Eeeep!

I'm so getting a spanking. I'm too embarrassed to go into what I did, but suffice it to say it involves the bank account. The fact that I fixed the issue may go a bit toward mitigating the punishment, but it's still going to be a pretty bad one. Not looking forward to this one.

Hehehe...

Grabbed from Lady C:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
sex (5x)
sexy (4x)
pain (3x)
death (2x)
porn (1x)

Blog rating

And since the last post was no fun...

A few goodies I found on Photobucket:

Ugghh!

Warning - this is a non-spanking and kind of gross post, so if you want to skip, feel free.

Well this sucks. Okay, about 8 years ago I had a small sebaceous cyst develop on my right upper back/shoulder area. I went to my doctor, and he told me that it was nothing to worry about. It was painless, and not very large, just a bump under my skin, so I let it go. But after about 2 years, it became infected and abcessed. It was incredibly painful, and surgery to excise it was recommended. I didn't want to do the surgery for a couple of reasons, not the least of which was anxiety about the anesthesia. The doctor gave me a shot of antibiotics, and within a few days the cyst came to a head and ruptured. This was AWFUL. The stuff inside had to be squeezed out of the very sore surrounding tissue, and it was literally worse than childbirth. Well, once that was done, I decided to definitely not have the surgery, because the infection was gone, and with a 4 and 1/2 month old baby, I didn't need to deal with not being able to lift for a couple of weeks, which would've been the case after surgery.

Everything was fine for another two years. Then the cyst started coming back. It wasn't infected, but it was growing. Morgan was a toddler by then, and with the memory of all the pain before in mind, I told Nick I was going to get it removed before it became infected again. Literally two days after that conversation, before I could get in to see the doctor, infection set in again. I scheduled the surgery for as soon as possible, but that turned out to be a couple of weeks away, and it ruptured again before then. I went through the whole painful draining process again. I went ahead with the surgery so that it wouldn't happen again.

Unfortunately, the surgeon I ended up with was less than competent. I didn't realize to what extent until just recently. After the surgery I had a rather large scar, but the surgeon told me that this was because he'd had to do a lot of digging to get it all and berated me for not coming in before it ruptured this time (like I wanted to wait three weeks for the surgery). He was rude and belligerent the whole time I dealt with him, but I just wrote it off as him having a bad bedside manner. When I went back in to have the stitches removed, rather than cleaning them to loosen any scabbing around them, he basically ripped them out and left me bleeding again. I probably should have talked to someone at the hospital about his manner and treatment, but I was too intimidated, and I just wanted the whole thing done with.

As my scar healed I realized just what a lazy job he had done of sewing me back up. The scar is about three inches long, and he only put in about 6 stitches. I have scars from each of the stiches running across the main scar, and the whole thing is really ugly. Okay, the appearance has always bothered me, but at least I wouldn't have to deal with the cyst again, right? Wrong. The cyst is back. While we were on vacation I showed it to Nick, and he told me that I needed to go get it removed again, this time by a competent surgeon. I agreed, but it became infected again before we could get back in town. By the time Nick and I were alone and settled in Thursday night I was in too much pain for us to play. I went to the doctor again yesterday morning and he gave me more antibiotics to hopefully clear up the infection. This is the worst possible time for this to happen, because I'm in Nick's sister's wedding in two weeks, in a lovely spaghetti strap bridesmaid's dress. I was going to cover the scar with make-up, but it's going to be a bit more difficult now.

A side note about the surgeon who did the excision: My brother is a surgical tech, and the other day was was telling my mother about this horrible doctor he assisted in a gallbladder removal. Now obviously I'm no surgeon myself, but my brother said that a gallbladder removal is one of the most technically simple surgeries out there. During this simple procedure, the surgeon manage to stab the patient's liver with his scalpel and spill bile all over the open cavity. My brother refused to finish assisting and got someone else to do it because he didn't want to be involved with anything happening in the room. He said this doctor was basically butchering the patient, and the man should not be in practice. I asked him if he was going to report him, and he said that he's been reported numerous times, but he's been lucky enough not to kill anyone yet, so nothing has been done about him. Then I asked him the doctor's name. Yep, it was my surgeon. My brother told me I was lucky not to have ended up with an infection and died.

I won't list his name here, because I have no desire to put something so regionally identifying to myself on here, but I will say that he works solely for Baptist Health Systems. If you are facing surgery with someone in that system, if you will email me with your surgeon's name, I'll tell you if you it's this guy or not.

Anyway, please keep me in your prayers. I'm in a lot of pain right now, and chances are it will get worse before it gets better. Ideally I'd love for the infection to go away and the cyst to be reabsorbed. I really don't want to go through another surgery.

We're back!

We're back from the lake. It was lovely there most of the time, although it did rain a couple of days. Even that was welcome, though - it really cooled things down to a pleasant temperature. It was a lot of fun, but it's good to be back home. My mom is watching Morgan tonight, so Nick and I have some time alone. And on that note...

Happy Father's Day!

Vacation

My vacation starts today - yipee! This evening we'll begin our yearly trip to the cabin where we spent our honeymoon - we'll be up there through Wednesday. I'll be taking my laptop just in case, but I don't think there will be wi-fi close by, so I probably won't be posting again until we get back. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers this week - I had a job interview this past Thursday for a position in another department. I know that this is in God's hands and that if it's part of His plan the job will be mine, but if it's not, I need grace to be content where I'm at now. The good news is that I got a raise yesterday, which makes my current job a little more appealing. My company has various pay grades for different positions, and each pay grade has a range of about $7.00 an hour. My current job is a pay grade under the one I interviewed for, but the grades overlap a great deal. What that means is that as I'm in the middle of my pay grade now, I could actually be offered less if they wanted to start me out at the bottom of the next pay grade. I can't take the job if that's the case, even if they do offer it to me, because we can't afford for me to take a cut. Also, the new job would require me to pay for monthly parking, which is free where I'm at now. What I'm really hoping for is that they will give me the job at what I'm making now plus about 20¢ on the hour, which will cover the parking cost but still fall well within the pay grade (in the lower half even). That would make this a lateral move income-wise, but the job really appeals to me on a number if levels, and it would also put me in the department where one of my best girlfriends works. Not a necessity, I know, but certainly a nice bonus! I love my company, but after seven and 1/2 years doing the same thing, another department would be nice for a change. At any rate, I should hear back sometime this week. I'll leave you with this cute icon I found surfing Photobucket:

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Gratitude Tuesday

It's Gratitude Tuesday again! Today I want to say how grateful I am for all of (well, most of) our spanking toys! We have a ton, as pictures I've posted will attest, and they all have their merit. Last night I got a lovely good girl spanking with both of our Leather Thorn paddles - yum!

To mention a few of the best:

Jokari: Okay, this one is almost never any fun, but when it comes to my deepest discipline needs, it absolutely gets the job done, and I have to say I'm glad we have it.

The AngelBrat Paddle: This one is lovely. It was a Christmas gift a couple of years ago, one of my favorites ever. It really packs a punch when used for punishment, but it's soooo amazing for erotic spanking!

The Brat Paddle: Another one of John's creations, this one was a gift from him. It's a lighter version of the AngelBrat Paddle, and equally amazing!

The Lady Elizabeth Bath Brush: This is my favorite brush. It's the second one we've had, and we got it at Wal-Mart for less that $4.00. Sadly it seems that they've stopped carrying them, although they have the rest of the Lady Elizabeth bath care line. Somehow a bath loofah on a stick doesn't seem as threatening.

Spanko font...

So I found this font today. It's called "Pale Bottom." Just so you know.

Spanking Hasselhoff Style

For all you Knight Rider and Baywatch fans...

New Links

I have a new round of links for you to visit!

Amber's Spank Blog

Amber's Spanking Journey

BB's Spanking Adventures

Cornertime for Naughty Girls

Daddy's Little Deviant

More Than This

My Scratching Post

Naughty Princess Gets Spanked

One Spanko's Thoughts

Spank A Bottom

Spanked Men

And one that especially intrigues me:

The Spanking Bench

Gratitude Tuesday

Today I'm thankful for my friends. I am blessed with some truly wonderful people in my life. Nick of course is my best friend, and I thank God for him every day. Before we were romantically involved we were the closest of friends, and that has helped lay a solid foundation for our marriage.

I have a couple of very close girlfriends with whom I can share almost everything, and recently I've had the pleasure of rebuilding friendships with some old friends I'd lost touch with over the years.

Last, but certainly not least, I have some wonderful friends here online! My relationships with some of you here is every bit as real and special as my relationships with friends I see in the flesh on a regular basis. And there's definitely a level to our relationships that goes beyond those flesh and blood friends - not only can I share the part of me that is DD and spanking, but you understand!

Happy Gratitude Tuesday!

After all...

So I didn't get spanked Friday night. We had so much going on that we just didn't have the time to get to it. Saturday we had the yard sale in the morning and my reunion dinner until late that night. The plan was to take care of it by yesterday, but we had church in the morning, Morgan and I took a long nap, and after I got back up, Nick and I stayed up watching a movie we'd had for a week and hadn't had a chance to watch yet. By the time we got to bed Nick was too tired, and honestly, to me it seemed pointless by then anyway. I no longer needed to be motivated for the yard sale, and my dinner was over (and went quite well by the way). I was feeling a real need for him to be dominant, but I knew he was tired, so I didn't push it.

Today when I got home I got on the phone with a good friend who was at the dinner and we spent a couple of hours talking about how the night went and reminiscing about the people who were there and how they were in high school. Before I knew it Nick was home. I hung up with my friend and started asking him about his day. While I'd been on the phone Morgan had made a mess in the kitchen and left a few toys in the bathroom. I was playing online while I asked him about his day, and I could hear him muttering as he came across each mess. The final straw though was when he went to the kitchen to fix himself something to drink.

"Young lady! Come here!" I heard him yell. Something told me sitting where I was and asking what he wanted would be a bad idea. I got up, and by the time I got to the kitchen he was headed up the stairs. My heart sinking, I followed him up, and as soon as I got to the bedroom he took down the orange spatula and demanded to know how many times I thought I was going to walk past a sink full of dishes without loading the dishwasher. He turned me around and pushed me down over the bed and went to work on my bottom. It didn't take very long at all to have me begging and promising, and it was with a very sore bottom that I loaded the dishwasher. It seems that there was a point after all.

Round two...

Well, I've been introduced to the orange spatula I bought the other day. Last night's spanking was relatively short, but hard. No flower marks, but plenty of redness.

It turned out to be more for punishment than I was expecting due mostly to the fact that I wasn't paying attention night before last when he told me he wanted the bathroom sink cleared of all the random lotions and potions I don't use on a daily basis and wiped sparkling clean. I wasn't purposely ignoring what he told me to do, but I didn't listen like I should have.

I ended up getting somewhere around 35 or 40 licks, and I've got a nice bruise on each cheek today. He told me last night that he plans to revisit the Icy Hot during tonight's spanking. I'm off to clean the bathroom sink...

Just what I need...

Last night was just what I needed. When I get spanked, it's nearly always just before bed, and as always, I got nervous as the hour approached. Finally, I asked Nick if we could postpone it until today. It was later than he'd realized, and after some consideration, he agreed. I had to work today, so I was ready to go to sleep, and I asked him to come tuck me in. I went up to bed, and he followed within a few minutes. He lay down beside me, holding me close, and I confessed to being scared. It had been a while since I'd been spanked hard, and it's always hard for me to get mentally prepared in that situation.

The fact is, I really wanted him to just do it and get it over with, but I couldn't open my mouth to make that happen. Fortunately, my husband is wise. He pulled down my panties and gave me a few solid swats with his hand before getting up to get an implement. He grabbed the strap and came back to the bed. He's said in the past that he doesn't like the strap because he feels like it's hard to control, but he didn't miss a lick last night. He alternated between his hand and the leather, and it wasn't long before my bottom was on fire. I tried to stay still, but I got out of position once. That of course only extended the spanking.

Finally he told me that I was going to get five more and I'd better hold still. A lot of my spankings end that way, a clear "You're getting ___ more" which is a good thing to me. It very clearly tells me that the spanking is ending when he feels like it needs to and not when he's tired of putting me back into position. One thing about it though, the smaller that number, the harder they're going to be. Once he makes that kind of announcement, the spanking moves to a new level of severity either way, but "50 more" has less force per swat than "5 more." Trust me, he made these five count. That strap landed across the middle of both cheeks like a line of fire.

When the spanking was done he held me close until I was calm, and then got behind me and pulled me to my knees. Sex after a serious spanking is always amazing for me because I'm in such a submissive and cared for place. Afterwards he held me some more, then hopped up to find something. When he came up with a tube of some sort I grinned, certain he was holding our lubricating gel. Imagine my surprise when I felt the unmistakable burn of Icy-Hot spread across my well spanked bottom. I looked at him in wide-eyed shock and watched the diabolical glee on his face as his fingers moved with purpose between my cheeks and pushed into my butt hole. I spent the next few minutes squirming beside him while he administered a few hard smacks on my blazing butt.

He's never done such a thing before, and as intensely uncomfortable as it was, it left me deeply submissive and turned on. After a bit he washed his hands and tended to another nearby part of my anatomy with great success. He's decided that I'll be spanked tonight and tomorrow night as well. I'm hosting an informal dinner out for some people I went to high school with on Saturday, and a very sore bottom is just what I need for that night. I tend to obsess over things going right, and he wants me well aware of just how much he loves me and how little, in the grand scheme of things, it matters how well this dinner goes.

I love my husband!

Dropping In...

Just a quick post. I'm supposed to get a thorough spanking tonight. It's not quite punishment, but not exactly light-hearted either - it's intended to deal with several issues. First of all it's going to reset my stress level, currently high from various things I've been dealing with, some of them mentioned previously. Second of all, I've been less than enthusiastic with the house lately. I've made token efforts, but they've been only that, and I need a little stern reminding of how important it is to stay on top of things. Lastly, we have a yard sale planned for this weekend, and there are piles of "merchandise" all over the place. This is going to be a bit of forceful motivation to get everything organized and in place by tomorrow night. I can't say I'm looking forward to getting spanked, but I know I'll be glad for it when it's done. I have some great new links to put up, but I need to get through all of this stuff first.

Gratitude Tuesday

This is a very specific Gratitude Tuesday. I posted a few days ago about a friend who was very likely facing the end of her marriage. Today I'm grateful that that's not the case after all.

Monday she sent me an email that said, "You will not believe what God has done for me!!!"

Of course I emailed her back asking "What?!?! What?!?!?"

The story she told me left me very skeptical at first (not of God's ability in this, but of the story her husband was telling her). She met him yesterday to (she thought) make visitation plans for him with their daughter. What she got when she met him stunned her. He told her that he had some things to tell her, one of which was that the affair and the baby on the way were a complete fabrication. (Now you see why I was skeptical).

Some background information: in the past, he has been unfaithful. Ten months or so ago he became a Christian, and that was the point at which their marriage began to turn around. However, at one point after that he moved back out, although he remained faithful during that time. He is a person who has always struggled with the ability to cope with stress, and he has a tendency to feel worthless when things go wrong and to spiral down to the point where he feels like his family would be better without him. That's what happened when he moved out, and that's what happened last week. Part of the trigger was a birthday party he threw for her that had a few hitches, and the spiral started.

He truly felt like he was unworthy to be a husband and father, but he knew that if he told her that, she would try to make him stay. This time he felt like she would be better off if she got over him and moved on. Back when he legitimately was unfaithful, she told him that if it happened again he was gone, no questions asked. So to keep her from trying to make him stay, he invented a story of more infidelity and a baby on the way.

Now I'm sure you're thinking (as I was) oh right, that's likely. There was always a question on her mind on when this could've happened (since he was really almost always with her or their daughter when he wasn't at work). And she'd seen no sign that there was any kind of cheating on his part (as there had been before). Of course those reasons alone wouldn't be convincing. What is convincing is that the girl he said he had the affair with moved out of the state almost a year ago. He chose her as the star of this story specifically because it was something my friend would be unable to follow up on. The affair just wasn't possible.

Sunday night he found himself in a very scary situation in a bad neighborhood, and he found himself looking death in the face. This experience was enough to bring himself to his senses and make him realize what a gift he was throwing away.

Things obviously aren't totally okay between them, but they've agreed to work things out, and they will go to counseling, both separately and together. They still need a whole lot of prayer, but I just praise God that He has given them (and their daughter) another chance.

Utensil of death...

Like Bethie, I have a very greedy bottom, and anyone who's read here much at all has seen that it's led me to come home with some very interesting toys. Today I picked up this monster. It's a steel spatula/turner covered in 900° resistant silicone. This thing is HEAVY, and as you can see, it has the potential to leave some very interesting patterns. As of yet it's untried, so I've got to stay out of real trouble until I can get a good girl spanking with it and it won't have that new implement appeal for Nick!

Bittersweet...

Morgan had her kindergarten graduation tonight. She looked so pretty and she did so well! I can't believe my baby girl is in the first grade - it makes me so proud and so very sad at the same time. It seems like it was just yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital. All of a sudden I look up and realize that she's headed toward six and 1/2. In October I'll have half a teenager! I turn thirty this year, and it seems like all of a sudden my life is hurtling by.

This has been a sad month for me. A few weeks ago I found out that one of my oldest and dearest friends has developed some frightening neurological issues. She's 28 years old and had two little boys. She's still waiting on some tests results, but the symptoms are disturbing to say the least. Her doctor is saying things like "eventually end up in a wheelchair" and "probably need a pacemaker at some point."

Another close friend is very likely looking at the end of her marriage. Her birthday was Tuesday, and she's been stressed about the big 3-0 for months now. As silly as it is, she's really been worried about this birthday. Over the last couple of years she's had to battle with unfaithfulness on the part of her husband. He seemed to have really turned things around though, and the last nine months had been very good. Wednesday, the day after she turned thirty, he announced that he'd been having an affair until about three months ago, and that his mistress contacted him a few days ago to tell him she's pregnant. This is the third time I've been through this with her, and it tears me apart every time. Hopefully this will be the last. I'm not a fan of divorce, but I think it's time she moved on. She deserves so much better, and I believe there's a great guy out there for her. The saddest part of all is that they have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who doesn't understand why Daddy keeps leaving her.

I'm so very blessed to have an amazing man like Nick, and I thank God for him every day. But I tend to feel guilty having such a wonderful relationship in the face of what she's going through, and I always feel like I'm less effective as a friend in this situation because of it.

I've also had a bit of a disappointment at work. A position came open in another department and I applied for it. It wasn't a position I was in love with, and it was basically a lateral move, but I would've been working literally three minutes from home, and with gas prices that was a real draw. And there would have been room to move up from there, which there's not a whole lot of where I'm at now.

Okay, now I'm not being conceited in saying that I'm overqualified for this position. I've been with the company for over seven years, and in my current job I work on every system I'd use in the one I applied for, as well as quite a few others that go beyond what the new position would require. In fact, my current job is providing support for the one that opened up.

I did some research and contacted the person in charge of placing people, introduced myself, and basically felt pretty good about my chances. The guy in charge faxed me a survey to fill out, and I did this and faxed it back. This morning I got a form email back telling me I failed to meet the minimum requirements for the position. I have to admit, I was a little stunned, so I contacted the guy and asked if he could elaborate on his decision so that I could improve my chances for next time.

It turns out that the survey, which was multiple choice, had a point value for each answer. I aced it, except for the section on sales, which consisted of exactly one question. My current job is in customer service, not really a sales position, so I rated my selling ability in the top half of the population but not the top 20%. I do very well at what sales are involved in my job, but it's just not a big part of it.

That one answer knocked me out of consideration, and once you're denied for a position, you're barred from reapplying for six months. I know that it probably wasn't meant to be, and that's fine. Like I said, I wasn't really in love with the position anyway, but I'm really irritated with the way this whole thing was conducted. To reject a qualified applicant out of hand because of a form survey that takes very little into consideration and because of that prevent them from moving in that direction for six months seems pointless and terribly bad for morale. If I had gotten that answer after an interview, I would have felt that at least I'd had a chance to present myself for consideration, and I wouldn't have been as bothered. I just felt like it was poor form. It left a bad taste in my mouth, and I hate to think of it happening to someone else who may be just as qualified and really, really want the job.

Anyway, enough of my bitching. Nick has promised to schedule an "ass-beating and blow job night" soon, and I can't wait!

Gratitude Tuesday

It's Gratitude Tuesday! Here's it is, short and sweet: I'M GRATEFUL FOR SPANKING!!!!!

I got a very fun little spanking with one of Morgan's belts that Nick found lying around a few minutes ago, and now I have that warm, fuzzy, smiley, horny feeling all over. Spanking adds a rich dimension to our sex life (for me anyway!), but it does so much more.

It gives Nick a way to keep me in line, and a way to ease my heart and mind when stress overwhelms me. It makes me feel safe and loved and sexy. And it's fun! Hooray for spanking!

Spanko fun stuff

Inspired by Bonnie and the always entertaining Generator Blog.

Gratitude Tuesday

Today I want to express my gratitude for the things in my life that, while not on par with my family, are certainly important, and I'm very blessed to have them:

My house. We bought our house 5 1/2 years ago, when Morgan was just six months old. We moved here from a very old and rather rickety trailer (vigorous lovemaking once put one leg of our bed through the floor) that we were renting from my grandfather. The trailer was set far back from the road, and when I was pregnant we were robbed. I never felt safe there again, and it was a huge relief to move into a secure home with neighbors close by.

My car. Believe me, we've had a few vehicles that you couldn't call reliable unless you were referring to their tendency to leave us stranded. It's very nice to have one that dependently gets me from point A to point B.

My job. It's not always fun, and it can be frustrating at times, but it pays relatively well for what I do, the insurance is cheaper than at Nick's place of employment, and I get three weeks of vacation a year. All in all, I can't complain.

My church. We joined our church about a year ago, and it's truly amazing.

My computer. My laptop is my favorite toy, absolutely the best gift Nick's ever bought me. And even better, it's got so many friends in it!

Well those are a few, many more to come in the weeks ahead.

Happy Gratitude Tuesday!