Last night was crappy. I don't really know why - nothing major happened. But I had no patience for anything, and I was in a horrible mood. I was late coming home because I had to stop at the grocery store. Then I spent a long time cooking dinner, and Morgan insisted on "helping" the whole time. It was stressful enough to juggle a hundred different things (spaghetti, meat sauce, 3 different bowls for the squash bread I was determined to make, plus the sauce pan of squash butter to go with the bread), but it was just nervewracking to try to do that while stepping over a cat, a dog, and a four year old who's trying to "clean your sink for you" and making serious headway on flooding the countertops. She's the most precious child ever, and even at times like that I don't lose sight of it - which fact added the extra stress of remaining diplomatic and not screaming like a madwoman.
Admittedly, I was a bit put out with Nick too, since he was enjoying some nice peaceful TV, only rousing to entertain our daughter when I stomped in and demanded he do something with her. Something turned out to be a pillow fight - always a hit with her - but it didn't hold her attention for long, and soon she was back to "help me" put the cheese in the spaghetti - which generally meant flinging it around the sink. By the time dinner was done, Nick had dozed off on the couch. I woke him up and rather purposefully asked him if he'd mind getting up and eating the dinner I'd spent two hours cooking. He shot me a look, but got up and ate. Then went to bed. Aaaarrrggghhh!
Last night was the exact sort of time when I really, really need to be spanked. Unfortunately, at such a time I have no strength for heavy sighs, telling hesitations, or just being put off. Not that any of those would have necessarily been his reaction had I asked, but when everything's going wrong, I just can't envision any other outcome. I don't have the courage to ask and risk being a burden. But I need it. I need him to jerk me up and whip me very hard and certainly long enough to get my attention. And I need him to be the one to see the need and step up, dammit! A bit much to ask, I know, but there it is.
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6 comments:
It sounds to me that Nick didn't give you the spanking for being bitchy because he knew you wanted it. So instead he punished you by doing nothing.
It's like the old Dave Allen at Large joke where he is a sadist and his male partner is the masacist (sp), the masacist (sp) wants to be beaten but the sadist being a true sadist won't as he knows that will be more painful to the masacist (sp).
I hate those kind of days, they are the days when you need a spanking most!
There are days when Will just doesn't get it, and I don't want to have to spell it out for him either. But then there are days when he does get it, and those are great days, so I cherish those.
Not much help when you really need to relieve some stress though I know.
"Honey, I need a spanking please." Is that so hard to say?
If you won't ask for what you want it is 100% your falt if you don't get what you need.
When you do tell him he should give you a good spanking and them about an hour later give you another one for not communicating. The second one should be much harder then the first.
Why is it that otherwise smart women are so stupid about asking for what they need?
I do appreciate the comments.
Paul, I don't think it was anything as deliberate as that. This just doesn't come naturally to Nick - if he was in that kind of mood, he would want to be left alone. He just doesn't tend to automatically flash on "Hey! She needs a spanking!" ;)
Anonymous, it's simple enough to say, "Well, you didn't ask - so it's all your fault." What's not simple is the complex web of needs and feelings that bog me down on a day like that. And one of those needs is the need NOT to have to ask. I don't EXPECT him to know, although it would certainly be nice. Nor do I get angry with him when he doesn't clue in. We've been at this for less than two years, and there's plenty of room for both of us to grow. What I posted was not a criticism of him, just a venting of my own frustrations with the situation.;)
Janeen, thank you. :)
Jayda and Carrie, thank you both as well, and I hope you both get what you need soon. :)
Tracy,
I've been there too. If Nick is anything like my husband, he won't stay oblivious indefinitely. Sooner or later, he'll come around and you'll get what you need. I hope it's sooner.
In the meantime, please take good care of yourself.
Thank yoy, Jo, Bonnie, and Janet.:)
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