly I'm going to miss girl's night out for the first time this Thursday), but God has been providing the things we need, even if we haven't had room for extras.

I did get to do something really neat a few weeks ago. A while back I was at my friend Denise's house and noticed a painting in her kitchen. I asked if she had done it; it turned out that she had, at one of those group painting classes where a teacher walks you through each step. I mentioned that I had always wished I could paint and would love to try a class like that some time myself. A couple of weeks later she surprised me with tickets, and we had a great girls night out, just the two of us! Usually everybody in the class paints the same thing, but she took me on a painter's choice night where you could choose from any scene offered that month. She let me pick for both of us, and I chose these adorable owls to hang in the girls' room. Not exactly sophisticated subject matter, but I know my limits, and it was perfect for its intended home. I really, really want to go back and do it with Nick. He's the artist in the family, and he'd totally kick my butt at it, but I know we'd both have a blast.

Anyway, that's what's been happening around here. How are things with you guys?

Back in Line

I screwed up last week. Thursday was my monthly girls' night out dinner. Nick had told me that day that he wanted me to work on the dishes (ugh! More about the dishwasher later) and the laundry. I did work on both, but I didn't finish either before I had to leave for dinner, and I didn't get home until late. My friend A and I had made previous plans for me to go over to her house the next day for some sewing and crafting.

So early Friday morning I headed over to her house, with plans to be home before Nick and have dinner ready. I was making her a set of cute fabric envelopes to use with Dave Ramsey's Envelope System. Like most of my sewing projects, it took longer than expected, and when 2:30 rolled around and it was time to get Morgan from school, I was still working on them. I left Jack and Daisy with A and went to pick Morgan up, swung by the house to take the pork chops out of the freezer to thaw, and then headed back to A's.

Once there I called Nick to let him know where I was and what I was doing, telling him that I planned to hang out there till he got off work. He said that was fine, and I told him the pork chops were thawing and that if he didn't mind starting them if he made it home before me that would be great.

Now Nick gets off work at 5:00, so he was expecting me home by about 5:30. Unfortunately it was 8:30 by the time I left A's house. Plus Morgan was supposed to spend the night with my mom and dad, so she needed to get her overnight things and be taken to their house. I didn't want to stop and get her things and just take off again without starting dinner if Nick hadn't already done it, so my plan was to get it in the oven and run her out there while it was baking.

When I got home Nick seemed pretty irritated with me, but it took me a few minutes to realize I was in serious trouble. I got started on the pork chops (which were still in the fridge) right away and told Morgan to get her things together. After a few minutes Nick hollered and asked her if she was ready. She was still gathering her things, and I told him I was going to take her as soon as I had dinner in the oven. He more or less ignored me, so I went back to cooking.

When Morgan came back to the living room with her things, he told her to go get in the car.

"Honey, I'll take her - " I started.

"No, you'll get your butt in the kitchen and do the dishes like I told you to do yesterday!"

Um, okay. All of a sudden it became clear that he was more upset than I had realized. He left with Morgan, and I started doing dishes in between making the pasta salad, garlic bread, and tea. At one point I realized we were out of ice, and since we are currently without an ice maker, I called and asked him if he would pick up a bag on the way home. He agreed, but I could tell by his voice that he was seriously pissed at me.

By the time he got home I had his dinner waiting on the table. I paused in doing the dishes and pointed it out to him as he emptied the ice into the freezer. He acknowledged me, but he didn't really say anything, and then I guess he went upstairs, although I didn't notice at the time. I went back to washing dishes and in just a minute I heard him say, "Let's go. Come on."

 I turned around and he was at the foot of the stairs headed up. The end cap and porcelain knob had come off the cold water handle and were in my hand, and I remember very deliberately screwing them back on taking a deep breath. I followed him up the stairs, and when I got to the bedroom he was standing at the foot of the bed and the Cane-IAC Jr paddle was laid out on the bed.

I climbed onto the bed and sat quietly while he lectured me. He told me that he was pretty upset with me. He told me that he didn't mind me spending time at A's house, but that he expected me to take care of my responsibilities first. He pointed out that I'd come home over 3 hours late, and that I'd not finished my chores from the day before and had instead spent all day playing. As it turned out he had started to fix dinner, but the pan he needed for the pork chops was still dirty from the last time we'd used it. He told me that I had asked for this job and that I wasn't showing it any respect. He also said that there was the matter of a $24 key chain to deal with as well.

He was absolutely right about everything, and I wasn't going to insult him by feeding him a bunch of excuses, so I just apologized. He picked up the paddle and motioned for me to bend over. I turned over onto my stomach and braced myself, but the first swat took my breath away. It had been over 9 month since I'd been paddled, and despite my best intentions I couldn't stay put. I flipped over after the first 15 or so, and that didn't win me any brownie points. He made me turn over again and began spanking me even harder. By the time he was finished my bottom was on fire and I was a very contrite girl indeed. He stopped somewhere shy of 50 licks, but every one of them was a scorcher, and it didn't help matters that when I bent over I ended up facing the mirror and could see them coming.

When the spanking was over he put away the paddle and told me I could join him downstairs when I felt ready. I just lay there for a few minutes thinking about what had just happened and taking in the fact that he's really and truly back on board with this and I'm not going to be able to get away with things like I have been. I've had a sore bottom for two days, although it's been better today than yesterday.

About the dishwasher - it was supposed to be here May 1. On April 30 Best Buy called to tell me they would deliver it between 8 and 10 the next morning. Jack had a doctor's appointment at 10:15 (he weighs 10lb and 6oz now!), so I asked my parents if they would come and be here for the delivery if they didn't bring it before I had to leave.

I got back home at 11:30 and the dishwasher still had not arrived. I got on the phone with Best Buy, and the girl said, "Um, it says they need to reschedule for some reason, but let me...hmmm. Let me call the driver and call you back."

Okay.

After about an hour she called back and sheepishly explained that due to some sort of glitch in the system the dishwasher had not actually been shipped to them and would have to be reordered. She offered to either cancel the order entirely for us if we wanted, or to refund $100 of the price if we still wanted to order. Well, we need the dishwasher, so I told her to reorder, but now it won't be here till May 17th. Grrr!

The irony is that when we bought our current dishwasher 6 years ago from Best Buy, the same thing happened. We went to pick it up and waited 45 minutes in the store while they tried to locate it. Finally they came out and told us that due to a system glitch the order hadn't gone through and it would have to be reordered. That time they only knocked $50 off though, so at least we got a bigger discount this time.

Anyway, maybe it will get here eventually.

When putting this post together I went looking for a picture of our Cane-IAC paddle and realized that all of my implement pictures as well as just about any other spanking related images are gone from my computer. I honestly don't have anything pornographic on here anyway, but any kinky stuff I had I kept in hidden folders just in case Morgan uses the computer, and I guess they didn't get saved when the computer repair place transferred all my data. Oh well. I guess it's time I took an updated inventory anyway, so it's a good excuse to get out my camera.

Have a good night everybody!

Just a quick post

Just popping in for a minute. This week has been lovely so far. My friend A has come over twice, and we've spent some time sewing and crafting, always fun for me. She has a baby girl 4 1/2 weeks older than Jack, and she and I were literally in the church nursery together, that's how long we've known each other. She's my oldest and certainly one of my dearest friends, and I've had so much fun spending time with her.

Monday morning Nick told me he wanted the bedroom cleaned that day. He called about 2:00 and asked if I had it done. That was one of the days A came over, so I told him I was hanging out with her at the time being and would get it done.

After she left I still had a couple of hours before he came home, so I got started, but Jack immediately became very fussy and clingy. I was caught up nursing him for a while, so I texted Nick and told him the baby was slowing me down a bit.

"No excuses" he texted back.

"But what if I can't get it done before you get home?"

"I think you know."

As it happens I did get it done before he got home, although I still need to vacuum. So anyway, I didn't get paddled, and in fact he decided to let me off the hook for some disrespect the night before that he had promised to deal with. There's theoretically still the matter of a rather expensive keyring I bought without permission, but he's not mentioned it since Monday night when he told me I was still in trouble for that, so I don't know if he'll actually deal with it or not. If I'm being honest, I don't want the spanking, but I do need to know that he means it, so I probably need it whether I want it or not. I knew when I bought it I was paying too much and that he wouldn't let me get it if he knew, but I really wanted it, so I bought it.

It seems strange to me to have him back actively in charge after so long without any sign of discipline. But it also feels remarkably like coming home, and I'm so grateful to him for making the effort.

Anyway, off to bed. Night all!