I'm sorry recent posts have been so much fluff lately. I'll be honest. I'm having a hard time getting focused on anything lately. Life has been pretty much spanking free for a few weeks, and I really, really need one. Here's the thing: I even have one coming, but it just hasn't happened in the last couple of weeks for whatever reason.
This is the hard part of DD for me - the part where it becomes obvious to me that I need, crave even, an experience that by definition is painful and unpleasant. It's hard for me to admit to myself, let alone Nick, that something in my heart is out of whack and needs to be reset this way. It's easier for me if I do something that obviously has to be dealt with and he takes the initiative. In a way, it takes off the pressure to own up to this need. And I know that that's not necessarily fair to him. But right now I'm dealing with massive change and disappointment in several areas of my life, and I just don't have the strength to voice this to him.
I need it long and hard and painful and taking me out of my ability to control the experience. And I can't come out and ask for that.
About Me
- AngelBrat
- I'm in my 30's, happily married to a wonderful man. We have two beautiful daughters and a handsome new baby boy, and I'm a stay at home mom with a budding photography business on the side.
Home
The ones I love
Nick - my husband and best friend.
Morgan - our oldest daughter
Daisy - our youngest daughter and middle child
Jack - our youngest child and only son
Kate - Nick's younger sister who lives in Texas
Will - Kate's husband
Kit - Kate's daughter, 16 months older than Morgan
Maddox - William and Kate's son, 4 months older than Daisy
Kelly - Nick's youngest sister, married to Grant
Grant - my parent's godson, close enough that they consider him their child and my brothers and I consider him a brother; married to Kelly
Logan - Kelly and Grant's little boy, 9 months younger than Jack.
Morgan - our oldest daughter
Daisy - our youngest daughter and middle child
Jack - our youngest child and only son
Kate - Nick's younger sister who lives in Texas
Will - Kate's husband
Kit - Kate's daughter, 16 months older than Morgan
Maddox - William and Kate's son, 4 months older than Daisy
Kelly - Nick's youngest sister, married to Grant
Grant - my parent's godson, close enough that they consider him their child and my brothers and I consider him a brother; married to Kelly
Logan - Kelly and Grant's little boy, 9 months younger than Jack.
Adison - Kelly and Grant's baby girl, 19 months younger than Logan.
James - my oldest younger brother, a surgical tech.
Robert - my youngest brother, also my pastor
Faith - married to Robert
Elizabeth - my best girlfriend, I've known her my whole life
Alicia - a good friend I went to school with
Ann - my best friend in highschool, still one of my very best friends although I don't get to see her that often
Denise - a very good friend of mine who recently moved back home to Indiana.
James - my oldest younger brother, a surgical tech.
Robert - my youngest brother, also my pastor
Faith - married to Robert
Elizabeth - my best girlfriend, I've known her my whole life
Alicia - a good friend I went to school with
Ann - my best friend in highschool, still one of my very best friends although I don't get to see her that often
Denise - a very good friend of mine who recently moved back home to Indiana.
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13 comments:
I think that an unspanked (or perhaps unpunished)
bottom is a frequent complaint in relationships
with a spanking component. For those with the
spanking kink, whether it is sexual, discipline
or both, spanking is always there. Spanking is
a high priority, after survival. So it is
easy to feel neglected when you don't get the
spanking you need and your love does not see
spanking as something as important as you see it.
Reading over the paragraph above I'm sure that
I'd get spanked by my writing teacher. What
does it mean? What is the point?
I'm trying to make sympathetic noises and
say that you're not alone. I hope you get a
good hard spanking until you're crying like
a naughty little girl and leaves you sitting
on a pillow.
Wintermute
This is a common problem...at least for me.
I hate asking for it. I hate even talking about it. It took alot for me to tell Bossman what I wanted and needed. But asking for a spanking when I want or need one? I still haven't gotten that brave!
Hope you get what you need soon1
Have you thought about writing him a note or emailing him. It has worked for me in the past. I hope you get what you need soon. I understand the frustration.
Sure do know the feeling, and I hope you get what you need soonest. Disappointment can be so hard to take and when it comes more than one at a time, it's tough. So I hope things calm down for you and get going on a better track soon.
yes i keep hoping she will understand but it doesn't always work and i hate begging
Thanks, Wintermute. :)
Grace - it always helps to know I'm not the only one.
Anonymous, to be perfectly honest, that's why it's on the blog. He reads here often, and it's a way for me to talk to him without talking, you know, TO him. :)
Chula, (((H))) thank you. :)
Dear AngelBrat, The cycle of receiving a much "needed" spanking seems to echo the length of time it takes for the spiritual lesson to "sink" in. Your disappointments are the result of the belief that another reality would have been a "better" reality than the one that actually happened. Ask yourself, who is in charge of the total orchestration of reality in ALL its perfection. It is not you. You must accept that your destiny IS being looked out for. And the deliverance of your spanking also will come in its own time. Not when you deem. But when it arrives, you will be all that much more fulfilled because you will have earned it, by accepting a plan which is greater than yours. Patience, little sparrow. Deliverence is a sweetness reserved for those who can bear the length of time.
p.s. Don't mean to sound SO pastorly
Yeah. Why is it so hard to ask for a spanking when you really need it? And why does it sometime take so long to figure out that the ansty, itchy, smallish feeling is due to the fact that I need to be spanked, or better stated, I need to be reset?
I understand and sympathize.
May future days be filled with as many swoony, hard, sound spankings that leave you feeling reset and satiated as you need/want :)
Sorry to hear you miss the confort of a well spanked bottom but I am sure your frustration will lead to earning a sound one.
expei, I'm sorry - somehow I missed your comment! I promise I wasn't ignoring you. Thanks for sympathizing. :)
spankmewithaspoon, you're so right, and thank you for taking time to comment. :)
naughty_one, "the ansty, itchy, smallish feeling " That says it so well. Thank you. :)
It's good to hear from you, mattie. And I'm afraid you're probably right, although I'm really trying not to be too terrible. :S
I know the feeling Angel! It's so hard to ask for it - I'm still working on that. Sorry my site has been so quiet for so long, but I finally posted something new. Stop by and let me know what you think!
I think you said it very well in your blog post. Have him read it. May a sound spanking grace you soon.
Thanks, leigh. :) And lovely story!
Sassy2, thank you. :) I'm doing much better now. ;)
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