Gratitude Tuesday

This is a very specific Gratitude Tuesday. I posted a few days ago about a friend who was very likely facing the end of her marriage. Today I'm grateful that that's not the case after all.

Monday she sent me an email that said, "You will not believe what God has done for me!!!"

Of course I emailed her back asking "What?!?! What?!?!?"

The story she told me left me very skeptical at first (not of God's ability in this, but of the story her husband was telling her). She met him yesterday to (she thought) make visitation plans for him with their daughter. What she got when she met him stunned her. He told her that he had some things to tell her, one of which was that the affair and the baby on the way were a complete fabrication. (Now you see why I was skeptical).

Some background information: in the past, he has been unfaithful. Ten months or so ago he became a Christian, and that was the point at which their marriage began to turn around. However, at one point after that he moved back out, although he remained faithful during that time. He is a person who has always struggled with the ability to cope with stress, and he has a tendency to feel worthless when things go wrong and to spiral down to the point where he feels like his family would be better without him. That's what happened when he moved out, and that's what happened last week. Part of the trigger was a birthday party he threw for her that had a few hitches, and the spiral started.

He truly felt like he was unworthy to be a husband and father, but he knew that if he told her that, she would try to make him stay. This time he felt like she would be better off if she got over him and moved on. Back when he legitimately was unfaithful, she told him that if it happened again he was gone, no questions asked. So to keep her from trying to make him stay, he invented a story of more infidelity and a baby on the way.

Now I'm sure you're thinking (as I was) oh right, that's likely. There was always a question on her mind on when this could've happened (since he was really almost always with her or their daughter when he wasn't at work). And she'd seen no sign that there was any kind of cheating on his part (as there had been before). Of course those reasons alone wouldn't be convincing. What is convincing is that the girl he said he had the affair with moved out of the state almost a year ago. He chose her as the star of this story specifically because it was something my friend would be unable to follow up on. The affair just wasn't possible.

Sunday night he found himself in a very scary situation in a bad neighborhood, and he found himself looking death in the face. This experience was enough to bring himself to his senses and make him realize what a gift he was throwing away.

Things obviously aren't totally okay between them, but they've agreed to work things out, and they will go to counseling, both separately and together. They still need a whole lot of prayer, but I just praise God that He has given them (and their daughter) another chance.