A nice weekend

Yesterday and today was this year's marriage conference at our church. It was a really great experience, and I very much enjoyed this time with my husband. Last night we had a talk about the role spanking plays in our marriage, and I think I've finally gotten a pretty good handle on what my needs are in that regard. The other night Nick got out some of our Cane-IAC stuff and we played around for a bit with it. Everything was wonderful, but I just wasn't much in the mood to play, and we didn't go very far with it. Since then I've really been thinking about it, and I've realized that more often than not, spanking during sex is not really what I want and need.

Now this is not me announcing that I'm no longer a spanko, because that's definitely not the case. I've just finally come to grasp that spanking for me primarily meets a deep need for safety and discipline. And while nothing gets me going like the thought of being spanked, when it's not actually addressing an issue (whether punishment, warning, or just plain stress management), it kind of...trivializes it. I don't know if that's really the best way to put it, but it's like I need it to be a situation where he's meeting an actual need of mine, not just smacking my butt, for it to be fulfilling for me.

That doesn't mean that I don't sometimes love to be spanked in bed - I do. I guess I just need for it to have context. The best sexual spankings I've ever gotten have been after hard punishment spankings, when I'm feeling safe and loved and taken care of and feel the second spanking as a continuation of the first, with all the guilt feelings dealt with and out of the way.

I think I managed to communicate this to Nick, hopefully better than I seemed to have conveyed it here, and I think it was a generative conversation. Anyway, that's just the way I feel, the rest of you can feel free to have all the fun, sexy, context-free spankings you want. As for me, I think (hope maybe) there will be something a bit more serious in my near future.

In the cool new stuff category, Nick bought me this very cool shirt at the marriage conference.

And I've totally fallen in love with and highly recommend this website. I got my first orders today, and I'm very impressed! A friend emailed me the link, and I thought, well that's just too good to be true. But I did some research, and everything pointed to a very legitimate company. So with Nick's okay, I took a chance, and I was very pleased! I will definitely be a repeat customer!