AMA Question One

This was a comment I received on my last post. Thanks, kiwigirliegirl, and here's your answer!

hi, when did you first start living this lifestyle and how was it introduced?
hugs kiwi xx

We are currently in our 10th year of DD. I've been interested in spanking for literally as long as I can remember. I always thought I was weird for it though, so Nick was the first person I shared it with, and even then it took a boatload of courage. 

Let's just be honest, Nick thought it was a little strange. Neither one of us had a terribly extensive dating history before we got together, and he had frankly never heard of such a thing. Fortunately, he had an older, wiser roommate who was happy to tell him that he apparently had a wild one and he should keep me happy. Unfortunately, that took a little more than he was prepared for. With no real understanding myself of what I really needed/wanted, I latched on hard to his willingness to spank me for fun, and I became a little obsessed with it, so much so that he got kind of weirded out by it and stopped wanting to do it at all. That was just before we got married, and for the next few years spanking was a very sore point between us (no pun intended). It became a matter of real resentment for both of us, me because he didn't seem to want to do it, and him because he felt like I wasn't doing all the things I should as a wife so he didn't want to go out of his way to please me. Five and a half years into our marriage, something changed. I told the story in depth on one of my first few blog posts, so I'm going to copy it here. This is originally from March 14, 2005.

As I mentioned before, Nick and I are a little over a year into our DD journey. We're finally getting to the point (at least I am) where it's not foremost in our minds. 

Domestic Discipline was definitely not his idea. At the time, I didn't realize it was my idea either. I knew that spanking was a definite turn on for me, but I also knew that there was a piece of the puzzle missing. I just had no idea what it was. We've always had a good marriage. But every couple fights, and we seemed to have gotten to the point where we were doing more of it than we felt was normal for us. 

I'll admit, it was largely my fault. Nick doesn't ask a lot of me - a navigable living space, clean underwear and work clothes, basic respect. I was sadly lacking on all three. As far as the respect, it was certainly always there in my heart, but my mouth sometimes shot off a different message. There were factors at play that planted resentment in me and elicited the same response in him, and we both fell into the old "Fine! If you won't meet my needs, I won't meet yours" trap. Part of the problem was spanking itself. Nick was raised that you just don't hit a woman ever. Period. So even though he sometimes spanked me in bed, I could sense his discomfort with it, which made me pull away as well. I felt that spanking was a sexual need he just wasn't willing to meet, so why should I do the laundry if he couldn't do that one thing for me? He felt that if I wasn't going to do my part around the house (and believe me, he's always done his part), then why should he cater to my spanking fantasies? 

Last New Years Eve (Dec 31, 2003), we had a fight about some stupid thing that escalated into a lot of not so stupid things. We both yelled and cursed and said a lot of things that really needed to just finally be voiced. He yelled about how mad he got when I let the house go, and I yelled back that maybe he should just spank me for it instead of walking around fuming about it. That stopped us both for a minute. Who ever heard of a man actually spanking his wife like a naughty child? We certainly hadn't. But when the words came out of my mouth, it was like I suddenly had a clear view of a hidden need inside of myself. Nick warily agreed to give it a try, and I promised to try to not give him a reason to have to. 

I spent the next few days buried online. We'd gotten a computer not long before, after being without one for 3 years or so. I was on a mission. I needed to find out about myself, and one thing the internet taught me was that I wasn't the only spanko out there. I stumbled across http://www.vickiblue.com/ (this link now goes to a spanking fiction online book store, but at the time it went to a site with a database of DD articles. However, many of the articles I researched can now be found here.), and I found a name for what I wanted. I followed links and ran searches and printed off everything I could find about DD. 

A few days later I took Nick an inch thick binder of material. I had highlighted, crossed out, underlined, edited. I'd never put so much into a research paper. I showed him the binder, casually mentioned that there were some things he might find helpful if had a free moment with nothing more pressing to do, then fled. It would be months before I could sit in a lighted room with him and say the word spanking out loud. I'd spent too long thinking my needs were weird, and drawing the same conclusion from his discomfort with it sexually. He read bits and pieces, and tried to get beyond his suspicion that this was all sexual for me. And he decided to give me the benefit of the doubt. In the beginning there were several spankings a week, countless silly rules (made by me), and an overall feeling of contrivance. After all, he'd been married to me for 5 1/2 years. Why all of a sudden did I feel like I needed to be punished like a child? 

Eventually it got easier. I stopped feeling giddy every time I got spanked. He started noticing on his own when I needed discipline. He got better at making a lasting impression when he spanked. And we learned that sometimes a spanking without a "good reason" could reset my heart and ease my stress. Now we don't use a list with a point system like we did in the beginning. We can sit down together and have an honest, two-way discussion about what DD means to our marriage. We don't feel like we're playing a game anymore. Nick finally sees this, as I do, as something that we will keep for the rest of our marriage. 

Not long ago, after a spanking, Nick was looking at the paddle he'd used. It's actually a decorative boat oar, about 18 inches long and impossible to break. There's a fish painted on one side of it, and he commented that in 15 years we'll have probably worn all the paint off of it. I asked him if he thought we'd still be using DD 15 years from now, and he said he definitely did. I felt such safety in those words. DD has made us both better. I can see that Nick is more confident, and truthfully, so am I. I don't feel anymore like he'll get fed up enough to walk away from me. And he doesn't get fed up so much anymore. The house is usually pretty clean, we very rarely fight anymore, and sometimes I get spanked in a very good way. It has been such a journey to get to this point, where DD no longer feels like "something we do", but rather just feels like who we are. 

It's a good feeling.

By the way, that fish paddle I mentioned up there that was impossible to break? He eventually broke it during a spanking, although it did give us many years of faithful service. :)

Any Questions?

So I hear it's "Ask Me Anything March". I've been blogging for almost 8 years now, so I can't imagine there's too much I haven't covered, but if you've got any questions, fire away! I'll do my best to answer. :)

100 Random Facts

I've done a post like a couple of times before, but I had fun with it, so I thought I'd do it again, and see if I can come up with 100 all new ones. I'm not all that interesting myself, so they won't all be about me. :)

1. Jack is addicted to Yo Gabba Gabba.

2. I can't decide if I really like the show or am totally creeped out by it.

3. I think 2 of the characters look like sex toys.

4. And that DJ Lance Rock guy looks like a French tickler.

5. My Macbook came about a week and a half ago and I loooove it.
6. My mom and dad watched Jack and Daisy for me Thursday while Morgan was at school.
7. Because of this, I was able to finish cleaning Jack and Daisy's room.
8. This was a huge relief for me, because if I hadn't finished it by today I was going to get a serious spanking.
9. I love to read, but I hadn't been to the library since 2001.
10. We went and took the kids for their first time yesterday.
11. Nick found out why I hadn't been in so long when he had to pay my outstanding late fees (from 12 years ago!)
12. He was less than happy about it.
13. He's planning to spank me for it, but we've not had kid free time to deal with it as of yet.
14. In the meme I did like this last April I mentioned a house we'd love to be able to someday buy. The owner's son called Nick yesterday and told him it looks like his mom has decided to put it on the market.
15. There are a number of obstacles standing in the way of us buying it.
16. First we would have to sell our house.
17. The house we want is also worth more than ours, so our house payment would increase.
18. Despite all this, I know that if this is the house God has for us, He will make a way.
19. We would really appreciate your prayers that His will be done in this situation, and that we are faithful in praising Him even if His plan doesn't include this house for us.
20. When I got the Macbook from Kate, there were a bunch of pictures on there they didn't realize were still on there, and when I installed Picasa, it pulled them all up.
21. None of them were questionable, but they did include some scans of paperwork from when they bought their house, including the details of Will's monthly income.
22. The figures left me a little lightheaded.
23. I don't feel so bad about the amount of money they spend on us for Christmas anymore!
24. My best friend Ann, who was diagnosed with Friedreich's Ataxia 6 years ago, had to quit her job and apply for disability benefits a little over a week ago. Her doctor also ordered her a wheelchair as her cane is no longer sufficient.
25. I'm heartbroken that it's already reached this point for her, but grateful that she has a supportive husband and will be able to spend this time home with her kids.
26. I'm also, selfishly, glad that she will have time free for us to visit each other.
27. She lives about an hour away, and I've only seen her a couple of times since Jack was born, so I'm really excited that she plans on coming to visit me this week. (Before anyone thinks I'm too awful, I offered to go to her house, but she wanted to come here).
28. I'm planning on taking Jack and Daisy up to church camp with Nick and Morgan this summer and staying all week.
29. When Ann called me a couple of weeks ago to tell me she was quitting her job, I shared this plan with her.
30. She told me she was possibly planning to come and stay with me all week.
31. I might have screamed like a preteen girl at a One Direction concert at this news.
32. I get excited every time I think about it, and it's going to take some serious getting over for me if it doesn't happen.
33. Ann and I practically lived at each other's houses in our late teens, and we were each other's maid/matron of honor.
34. I've had a number of close girlfriends over the years, but none like her.
35. Daisy has pretty much mastered potty training now.
36. As she turned 3 five months ago, it seemed like we were never going to get there.
37. The one (very important) thing she still needs to conquer is using a regular toilet.
38. Right now she's convinced she'll fall in, even with a child size seat attached, so we're kind of dependent on the "small potty" right now.
39. Jack slept in his own bed all night last night!
40. Unfortunately he took a long Sunday afternoon (into evening) nap with me, so there was no putting him down at his regular bedtime tonight.
41. Daisy was super excited to go to the "lye-berry", especially when she saw that they had a giant stuffed bear in the children's section and two Llama Llama books she'd never seen.
42. Jack was more interested in exploring.

43. At 14 months, he weighs 18 pounds and is officially too tall for 6 month sleepers.
44. I just got him these shoes for Easter at Target, and the cuteness is killing me!

45. Daisy has this toy monkey she named "Mr. Bananners", and I challenge anyone to hear her say his name without smiling.
46. I have a craft show coming up in less than two weeks.
47. I'm hoping that my in-laws will take the two littles for the day again so I can work on adding to my inventory.
48. I've been making lots of wire wrapped glass pearl rings and ribbon hair bows, as well as rings, headbands, brooches, necklaces, and bracelets using leather pieces.
49. If we were to get that house, I would have an actual craft room.
50. I don't let myself think about that too much, because I don't want to get too attached to the idea in case it never happens.
51. I worry a little about how we would transport our giant chest full of paddles, straps, canes, etc. if we move. Last time we moved was 12 years ago, and our collection was considerably smaller.
52. We have a Pack N Play we used with Daisy that we put on Craigslist the other day. It's been packed away in our garage for about a year. It was clean when I put it away, so when a lady wanted to buy it, I encouraged her to open it up and inspect it.
53. I was horrified and embarrassed to find that there had apparently been something spilled on the garage floor that had soaked through the storage bag and badly stained the webbing on the sides.
54. The lady (understandably) passed on it.
55. I'm going to try to clean off whatever is on it with bleach, but that's the last time I assume anything has stayed clean while in storage!
56. A few days ago when I was cleaning Jack and Daisy's room I came across an audio book I got in the free bin at my favorite used bookstore. I nearly tossed it because I've had it for years and I'm never in the car long enough at one time to make listening to it enjoyable.
57. Nick happened to pick it up and pop the first CD in one morning on his way to work.
58. He'd never tried audio books before, but now he's on his 3rd one, and he just checked 4 more out at the library.
59. He said it's made his commute (about 45 minutes there and about an hour back) much better.
60. When my Macbook came the other day, the box also included not only Jack's car seat, but also Daisy's birthday present, which included 3 outfits, a headband, and a swimsuit (her birthday's not till October, but Kate said she already had it, so she just sent it), a toy truck for Jack, and a couple of life jackets that had been at their lake house before they sold it.
61. I'm really grateful they shipped all of that to us, because the box probably weighed 60 pounds.
62. I was super excited to find out that I can check out books from the library using my Kindle.
63. Morgan is currently grounded for her grades.
64. She's really smart, but she's pretty lazy about school.
65. She gets that from her dad. ;)
66. To be fair, she gets her tendency toward a messy room from me.
67. Her dad grew up to be one of the hardest working people I know, so I'm holding out hope for her.
68. I talked to Kate the other day, and she's going through the exact same thing with Kit, which makes me feel a little better.
69. A guy at Nick's job just quit, which means one less person to split the team's earnings with.
70. Nick hated to see the guy go, but he was happy to have what was in effect, a pay raise. We really hope they don't hire anyone to replace him.
71. Randomly enough, Nick's boss hired a masseuse to come in to work and give everyone a 15 minute massage. He had his a couple of weeks ago.
72. I follow a lot of craft bloggers.
73. Recently, a bunch of them started truncating their posts due to site scrapers (people who steal blog content to take advantage of your search engine hits). This means that you only get the first few sentences in your RSS reader, and you have to go to the actual blog to read the rest of the post.
74. I understand where they're coming from (I've been a victim myself in the past), but I really, really hate it.
75. I have several hundred blogs in my RSS reader, and I don't have the time or the desire to click through on every single post, so I've unfollowed most of the blogs that do this.
76. I may have had to add word verification back on, but I promise to continue to give you full access to each post via RSS.
77. I can NOT seem to get in bed on time.
78. Every other Friday Nick, Jack, Daisy, and I attend our church's Senior Saints meeting. This is a ministry geared toward the senior crowd, but about 20% of the people there are under 40. There's a message followed by a meal, and we always enjoy both.
79. Three years ago I could not have imagined my husband volunteering to attend a non-Sunday church service on his day off.
80. For that matter, I could not have imagined me doing it either.
81. God has grown Nick's heart in such an amazing way in the last few years, and I'm overwhelmingly blessed by him as my husband every day.
82. Nick regularly runs the sound booth at church, drives the church van, and helps with youth events. He's also the first to jump up and help clean up after a meal in the life center.
83. I try to make it a point to tell him how much I appreciate all he does, but I wanted to say it here too.
84. After my post the other day mentioning his broken closet door, Nick went to the hardware store and bought a new latch. He fixed it yesterday.
85. This morning we got to church and realized we had forgotten to bring a bottle for Jack. I ran to Target to pick him one up along with some milk and got distracted by the huge wall of hilarious greeting cards they now carry. I couldn't tarry too long, but I spotted quite a few lightly kinky ones, so I bet if you had the time you could find a few spanky ones in there.
86. Two years ago I bought Nick a spanking themed Valentine's card, but I lost my nerve and never gave it to him. It's still in a drawer upstairs. Maybe next year.
87. This is the first year we've watched The Biggest Loser, and we're really into it.
88. I've not, however, watched any of Downton Abbey, although I feel like I should have.
89. I would like for you guys to pray for something (else) for me. We tithe on a regular basis, but it seems like we rarely have anything extra to give to others. My prayer is that God will provide us both means and opportunity, as well as the wisdom and the right heart to help someone in the coming weeks. It may be something small, but it sure would do my heart good!
90. I'm going to give myself a couple of weeks, till I'm past my craft show before I start, but my tentative plan is to cut out tea/sodas on weekdays. I did that just before I got pregnant with Daisy and lost 10 pound in a couple of months without putting any real effort into it.
91. Daisy has a fabulous imagination, and I love watching her play. She has an imaginary friend named "Pretend Layla Friend". A few weeks ago she used her iPad to take a picture of a wall at church. She showed me the shot later and told me it was a picture she had taken of Pretend Layla Friend. The next shot in the gallery was Daisy standing against the same wall with her arm draped convincingly around thin air. This one was a picture of her with Pretend Layla Friend. :)
92. Morgan got her contacts last week, and she's getting better every day at putting them in and taking them out.
93. This is a good thing, because she missed the bus twice last week because it took her so long to get them in.
94. Morgan has started eating healthier and going on walks to get in better shape.
95. This leaves me as the lone couch potato, but I want to change that. As soon as it warms up just a little, I want to start going on walks again.
96. When I was 19 I used to walk 7 miles a day up and down hills.
97. I lost almost 70 pounds doing this.
98. 70 pounds was too much to lose, but at some point I lost my perspective.
99. Looking back on pictures of me then, I think I looked ill. After we got married I gained about 20 pounds and looked much better.
100. I'd like to get back to what I weighed in the first year of our marriage.

Word verification again (Sorry!)

Sorry guys, but I've had to put the word verification back on. I hate it too, but the spam has gotten out of hand. Just to give you an example, I've gotten 38 spam comments in the last 3 days, and an alarming number of those got through Blogger's filter and posted to the blog (I've since removed them). Every one of them had a link included, and while I'm sure you guys are smart enough not to click on them, I refuse to let them sit here on my blog. I hope it doesn't discourage anyone too much from commenting, because I love to hear from you, but I do understand if it does.

100 Questions Nobody Ever Asks

Well, the plan was for me to stay up late and work on Jack and Daisy's room (which has to be done by next Sunday or there's going to be some serious repercussions), but Jack is playing hard to get with the sandman, so I thought I would do this meme I found on SNP's blog. But I saw that it was actually longer, and I think memes are kind of fun, so I tracked down the whole list. Here goes:

1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

      Closed, although Nick's (we each have one) has one door that refuses to stay shut unless there's a door stop in front of it. It's one of those random things that you need to fix around the house but never seem to remember when you're at the hardware store.

2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?

It's a pretty rare thing for us to stay at a hotel, but if we do, pretty much always. I figure that's part of what you're paying for with the room rate. I don't raid the maid's cart or anything though -  I just take those that are put out for us. 

3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Well, the fitted sheet is tucked of course, but the top sheet is not. One a side note, I do make the bed nearly every day. I never bothered with it when we first got married, but I started doing it just as an act of respect and caring some time after we started DD. Now I do it even when Nick has to be away overnight just because I love how it feels to slide into a made up bed.

4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
 No, but Nick took a couple in high school. In fact, they're hanging in our garage (not sure what else to do with them - it's not like you can just drop them off at the county dump).

5:Do you like to use post-it notes?

  Not as much as I used to. When I worked in a call center I used them like crazy, and I was forever picking up cute ones at Target. I even made quite a bit of origami out of them, but I don't really have much need for them now. We do keep some around the house though, and I will occasionally leave one on the bathroom mirror or inside the front door for Nick to see before he leaves in the morning.

6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?

Sometimes. I'm not a hard core couponer by any means, but I do try to use them when I can. And I never, EVER go to the Michael's, Joann's, or Hobby Lobby without one.

7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
 I'd have to go with bees. I'm not allergic to bees, but I am a super lame runner, and I can't see me surviving a bear attack.

8:Do you have freckles?

Not really. My arms are a little freckled. Morgan on the other hand has quite a few and she hates them (although I think they're adorable).

9:Do you always smile for pictures?
I generally try to avoid being in pictures, but I smile for them if I can't dodge them.

10:What is your biggest pet peeve?
Super slow drivers. And people who talk on their cell phones in a public restroom. And people who take the bathroom stall right beside me when the rest of the row is free. Basically don't invade my space in the ladies room.

11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
I do, probably when I don't even realize I'm doing it. I'm a little OCD.

12:Have you ever peed in the woods?
A time or two when camping, but I hate it and will do almost anything to avoid it.

13:What about pooped in the woods?
Um, no.

14:Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
Sometimes to make Jack or Daisy laugh. Daisy has just about gotten potty training down in the last week, and I've done quite a few happy dances for her. :)

15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?
No

16:How many people have you slept with this week?

This week two, counting Jack. It's usually three though, because Daisy comes and crawls in bed with me and Jack after Nick and Morgan have left for work and school.

17:What size is your bed?

King, and I love it!

18:What is your Song of the week?
None really, although I can't get the theme song to Psych out of my head.

19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
I think so, but Nick rarely agrees.

20:Do you still watch cartoons?
As a mom of three kids, all the dang time!

21:Whats your least favorite movie?
Hmm, Bringing Out the Dead, was pretty awful. And Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
Wouldn't you like to know!

23:What do you drink with dinner?
Almost always sweet tea, although sometimes milk, and if we happen to go out, usually Coke.

24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
McDonald's Hot Mustard or Sweet and Sour Sauce, or if I'm at Chik-Fil-A (which I prefer), Polynesian Sauce.

25:What is your favorite food?
Well, my dream birthday menu would be Chik-Fil-A chicken minis for breakfast, Jet's 8 Corner Pepperoni Pizza with Turbo Crust for lunch, and The Chop House's Prime Rib Sandwich with Spinach Maria and blackberry cobbler for dessert for dinner. And maybe a slice of Godiva chocolate cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory thrown in there somewhere.

26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
The Notebook, The Hunger Games, Office Space, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

27:Last person you kissed/kissed you?
Jack

28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Nope

29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
Nope

30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
I wrote an absence excuse for Morgan to take to school a couple of weeks ago, but that probably doesn't count. I used to write Nick letters a few years ago when it was harder for me to have a face to face conversation about DD, but it's been a while since I've done that. The last letter I wrote and mailed was probably 10 years ago to my friend Ann.

31:Can you change the oil on a car?
Nope, but I was smart enough to marry a mechanic!

32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
A few times.

33:Ever ran out of gas?
A time or two.

34:Favorite kind of sandwich?
Prime rib, or less expensively ham and Swiss on light bread with mustard and a little honey.

35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Chik-Fil-A chicken minis.

36:What is your usual bedtime?
It's supposed to be no later than 2, and I'm allowed to read or play on my Kindle for a little while longer. But sometimes it depends on when I can get Jack to go down.

37:Are you lazy?
I'm afraid so, although I try hard to not give in to it.

38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
One year a witch and one year Lucy from the Peanuts (with one of those cheesy plastic masks held on by a piece of elastic). Other than that, I don't think I got to dress up much because my parents weren't big on Halloween.

39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?
The Snake - I had to look it up.

40:How many languages can you speak?
English. That is all, unless you count my fluency in toddler and Dora the Explorer.

41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
About 6, although I seriously never have time to read any of them. I got a bunch free through Recyclebank, but I end up giving them mostly to my mother-in-law for her beauty shop waiting area.

42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
That's a tough one! I'd have to go with Legos though.

43:Are you stubborn?
Little bit.

44:Who is better…Leno or Letterman?
Conan O'Brien and Craig Ferguson. Not a huge fan of Leno or Letterman.

45:Ever watch soap operas?
Nope

46:Are you afraid of heights?
Kind of. I like being up really high but am terrified at the same time.

47:Do you sing in the car?
When I put music on yes!

48:Do you sing in the shower?
Rarely, although I used to. Not sure why I stopped.

49:Do you dance in the car?
Not often but sometimes

50:Ever used a gun?
Yes

51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
At Nick's work Christmas party in December.

52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Yes, but I not so secretly love them. Glee is our Thursday night guilty pleasure.

53:Is Christmas stressful?
Terribly so, which I hate. I spend so much time trying to make everything so that we can afford gifts for everyone that it just wears me out. I need to find a better balance, because it's truly my favorite holiday.

54:Ever eat a pierogi?
Yes

55:Favorite type of fruit pie?
Blackberry.

56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Mostly just a stay at home mom. Oh look!

57:Do you believe in ghosts?
No, but I believe in demons and angels.

58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yes

59:Take a vitamin daily?
No, but I need to.

60:Wear slippers?
No, but I wear flip flops pretty much all the time at home.

61:Wear a bath robe?
No

62:What do you wear to bed?
Usually a t-shirt and panties, sometimes just panties.

63:First concert?
Metallica

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Wal-Mart for necessities, Target just for me.

65:Nike or Adidas?
Nike

66:Cheetos Or Fritos?
Cheetos

67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Sunflower seeds

68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
Can’t say I have

69:Ever take dance lessons?
No

70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Nope, I plan on keeping the spouse I've got!

71:Can you curl your tongue?
Yes

72:Ever won a spelling bee?
Yes

73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yes

74:Own any record albums?
I have a couple in my craft closet, but they're for projects.

75:Own a record player?
No, but we used to.

76:Regularly burn incense?
No but I used to.

77:Ever been in love?
Yep

78:Who would you like to see in concert?
Pink, My Chemical Romance, The Avett Brothers

79:What was the last concert you saw?
Sick Puppies I think.

80:Hot tea or cold tea?
Ice tea

81:Tea or coffee?
Tea

82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?
Snickerdoodles

83:Can you swim well?
Enough to keep from drowning, but I wouldn't say I'm a strong swimmer.

84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yes

85:Are you patient?
Not very, unless it's with little kids.

86:DJ or band, at a wedding?
DJ

87:Ever won a contest?
Yes, a few.

88:Ever have plastic surgery?
No

89:Which are better black or green olives?
Black, but I like them both.

90:Can you knit or crochet?
I can knit on a round loom. I used to be able to crochet a little.

91:Best room for a fireplace?
Living room

92:Do you want to get married?
I used to, so I did!

93:If married, how long have you been married?
Almost 15 years.

94:Who was your HS crush?
A bunch of guys who weren't worth it.

95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
Nope. You can imagine what that would get me.

96:Do you have kids?
Yes

97:Do you want kids?
I sure do, and it's a good thing too!

98:Whats your favorite color?
Pink

99:Do you miss anyone right now?
My friend Ann

100: Something that happened in the Middle School:
I can't remember back that far!

Blessings (and a spanking)

Hello, everyone. Did everyone have a nice Valentine's Day? Ours was low key but nice. Our cable remote had been dying on us for a while (not a battery issue), and Nick had been wanting me to pick up a new one. So I ran out and got one and had it waiting for him with a big bow on it. Other than that we just let the TV and the Kindle be our Valentine's gifts (not that we normally go anywhere near that big). 

Today was full of blessings. Morgan had the day off from school (President's Day), so it was nice to have her home. Nick had to work, but they had a productive day, which was good. I was working on laundry when I noticed that our washing machine had quit too early. I opened it up and saw that it wasn't draining. I kind of freaked out a little, because isn't that always the way - you buy a new TV and something like your washing machine tears up? I got online and tried to research the problem, but it quickly became clear that any solution was beyond my skill level. I called my dad, who has wrestled with his share of washing machines over the years. He came down to give it a look and was fortunately able to fix it with what we had on hand.

Some really exciting news came from Nick. Kate texted him today to let him know she had shipped us a car seat for Jack along with my Christmas gift. About six months ago when Kate came in for Kelly's baby shower she told me that she was going to give us the car seat she had brought with her to use for Maddox while they were in. Apparently it was an extra, and I was really excited about it. Not only would that eliminate an upcoming expense for us (buying a new one for when he outgrows his infant one), but it was a super nice one too, a Britax, which is about $200 out of our price range. Unfortunately it didn't work out for us to follow her to the airport when they left, so she had to take it back with her. Nothing else was ever said about it, so I assumed we would be buying our own.

But the Christmas gift news is what has me really excited. Right after Christmas Kate called Nick and told him that they had been planning to buy me a new laptop. But when Will went to order it (off Home Shopping Network I think), they refused to ship it anywhere other than his address, so he just cancelled the order entirely. She told Nick that they had a practically new Macbook that they ended up not using once they bought it (can you imagine being able to spend that kind of money for something you don't need and probably won't use?), and that they might send me that instead. 

But it's been nearly two months since Christmas now, and I had honestly given up hope of getting anything. I have to admit, I got pretty excited about the idea of a replacement for my poor, limping along laptop, so it was pretty disappointing to watch the weeks go by with no mention of it. But I just assumed that they had decided that with Nick's bike (which was an impulse buy for Will) they had spent enough on our family for Christmas. And they really, really had, and it was thrilling for me to see Nick get such an awesome Christmas for once. But....I confess to being a little hurt, mainly because very nearly everything we gave them was handmade by me. I put a lot of love and work into their (and everyone else's) Christmas, and it wasn't to get anything back, but I did feel a little...forgotten.

Anyway, they're sending the Macbook, my very first one, and I'm so excited!

I got punished last night for the laundry issue I mentioned the other day as well as the generally chaotic state of the house right now. With the girls asleep and Jack entrenched with a bottle of milk and Yo Gabba Gabba larger than life on the new TV, he took me upstairs to deal with me. He rummaged around in the chest at the foot of our bed and finally chose the Patty Paddle from Cane-iac. He then gave me a very stern talking to for the better part of an hour, followed by a spanking that was much more merciful than I deserved. I was teary before the first swat landed, which I think is probably why he let me keep my jeans and panties up and only gave me 20 licks. 

Today I was better focused, and I got more than usual done, even with the time out to deal with the washing machine. Anyway, Jack's almost asleep, so I'll say goodnight.

Happy Valentine's Day!

So how has everyone been? Things have been going well here. We got our income tax return in, and I'm happy to report that we are all caught up on our bills! We even had enough left over to get a new TV, something that Nick was fairly desperate for. Three years ago for Christmas my parents bought us a TV. It wasn't a very big one as far as they go, but it was our first flat screen, and we were beyond thrilled with it. I wouldn't say we're glued to the television by any means, but we watch our fair share, and Nick and I have a few shows that we really enjoy together. And he's not so secretly addicted to cheesy 80's/90's movies. On Sunday afternoons after church I take a nap and he stretches out on the couch and finds something featuring Steven Seagal or an unlikely plan for a bank heist. So a few weeks ago when our TV suddenly went on the fritz, Nick was pretty devastated. The bottom half started out flickering, then quickly  got worse. Soon it was almost impossible to watch (although it didn't seem to diminish Jack's enjoyment of Yo Gabba Gabba lol). 

On Friday Daisy, Jack, and I went and had lunch with Nick, then we all went to pick out the TV. He went back the next day to buy it. It's quite a bit bigger than our last one, and he's been positively giddy with it. So much so that when we had to go back to Best Buy Sunday to get a wall mount, he bought me a Kindle Fire HD! I'm so in love with it, and I've been having so much fun finding free books to download on Amazon!

Monday I took Morgan to the eye doctor. She's worn glasses since she was eight, and she's been pestering us for contacts the whole time. Nick and I have always put her off because we felt she was too young and immature for them. But we recently found out that she needs braces (another expense we'll be trusting God for!), and she was devastated by the idea of being the girl with glasses AND braces. She'll be twelve in a couple of months (!), and she really has been responsible with her glasses for the last year, so we decided to see if her doctor thought it was time. He was on board with it, presuming she follows his directions religiously, and we go next week to pick them up. She's thrilled and can't wait. Sigh...I suppose letting her shave her legs is next.

My in-laws watched Daisy and Jack all day for me about a week and a half ago while Morgan was in school, and I got their room almost done. Unfortunately all three kids and myself got sick the next day, so I still have some to get done on it. It's crazy how fast the house gets out of shape when I'm down for a few days. I'm not going to pretend that it's ever immaculate, but I'm definitely playing catch up right now. In fact, Nick has promised a punishment over a pile of clean laundry he's asked me to take care of for three days. I've gotten most of it done tonight, but it seems to be a case of too little, too late.

Anyway, Jack's finally gone to sleep, so I'm going to wrap things up. I've got a couple of product reviews coming up next. Good night, all!

Tax time

So it's been a day or two since I posted. Things are good here. God has been blessing us and providing as always. I'm not going to lie - money has been CRAZY tight. Winter in general is always a little pinched just because work slows down at my husband's commission based job. And with Christmas and New Year's Day his check(s) for those weeks always take a hit because they get a flat amount for the day that is always smaller than they would have made on a normal day. 

Winter 2011-12 had some unexpected blessings. In late 2011 Nick and I shot a wedding together, which was $1200. Also in late 2011 Nick totaled his car, which was paid off, and we got an unexpectedly large check from the insurance for it. And when I was in the hospital, one of my very favorite blogger friends sent us a Christmas card with some surprise cash inside, right when we needed it (she was one of my very favorite bloggers even before that ;)). Then, when we filed our income taxes for 2011, we got back a nice tax refund. And just a few weeks after that we unexpectedly got some extra money back from our home insurance on our roof replacement.

But Winter 2012-13 has been harder than most, and certainly harder than last winter. To start with, his pay for the year was almost $5,000 less in 2012 than in 2011, just due to the available work. Most of that shortage was the last quarter of 2012. This was also the first year since we went to one income that Kate and Will didn't send us a nice big check for Christmas. Not, of course, that they owed it to us or anything, but let's be real, it always really helped, and we definitely felt the lack of it this year. And of course we've had an extra person to feed, clothe, and diaper this year.

All of these things combined to take us to the point where we've not just been struggling to keep everything less than 30 days past due, but occasionally writing a check we couldn't cover, because the bill had to be paid and letting the bank's overdraft protection kick in, something we HATE doing. That said, we've  certainly not gone hungry, and many times, just when we didn't know what to do, God has sent just what we needed, whether it was a sudden request for Nick to work on someone's car, or a sale in my Etsy shop, or a photography client buying a larger CD than they originally planned to, or my mom slipping me $20 for gas at church, or my parents showing up with a pack of toilet paper, a gallon of milk, and a bag of oranges for my fruit-loving girls. Just this Sunday we had a Praise Night at church followed by a chili dinner, and all of the leftover chili was sent home with us. We ate it for 3 days, and I still had a gallon of it left to stick in the freezer today. And in the last 2 weeks we've sold 4 things we had listed on Craigslist, one of which we'd listed several times in the last couple of years with no interest. 

I had just come to the conclusion that while last year God was teaching us all about how He could move in BIG ways, this year's lesson was all about trusting Him on the thin edge of no other options, and we wouldn't be getting any "big" blessings. Then I filed our income tax tonight. Income tax time has always been the time when we caught up on anything we were running behind on, as well as took care of things like new glasses, dental work, replacing worn out shoes, etc. And if we had anything left, we could buy something big, like my camera, or our living room furniture.

This year though we were honestly just hoping that we would get back enough to pay my parents back what we owe them, and we were kind of afraid we might actually have pay something. See, we've always set our paychecks up so that we didn't claim any dependents all year so that we got more back at tax time. One year I messed up and claimed 3 people (me, Nick, and Morgan), and we ended up having to pay about $100 that year when we filed. So since then we've always tried to not take the deductions throughout the year.

When Jack was born on January 2 we joked that if he could have just shown up a couple of days sooner we could have gotten a nicer tax return, although truthfully we were glad for him to have the extra couple of days inside. But we were almost giddy thinking of what an awesome tax return we would have with 3 kids this year. Much to our dismay though, we quickly found that we could no longer pay our bills on the amount Nick was bringing home after taxes, so with a sense of mourning for our much anticipated tax return, he reluctantly adjusted his withholding to reflect all of our dependents. 

Tonight Nick brought home the last document we needed to file, and I took a deep breath and decided to get it over with. Much to our amazement and relief, we'll be getting back almost as much as we got last year! I just want to thank God for the little blessings AND the BIG ones!

Spam and spankings

Okay, first of all, about the word verification. I've gone back and forth with it over the years. It's no question that it's a huge pain in the butt. I honestly hate it as much as you do. But when it's not on there there are floods of spam comments. FLOODS. Now they don't generally show up on here because Blogger's spam filter is pretty good, but they do overrun my email inbox. 

All that said, I don't want to discourage comments, so for now at least I'm going to try comment moderation on some posts instead. Hopefully it will discourage all but the first comment per spammer per day.

Anyway, enough about that. I finally got that spanking Thursday night. The stars aligned, and the kids were all three asleep at a decent hour. Nick took me upstairs, taking his belt off as we went. I really had to pee, so he let me go to the bathroom. When I came out he was lying on the bed, so I crawled up beside him. He held me a little while, and talked to me about why he feels that it's important that I be in bed at a decent hour. He told me that he understands that I need some time alone after all the kids are in bed, and that he wants me to have that. But as a family we need to be able to function on somewhat of a cohesive schedule, and if we can get everybody on the right schedule, then that free time is going to be there for me. And he's right, of course, and I do appreciate him being the voice of reason when I just want to stay up all night and play on Pinterest.

He really did cut me a break on the spanking, mostly because it had taken a few days for us to get to it and I had really been trying to get to bed on time for the least few days. He spanked hard, but I only got about 25 licks, and he let me keep my jeans on. After it was over he held me again for a while, and we talked about some of the things we'd like to see happen this year as far as schedule and organization. 

I'm glad to have it behind me, but I do want to say how much I appreciate him following through with me. He's really been there for me lately with DD, and it just makes me feel so very loved.

Followers

I had a comment earlier from an early blog reader who had lost my blog and just re-found it asking why there was no easy way to follow my blog. At one time I did have the followers widget up, but I took it down when I started to take the blog dormant a few months ago and never put it back up. Well, I started to put it back up tonight, but I ran into something that I need some reader advice on. 

Obviously, because this is a DD blog, a good portion of my followers are going to be interested in spanking. Because of that, maybe half of them have a profile picture featuring a bare bottom. Now if you are one of those people, that's totally your prerogative, and I'm not judging you at all. But the thing is, I make it a point not to feature any nudity on this blog, even on the sidebar. That was not always the case (although I always tried to not have anything gratuitous), but several years ago God really got hold of me about the content I put out there, and I changed some of the things I posted and featured. Beyond that, my brother (and pastor!) has the link to this blog, and I wouldn't want him popping in to see anyone's naked butt.

So here's my dilemma - I'm glad to have followers, but I need to not have everyone's profile picture appear on my sidebar. I've done some quick research to try to figure out how to create a text only Follow Me link, but so far I've not found a way. For now I'm just going to do without the widget, and I know that at the very least you can add me as a subscription in your Google Reader or (should be) any other reader you use with just the blog URL. But if anyone can come up with the correct HTML for me to add a text only Follow Me link, that would be great. Thanks!

Oh, and I got that spanking, but it's bedtime, so I'll tell you about it later!

Just checking in...

Hey, guys. Not a whole lot going on here - just checking in. We're getting settled into the new year. Morgan went back to school today. It was a busy Christmas break; her best friend next door spent the night 4 or 5 times, and she spent the night over there once. Also, her best friend from her old school spent the night here on Friday, and she and Daisy spent the night with my parents one night last week. 

Jack's first birthday was last Wednesday. I really wanted to do a party for him, like I did for Morgan's and Daisy's first birthdays, but it just wasn't in the budget this year. But my mom got him a cake and bought some ice cream, and we had that after church that night, so that was nice.

It's my intention to establish some better eating/exercising habits this year. I'd love to join a gym; Nick belongs to one and goes almost every day on his lunch break. Unfortunately we've not had the money to add me as of yet. 

I'm also trying (without great success) to get myself in bed earlier. In fact, I'm supposed to be spanked for ignoring my curfew a couple of nights last week, although it hasn't happened yet. I thought he was actually going to let it slide, but he says he still plans to do it. He got a new belt for Christmas, and I think he plans to take the opportunity to break it in. Jack has gotten his days and nights flipped, so that's made it difficult to find time alone.

I had a photo shoot yesterday, which helped tremendously money-wise. It wasn't a huge payout for the sitting fee, but it did get us diapers and gas, which were our two most urgent needs.

Anyway, I'm off to work on the house - Happy New Year!

An Anniversary...

Today marks the nine year anniversary of the day Nick agreed to try domestic discipline in our marriage. It was 15 years ago that he first spanked me for fun. I know it's not always been a smooth ride, but I really appreciate you sticking with me, Babe. Love you!