What if we could...

Hello, all. Still here, still getting spanked pretty regularly, which is beautiful to me. Thursday we ended up doing what Nick dubbed a "Thursday Extravaganza" since we didn't get to get to it the week before. As intimidating as that title may be, it was very firm but not at all brutal.


For the last few days I've had an interesting fantasy floating around in my head. Not strictly a sexual fantasy so much as just a story that makes me happy. This one is out of the ordinary for me in that the story line is not actually within the realm of possibility. For me it's always been hard to get lost in a fantasy if you couldn't look too closely at it and not have it fall apart. It would be okay for me to imagine a story set in pre-Civil War America, but not one set on some far off planet. Not that there's not merit in stories of that style, but they don't really speak to me. That's why the idea that has captured my imagination and my libido the last few days is so unusual for me. First of all, some background:


Years ago, during the first year or so of our marriage, Nick and I lived in a small, older house that we rented from a group of siblings who had inherited the house when their parents passed away. It was a three bedroom home, but the back bedroom was completely crammed full of things that the siblings had yet to go through and get rid of. There was only one closet in the whole house, and it was also full of their things. Our bedroom was very small and almost completely filled by the king sized water bed Nick's parents had given us. Most of Nick's clothes filled up the chest of drawers in our room, so that left the other bedroom to store the rest of his clothes and all of mine in. Now there was a built in armoire in the spare bedroom, but it wasn't nearly big enough to hold all the rest of the clothes for both of us. With those limitations, it was reasonable to expect that the spare bed would end up being storage for clean folded laundry, and if that had been the case, it wouldn't have been a problem. Where the problem came up was when you factored in just how much I hate to do laundry and added in the fact that we had no concept at all of the idea of domestic discipline. In a ridiculously short time period the room was pretty much a sea of clean and dirty laundry (probably more dirty than clean), with no real system to separate the two. I knew that Nick wouldn't be happy with the situation, so I pretty much kept the door shut on it and only went in it when he wasn't paying attention.

Unfortunately, that didn't work forever. I can't remember what exactly led to him opening that door, but he was already mad when he did it. If I had to guess I'd say that he was pissed off because he couldn't find something in particular that should have long since gone through the wash and ended back up in his chest of drawers. The explosion that followed was legendary. Nick started pitching everything in the room out into the living room, presumably for me to sort and wash, although I'm not sure he was capable of such reasonable thought at the time. What made it even worse was that a couple of his friends unexpectedly dropped by just as his ranting reached a fever pitch. It's the only time that he's ever really yelled at me in front of anyone, and I was terribly embarrassed. His friends on the other hand were so impressed by his rage that they still tell the story at parties. In fact, they brought it up just this past summer.

In almost twelve years of marriage, he's only been that mad at me maybe one other time. We were married for 5 1/2 years before we discovered DD, and for me that one occasion has always stood out to me as the shining example of why I wish we'd been introduced to it sooner. And that's where the fantasy comes in.

I've been imagining what it would be like if older, wiser, 2010 Nick and Tracy could show up just before that infamous fight and offer some guidance to our younger selves. I'd love to be able to talk to 21 year old Tracy and hand her the key to unlock the secret of her need for spanking. I'd love to explain to her that the spankings she craved were much more abstractly sexual than literally sexual, that what would really meet her needs would be discipline, and that this was in fact even a possibility. I like to imagine Nick taking his younger self aside and giving him a heads up on just what lurked behind that door, then advising him on how to deal with it. I like to think that we would sit younger Nick and Tracy down together and assure them that it was all perfectly acceptable, that it would feel strange at first but would get easier, and most of all that it would be infinitely worth it.

A few other things I'd tell young me- it will hurt (it's supposed to); I PROMISE, if he wants to stop doing this, he will - don't constantly imagine you're a hassle for him; if you need a bit more, tell him; understand that he is not a mind reader, and many things that you feel like he should spank for might not even be on his radar; don't waste your time and his patience by doing something to purposely get spanked - if you feel like you need a spanking, let him know, even if you have to leave a note on his pillow; someday you'll be very tempted to tell your friend R - don't, she'll never quite understand, and she'll always judge you both a little bit for it; someday you will get to know and love real live people just like you; you have to understand that the real secret to a happy marriage is learning to meet each other's needs out of love alone, not because it will make them do something nice for you; never, ever get out of the routine of going to church; the greatest gift you can give him is not your submission, precious though that may be - it's your respect; Wal-Mart, the Dollar Tree, and the Goodwill are excellent places to build a spanking implement arsenal.

Some advice I'd have for young Nick - it's okay to make her cry (in fact she'll feel better if she reaches that point); don't waste time spanking for things you don't care about - it will make the whole thing feel fake, but pay close attention to just what things really do bother you and spank for them every time; Consistency with a capital C; spankings are magic - they can salvage almost any bad mood if you give them lovingly; this is something your wife needs; if you spank her when she needs it outside the bedroom she will very rarely want it in the bedroom and you can quit being afraid she wants it every time you have sex; get in her head if you want a spanking to really be effective - make her think about it for a few hours first, lecture her on why it's happening, put her in the corner with her panties down before and/or after, make her bring you the paddle (btw, get a less scary paddle than the oak monstrosity you made when you were dating - she's not ready for it yet); it's okay to bruise her bottom sometimes; very rarely will it be beneficial to either of you to let her out of a spanking she's actually earned; your wife does not want you to be her father - she wants you to be her leader; sometimes she will need to be spanked just because she needs to be reminded of your authority - it's pretty easy to recognize these times because that will be when she's being a bitch; being firm, consistent, and willing to discipline is the surest way to make her feel safe; spanking is not your only option - it's probably the most effective, but it will sometimes be good to try grounding or extra chores too; this is not a fleeting notion for your wife - it's a very deep part of her, and you alone have the power to do this for her; if you say you'll spank, do it, and do your very best to get to it the same day.

And what punishment would we recommend for newly married Tracy? I think it's safe to say that a good spanking is a fairly obvious choice. (But your friends are going to show up any minute, so wait till they leave). I would go farther than that though. I would suggest that she have a set bedtime until the room is clean and all the laundry washed and folded. Let her work on it till bedtime each night, then spank her again and put her to bed until she's all finished. I can say in all honestly that I wish that's how it had gone all those years ago.

All of this has made me think about what other advice I'd go back and give myself if I could: balance your checkbook religiously; don't join that gym or sign up with that cell phone company - they'll both screw you over; eat out less and cook together more; cherish your time before you have kids - they are beyond precious, but you won't have this kind of freedom again for years; pray together and for each other; God has wonderful things in store for you, don't get discouraged; don't ever forget to be considerate of each other; $2800 is way too much to pay for a 30 year old Chevy Blazer - don't do it; oh, and someday Nick will buy a Suburban - park it in the back yard.

Wouldn't it be great if we could actually do that? In other news, I got to order my camera this weekend, and I'm super excited about it! It should be here by the end of next week (hopefully sooner), and I plan to get with some of my friends to take family/kid pictures to build my portfolio once I've had a chance to learn all the bells and whistles. Hopefully by this summer I can start actually getting some business to help contribute to our family income. My goal starting out is just to sell something every month. The package Nick let me get comes with the camera (a Nikon D90), six lenses, a full size and a mini tri-pod, extra memory, a camera bag, a backpack case, a hard shell case, a flash, a remote, several filters, training software and all kinds of other goodies, so I've got enough equipment to really be able to do a professional job.

Anyway, this has got to be the longest post I've put up for ages, so I'm off to bed. Have a great week!