SPANKING
Or more specifically DD, and the lack thereof. And as I'm moving past the super-emotionalism of my first trimester, it's really kicking in with some clarity just how much I miss really feeling that Nick's in charge. And while spanking has always been a big part of it for me, it's not the whole enchilada. As a matter of fact, I'm a little nervous about how safe spanking would be during the pregnancy. I'm sure big wooden paddles would be out of the question. Probably leather paddles and belts too. But I think we would be okay with silicone spatulas or even (shudder) switches. In fact, I found the most awesome silicone spreader/scraper EVER for $5.99 the other day, but I haven't even shown it to Nick. I'm including a picture, but I'm not sure where in the post it will show up. :)
But anyway, even if he doesn't spank me at all, there are other ways to show leadership. I guess I just need to feel my boundaries again.
But I kind of have the feeling that we're done with this altogether. I don't want to think that, but it's been 3 months since there was any spanking at all, and longer still since there was any pretence at discipline. And the other day when I attempted to initiate a conversation about this, I did get the "Are you going to start this again?" response.
Does he see this pregnancy as a way to make a clean break from DD? Is it just that he's too overwhelmed with becoming a father again to have room for the responsibility and effort of being in charge right now? If the latter is the case, then why nothing to speak of in the months beforehand? If it's the former, okay, I can live with that, but I need some sort of certain knowlege of that so that I can adjust my mindset.
And I know, communication, communication, communication. But I just can't find my way to it right now. I feel like I'm facing an unbreachable wall.
<
4 comments:
Me and Scott actually started DD during my last pregnancy. We did use spanking and we used it until I was about nine months pregnant! The spankings weren't SUPER harsh, but they weren't super easy, either. I can't say that it's safe, but rough sex is okay.. and if a lot of rough pounding is okay, I don't see why some hard swats on the bottom would be harmful. As long as they don't hit the back, I'm sure it's okay. You just have to look at it from different perspectives. How much contact do you think the baby will recieve if he's swatting your behind? The only thing that really happened during my pregnancy was that the spanking seemed to rock the baby to sleep, LOL.
It made me feel better, and relieved stress. Emotionally it really helped out A LOT. And physically, well, you just have to listen to your body!
I'm sure as long as he's not beating the crap out of you, it will be fine.
I'm not a doctor, though, so I can't say for sure.
However I know that with my experience, everything was fine. My sone was nearly 9 pounds and lifting his head straight out of the womb.. He's almost 15 months now, and so far everything is going right along schedule (some things actually before schedule!).
So I don't know. I think it's more of a personal preference rather then a medical problem.
Hope this helps maybe a little bit!
Good luck with everything!
I fell once during one of my pregnacies and landed on my bottom. I was terrified I had hurt the baby. But my doctor assured me that the baby was well protected and not to worry. I am guessing that moderate swats to the cheeks and thighs should not harm the baby. And if these swats relive stress in the mother then it could actually help the baby.
Now as for the communication thing. Start writing him an email with what you wnat to tell him. Explain everything. You don't have to send it. Keep playing with it for a while, change it, add to it, whatever. Try to keep it fairly short - men can only hear so much at once. But this give you a way and time to work out exactly what you want to say ands then you can send it when the time is right.
Hugs,
PK
Writing him or just asking him to look at this post might help.
I'm sorry, I know how much this can hurt when you think it's gone, but you know, I'm sure once things settle down you will be back in it. It might not be until after the baby, but you know what....it will happen!
HUGS!
grace
Thanks, Naomi. It would definitely help me destress!
PK, thank you sweetie. I guess that when we're pregnant EVERYTHING terrifies us!
Grace, thank you - I'm sure he'll eventually get around to reading this, and I'm sure you're right.
Hugs,
Tracy
Post a Comment