Vacation

Sorry for the lack of spanking content the last few days. I've been crazy busy at work (trying to squeeze in an extra two shifts this week). Last Sunday I spent working, and Nick gave me a pass on a spanking. I really probably should have ended up with one - the laundry was atrocious - but it's been hard to fit it in, and he was very generous. I have the understanding that said generosity does not extend to this week.

After today, I will be on vacation until the 4th, which is why the big push for overtime. I do get paid vacations, but Nick does not yet at his job, so I'm trying to make sure there's a little extra money coming so he can take a few days off with me. He works six days a week as it is, so it's really not an option for him to work any extra. If they're open, he's there.

Sunday through Thursday we will be at his grandparents' cabin on the lake. It's where we spent our honeymoon, and we go back every year around this time. We may try to go camping tomorrow, depending on when he get's off work.

Last year when we went camping, I got my very-first-since-we'd-started-DD erotic spanking. I wrote it up on one of my MSN groups, and I'll try to dig it up, or perhaps rewrite it as a Travis and Nicole story.

In all seriousness though, I'm wondering if we wants me to pack a paddle with the things we'll be taking. And if so, which one? Sigh...this is the problem you run into with approximately 20 different paddles floating around. But surely I'll be angel perfect on vacation and there'll be no need!

And another thing...

You Know You're Addicted to Ebay When...

Every time you go to the grocery store, you offer the cashier one cent more for each item in the cart of the person in front of you. To cut costs, FedEx and UPS are considering relocating their operations centers to your house. Sitting on the floor of your empty apartment, you stare at your fingers and wonder whether they'll sell better individually or as a matched set. Your spouse is loving and caring but you decided to file for divorce because you need the storage space. You're the reason they adopted the "No selling your children's vital organs" policy. ou find yourself searching eBay auctions for milk, eggs and bread. When your wife agrees to have sex with you, you become suspicious and ask how many other bidders there were. Just ask your kids, eRay and eFaye. After a particularly passionate night, you lean over and whisper in your spouse’s ear, "Excellent service, great communication! Would recommend again! AAAA++++" You set your alarm clock for 3 am so you can log on to protect your bid. You've called someone a naughty name for outbidding you at the last second. You've questioned your sanity because of the price you've bid... more than once. You've changed all your clocks to "eBay official time (PDT)." You've bid on something even though the picture doesn't show up correctly. You've purposely run up the bid on something similar for which you paid more. You've rolled your eyes at the word "antique" or "vintage" used on something made in the past decade. You've gritted your teeth each time you've clicked on a description that uses the word "L@@K." You've turned up the volume on your email alert so you'll never miss an Outbid Notice. You've made "My eBay" your default home page. You've emailed a seller to correct their description with accurate dates or details. You've come to rely on "convenience cash" from PayPal and wish you could pay all your bills like that. You've earned a "Shooting Star" Feedback Profile for more than 10,000 purchases! You won't go to estate auctions because they don't take PayPal. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Ebay.

Get Your Own Addicted Meme Here



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Blogthings

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

A silly little test - but I loved this whole CD!

This Love by Maroon 5

"I was so high I did not recognize The fire burning in her eyes The chaos that controlled my mind" You were so great in 2004 that you make everyone a little bit sick!

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

Milo Manara

Milo Manara

Milo Manara

Milo Manara

More Links...

I've added a couple of new links! I was very happy to see our very own Janet blogging. You can visit her very cool concept blog at SpankedFish. Also, Lafessee was here, then it was gone, then it was back, and now it's gone again. But you can keep up with Paul at This & That.

Congratulations!

A big congratulations to Joannie and her family on their new arrival!

New Link!

I've added a great new blog on the right. Check out Domestic Discipline Dreams!

Off to work I go...

I have to work today. Grrrr...so I won't have much blogging time. But here's a beautiful piece from Italian Spanking Art.

The Towels

Here's my first attempt at public story telling, folks. Please be kind and maybe even enjoy. WEG. For the record, this is fiction. Many of the little details are true to life, but the story as a whole is made up.

Oh, and uh, click on the Read More link.

The Towels
By AngelBrat

"Hey, Sugar!" Nicole said when Travis answered his phone. Travis smiled when he heard his wife's voice. She didn't know it yet, but he'd planned a very special evening, just for the two of them. He'd arranged for Morgan, their four year old daughter, to spend a rare night with Grandma. He was very much looking forward to the night alone with his wife.

"Hey, Babe. What's up?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I'll be a few minutes late. I'm going to run by Wal-Mart to get those towels I showed you. I'd like to get the soap dish too. Do you need anything?"

Travis frowned. Nicole had been talking about those towels for nearly a week now. They were on clearance, and he'd promised her she could get them when they got paid. The problem was that they were at the Wal-Mart across town, an area that wasn't exactly safe at night, especially for a woman alone.

"Oh no you don't. You know you're not to be in that part of town at night without me. It's not safe. Just wait and we'll go tomorrow."

"But Honey! It won't take but a minute. I'll be careful, and I've got my cell phone!"

"Nicole, I said we'll go tomorrow."

"But I need to get shampoo and dog food too. I didn't have anything to feed the poor puppy today."

"Fine, you can stop at the Wal-Mart three minutes from our house. But hurry home."

"But you know how busy Wal-Mart is on Saturday morning. What if somebody buys them before we get there tomorrow?"

"Nicole, I said no. You can stop at the one close to home, but you are not to go to the other one tonight. End of discussion," he said, his voice firm.

Nicole suppressed a sigh. "Yes sir," she said reluctantly, knowing he was right. They'd been practicing DD for a year and a half now, and their marriage had never been better, but sometimes it was hard to be submissive on the little things. Yet she found herself smiling. It still thrilled her when he took a firm stance with her. They exchanged I love yous and goodbyes and hung up. Nicole went back from her lunch break, still thinking about the towels, but determined to obey.

She'd been hard at work for ten minutes when suddenly she heard something that made the account in front of her flee from her mind. Linda, the woman in the next cubicle was on the phone with her husband.

"Bill, I found the most perfect towels for our guest bathroom on clearance. They're the exact shade of red in the shower curtain. I was going to get them today, but I was all the way out west, and the lines were horrible, so I just left them. I'm going to pick them up on my way home."

That bitch! She'd heard Nicole talking about those towels three days ago and knew she was just waiting till payday to get them! All warm fuzzy thoughts of obedience flew from Nicole's head. Eyes narrowed, she began to plan. She worked until midnight, but Linda was scheduled until 2:00. She could get the towels and be home before that hussy even turned off her computer.

Suddenly, her husband's face intruded on her thoughts. She stopped short. What was she thinking?

Then Linda's voice drifted over the cubicle wall again.

"Oh, I forgot, Bill! I found the cutest soap dish too!"

Nicole could feel her hands curling into fists. Travis would be asleep long before she should be home. She could be in and out in five minutes, and he'd never know. If he asked about the towels, she could tell him she'd miraculously found them at the Wal-Mart close to home.She shoved down a nagging guilt over her planned disobedience and got back to work, telling herself that it wouldn't hurt anything because he'd never know. Deep down, she knew her excuses would never fly for him, but she just couldn't let that witch get her towels. Or her soap dish!

At home, Travis hung up the phone with Nicole's mother, Holly. Morgan was settled for the night, and Holly's voice had been rich with excitement over her part in the surprise. Looking around at the spotless house, he smiled in satisfaction. It wasn't in terrible shape before, but he'd straightened up the meandering path of chaos that naturally follows a four year old, and strategically placed candles around the den. A bottle of wine was chilling, and there was a carefully wrapped DVD of The Notebook. Nicole had been working hard, both at home and at the bank, and he really wanted to surprise her with a special night.

He passed the bathroom and grinned broadly at the towel bar. After dropping Morgan off with Nicole's parents, he'd made the trip across town. He'd not only gotten the towels and soap dish, but he'd even found a matching toothbrush holder and cup.

At midnight, Nicole logged off her computer and walked with the rest of her shift to the parking garage, shooting a dirty look at the back of Linda's head as she passed. As she buckled her seat belt, she thought again about what she was about to do. She knew she should just go home. Travis had told her in no uncertain terms to wait until tomorrow. But she knew for a fact that the towels weren't going to be there tomorrow! She drove purposefully toward the forbidden Wal-Mart.

She parked and got out, careful to remember her cell phone, but when she looked down at it, she swore. The display was blank, and she suddenly remembered that it was nearly dead when she'd talked to Travis. She'd meant to plug it into the car charger when she left work.

Well, she thought, I won't be long in here. As she approached the store she avoided the leering gazes of two teenage boys lounging on the bench out front. Keeping her eyes in front of her, she walked through the automatic doors. She headed toward the bed and bath section, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure they hadn't followed her in.

At midnight, Travis had a sudden inspiration. He decided to wait at Wal-Mart for Nicole and take her for coffee. The Waffle House was a regular haunt for them when they were dating and during the early, pre-Morgan years of their marriage. Besides, if all went well, the night would be long, and he needed the caffeine.

Nicole stared in disbelief at the empty shelf. They were gone! Every single one of them! She'd disobeyed Travis for nothing! She started at the beginning of the first bed and bath aisle and began methodically searching. Maybe they had just been moved.

At 12:30, Travis looked at his watch and frowned. Nicole should have been here ten minutes ago. Normally he wouldn't worry, but Friday nights after midnight was prime time for drunk drivers. He tried her cell phone. His frown deepened when it went straight to voice mail. He hung up and sat back in the seat. He'd give it another ten minutes, and if she didn't show up or at least call, he'd go look for her.

Dejected, Nicole stared down the final aisle, which was slightly disheveled from her searching. She looked down at her watch and gasped. It was one o'clock! Praying that Travis was long asleep, she hurried to the front of the store. She gave the cashier a perfunctory smile and walked out the door. As soon as she stepped onto the sidewalk, she drew up fast.

The two teenagers from the bench were leaning carelessly against her Xterra. She spun around and went back inside. What was she going to do? The parking lot was otherwise deserted, and the elderly, half asleep cashier didn't look like she would be much help.

I can't very well call the police for something like this, can I? After all, they're not actually doing anything. But when I walked out they started whispering to each other, and the smaller one actually pointed at me! She shuddered as she thought of the predatory way they'd ogled her bottom on the way in. Maybe I should call the police. But what if there's some sort of report they have to follow up on? Travis will blister my bottom six ways from Sunday if he finds out I stopped here!

Travis was at that moment five minutes away. At 12:40, after trying her cell phone twice more, he'd driven her route to work. It had only taken him 15 minutes, and when she wasn't in a ditch along the way, the rush of relief had changed to grim realization. If that little brat's at the other Wal-Mart, she won't sit for a month!

Nicole glanced out the door again, then down at her watch. It was 1:15. She had to go home. I'll just march right up and very firmly tell them to move. She approached the car, trying hard to look very tough and no-nonsense. When she reached the driver's side door, she very firmly said, "Please excuse me. This is my car."

She reached for the door handle, and the bigger boy slid easily in front of it. She jerked her hand back just before it touched his crotch.

"Hey, baby. No need to be shy. You can touch."

Nicole's face burned with fury. "Get off my car!"

Suddenly, the shorter one was close behind her, and she whirled around. He backed her up against the car. "What's your hurry, honey? We should get to know each other better." He rested his hand on
her hip. A scream was rising in her throat when suddenly headlights flashed across them. Her eyes widened when she saw Travis' truck.

Travis felt his heart drop into his stomach when he saw Nicole's car. She was trapped against it, terror in her face. He slammed the truck in park and leapt out. The big one saw him coming and said, "Yo, Mike..." Travis was moving fast when he knocked the kid off of her, and Mike went down hard, emitting an unhealthy sounding squeak upon impact. If he hadn't been so concerned with Nicole, Travis would've broken every bone in the hand he'd laid on her. The tall one actually shrieked as he jumped out of reach. He ran fast into the building, apparently counting on the protection of Madam Cashier. Mike lay moaning on the ground.

Nicole collapsed into her husband's arms, sobbing. "I'm so glad to see you! I was so scared! I thought they were going to - "She crumbled, weeping against his chest. He held her tightly, stroking her back and gently kissing the top of her head. Mike took the opportunity to roll out of range of Travis' boots, then carefully got to his feet and limped off after his friend.

When her sobs had quieted, Travis took Nicole by the shoulders and pushed her back so that he could see her face. "Nicole, what the hell are you doing here?" Her face crumbled again.

"I'm sorry! I just - Linda said she- I'm sooooorrrrry!" she wailed.

"Is your car locked?" Still weeping, she nodded yes. "Then we're going to leave it here tonight since you seemed to think the area is safe enough for you to directly disobey me about coming here. You're too upset to drive. Get in the truck."

Trying hard to keep her crying under control, she obeyed, meekly fastening her seatbelt. Travis flipped open his phone and dialed the non emergency police number. He gave a quick description of the two punks and hung up without identifying himself. The last thing he needed to deal with was coming back tomorrow to a vandalized Xterra, and those two bastards needed a brush with law enforcement. He got in and started the truck. The silence on the way was deafening. At one point, she worked up the courage to ask where Morgan was.

"At your mother's, " he answered curtly, and his tone forestalled any further questions. As they neared home, he turned into the Waffle House parking lot. He still needed the caffeine, but for a different reason now. He parked the truck and turned to face her.

"I don't feel sufficiently reasonable to punish you right now, so we're going to have a nice cup of coffee and a danish while you explain to me what you were thinking."

Miserably, Nicole followed him inside. They took a corner booth with some semblance of privacy, and Travis ordered coffee and danishes for them both. They say in silence until the waitress brought their order. When she'd left, Travis looked at Nicole.

"Well?"

She started to weep again, but his next words stopped her cold.

"Young lady, this is your one and only chance to help yourself here. Now you can sit there crying into your coffee and leave me to assume I have no reason not to whip you raw, or you can share with me your undoubtedly good reasons for directly disobeying me and getting yourself in such a situation.

Over three cups of coffee. She spilled out the whole story, starting with Linda, leading to her dead cell phone (another strike against her), and on to her certainty that the whole trip would only take a minute and that he'd never have had to have known (now why did that sound so bad when she said it out loud?). With every sentence, she sank lower in her own eyes. By the end of her recitation, she could barely meet his gaze. When she'd finally run out of words, he just looked at her for a long moment.

"Nicole, would you like to know why the towels weren't there?"

"Yes sir," she answered in a small voice. expecting something along the lines of it being God's way of telling her she shouldn't have stopped in the first place.

"The towels weren't there because they're at home in our bathroom." Her face went white. "You'll also," he continued, " find a spotless house and a very good bottle of wine chilling in what was planned to be a romantic candle lit setting. You've worked very hard both at home and at work lately, and I wanted to do something special for you." He almost felt pity at the devastation on her face. "Now, we're going to go home and deal with this. I thought about waiting until tomorrow, but I want to put this behind us." He handed her a napkin, and she dabbed at the tears streaming down her face. His voice was gentle when he told her to go ahead to the truck while he paid. He went to the counter and handed their waitress a ten.

"Is your wife okay?" she asked, concern written across her lived-in face.

"She's fine. She had a bit of a scare in a rough part of town tonight, but I'm going to take her home and see to her." She smiled as she handed him his change. He slid a couple of dollars back to her and wished her a good night, seriously doubting that she had any inkling of what his plans of "seeing to" his wife included. The short ride home was quiet, punctuated only by Nicole's occasional sniffle.

When they got there, he said, "Baby, I want you to go upstairs and change into your nightgown and put yourself in the corner. I'll be up shortly. Nicole obeyed, determined to do exactly as she was told every step of the way for the rest of this sorry night. She changed into a simple cotton gown and went to the corner. She hated cornertime. It
was first of all embarrassing, but mostly it forced her to think about her crimes, and tonight that was especially hard.

It wasn't long before she heard Travis enter the bedroom. She could hear the unmistakable sound of wood against wood, and the reality of her impending punishment hit her. She began to tremble. Finally, he spoke.

"Nicole come here please." When she turned to obey, there were no implements in sight, but what she did see sent her heart racing. Beside him on the bed was the kitchen timer. They'd talked about timed spankings, but never actually done one before. This seemed like an awfully heavy time to start. Her eyes downcast, she walked to the bed.

"Lie on your stomach." Somehow, she complied, and she even managed not to try to fight her way free when he leaned across her upper body, pinning her in place. He pulled up her gown and peeled her panties down to her knees, then began to rub her bared bottom. "Do I need to explain to you why you're here?"

"No sir" she squeaked.

"Because if you need, we can go over it, from your outright disobedience to your intended dishonesty to your absolute disregard for your own safety. Or perhaps you need to hear about the stupid, selfish chance you took with the future ever after happiness of myself and our daughter when you decided to force a confrontation with two punks intent on raping you or worse."

"No sir," she choked out, sobbing again. Why oh why did he have to make her feel so bad about this? Wasn't it enough that she'd gotten scared so badly and now was getting spanked?

"No? Well then let's get this over with. The first part of your spanking will last ten minutes." And before she could even wrap her mind around the thought of ten whole minutes, he turned on the timer and brought his hand down hard on her tender bottom. For the next 10 minutes he spanked her bottom and thighs without mercy, covering every spot, then coming back to land swat after swat on her sit spot, that tender area where her bottom met her thighs. When the timer went off, she was a soggy, begging mess.

"All right. Get back in the corner and hold your gown above your bottom. No rubbing, and leave your panties down. We're a long way from done." Shaking, she stumbled to the corner.

After five minuted that seemed both an eternity and an instant, he called her back to the bed. This time he was holding the Cracker Barrel paddle.

"No! Please!" she begged. "I can't!" He raised his eyebrows. "Nicole," he said warningly.She forced herself back into position. This round the timer was set for five minutes. It was horrible. She thought she would die. Her bottom was surely in shreds by now. It was, in fact, a very deep red, but hardly shredded.

After another trip to the corner, she was back in position, now facing Jokari for the same interminable five minutes. The first whack of the CB paddle had actually stirred up a bit of mad in her, and by the end of her time with Jokari, she was in a fair rage. She actually stomped back to the corner. Travis noticed, but he let it go. She'd change her tune soon enough.

This time when she came back it was to the big bathbrush. Minute 3 of 5 broke through her anger.

He sent her back to the corner again, then called her back a few minutes later for a meeting with the evil fish paddle. By the end of this five minutes, the fight in her was leaving. She went to the corner one last time, and this time when she came back to him, he was holding the dreaded short bathbrush.

Usually when faced with this implement, she begged and pleaded and often kicked and screamed.

This time she bent over without argument. She absorbed every swat, allowing herself to concentrate on the pain and what she'd done to bring it upon herself. By the time the last swat fell, she was exhausted, aching, and all sobbed out, but she felt cleansed and new again. Start to finish, the spanking had taken a full hour.

Travis put down the brush and gathered her close. Rubbing her back, he rocked he to sleep. When she was softly snoring in his arms, he began to shake as the reality of how the night could have ended settled fully on him. It was a very long time before he fell asleep.

Just before nine, Nicole turned in her sleep and flopped onto her back, and the throbbing of her bottom pulled her to consciousness. She turned to face Travis, and he opened his eyes.

"Honey," she started, "I so sorry about what I did I -" He put his finger to her lips.

"Shhhh! It's done. Now get up. We're going to have that romantic night this morning."

She carefully rolled out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. The door shut, she checked her bottom in the mirror. It was black and purple, and visibly swollen, but nowhere was the skin broken. She tentatively pushed on a particularly brilliant spot and winced. She would definitely feel this one for a while.

She brushed her teeth, then went out to find clean, preferably loose panties. She had a romantic rendevous to attend.

Copyright AngelBrat 2005

Thank you, Baby!

I just want to say a huge thank you to Nick for the tremendously great job he did at work this last week. He worked harder than anyone should ever have to, and he really pulled things through for us budget-wise. Thank you!!!!!

Sigh...another weekend over.

I had a lovely weekend as usual. Saturday was spent mostly up at the lake at the cabin where we honeymooned. It belongs to Nick's grandparents, and they were having a celebration there for all the June birthdays in the family. There were quite a few: Nick's dad, sister Kate, grandmother, great aunt, and a man named Bill, who I confess I had no clue as to his identity. He turned out to be Nick's grandmother's brother. I think. The gathering was pleasant, which is never guaranteed around "Grandmother", so we were pleased. Our little girl got to swim in the lake with her 5yo cousin Kit, and both of them took their first jet ski ride (with an adult of course). I admit, the highlight of the day for me was surreptitiously taking a picture of Grandmother with her "jet ski hair."

I just don't feel like it's really summer until I've been up to the lake. Nick and I spend a few days there every year around our anniversary, and we'll be headed up there again in a couple of weeks.

Sunday was spent sleeping late, then getting up and going out to lunch. We went to an Italian restaurant we'd never tried before, and the food was wonderful. We came back home to relax a bit more, and at one point I asked Nick if I was due a punishment for the week. The house has pretty much overcome me lately. I did put in some overtime at work, but I've also used that as a bit more of an excuse than I should have. We usually deal with spankings right before bed, but I asked him if we could go ahead and get it over with. He agreed and ordered me to the bedroom.

When I got there, he was already holding the backscratcher, and I immediately started begging him not to use it. That of course did no good, but what was strange was that I arrived fairly quickly at the realization that the arguing wasn't self-preservation. It was disobedience. I'm proud to say that at that point I immediately shut my mouth and bent over the bed. He leaned across my body, holding me down, and started spanking me. What surprised me was how very long it went on this time. He's always thorough, but this one ended up being somewhere around 300 swats. I have to admit, the time involved was good for me, and it wasn't one swat too many.

At one point during the spanking, the phone rang. Nick stopped to answer it, then carried on a brief conversation with my mom. This has happened once before, and I hate it, because for one thing, it's embarrassing to have anyone intrude on such a moment, even if they have no idea of what's going on, and for another, I have to stay in position and listen to him carry on a conversation as if nothing's out of the ordinary, all the while thinking about what's coming as soon as he hangs up. After the phone call, he told me that if I could hold perfectly still, he would only give me 50 more. I didn't move an inch, even though they were all hard ones.

After the spanking was over, we pursued more pleasurable activities. WEG.

Later, we took our daughter out to see Madagascar. It was a cute movie, well animated, and we had gift certificates left from Christmas, so all that it cost us was a nickel (that's all that wasn't covered).

It was a very satisfying weekend.

Survey says....

Here's another fun (and admittedly silly) survey. I snagged this one from A Kinky Woman's Guide to the Universe.
40 question survey

1. Have you ever finished off the popcorn and ate the junk from the bottom of the bag? No

2. Have you ever had sex in a tent? Yes. I'm pretty sure our daughter was conceived in one.

3. Have you ever had a secret crush on a teacher? Yes, although I didn't recognize it as a crush at the time.

4. Do you own more than 100 cd's? Not currently. We're rather hard on CDs.

5. Have you ever been so drunk that you have passed out? Yes, a few times.

6. Have you ever dated a goth? No.

7. Have you ever regretted a date? Yes.

8. Have you ever seen a ghost/ufo? No/no.

9. Have you ever done anything you could be arrested for? Yes.

10. Have you ever done anything you could go to jail for? Not unless they took skinny dipping REALLY seriously.

11. Have you ever broken a bone? I broke my wrist when I was five.

12. Have you ever crashed a car? Yes.

13. Have you ever fallen off a bike? Yes - a very painful and dramatic memory of when I was six. I wiped out in our driveway and cut my knee pretty badly. I swore immediately that I would not ride again until I was seven. I pushed my bike into the garage, leaned it against the wall, and didn't touch it again until my seventh birthday, when I climbed on it and ventured out again.

14. Have you ever refused a date because of what your friends might think? No.

15. Have you ever listened to a song and cried? Yes. "Still in Love with You" by Brooks and Dunn tore me apart when I was 16 and the object of my unrequited desire was graduating highschool and going off to college.

16. Have you ever seen your favorite band/singer perform live? Yes! We saw Metallica in Nashville.

17. Have you ever been found sleep walking? No.

19. Have you ever watched a Tomb Raider movie without being aroused at some point? No. I admit it - I think she's very hot.

20. Have you ever dated someone a decade older than you? No.

21. Would you date someone a decade older than you? No.

22. Have you ever sent a prank call or email? No.

23. Have you ever been pregnant or got someone pregnant? Yes.

24. If not, would you like children? I'd like one more.

27. Have you ever had major surgery? One outpatient surgery.

28. Are you afraid of the dentist? Not so much afraid - I just hate going.

29. Do you have a tattoo? No, but I'm wavering.

30. Have you had any piercings done (not including the ears)? I've had my belly button pierced.

31. Have you ever been pooped on from the sky? I'm going to have to go with no on this one.

32. Do you like scary movies? Not horror movies of the Jason and Freddie genre, but I love to watch psyco-thrillers with Nick right beside me.

33. Do you like your job? Yes. It pays well for what I do, and they're flexible with mommy needs.

34. Do you get along with your parents? most of the time.

35. Do you still have all your grand parents? No. I still have my maternal grandfather and paternal grandmother.

36. Have you ever had a date with someone you met online? No.

37. Do you ever wish you could relive your childhood? Highschool, maybe - knowing what I know now.

38. Have you ever beat up your computer? No, but I've been tempted.

39. Have you ever watched The Goonies more than twice in a day? I've never seen it.

40. Have you ever wondered why you fill this crap in time after time? Um, I just think it's kind of fun.

A hunting we will go....

Also, I got to go thrift store hunting for the first time in months today, and I found these two. The first one is definitely for light play or quick stingy discipline, because it's not very thick.


This one, though, is very serious business. Nick will probably sand down the edges (and the point!), but one medium whack to my thigh literally took my breath.


It's amazing what $2.00 will buy you sometimes!

When creative minds go bad....

Hooray! We finally got a new cord for our camera, so here are the ceiling fan paddles. They look innocent enough, but can be pretty vicious.

Another Poll...

Here's another poll. Voice your opinion!

Best for you?

I'm shamelessly stealing this from a wonderful DD forum I belong to, but the topic really spoke to me. The question was "Would you rather a longer spanking or harder and shorter?"

I'll admit - short spankings, even very hard ones, aren't the most effective for me. For me to really wrap my head around the punishment I need to spend some significant time receiving that punishment. 50 swats is usually a warmup for me. A significant number of the spankings I get run into the hundreds, and that's what I need. But there's a fine line to walk if you spank that way - too hard and I can't even recall why I'm there - I'm just trying to escape. Not hard enough and I ride it out too easily.

The most effective spankings are the ones that start out with meaningful force and build near the end. Those are the ones that bring me to tears (a big sign that the lesson is learned), the ones that I feel the next day, the ones that really associate themselves with the crime in my mind, and the ones that make me feel most loved.

One of my friends has a lot of experience with timed spankings, anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour. This is something we've never done, but I can see the effectiveness. When I know I'm getting say, 150 licks, I'm counting in my head even if Nick doesn't make me count them aloud. I admit, it's a coping mechanism, one I use without thinking. Times that I've lost count have left me panicked. Timing the spanking would take that option from me. Five minutes can mean 100 swats or 500, or anywhere in between. There's no real way to count the seconds off in your head, especially if your count keeps getting thrown off by the paddle landing on your bottom.

I admit, when I've done something that really needs to be dealt with, I don't want Nick to just spank me. I need him to punish me. I need him to take away all the tiny ways I manage to control the experience (just getting through the numbers, wiggling out of the way to keep the paddle from landing on one particular spot, getting out of position completely). I need him to make me surrender my rebellion completely and come back to the sweetness he knows is in me.

Lifeline

Goodness, I feel like I've been away for weeks! This weekend was very busy and way too short. Saturday was spent with Nick at work while I cleaned. When he got home we connected for a while, but we'd both had stressful weeks, and I'm afraid we both drifted into rather off moods. This followed me to bed, and came out as a long, whining tirade of self loathing. This doesn't happen to me often, but when it does, I go into I'm-a-fat-messy-talentless-bad-cook/wife/mother/daughter-who-doesn't-deserve-her-happy-life mode. I hate when I get this way, because it irritates the crap out of Nick, and it's not fair to subject him to my insecure rantings about my legion of shortcomings. He'd done nothing to bring it on, but he had to sit through it. Well, this time he decided to try the one thing that snaps me out of whatever pissy, bitchy, snotty mood I might be in, and he promised me a hard spanking the next day. That shut me up rather quickly, and, amazingly enough, started to lift my mood. It's hard to say bad things about yourself when there's a man with a very big paddle making scary promises because you're unloading on the woman he loves.

He also announced that we were, as a team, going to clean the house from top to bottom. So, when we got up Sunday, that's what we started on. We have a reclining sectional couch that used to be in our living room, and there was a place in the wall where it had dug into the sheetrock. That has driven me crazy for months, because our walls are a brick red, and it stood out like an angry scar. It's been one of those things that you always think to fix when there's no immediate opportunity, then promptly forget until your mother-in-law is sitting there staring at it.

Anyway, we decided it was as good a time as any to fix it, so he got out the spackle, sandpaper and paint, and patched the gouge. That led to "while we're at it" touching up of all the other random nicks and chips sustained by the walls of a house with children over a three and 1/2 year period. That made such a difference that we got out the white trim paint. We ended up repainting all of the doors downstairs with the exception of two closet doors (ran out of paint). Painting took up most of the day, so less was done on the housecleaning than we had planned. That's my project for the rest of the week.

Just before bed, Nick decided it was time to take care of business, so out in the garage, he bent me over the hood of my car and got out his new favorite ceiling fan blade paddle. He gave me twenty or so very hard swats, then announced that I had forty more coming. I immediately got up without any plan to do so whatsoever. "Wait!"

"Now you've got fifty more, and if you move again, your pants are coming down."

It was the hardest spanking I've had in a very long time, and I was in tears before it was over, although I managed not to get up again. When it was done, he sat with me for a minute, but I wasn't ready for eye contact, and eventually, after making me verbally answer that I was okay, he patted my leg and left me to think about the spanking. It took some time for me to really absorb the experience and wrap my head around the fact that he cared enough about my self image to discipline me for the things I'd said.

I have to say, even though it hurt terribly, it was one of the most loving gestures I've ever received, and today my outlook (or inlook) was vastly different. He loves me very much, and even if I sometimes don't feel very special, I know that I very much am to him. After I went back in, I thanked him several times for paddling me, and he's promised to do it again every time I start down that road. I love him so much.

Superhero Spanking

Invidia and TheBoss over at The Collar Purple have declared June to be Superhero Spanking Month. Here's my contribution:

Can't get enough blogging.....

Paul of Lafessee is back! Also, check out Paul's new blog This and That.

I wanna play!!!

Okay, this one's making the rounds, but most people playing aren't tagging, so I'm just going to invite myself!

Have you ever?

1. snuck out of the house - yes
2. gotten lost in your city - sadly, yes
3. seen a shooting star - yes
4. been to any other countries besides Canada - do the Virgin Islands count?
5. had a serious surgery - no, just one outpatient surgery.
6. gone out in public in your pajamas - yes... it's a bit hard to get excited about going to Wal-Mart at 3AM sometimes
7. kissed a stranger - no
8. hugged a stranger - yes
9. been in a fist fight - no
10. been arrested - no
11. laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose - no
12. pushed all the buttons on an elevator - yes
13. swore at your parents - not to their face
14. been in love - yes
15. been close to love - see above
16. been to a casino - yes - on a cruise ship
17. been skydiving - no
18. skinny dipped - yes
19. skipped school - no
20. seen a therapist - no
21. done the splits - ouch! no!
22. played spin the bottle - yes! My first kiss with Nick!
23. gotten stitches - yes drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour - no
24. bitten someone - just Nick.
25. been to Niagara Falls - no
26. gotten the chicken pox - yes
27. kissed a member of the opposite sex - yes
28. crashed into a friend's car - no, but a friend crashed into mine
29. been to Japan - no
30. ridden in a taxi - no
31. been dumped - no; I wasn't all that great - I just didn't date a lot.
32. shoplifted - no
33. been fired - no
34. had a crush on someone of the same sex - no
35. had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - yes
36. gone on a blind date - no
37. lied to a friend - yes
38. had a crush on a teacher - no
39. celebrated Mardi-Gras in new Orleans - no
40. been to Europe - no
41. slept with a co-worker - no.
42. been married - yes. Best thing I ever did!
43. gotten divorced - umm... no.
44. had children - yes - one.
45. seen someone die - no
46. had a close friend die - No
47. been to Africa - no
48. driven over 400 miles in one day - yes
49. been to US - Umm, yes.
50. been to Mexico - no
51. been to India - no
52. been on a plane - yes
53. seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show - no
54. thrown up in a bar - no
55. purposely set a part of myself on fire - uh, no
56. eaten sushi - no
57. been skiing/snowboarding - no
58. met someone in person from the internet - no
59. lost a child - no
60. gone to college/university - yes
61. graduated college/university - no
62. fired a gun - yes
63. purposely hurt yourself - yes.
64. taken painkillers - yes
65. been intimate with someone of the same gender - no

Early Thoughts

Tonight I found the journal I started keeping when we began DD. At the beginning of it were two entries surrounding my second punishment spanking, the first the day of (before it happened), and the second the day after. They're both important to me because they take me back to the wonder of discovering that what I needed really was more than just spanking - it was the attending discipline and security. I never actually intended for anyone else to ever see them (even Nick at the time they were written), but they remind me of learning new truths, and as such they're valuable to me, and maybe they'll even help someone else who's there now.

01/23/2004

I sit here, obsessively counting the minutes. Time has come unraveled, leaping off its spool and spiraling off into the darkness of my fear. These minutes do not contain sixty seconds. I thought I was prepared for this. Twenty-four hours ago this course was not set in stone. One short day ago I could've chosen to sail smoothly.

But here I sit, nervously playing out a script I wrote and no longer want to be a part of. I want to flee. I want to never face the music of my own composition. Yet even as I frantically search the impending situation for any means of escape, I recognize this beautiful terror as necessary. This lovely dance has been waiting for me for centuries.


1/24/2004

The fluttering in my belly has calmed but not ceased. Even now, the ordeal over, the Event passed, I lose my breath in fearful anticipation of the consequence I relive with every sudden move.

It was, in the beginning, nothing I wanted and everything I needed, and as I felt the fire encompass my body, my very essence, the resistance melted away. My own submission thrilled and soothed me, and I know that this is the woman I was meant to be.

You have broken me and made me whole again, and the pieces are a perfect fit. Through it all, the certainty, the sheer inevitability of the outcome caught me and held me, a precious safety net, a promise to be consistent even when I fail.

In six years you have never lost the power to make me tremble. I have given myself to you a million times in a thousand different ways, and each time discovered a different truth about myself. You have chiseled away at my layers, carved away my rebellion with sweetness and force and made me better. For this I am indebted.

Copyright AngelBrat 2004

Grrrr...

Well I was going to post a picture of the ceiling fan paddles (when I came home last night he'd cut handles out on two of them), but our dog managed to get hold of the USB cord to our digital camera, so until we get a replacement, I won't be able to. (Can't get them out of the camera!)