Creativity and Other Stuff

On the DD forum I consider home, I was reading an old thread on corner time. This is something we've never tried, but I have to admit, the idea intrigues me. In a play situation, I could see it as very erotic, but it's the idea of using it in punishment that fascinates me. I think it would outrage me at first, but it would definitely get my head where it needed to be.

The most effective punishments for me are when Nick gets a bit creative with them. Making me count, making me bare myself, making me tell him why I'm getting spanked - all of those things take me from the mindset of just "getting through it" and put me squarely in a very submissive and accepting place. Most of the time, the hardest part for me mentally is just bending over. If my panties do come down, he usually takes them down himself, so getting myself into position is the the only "action" I have to take in getting the punishment. When he makes me continue to actively participate, it takes away my ability to concentrate on getting to the end of it and makes me think about what I did to get there in the first place.

He once broke a spanking down swat by swat. He would give me a very hard swat, then say, "Are you ever going to ____again?" Then he would give me another hard swat and ask, "And are you ever going to____ again?" I was in tears long before the spanking was over, something that rarely happens. I think that it helped so much because it let me know how invested he was in making sure the lesson was learned and the problem fixed.

When we first started DD, Nick spanked me because it was what he was "supposed to do" according to the "rules" of DD. We were both finding our way, and it seemed sensible to have a list of rules to go by. Those spankings helped me a lot in establishing new habits, but after a while, it started to feel like we were just going through a routine, and we both felt it. At that point, Nick asked me if I felt like what we were doing was effective, and he started to take a more proactive role in deciding when I needed discipline. We basically threw out the list of rules, and he started spanking me only for the things that actually mattered in our life. It's made a tremendous difference to me to know that DD (and thus me) is actually important to him.

I get spanked less often now than I did in the beginning, but when I do get spanked, it's because it really is the best thing for me at that time, not because some guideline says that that's what happens next. Sometimes now he doesn't spank when the rules would have said he should, and sometimes he spanks just because I need it to clear my head, even if I haven't "done" anything.

One of the nicest realizations that I had was that there's no "right" way to do this, and the fact that we've made this ours is why it works for us.